Since the other thread is dedicated to bad players and is a bit off track, here's one for the cool ones. Or, hey, post about awesome things the characters have done. Blow your own horn too. I'll start off with some self-proclaimed awesome and bring some more fun from people who aren't me later. Fun With Dragons and Saving Throws Our campaigns always edged towards epic, manic and just plain wild. The standing rule to any potentially crazy choice was "DO IT". Our characters were somewhat overpowered, so they always ended up not fighting just one dragon, but several. All of these were years ago, so I'm fuzzy on exact details of WHY we were doing things. Ultimately, I'm fairly sure it didn't matter. Airship Fight All of our characters were on an airship that was suddenly beset upon by two dragons. We always played with a bunch of mixed levels ... some were level 6, others 12, and a few 18 or 20th level characters. The high level characters all grouped up and flew off the ship (yes, they all had flying abilities at this point) to deal with the larger dragon, leaving the lower level characters to protect the ship from the onslaught of the younger one. After several fly-bys, my character finally grew sick of having to hold his action to attack when it rode by. Bear in mind, this was (to my current horror) a Drizz't Clone who wielded two katanas and wore a cloak not unlike Spawn's (chains and all). My DM was crazy enough to give me what he called an elemental sword. Once per day, it could do an ability based on each of the elements. Air, fire, water, earth. My drow (God DAMN it) leaped from the airship and clung to the back of the dragon. He started making swipes along his back, trying to get rid of me and flies above the airship. Knowing he can't possibly kill the dragon by himself, he makes a last ditch effort. Self: "Alright, I'm going to try stabbing the sword into the dragon's back." Dave: "Make the roll." Self succeeds! Self: "Stone to Flesh!" Dave: Self: Dave rolls for the save and gets ... a 2. Dave: "You did it. I don't know how, but you did it. The dragon's scales slowly begins to petrify around your sword." Self: Dave: "You suddenly realize you are on top of a slowly petrifying dragon. It struggles but is finally no longer able to flap its wings. The heavy weight of the stone dragon now plummets and crashes through the airship, splintering it into pieces. Everyone on the ship falls into the ocean below. The rest of you fighting the other dragon see the ship explode into pieces and Riensynn on top of a giant dragon statue, surfing it down, as he suddenly disappears into the ocean." Everyone: Self: Dave: "Do you know how to swim?" Self: "No!" Edit: Aware it's kind of jerky to create an "awesome characters" thread and post yourself first, but it was the shortest story I could think of at the time.

This one time, we were investigating a group of mind-controlling spellweavers, and found a way into their underground lair. Unfortunately for us, they were using shadesteel golems (awesome floating things with high strength and a powerful necrotic energy attack, from MMIV or something) as cargo lifters. We got our asses kicked, and it was all we could do to escape with our lives. So, what do we do? Like any bold adventuring party when they face defeat: They pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and sleep and prepare spells. Bright and early the next morning, Mr. Golempants was visited by a now-deathwarded and fully prepared execution squad. I (party druid) turned into a cave ankylosaur, and between that, wild armor, barkskin and miscellaneous buffs, had an AC that was just about unhittable. We're talking 40 or so, at level 10. I went up to our buddy and started giving him hugs of Rusting Grasp to drop his AC, and after two our melee fighters were ripping him to shreds. Probably our best revenge story, and being a dinosaur giving out rusty hugs was just too much fun.

I'm awesome player. This one time, I knocked a guy's head off with a baseball bat!

I will relay the stories of the Eberron game I ran for a group of friends a few years back. The PC's: Konk Demonguts, Half-orc Barbarian from the Demon Wastes who has wandered into the world seeking battle and glory. Petronius Camli, Shifter Monk whose intense training and meditation acts as a counter-balance to his feral nature. Melchior d'Cannith, Human Artificer and prodigal son of House Cannith, shirking his duties to House and family for a life of adventure. In the first adventure, the PC's find themselves in a tavern in Thrane, near the border with Breland. Total strangers, they meet through complete happenstance to whet each of their thirsts before continuing on their respective journey to wherever the hell they thought they were going. The tavern is run by two ladies: an older woman, with a tired, ill-tempered face and grey hair cinched back into a bun, and her younger daughter, a gorgeous maiden with flowing red hair who flirts quite forwardly with the PC's. In walks a Sergeant in the army of Thrane along with two of his lackeys. He gives a glare at the PC's and then starts copping a feel on the redheaded girl, spouting very coarsely the things he wants to do to her. Petronius stands for a moment, like he wants to do something about it. The Sergeant turns to him and says, "SIT, boy! Before I put you down!" His lackeys put hands on hilts, and the Shifter monk backs down. The redhead tries to pull her arm away from the grasp of the Sergeant, who proceeds to backhand her and begins dragging her by her hair to the bedrooms upstairs, with her sobbing but not fighting back, and the mother still not doing anything or saying a word. Hell, she looks more annoyed than anything else. The Sergeant gets her to one of the rooms and slams the door behind him, the sounds of his manhandling of the girl clearly audible to the PC's downstairs. At this point, they have had it. The artificer and monk leap towards the two lackeys, while Konk dashes up the stairs and batters down the door to the bedroom. He sees the girl on the bed, her skirt hiked up and her blouse torn, and the Sergeant has just dropped his pants, towering over the bed ready to commit the deed. Konk pulls out his greataxe and, before the Sergeant can even reach for the sword sheathed in his belt hanging over the nearby chair, the barbarian cuts the man into bloody gibbets. That's when the shit hits the fan. Unbeknownst to the PC's, the Sergeant and his two men were sent ahead of a patrolling column of Thrane soldiers to secure a room for their Captain (the Sergeant deciding to engage in some "recreational activities" while he was there). When the fight breaks out, one of the town citizens rushes to the soldiers' encampment outside the town to get help. After the PC's dispatch the three baddies, and before they can plan their quick getaway, they see dozens of light cavalry rush around the inn, surrounding it on all sides. Clearly outmatched and outnumbered, the PC's are forced to surrender, and the Captain, not willing to hear their side of the story (what with three of his soldiers lying dead in the inn), sentences them and the redheaded girl (who the Captain reveals is a changeling) to death by hanging, to be carried out at sunrise. Spoiler: show spoiler hide spoiler The next section is directly ripped off from Discworld, but I love it and it is awesome, so I don't care. So the PC's find themselves in the local jail behind bars, awaiting their execution. In walks this really nice constable, who brings them a wonderful home cooked meal of ham, sweet potatoes, and blackberry pie. As he waits for the PC's to finish, he relates the story of a horse thief who, no matter how many times they caught him, would always escape in the night before they could hang him. No one ever could figure out how we was getting free of the jail. When asked what eventually happened to him, the constable tells the party that the last time they caught him, they put him in leg irons, and while he did still manage to escape the jail, he couldn't run fast enough to get away, and they hung him in the morning. The constable then gathered the plates and spoons and whatnot and wished the party sweet dreams. So, once alone in the cell, the party searches frantically for a way out, but their search is for naught. The bars are too strong for Konk to bend, the lock too complex for Melchior to pick, and the masonry much too sound to even give the hope of finding a loose stone. Stumped, frustrated, and grim with the knowledge of their upcoming deaths, Petronius gives up and lies down on the one bed in the cell, staring at the ceiling in dejected acceptance of his fate. That's when he sees some scribblings written in sandstone chalk: Spoiler: show spoiler hide spoiler CHEK THA HINJES MAT Upon closer inspection of the doors, they find that the hinge bolt on the cells is the old drop-in type, and so they simply lift the door off its hinges and walk out of the cell, setting the door back in place to conceal the trick. They run down to the redhead/changeling's cell and free her as well. She tells them her name is Summer, and that she has a friend in town that might be able to help. The party then finds out Summer's story: that her father (whom she has never met) was a wandering bard who wooed her mother then left the next morning, never to be seen again. Of course, the innkeeper discovered that the bard had left a little present, and nine months later Summer was born. To the horror of the innkeeper, however, it wasn't a human child presented by the midwife, but a changeling. This led to the rest of the town ostracizing the innkeeper, who, in her bitterness, placed all the blame for her situation on Summer, using her as menial labor, and, when she became old enough, forcing Summer to whore herself out to visitors to the inn as a means of making some extra coin. Fortunately for Summer, there was one man in the town who secretly took her under his wing, loving her like a father and also teaching her the skills to protect herself should the need arise (essentially training her as a rogue). So the party sneaks through town in the dead of night to this man's home. The man, fully aware of the dire situation and thankful for the intervention of the PC's, has made arrangements with a friend of his at the Lightning Rail station to smuggle them on board and take them away from the town to a place where the soldiers could not pursue: Sharn. Summer, however, says she needs to return to her home and gather her belongings before they can leave. Once again sneaking into the night, they go to Summer's mother's house near the inn, picking the lock on the front door. Unfortunately, the mother was expecting Summer's return and proceeds to berate the girl for "all the trouble she's caused, even though I brought you into this world! You should be grateful... etc." The monk sucker-punches the woman in the face, and she promptly collapses to the floor. Summer gets her things and takes all the money the mother was hoarding from pimping her daughter out, and the party heads to the Rail station. At this point, the sun is soon to rise, and the alarm is raised in response to their escape. Frantically evading patrols, the party manages to hide themselves from the soldiers long enough to rendezvous with the friend and board the train for unknown adventure! "Summer, changeling rogue, has joined the party!" I'll tell part two later.

An compassion-based Exalted character of mine killed 200,000+ innocent people in the second session of a campaign. I think I took like five points of limit right there. Not the most intellegent thing I've ever done, but hell if it didn't set the stage for the entire campaign.

On the homebrewing front there's this guy, but I have a Plutonium-esque tale from a GURPS game It was a SF theme, vaguely reminiscent of something like Red Dwarf or Paranoia as it dealt with near-future mining corporations and... um... paranoia. Difference was the GM took his setting really seriously. He repeatedly explained his intent to write a book/story based off the campaign events. So the group (who all came to in the ship's brig, incidentally) have fought and lied their way to the flight deck of this half-deserted, heavily automated ship, orbiting the planetwide headquarters- "Capitol"- for this mining conglomerate. This flagship was being prepped for warfare, ready to bomb the hell out of a rival guild's homeworld. We had a space pirate, a space ninja, a space cowboy, a space mechanic and a space... uh... diplomat. I mean they didn't self-identify as such, but we were a walking sci-fi trope. The bridge turns out to be devoid of interesting enemies and is instead home to some elderly technicians with an AI unit that, from the GM's descriptions, must have looked something like Robbie the Robot. My character, having opened the door to this area, is abruptly told that the surrounding technology is far beyond his means- the controls are all locked down and so the AI is unresponsive. "No problem," announces space diplomat, "I'm going to talk to the technicians." And he launches into a monologue of such passion, such dramatic fervour, that I, uh, can't remember any of it. He begs the technicians to turn their back on their goal and jettison the flagship's nuclear smart bombs into space, to reject the demands of the Capitol board/government to lay waste to a world that's so much like their own. Combined with his stats, his plea for the lives and homes of innocent people on a distant planet leads the men to ignore their orders and unlock the AI's control panel, flushing out the bomb bays. "Excellent," says space diplomat. "Okay, AI- you can hear me and follow commands?" The GM confirms that, yes, now the AI can hear us. "Right. I want you to prep for hyperspace and take us home. Oh, and before we go, activate those smart bombs and have them hit Capitol."

Well, I have a couple from the same person, but one fits here, and one fits in the other thread. In our latest campaign our team of adventurers was looking for a special relic. At this point we hadn't found out what it was yet, and it was the goal of a competition in the local village. The group consisted of Me(Paladin), Nick(Rogue/Fighter), Matt(Wizard), and Cliff(Ranger). I had gone to the local church and found out that an evil group had left town in search of the relic. Our goal was to intercept them and get the relic. What we didn't know at the time, was that we were going to a manor where the former owner was certifiably crazy. Like, cutting up his servants to make flesh golems crazy. Anyways, we made it through the first 5 levels of the manor proper, and found an elevator to go down to the basement. One particular room in the basement caught our eye. It was about a 35x35 room, with the door in one of the corners. Each other corner had these pillars topped with a translucent crystal pyramid occupying them. In the middle of the room was a huge chest. Of course, our rogue goes straight for the chest. As soon as he gets more than 10 feet into the room, all the pyramids shoot a magic missile at him. So we go about seeing if there is a special path we have to take to get to the chest. Nope, as soon as we get 10 feet into the room in any direction we are hit by these missiles. Its around this time that our rogue gets a bright idea. He takes out one of his pitons, and ties it to a rope. He then swings the rope over his head, and tries to hook the piton to one of pyramid. Through an amazing use rope check, he succeeds. He, then proceeds to pull the entire structure over, and drags it out of the room to the adjacent hallway. This was then done for the rest of the pyramids. Interesting side note, my Paladin tried to help pull one over. He rolled a natural 20 strength check. Awesome! He then failed a balance check miserably with a 5. Needless to say he fell right into the path of some magic missiles.

Oh man, I was going to do that Discworld one.

I don't have an awesome story myself (yet), but I do remember reading a story (I think it was on this board) of a party trapped in a room with a ceiling that was slowly descending down, and no apparent way to escape. The party wizard took off all his essentials, said a suitably epic good bye, and turned himself to stone to save the rest of the party. That sort of roleplaying really impressed me, and I'm hoping to see some great moments in a game I'm going to run with my friends.

That's definitely an excellent way to go out. One of our players, David, had his character go out in a suitably heroic fashion. He was fighting a pack of werewolves solo (I don't remember how this happened) and he was down to only a few hit points left. He rolled his last attack in what he presumed was his last round to try and stab the leader of the pack straight through the heart. He rolled a natural 20 and the blade pierced swiftly into the beast's chest, killing it in an instant. The next round, the rest of the pack ravaged him to pieces, but they no longer had a leader to rally around and dispersed to the wind.

Our group was lovingly referred to as the Rainbow Brigade due to the propensity of our Warforged Wizard named Crunk Cruise (Yes, Crunk as in the genre of music and Cruise as in Tom Cruise. Seriously, don't ask.) to use rainbow-based spells and dress very flamboyantly as he flew around on his flying carpet (which was actually Tensor's Floating Disk with a carpet sewn around it because we were too poor to afford the real thing). We had many awesome stories, but I shall tell you one. We're in Ravenloft doing the whole Ravenlofty thing. Anyway, one of the subquests we are on is to retrieve some artefact from a coven of witches. We approach the circle of witches and we begin our plotting. Sure, we could have probably just gone in there and slaughtered everyone, but where's the fun in that? We craft a brilliant plan to deal with these witches in a slightly more ingenious, but just as bloody, manner. As we spied upon the witches, we figure out that they are engaged in some sort of summoning ritual, hoping to summon a demon named Chernobog. Crunk, our wizard extraordinaire, casts Polymorph on my character and turns me into a Beholder. He then casts invisibility on me and I float on over to the centre of the circle and drop the invisibility. My character, in his Beholder form, screams out, "Behold! I am the avatar of Chernobog! You have brought me forth, now bow before me so that you may gain Chernobog's favour!" These weren't particularly intelligent witches, so most of them think they succeeded and start doing as I say. The lead witch, however, is a bit more intelligent and sees through my highly transparent ruse. She shouts out that I am spewing falsehoods. Well, shit, the cover is blown... or is it? I respond, "That witch blasphemes against Chernobog! Destroy her so that her faithlessness does not sully your coven!" I succeed on my bluff check and the witches promptly attack the lead witch, quickly dispatching her. They ask me what they should do next. I respond with, "FEAST ON HER FLESH!" They do so. After they cannibalise the only decently intelligent member of their coven, they ask me what they should do next. I tell them to gather close to me so that I may bestow the blessing of Chernobog upon them. They all gather close, very close. I then cast a Sudden Maximised Fire Burst, blowing them away.

as he flew around on his flying carpet (which was actually Tensor's Floating Disk with a carpet sewn around it because we were too poor to afford the real thing). That's a terrific story and ingenious way to dispatch the witches, but THIS is the best.

Everyone but our GM is fairly new to DnD, but we manage to have a lot of fun doing cool-type stuff. At the start of our campaign I bought a signet ring, so now our trademark way of finishing off bosses is for me to punch it in the forehead. Also my pet owl generally seems to be way more useful than me. Thing rolls twenties like crazy.

last night my paladin got stabbed by four kobolds and died by three failed death saving throws in a row this was well into the fight and the warlord and the cleric in the party had both spent every type of healing power they had and the cleric failed his heal check by rolling a 12 to stabilize me hooray i am so awesome

A description would not do this justice. --- "What is it going to take to put one of these things down?" says Sparklelad with a sneer. He looks down at the Moon Lord. "Care to try that trick of yours again?" he asks as he heads for the plummeting monster, picking up speed. "I am ready, my luminous lad." Sparklelad smirks. "Then get ready. I intend to go fast." With a sudden, unexpected explosion of sound, the Moon Lord finds himself being conveyed at astounding speed towards the magical monster. The Moon Lord holds his arms out in front of him, balling his fists as he and Sparklelad streak through the air. "FULL MOON STRIKE!" the Moon Lord yells as they collide. A shockwave of force erupts from the collision of the Moon Lord and the Ur-Baugr. Windows on the buildings surrounding the battle all shatter, and as they do, Dr. A intones the final words. "BEGONE," he says, his voice echoing. The creatures disappear in a flash, leaving a smoky, burnt smell in the air, and five exhausted heroes.

Our group was lovingly referred to as the Rainbow Brigade due to the propensity of our Warforged Wizard named Crunk Cruise (Yes, Crunk as in the genre of music and Cruise as in Tom Cruise. Seriously, don't ask.) to use rainbow-based spells and dress very flamboyantly as he flew around on his flying carpet (which was actually Tensor's Floating Disk with a carpet sewn around it because we were too poor to afford the real thing). We had many awesome stories, but I shall tell you one. We're in Ravenloft doing the whole Ravenlofty thing. Anyway, one of the subquests we are on is to retrieve some artefact from a coven of witches. We approach the circle of witches and we begin our plotting. Sure, we could have probably just gone in there and slaughtered everyone, but where's the fun in that? We craft a brilliant plan to deal with these witches in a slightly more ingenious, but just as bloody, manner. As we spied upon the witches, we figure out that they are engaged in some sort of summoning ritual, hoping to summon a demon named Chernobog. Crunk, our wizard extraordinaire, casts Polymorph on my character and turns me into a Beholder. He then casts invisibility on me and I float on over to the centre of the circle and drop the invisibility. My character, in his Beholder form, screams out, "Behold! I am the avatar of Chernobog! You have brought me forth, now bow before me so that you may gain Chernobog's favour!" These weren't particularly intelligent witches, so most of them think they succeeded and start doing as I say. The lead witch, however, is a bit more intelligent and sees through my highly transparent ruse. She shouts out that I am spewing falsehoods. Well, shit, the cover is blown... or is it? I respond, "That witch blasphemes against Chernobog! Destroy her so that her faithlessness does not sully your coven!" I succeed on my bluff check and the witches promptly attack the lead witch, quickly dispatching her. They ask me what they should do next. I respond with, "FEAST ON HER FLESH!" They do so. After they cannibalise the only decently intelligent member of their coven, they ask me what they should do next. I tell them to gather close to me so that I may bestow the blessing of Chernobog upon them. They all gather close, very close. I then cast a Sudden Maximised Fire Burst, blowing them away. This fits Ravenloft so much. How much taint did that earn you, by the way?

Pfft, they probably have their own domain from that.

Epic Beholder Action This fits Ravenloft so much. How much taint did that earn you, by the way? I was the DM for that particular group. We didn’t use corruption rules in that campaign. Besides, the corruption would have been counterbalanced by the Rainbow Brigade’s levels in Being Epic. Here’s another story from that group. A quick rundown of the party: Eugen: Wand-Slinging Wizard played by Premier Kakos Crunk Cruise: As described above Halden: Human Fighter, typical 2H Sword power attack build. Sam: Changeling Rogue. The ironic moral compass of the group. Simon the Barbarian: The new guy at the time of this story. Chuck: DMPC Adventurer Intern 1/Cleric 1 The party just reunited after being split up in a Kraken related shipwreck on a tropical island (southern Lhazaar Principalities for you Eberron fans out there). They met at a lake shore, near the sunken ruins of some ancient civilization or another that was ripe for looting. After a brief chat on the shore they hear a crashing in the nearby jungle. Soon, a Tyrannosaurus Rex burst through the foliage and charges at the party. Simon:”Oh SHIT! Spread out!” Rest of party:”What? Nah.” Halden:”Form up! We meet him head on! HOLD THE LINE!” Simon is taken aback by the tactics of his new group, but complies. The party proceeds to line up their minis in a battle rank, with Crunk floating above on his “Flying Carpet.” The T-Rex crashes into the party and a melee ensues. After a round or two, the T-Rex manages to land a bite attack on Halden, getting a free grapple and preparing to Swallow Whole next round. Halden’s turn comes around... Halden’s Player: Alright, I swing. Power Attack for 4 Me: You’re grappled, you can’t use your sword. Only Light and natural weapons. Halden: I don’t carry anything smaller than my six feet of Flaming Steel +2…can I punch him? Me: Sure but it’s non-lethal. Halden: Meh. I’ll punch him. Power attack for everything. 3.5 Rules reminder: If you have more non-lethal damage than current HP, you go unconscious. Oh yes. He hits and punches the T-Rex out cold. Halden: “So who wants Dino burgers tonight?”

I'm awesome player. This one time, I knocked a guy's head off with a baseball bat! Now give yourself a bit more credit, INNS! You knocked a Guy's head off with a called shot, in a completely dark room, with a baseball bat. And, if I remember correctly, the "guy" was a Fomori and you were a vampire. But I could be remembering another time you slaughtered a random npc with your sheer awesomeness....

Halden’s Player: Alright, I swing. Power Attack for 4 Me: You’re grappled, you can’t use your sword. Only Light and natural weapons. Halden: I don’t carry anything smaller than my six feet of Flaming Steel +2…can I punch him? Me: Sure but it’s non-lethal. Halden: Meh. I’ll punch him. Power attack for everything. 3.5 Rules reminder: If you have more non-lethal damage than current HP, you go unconscious. Oh yes. He hits and punches the T-Rex out cold. Halden: “So who wants Dino burgers tonight?� One of my friends, Mike, liked to make random weird characters and NPCs that he'd never play. He made one, that was like, a level 25 Paragon moose lycanthrope, with about 40 str, who wielded something like a +7 Merciful Mercurial Fullhammer. This thing could go around knocking dragons out with one hit. He could kill them, but then he wouldn't be The Magnanimoose!

One of my friends, Mike, liked to make random weird characters and NPCs that he'd never play. He made one, that was like, a level 25 Paragon moose lycanthrope, with about 40 str, who wielded something like a +7 Merciful Mercurial Fullhammer. This thing could go around knocking dragons out with one hit. He could kill them, but then he wouldn't be The Magnanimoose! That is so awful, it's awesome.

I've got a couple from my games of dark heresy. Garic, the techpriest did a few awsome things in one particular encounter. The pc's had a pretty rough time last encounter, with one seriously wounded (to the point where the players had to chip in all their gelt to pay for his new limbs). Their inquistor saw this as a prime oppertunity to resolve a problem that had arisen. A sector of the hive had gone into lockdown, and the only way into the sector was with an authorised beacon. Now he didn't want to send anything that would panic the large residential areas around there with no reason so, the inquistor arranged for a a hospital transfer as cover to get the pcs in. The plan was to use the beacon on the ambulance to get in, assess why the sector locked down, and report back. Unfortunatly the villian from the second downloadedable adventure (not shattered hope, the hive bound one) had been busy with her parasite and had decided to trade control with contagion, turning the sector populace into flesh eating zombies. Fighting from the back of the ambulance the priest declares that he is using ferric pull on the doors. He slams them shut with magnetic powers taking the top off of some zombies. A quick frag and a running battle later and the players find them selves atop a Hab block, with the stair collapsed and the building rapidly filling with undead, the players realize that the who didn't fit In the ambulance (being unable to attend the session) had all the climbing gear. The tech promptly asked "habs are metal right?" "yeah" "well then I detach sheets from the roof and using my servo arm and welding gear I build a bridge" Not only a good idea, but it also saved my ass as gm seeing as I had forgotten one guy had all the geaman typing posts on an iPhone is a pain in the ass.

I remember once: I was playing a monk, I don't recall what my friends were. In any case, they were trapped in a pit with a slowly descending ceiling that would eventually crush them. In the room above was a stone golem that none of us were really capable of doing much damage to. Somehow, I had been teleported back to town. Knowing my friends were facing imminent doom, I used the only money I had to buy the fastest horse I could find, rode it until it collapsed, then made three consecutive endurance checks to run on foot the rest of the way back to the temple. I then charged the golem, grappled it, and threw it into the pit. The golem fell through the ceiling, stopping the mechanism and making a hole for the rest of the party to climb out through. By the time they were out of the pit, the golem had gotten up, but was too heavy to climb out. It was now trapped, and my party was free. Unfortunately I was killed on the way back to town by a roving band of goblins or orcs or something that got a ridiculous string of crits.

During one Rifts campaign, the GM decided to recreate the Starcraft Zerg in South America, and our brave little band of adventurer's were called upon to cleanse the infestation. We were a mixed lot team, with my character at the time being a Coalition States trained sniper, who also happened to be a Zapper (class of master psychic). The CS are intolerant of all non-humans, and as such my character had trouble fitting in with the various supernatural creatures and magic users within the group, but hey, when you're essentially shanghai'd into a team that's thousands of miles from home, you do the best you can. By the end, they were grudgingly working together, and came to the final battle of the campaign; an assault on the final 'hive'. We'd been given grenades that emmitted a toxin that was terribly effective at killing the creatures, but had to be administered to them pretty directly, so at times it was of questionable use against opponents that were deadliest in melee range, and often best dealt with using heavy firepower at a distance. Our team hit the target zone and was immediately thrown into the fight of our lives. The battle was long and gruelling. People were starting to run out of magic, ammo and armour, and there were still throngs of foes against us. Taking a page from Ender's Game, I decided to try something daring, and collected every grenade and explosive we had on hand and hitched a ride with one of the other team members to the absolute center of the hive/conflict. Upon arrival, I proceeded to set every one of them to go off at the same time as a giant cluster of munitions. While this weapon wasn't supposed to harm native flora and fauna, we'd never set off this many at once in the same place before, so my team mate and I hunkered down on the spot and I tossed up every forcefield I could generate immediately around us. Thus becomming one of the few characters in the history of our campaigns to single handedly commit genocide during the course of regular gameplay.

Awesome Character,not player This is my entry for a character optimization tournament we were going to have in my work gaming club last year. Put together with some help from folks on these boards. Buster, The Useless Wizard (Formerly Buster, The Human Commoner) Str 8 Dex 12 (4 points) Con 14 (6 points) Int 12 (4 points) wis 8 Cha 18 (16 points) HD 1d4+2; hp 6; AC 11, touch 11, flat-footed 10 1st level feat: Mercantile Background (+300 gp; Buy/Sell Item at 75% 1/month) Human Bonus Feat: Least Mark of Handling (Speak with Animals 1/day) Weapon: Quarterstaff (free) -1 melee (1d6-1) Skills: Handle Animal 2 ranks (+6 Bonus) The Rest Don't Matter Possessions: Tower Shield (30 gp), Guard Dogs (See below) The Setup: A wizard's spellbook is considered to contain all 0-level spells and 3+int modifer 1st level spells. In this case, Buster would have all 0-level spells and 4 1st level spells. Per the rules, you can sell a spellbook for half the cost of scribing said spellbook, or 50 gp per page (75 gp per page with mercantile background, 0 and 1-level spells take up 1 page each). The cost of a guard dog is 25 gp. Therefore, for each spell a wizard knows at first level, he stands to gain 3 guard dogs. In the case of PHB-only spells (19 0-level spells), after Buster has purchased 12 Guard Dogs with his 300 gp from mercantile background, he will stand to gain 69 additional guard dogs for a total of 81 Guard Dogs in total after he sells his spellbook. When adding in supplements to this equation, Buster gets 3 more guard dogs for every 0-level spell available to a wizard I can find. Currently I have found: 4 in the Book of Vile Darkness 9 in Spell Compedium 1 in Complete Arcane 1 in Magic of Faerun that isn't covered elsewhere So 15 non-core 0-level spells, for 45 additional guard dogs, bringing the grand total so far up to 126. After adding in wizard starting gold instead of commoner no money, Buster will also purchase a tower shield to provide total cover. He will weild it clumsily, incuring the ACP on attack rolls (which he won't be making) and a ASF of 50% (he won't be casting spells), but be effectively out of sight while the guard dogs attack. Non Combat 1st Round: Equip Tower Shield for Total Cover. Activate Least Mark of Handling. Combat 1st Round: Tell Guard Dogs to eat opponent. Remainder of Combat: Hilarity ensues.