Okay, the autofillin for swears on the SA Let's Play is decidedly hilarious.

+1 for RENT reference. Actually, a two man production of RENT has hilarious potential.

I just finished Crisis Core and, while the gameplay was kinda meh and pretty easy at times, the story kinda got me. Mostly because you know exactly what happens to Zack. You get all these relationships and characters that care about him and you know he's gonna eat a lead sandwich before the credits. Makes it pretty sad. At least he goes out with a bit more style than in FF7.

I just finished Crisis Core and, while the gameplay was kinda meh and pretty easy at times, the story kinda got me. Mostly because you know exactly what happens to Zack. You get all these relationships and characters that care about him and you know he's gonna eat a lead sandwich before the credits. Makes it pretty sad. At least he goes out with a bit more style than in FF7. See, I really liked the gameplay of CC, but absolutely hated the story. It was like terrible, terrible fanfiction. Everything with Genesis just made me cringe. Even his stupid fucking name.

But I'm glad you decided about what to do about the WEAPON and you're right in that it doesn't have any story influence at all. Actually, I think it'd be kind of neat if you did fight Sephiroth at the "correct" level since I'm half curious what it'd be like to actually almost not win against him. That and the quicker we get to the end, the better. It would suck if you got this far and then ran out of steam as close as you are to the end. My wife did this her very first play thru. She was around level 48ish when she was fighting Safer Seph. The battle was going alright, except when Seph would use that Black Spotty looking thing. For the entire second half of the fight, Rex XIII and Vincent were Frogs, with Cloud holding the only ribbon. Cloud basically solo'd Seph the entire second half. She expended all her elixers and ethers and everything, it was actually coming out to be a really close finish. Also, Thats not the last thing you have to do with Vincent. Vincent has some unique lines: Spoiler: show spoiler hide spoiler When you approach hojo at the mako cannon ...atleast I'm pretty sure.

If we're talking about Dirge, then everyone should watch the Unskippable of its opening sequence.

I just finished Crisis Core and, while the gameplay was kinda meh and pretty easy at times, the story kinda got me. Mostly because you know exactly what happens to Zack. You get all these relationships and characters that care about him and you know he's gonna eat a lead sandwich before the credits. Makes it pretty sad. At least he goes out with a bit more style than in FF7. See, I really liked the gameplay of CC, but absolutely hated the story. It was like terrible, terrible fanfiction. Everything with Genesis just made me cringe. Even his stupid fucking name. I'm like a combination of the two of you. I hated both the gameplay and the story. Hence I did not make it very far. The battle system felt clunky and unintuitive and I found myself really indifferent to any characters other than Sephiroth and Zack. It's a shame too, I love FF7 and had some pretty high hopes based on reviews/impressions.

I heard that equipping one char with 2 pieces of materia, and keeping their health maxed at 9999 would mean that Air tam storm would put them on 7777 health and take about half of emeralds HP off. Though it was hearsay - it would avoid needing KoR

I heard that equipping one char with 2 pieces of materia, and keeping their health maxed at 9999 would mean that Air tam storm would put them on 7777 health and take about half of emeralds HP off. Though it was hearsay - it would avoid needing KoR And then you make sure the character in question is someone with a multi-hit Limit Break, filled and ready to use, and that the two materia are HP Plus (to reach 9999 HP in the first place) and Mime... Ungarmax hitting for 7777 on all 18 hits? The ability to use it again the very next turn? AND the next? There goes the other half. Although, to be fair, any strategy involving Mime and Counter/Magic Counter would pretty much work. 4x KOTR - Magic Counter, KOTR/Master Summon - MP Absorb, and a KOTR - MP Turbo? Sure, it'll take forever to get the 6 KOTRs you need (even with the Master Summon), but the minute you get hit even once, Emerald loses at least 3/4 of his health, if not all of it. 8x Counter - Mime, while Cloud has Omnislash ready to be used? Now you're just talking overkill...

I always liked giving Yuffie (due to her ultimate weapon) like 13 counter-attack materia and a Cover, so that she is KotR. The way I see it, you've only "beat" emerald when you can run into him, unplug your controller, and watch your characters kick his ass.

I have never seen the Zack death scene. I always thought he bit it in the reactor with Sephy. Ya learn something new...

I fear to say it, but I might be having some severe technical issues where the worst case scenario is a complete restart... A weaker person might give up but if that's what I end up having to do then so be it. I will finish this.

Godspeed.

Haha! I got it... The next update will have nothing wrong. Honest.

Haha! I got it... The next update will have nothing wrong. Honest. The plot thickens... as opposed to ShinRa, who are just thick.

Hoo boy, that was a close one. Almost had a real issue there. The bad news is it took like 5 extra hours of time I had alotted for my play and writing so by the time I finally got to writing my brain was fried. The section didn't really lend itself to much funny either but we must press on. I could have waited another day but I don't like going this long without updates. Part 29: Dimenticare di Ricordarsi Spoiler: show spoiler hide spoiler There were a lot of shots in this update, so I’ll sum up the initial Bugenhagen meeting for you: ‘Where should we go now?’ Bugenhagen: ‘Well, look deep within yourself, what do you see?’ ‘Nothing. What kind of piss-poor advice is this?’ Bugenhagen: ‘Well… look harder.’ ‘Fucking senile old geezer… Uh… I’m remembering when Mary died. That was a pretty good day. I think she said some stuff to me before then but hell if I know what it was all about.’ Bugenhagen: ‘There you go! That’s definitely it… Yeah… Let us go to where she died and hope we can psychically figure out what she meant!’ ‘Oh Jesus, here we go with the planet talking shit again…’ But first we just leave the Huge Materia up in his observatory without any real protection or anything. Bahamut Zero is all you can get from them right now. It’s a pretty nice summon, though. ‘Oh you douche. I totally wanted to be the one to do that… Well, what happened? Be specific.’ ‘Ehh… I would have preferred to see it for myself…’ ‘Well, we’ve both been stabbed by Sephiroth before, so what the hell do you think she felt? Probably pain and then death. Just to, you know, throw out a wild guess.’ Yeah, that’s what I think. Good thing no one here gives two shits about your opinion, then. I know what I just said, but fine, I’ll bite. Really, what makes you think that? Listen, that doesn’t mean anything. It would be kind of morbid to go talking about your true intentions in that scenario. “Hey Mary, want to go see a movie this weekend?” “Oh, thank you but no, my schedule is full with all the dying I plan to be doing.” “Oh uh… …How about next week?” ‘Is it that your old man stench is putrid? Because listen, being 130 and having no legs doesn’t absolve you from maintaining good personal hygiene.’ ‘Wow, stop the fuckin’ presses, huh? Got any other breaking news you want to unleash on us? How about that Sephiroth is still alive, or that Dr. Acula is a whiny emo bitch, or that Jailbait has a sweet, sweet ass?’ Holy what? Ooh, the Holy Grail? Well, it’s our last hope now thanks to Team Moron here. I think you can sort of guess where the Holy materia went, though. ‘Alright, sweet. Let’s go get this White Materia then.’ ‘…Well, shit… Bloody hell… I love ambiguous, double-edged Deus Ex Machina devices.’ ‘God damn it. Whose idea was it to talk to this Weeble, again? FIRE DOG! I am getting you neutered. Fuck your endangered species.’ Why not turquoise? You don’t see enough things that are turquoise these days. All that shit about it being good for nothing when in fact it was good for saving the world. Glad she told us all this and used it as soon as Sephiroth became a global threat. Into water. We’ll never get it back, now! We’re doomed! Dooooomed! ‘Good thing I found some retarded object in the ocean earlier that looked like a bad piece of modern art. Could that be it?’ ‘Hey, it plays Memory. I love that song. Memory.. All alone in the moonlight… I can smile at the old days… uh... la la la la laa…’ Splasho. An ancient waterfall video projector… It’s interesting and all, but it’s no 1080p... The materia is pale green! It’s active after all! Mary Sue actually succeeded, it seems. Even though it cost her life, Mary was able to get Holy working. So the world is safe and we have no more Mary! What could be better, right? Hold on. Maybe we spoke too soon. Holy isn’t working quite yet. Sephiroth is obstructing it…? Holy is supposed to be the vanquisher of all evil, and Sephiroth is getting in its way? What use is it, then? Seems like Shinra is up to something. Remember how the cannon was missing from Junon? Apparently the solution to not being able to aim the mega cannon of death is to just move the whole damn thing. Actually there was a totally weird line of dialogue not in there about how the Huge Materia was used to power the cannon (which also doesn’t make any fucking sense as Shinra was explaining Huge Materia like it was the first time they heard about it not too long ago), but since it was “used” for the rocket plan (aka “stolen by retards to become floating interior décor.”), they needed a new power source. So where did they move it? A place with a lot of Mako… Gee, I wonder where the fuck that could be? Shocking! Just in time for Christmas, too. Mama Mia! Shinra is going to try and break down Sephiroth's barrier with the new and improved cannon! Despite our best efforts to make them fail, they're still trying to save the world. Good for those guys. In another strange moment, Scarlet reveals the cannon's "new" name all dramatic like, being Sister Ray. Not only is that an arbitrary and shitty name but... that was written on the side of the cannon when I ran across it with Lockheart. So, someone beat her to it, I guess. Holy crap! It’s Robocop! Oh, now you want to let Shinra do your dirty work? You’re a really shitty triple agent, you know that? By the way, if you haven’t figured it out by now, Not A Spy is controlled by Reeve (Mr. Ethics in the blue suit above from the beginning of the game who objected to destroying Sector 7’s pillar.) Not A Spy assures him she is safe with Mary’s mother. Because we all know old ladies are resistant to ancient biological superweapons, right? Loaf kind of flips Not A Spy off, and he gets all defensive. Why the fuck is he a redneck all of the sudden? And in Dirge of Cerberus he’s inexplicably Scottish. This is why I don’t reference those other games. I’m just happy to claim complete discontinuity. This story doesn’t need any more help getting fucked up. With that logic, why was it so dire to stop Shinra getting the Huge Materia? It seemed like it was all because you didn’t want them killing innocent people to get it, but you did the same shit yourself. Not only are you an idiot, you’re a massive hypocrite. And to complete the cycle of “What the fuck are we arguing about here?” a member of Shinra is now trying to claim how precious life is. This is the same guy who never admitted to anyone how he kidnapped a child and old lady to blackmail Squall to do what he said. ‘Yeah!... Wait, what the fuck is Midgar…?’ So we decide to stop Weapon as it heads toward Midgar. It takes its time and allows us to finish our entire game of Risk before it gets here. How nice. This is Diamond Weapon. One of my favorite enemy models in the game. I don’t know why, but it looks a lot more detailed than almost everything else we’ve fought so far. I really don’t have a lot to say about him, other than he’s not much trouble. So let’s test out our nice new Bahamut ZERO materia. Spacedragon shall do the deed. Don’t ask why Squall has Manipulate and Morph on. Trying to level up materia I guess, but there’s almost no fucking point in leveling up those two since it takes so long and the result would just be… another manipulate and morph. I really should give him more useful things. If this misses, this could potentially backfire on our whole “protecting the world” plan. Kafwoom. Roboweapon pretty much says “fuck this” and begins to walk away. What the fuck are you? The Weapon Whisperer? How do you know this? Total blackout! Fuck you people on life support and those who were in the middle of watching porn! (In my mind, Shinra is too cheap to provide hospitals with battery backup.) Bwaaaaaaaaamm Weapon: ‘Leave me alone!!’ Wow, shit. Shinra has managed to kill two Weapons with that cannon so far. Gotta hand it to them. Course Weapon was right in the path again, so apparently the planet needs to program its special defense force with a bit more insight on self preservation. Hell, killing Weapon was just their bonus. They were really aiming for Sephiroth’s shield. They successfully destroy it, too. How convenient for us. Though I think we could have just used mega space dragon to do it since its beam looked a lot deadlier. Which poses the question, why did Diamond survive that beam but not the cannon shot? Damn cutscene inconsistency. But… no good deed goes unpunished. ‘To be… or not… to be…?’ Good night, Sweet Prince. It’s okay. He’ll be hosting the great Tonight Show in the Sky. Next time on Final Fantasy VII: Please don’t glitch on me anymore, game. I am so close.

Italiano?

I don't remember. Why did Rufus' office explode?

That must be some seriously flame-retardant cloth for him to have survived that. (See: Advent Children) Still, he took that blast pretty well, all things considered. I don't remember. Why did Rufus' office explode? Diamond fired those shots off before Sister Ray iced him.

IIRC, the Weapon started shooting at Midgar as the Cannon was firing.

Ah. Well, that makes sense. I don't know if Advent Children counts as 'retconning' but I'm glad that Rufus (inexplicably) survives. He was kind of cool.

So was I, but still. He had the coolest 'death' in the whole game. If I recall, he even does his trademark hair-flick before saying 'Fire.'

Italiano? Yeah, that was an odd switch.

I have no idea what you guys are talking about.