Hah! I have defeated Rend in Round One! let the partying begin! Oh I played nice last round because I wasn't sure how crazy peeps were gonna get. Peeps got crazy. Now it's on.

Hah! I have defeated Rend in Round One! let the partying begin! Oh I played nice last round because I wasn't sure how crazy peeps were gonna get. Peeps got crazy. Now it's on. I still beat you last round, my darling. And I will continue to do so! You will not be able to resist my AWESOME!

Is it time for Rend to pitch? Rend needs to pitch.

Is it time for Rend to pitch? Rend needs to pitch. Spoiler: show spoiler hide spoiler Seriously. There's an audience waiting here... Spoiler: show spoiler hide spoiler Carry on.

Good lord I am NOT on the ball these past few days. I've been waiting for Rend to submit, but he totally already had. My apologies. I'll get with things, guys. Yes, Rend, go right ahead and pitch.

ksssshhhhhhhk ksssshhhhhhhssssssshhhhhhhhk More static... ksshh--em c-kssh-n you hear now? Excuse me? Ca- oh, good. This is Rend Miller-Goldstein again, from Rend Applied Technologies. Now, as many of you know, we at Rend Applied Technologies have been working into the ground floor of the budding biotechnology field for quite some time now. Well, we're proud to show you the fruits of our labor. I come to you from our top secret laboratory somewhere in Nevada to show you the ultimate in biological weaponry. I present to you, the discerning investor, The Cute Virus Behold these test subjects. BEFORE AFTER -- BEFORE AFTER --- BEFORE AFTER --- BEFORE AFTER Now as you all know, there is absolutely no way you could ever hurt something that cute! I mean, look at the little guys... they are SO. CUTE. The Department of Defense will be jumping all over this one. Get on the bandwagon before it's too late, people. Do it. Rend Applies Technologies, out!

But if RAT is turning everyone into cats, how can they survive long enough to make this a prudent long term investment. Spoiler: show spoiler hide spoiler I am lame.

But if RAT is turning everyone into cats, how can they survive long enough to make this a prudent long term investment. Spoiler: show spoiler hide spoiler I am lame. Those aren't cats, bum! Those are C-Soldiers. They're faster and stronger than normal troops, and they have contracted the Cute Virus which gives them, aside from superhuman constitution and toughness, a cuteness so adorable nobody can bear to stand up to them.

But if RAT is turning everyone into cats, how can they survive long enough to make this a prudent long term investment. Spoiler: show spoiler hide spoiler I am lame. Those aren't cats, bum! Those are C-Soldiers. They're faster and stronger than normal troops, and they have contracted the Cute Virus which gives them, aside from superhuman constitution and toughness, a cuteness so adorable nobody can bear to stand up to them. Bum Corp is skeptical. If the military wants real soldiers, they can just turn their men into vicious Martian killing machines by having them eat Martian Monster Cookies. Further testing has indicated that the creatures that emerge upon digestion are in fact rather nasty. It's now being marketed to the military instead of as a Girl Scout cookie.

Rend: are you investing in the Cute Virus at this time?

I think supplying Deluxe Holy Hammers to our troops is a more efficient way both in cost and battle effectiveness.

I think supplying Deluxe Holy Hammers to our troops is a more efficient way both in cost and battle effectiveness. That's a First Amendment Fight Bum Corp will fund the ACLU's lawsuit over. The legal fees will destroy your company!

The mass production of Lolcats can only ever be a bad thing.

I am indeed investing in the Cute Virus

I completely agree with Daius. That being said, I will have my post up shortly... ish. I'm still trying to figure out the marketting strategy. Edit:: alright. I've typed it up three times. And everytime I got to hit save and post it here, my computer f'ing blue-screens and I lose it. So if you guys want to skip past me for the time being, that's alright. I'll be around tomorrow night, hopefully with my product typed and posted. If you want to just put me at the end of the round, that's fine. My computer is just not cooperating with me tonight and I have to work tomorrow.

I completely agree with Daius. That being said, I will have my post up shortly... ish. I'm still trying to figure out the marketting strategy. Edit:: alright. I've typed it up three times. And everytime I got to hit save and post it here, my computer f'ing blue-screens and I lose it. So if you guys want to skip past me for the time being, that's alright. I'll be around tomorrow night, hopefully with my product typed and posted. If you want to just put me at the end of the round, that's fine. My computer is just not cooperating with me tonight and I have to work tomorrow. Gah, that sucks. We'll let Bum Corp. go ahead, and then you for this round.

Bum Corp is proud to announce we have discovered a brand new way to exploit the natives of Mars for our personal well being. From the makers of the Martian Monster Cookie comes... Evil Alien Shampoo! That's right, our expert chemists have discovered that by extracting the blood of these evil aliens and using it to wash our new team of testers' hair, the testers went from this: to this: Imagine the possibilities! In just one usage all your problems with split ends and frazziness will go out the window and be replaced by a shining, lustrous coat of hair. With your new found confidence, you'll be able to land the girl of your dreams! Invest in Evil Alien Shampoo today! Like me!

Ahava Incorporated is somewhat pleased to introduce our newest product, drawn from inspiration gleaned from antiquities found in the deepest treasure trove known to man. Unsinkable Denture Bombs The first template for our new invention was retrieved deep from within the bowels of the Titanic wreckage. A newly explored area of the first deck suites revealed a floating object that none had seen before. Theodore, the underwater robot that does the explorations of the Titanic's wreckage, grabbed the spherical object and brought it back to the surface where our waiting, and completely legal, salvage boat was waiting. Once aboard the salvage boat, as it skimmed quickly across the water, our scientists investigated this sphere. As they poked and prodded it, the sphere shrunk in size and then, just as quickly, expanded so rapidly that it exploded! We were shocked, amazed, and horrified as the terrified and injured screams of our scientists reached our ears. When our rescue boat reached the salvage tug, there was nothing more that we could do. Our scientists were all dead. They had sustained severe wounds, what appeared to be bite marks, on faces and necks. As we surveyed the carnage, the only thing that we here at Ahava Incorporated could find were multiple pairs of dentures. If century old fake teeth could cause this kind of damage, just imagine what the newest denture technology could do! And so, here you have it! The newest offering from Ahava Incorporated's Personal War Division: Unsinkable Denture Bombs. These are iron encased spheres for storing your dentures. Or nails. Or nailfiles. But they are designed for holding dentures. The best feature, if you are ever in a tragic boat accident where everybody dies? Your dentures will live on! In pristine condition! And if some foolish person tries to open the sphere without knowing your personal code, the sphere will open. Violently. Never allow somebody in the future to get their hands on your precious teeth! Kill them if they try! Invest in Ahava Incorporated's Unsinkable Denture Bomb today! Spoiler: show spoiler hide spoiler uggggghhh that sucked.. i couldn't do any better.

Are you investing in yours, Ahava? Also, I like that everyone suddenly went from "invest in our company's product", to "who can make the best weapon of wartime death".

No, I'm not. and it wasn't supposed to be a weapon!!! That's just kinda how it ended up as I was typing this up, for the fourth time. *mutter grumble*

Mana Machinery has made impressive advances in weapon technologies in these last few years. Today however we bring that ingenuity to the cuisine of Japan with Sexy Sushi Unlike the boring and traditional rolls you can find in any cheap grocery stores Sexy Sushi comes in a variety of shapes which will excite any number of sexual orientations. All the classic flavors of raw fish are present along new twists on some of the classics. We're also proud to announce that these sushi pieces will also feature our own custom designed aphrodisiac, which has been scientifically proven to improve sexual activity through extensive testing () Sexy Sushi, the one sushi you won't need wasabi for some excitement. Investing in this product

Hey that post failed to bump the thread how weird. But yeah sorry for my late entry, I've had alot of things to juggle.

Daius that is the best pitch. Ever.

Good lord yes it is. You know what's also funny? That you guys are putting your heart and soul into some of these inventions, but even still, you're going, "Mm.. no, I'm not wasting money on this. Nobody's going to buy this garbage."