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Best Man Speech: Appropriate/Innappropriate
DVG
No. 1 Honor StudentNether Institute, Evil AcademyRegistered User regular
No. 1 Honor StudentNether Institute, Evil AcademyRegistered User regular
So my best friend is getting married on Saturday, and I'm working on my speech. And I'm trying to decide if this joke is crossing the line for appropriateness or not.
I’m so honored to get a chance to get up here today and talk to you all about Jeff. There were so many things I wanted to say, and these aren’t stupid, trivial things. These are things that are really important. I spent a lot of time thinking about it, and I was worried I was going to forget, so I wrote it all down so I wouldn’t forget a thing. So ready? Okay, here goes.
I’m so honored to get a chance to get up here today and talk to you all about Jeff. There were so many things I wanted to say, and these aren’t stupid, trivial things. These are things that are really important. I spent a lot of time thinking about it, and I was worried I was going to forget, so I wrote it all down so I wouldn’t forget a thing. So ready? Okay, here goes.
Jeff is so gay, that when he told me he was getting married I thought he was also telling me that he got kicked out of the Army.
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Do his friends and family normally make jokes about him being gay? If so, then I'd assume it's appropriate.
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Reading your speech in my head, though, you would totally bomb.
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A Best Man toast should be sincere. Humerous, but poking fun at something everyone can laugh at.
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I was called upon as Best Man at a couple of my close friend's wedding, and I stressed quite a bit over the speech, mostly worring if it would be long enough to fille the expected time. Once I got over that, I just went with sincere, and while I did use some elements of humor, I just went with my own natural style and spoke sincerely, and everything worked out fine. I got enough material, it all ended up flowing pretty well, and I got to work in some very personal aspects that made it a memorable speech.
I got lots of compliments afterwards, and the bride and groom couldn't have been more pleased.
I'd advise if you're having trouble with the humor aspect of it, then don't force it. Don't worry about getting the big LOLs. If those come naturally to you, that's cool - go for it. If you're more comfortable telling a cute, soppy story about the couple, or just saying a few sincere words, do that. I bet they'll love it.
Ultimately, whether or not that joke is appropriate depends entirely on the families involved. Were someone to say something that crass at my wedding, I know that my family would -- for the most part -- be highly amused. But both sides of my family appreciate it when usually solemn occasions are broken up with vulgar humor.
You'll have to keep your audience in mind when deciding whether or not to use that joke, or ones similar to it.
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If you're trying to be funny, it shouldn't sound like you're doing a stand up comic routine which is the vibe I'm getting. Make it flow.
The joke itself is terrible joke. The structure is backwards.
Better structure for the same but still shitty joke: When Jeff told me he was leaving the army to get married, we were all shocked. None of us thought they took Dont ask Dont tell that seriously.
Still a bad joke, but you subtley sneak in the 'Jeff's a gay' as the punchline. Don't use it though. Its a bad joke.
You'd be lucky to get polite laughter. You don't need to be a comedian. This isn't about the lulz. You're talking for two minutes in front of the least hostile crowd imaginable. You don't need to shoehorn lulz in, let alone third rate lulz.
If you need help, write down or post a few Jeff anecdotes. Sometimes just writing down kinda funny stories reveals comedy gold.
...So please raise your glass to <Bride> and <Groom>.
To a long happy life together
beautiful children
and <lulz>
<Jeff is so effing gay!>
...would be doing it wrong.
Seriously, I just want to echo the sentiment of not trying to be funny. Funny isn't manufactured. If it's not natural, it's immediately noticeable.
Best Man should be short, lighthearted and completely forgettable.
Alternatively, "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."
:^:
Lurv that movie.
But god that is like a study in how not to write a joke. It starts right off announcing that it's going to be a joke, then takes forever to get to any sort of punchline. The punchline then is just the opening again phrased differently, which isn't what a punchline is supposed to do.
You could just wave your arms around and shout "LAUGH AT ME" and that would probably be about as effective. It would probably come off as about a thousand times more natural too.
If its wrong, why am I LOLing?
In a juvenile kind of way... I guess.
There's a best man speech on youtube and collegehumor that does just that. It was actually pretty epic.
I remember seeing a comedian who might be able to pull off this joke, but only because his entire act was that of a bad, nervous, almost mentally challenged comedian (complete with clown-horn).
Can you link? I am incredibly curious.
For the record, I told it as written to a few friends, all of who laughed their asses off. My concern wasn't with being able to tell it in a funny way, or if it would fall flat, strictly "Should I tell a crass joke like this at a wedding?"
Also: This wasn't the entire content of the speech, just one silly joke that I'm sure everyone I know at the wedding would have found hilarious. The rest of the speech is more normal.
EDIT: Beat'd.
No pedo jokes, either.
Just want to make the post relevant.
This may be it, but I can only do a google at work. If not, I promise to link properly tomorrow when I am not under the iron fist of my IT department. Many lulz.
www.collegehumor.com/video:1759620
I doubt there's really any chance this is appropriate, but how appropriate other jokes are just depends on how people are doing/how much they have had to drink.
that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
Case in point.
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Congratulations Jeff, I don't know how you convinced her but to use an old Irish toast
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You're two for two in this thread, and I love it.
OP's joke would really only work offhand without thinking about it, like while playing cards or something. Really I think the "man my friend's so gay but not really" joke is probably played out.
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But yeah...usually if you need to ask if something is innapropriate or not...it usually is.
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1. Thank everyone for coming to the wedding.
Ex. Thank you for making it out to _____ and ______'s wedding. It really means a lot to them that you are here to share this special day with them.
2. Thank the bride/groom families.
Ex. I'd also like to thank ________ and _______ for putting on such a great wedding and reception. I know how much hard work you put in to making everything perfect for your son and daughter and it really shows. The ceremony was beautiful and the reception has been wonderful.
3. Compliment the bride.
Ex. ______ you look so beautiful tonight.
4. Rib the groom about how much he sucked before he met the bride.
Ex. I've known _______ for 19 years and let me tell you, he...
5. Tell the story of when they started dating from your point of view.
Ex. When (bride) and (groom) started dating, (groom) told me that he was head over heals for (bride) from the get-go. I knew he was serious when he actually started to bathe regularly and repeatedly asked for date ideas. They dated for 3 years and it really got to the point where everyone was just wondering when they were going to get married; they were just so good together. Suffice to say, I wasn't at all surprised last year when (groom) asked me if I thought he should ask (bride) to marry him. I told him he was a dummy for putting it off for so long!
6. Give anecdotal advice about marriage if you're married.
7. Raise your glass and toast the bride and groom.
Ex. Here's to (bride) and (groom).
8. Say congratulations and good luck!
Ex. Congratulations and good luck!
Tips:
1. You can be funny through the whole thing, but keep the jokes appropriate for the audience.
1(a). It's easier to be funny at the beginning and then progress to more serious/less funny.
2. DO NOT INSULT THE BRIDE. EVER. NOT EVEN PASSIVE AGGRESSIVELY OR IN AN INSIDE JOKE.
3. Don't go overboard on insulting your friend. You did that during the bachelor party.
4. Keep it short. The wedding isn't about you.
5. Write it down before you give it. Don't wing it when you get the microphone.
So much better.
What was going on when they laughed? What was the situation? How drunk was everyone? Because if everyone was riffing on the theme having fun, so you already had the setup, you already had the cadence, and you already had the laughter going, you're going to get a much different reaction than when you try to shoehorn it into a speech.
With the entire speech, if you want to tell a joke, you have to remember that it's coming in the middle of a speech... the only reaction you have is laughter/"awwww"s. Also, all the setup and cadence has to come from you and you alone. That's not just for jokes, that's for the entire speech. Don't try to be too funny, don't over-extemporize, and don't force shit in because it totally was funny during the poker game last week. Keep it short, simple, lighthearted, and make sure it flows.
I mean honestly the biggest problem with that joke was just that it was poorly constructed and not funny.