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What's the next step (Online Dating)

KyouguKyougu Registered User regular
edited September 2009 in Help / Advice Forum
I know there's some people with online dating experience, so hopefully you all can help me out.

So I placed an ad on craiglist last night in the personal section, and surprisingly someone answered that caught my eye. We shared 2 emails now, and added each other in facebook, so things seem to be going fine. Though I'm at a loss at what my next step should be.

What's the etiquette for this? Should I ask her for her phone number and take our conversations there? Chat on facebook? Just ask her out for coffee this weeekend?

I'm just not sure how fast/slow I should move.

Kyougu on

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    Hey AshtrayHey Ashtray Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Coffee/lunch this weekend.

    Hey Ashtray on
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    ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Some people prefer phone calls first, some people don't want to give that information out so soon. Some people like to meet after a few e-mails, some people would rather wait a month or so.

    There is no right answer, but I'd shoot for the common meeting place for a short period of time.
    ie, coffee/lunch

    Improvolone on
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    MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Thirding the coffee/lunch thing.

    A lunch date is good for tenuous meet ups because it allows both parties the ability to cut short or extend the time together. Evening dates during the week may be acceptable, depending on your municipality and fire codes.

    MichaelLC on
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    JasconiusJasconius sword criminal mad onlineRegistered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Prooobably slow. Not to be demeaning but Craigslist is pretty much the bottom rung in terms of dating/personals.

    I personally find calling to be awkward, but a few more e-mails wouldn't hurt to make sure this person is not insane. Unless you really feel like she is really up your alley then by all means, coffee in a public place.

    Don't go too slow. 3 weeks of e-mailing followed up by a lousy first date will just piss you off.

    Jasconius on
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    T-boltT-bolt Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Yeah don't wait too long before the first meet. You don't want to ask her out after 1 or 2 emails, but a long time spent talking to her online is a waste if you can't stand each other after 5 minutes face-to-face. A simple meeting at a coffee shop shouldn't be off-putting.

    T-bolt on
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    CyberJackalCyberJackal Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I would echo the others here and advise setting up a short, casual meet up (coffee or lunch are certainly good options for that). People can be very different in person than they are online, so you really want to move things into the real world as soon as comfortably possible.

    Also, I would probably suggest avoiding Craigslist in the future. It just seems more sketchy to me, though I certainly hope your new friend is one of the exceptions. OkCupid is a pretty decent site, and costs nothing.

    CyberJackal on
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    ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    www.okcupid.com
    It can be disheartening at first, but there are some fun people on there.

    Improvolone on
    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
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    PeregrineFalconPeregrineFalcon Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Kyougu wrote: »
    I know there's some people with online dating experience, so hopefully you all can help me out.

    So I placed an ad on craiglist last night in the personal section, and surprisingly someone answered that caught my eye. We shared 2 emails now, and added each other in facebook, so things seem to be going fine. Though I'm at a loss at what my next step should be.

    What's the etiquette for this? Should I ask her for her phone number and take our conversations there? Chat on facebook? Just ask her out for coffee this weeekend?

    I'm just not sure how fast/slow I should move.

    I don't know what the next step is, but the one afterwards is "Pay her and kick her out of the car."

    PeregrineFalcon on
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    BuddiesBuddies Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I would end the next email with my phone number and ask if she would like text messaging as it is easier than email. Girls like to text, you get her number. After a day of nonstop texting ask her to meet up.

    This way you have her phone number incase something happens and you cannot make it to the date or are running late.

    P.S. Don't run late.

    Buddies on
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    KyouguKyougu Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Haha, I know all about craiglists repuation, and know about okcupid. I wasn't having much luck there, and figured I would test out craiglist. I seemed to have run into the one sane person other than me it seems (facebook help comfirm this).

    So yeah, I think for sure a meeting this weekend in the works. We're having great email conversations, but if they keep up we may not have anything to talk about when we first meet.

    Kyougu on
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    As7As7 Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    You will, but you should also really meet soon. Drawing it out will just make things more awkward when you do meet in person, plus you'll see a different side of the person.

    As7 on
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    TaranisTaranis Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Wow. You got a hit from craigslist. I've never tried that myself.

    If anything I would say the more contact you have with her before you meet the less awkward it will be.

    Maybe if you communicated by webcam and/or phone it would ease the transition to a real life meeting. I usually drink a few beers while talking to a girl on web cam before I meet them in person.

    Taranis on
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    Evil GummyEvil Gummy Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Tell her to meet you for coffee, and tell her soon. It's way better to just meet up as soon as you get the basics out of the way. I hate giving my number out to anyone I'm not face to face with, not every girl is like this though, so give her yours if you want and wait for a text.


    Good luck though! Craigslist, man, really? :D

    Evil Gummy on
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    darkmayodarkmayo Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    plentyoffish.com , its free (completely free) and there is a metric fuckton of people on it.

    Seriously tho.. Craigslist? Was there a picture? was the picture from the 70s when she was in her teens?

    darkmayo on
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    ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    I've made a post on craigslist. Out of maybe 15 responses, 3 were legitimate people. The key is to make it obvious that your post is a legitimate post.

    Improvolone on
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    TaranisTaranis Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    darkmayo wrote: »
    plentyoffish.com , its free (completely free) and there is a metric fuckton of people on it.

    Seriously tho.. Craigslist? Was there a picture? was the picture from the 70s when she was in her teens?

    This is why I make a point to talk on webcam first. There's nothing worse than meeting up with a chick and she's twice the size she was in her picture. Also pictures can be kind of tricky with some camera angles, but you can usually gauge how big they are by the size of their arms.

    Taranis on
    EH28YFo.jpg
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    UnderdogUnderdog Registered User regular
    edited September 2009
    Just meet for something casual. If you build too much of a relationship online before meeting, it can screw with your face to face expectations.

    Underdog on
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    SheepSheep Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2009
    It's not Online Dating OP until you actually take her on a date.

    Sheep on
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