This is the best I could come up with in ten minutes:
[spoiler:8f34daf6d3]
"By your powers combined, I am CAPTAIN PLANET! And I am READY TO FUCK!!" Captain Planet gained full presence just as Gaia came in the bedroom, yelling "What is going on here!?" Captain Planet sucker-punched Gaia in the face with a massive fist and gripped his own enormous blue penis by the shaft, just below a huge tuft of green pubic hair. "Get ready for this bigass dick, you crotchety old bitch!" He tore Gaia's robe and prepared to shove his forearm-sized cock into her![/spoiler:8f34daf6d3]
[spoiler:a620dc46d3]"I know what's going to happen," Charlie Brown told Lucy, as she feigned an expression of confusion.
"What ever do you mean?" she replied.
"Everytime I try to kick the football, you always pull it away at the last minute and I end up falling down and hurting myself," he explained to her. "I'm not going to fall for your tricks any more!"
"Charlie Brown, do you honestly think I'm some sort of a bully? Why would I want to do such a thing to one of my closest friends?" Lucy replied, batting her eyelashes in a flirtatious manner.
"I'm not falling for it!" he yelled, and started to walk away from the field.
"If you kick it into the goal post, I'll suck your cock." Lucy muttered under her breath, after a few moments of silence.
Charlie Brown turned around, a curious expression now enmeshed in his face. "What did you say?"
"I said, if you kick it into the goal post, I'll suck your cock," she repeated.
"You're lying." Charlie Brown sighed, as he started to turn back around.
"Wait!" she yelled back, "I really mean it Charlie Brown! I've always wanted to do it!"
Ever slowly, Charlie Brown turned his head, and began to stare intently into Lucy's silky blue eyes. "You have?"
"Yes..." she whispered. "Ever since I met you, I've wanted my lucious lips around your throbbing cock. Linus told me that he saw it when you were going to the bathroom. He said it was bigger than his blanket. Ever since that day, I knew I had to have your cock in my mouth."
Charlie Brown blushed, "Well, I suppose if you want to... I can give it a shot."
"Great!" Lucy exclaimed, as she placed the football down on the grass. "I'm ready when you are."
"If you score big, you're going to get your cock sucked," Charlie Brown thought to himself, "This is just the sort of thing I've been waiting for. I can't fail!"
Lucy smiled sexily at Charlie Brown. "I'm looking forward to sticking your cock deep into my throat."
Charlie Brown began to sweat profusely, but he knew what he had to do. He closed his eyes for a moment, then he took the shot.
But something went wrong. Where his foot should have met the ball, it encountered only air. From the corner of his eye, he could see Lucy's careful hands remove the ball from it's position. He had been had.
The pain was immense. His back spasmed violently and a loud ringing emitted from his ears. As the ringing subsided, he could hear Lucy's cruel laughter. She was pointing at him in disgust.
"That bitch," he thought, "She did it again! This time I'm NOT going to let her get away with her misdeeds!"
Lucy continued to laugh, unaware of the brooding figure approaching her. It was Charlie Brown, and his face conveyed a furious expression.
Her laughter began to subside, "Charlie Brown! You're so foolish!"
He didn't speak a word.
"Oh, come on Charlie Brown. Did you honestly think that I was going to suck your cock? I'm the most popular and prettiest girl in school. And you... you're just a loser."
"Well this time, this loser is gonna score. BIG TIME!" Charlie Brown roared as he placed his hands on Lucy's shoulders.
Lucy became uneasy, "What are you doing, Charlie?"
"I'm raping you, you lying bitch!" Charlie Brown explained calmly, as he began to ravage Lucy's blue blouse. In seconds, it was torn off completely, revealing her bra-less breasts. They were small, yet supple. Charlie began to carress them harshly, Lucy began to scream.
"Aaaaaa! What are you doing to me, Charlie Brown? Stop it! Stop it!"
With a ferocious tenacity, Charlie Brown made his way down to Lucy's pantline. He began to take her skirt off, slowly... tenderly. By now, he had pinned Lucy down on the grass and was covering her mouth with his free hand.
For a brief moment, Charlie removed his hand from Lucy's mouth and turned around, as if he had noticed something nearby.
Lucy began to struggle out of his grip, but Charlie was surprisingly strong. Before long, he was back, with the football in his hands.
"I'm going to jam this football up your anus, Lucy, and then I'm going to jam my cock up there too and it's going to tear up your asshole and you're going to bleed!"
"NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!"
But it was too late. The football and Charlie's 10 inch goal post were already inside Lucy's anus. She began to bleed profusely. Her body was overcome with pain.
Lucy winced so hard, she was unable to open her eyes. When she finally regained her sight, Lucy saw Charlie's cock right in her face.
"AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO FINISH THE JOB!" He screamed with vigor.
His penis was more enormous than she had ever imagined. She could feel it cutting up across her teeth.
"GOOD GRIEF!" he ejaculated, both literally and figuratively.
Lucy quickly found herself drowning on Charlie's mancum. She could barely keep herself alive amidst his juicy serum of power.
Just when Lucy was sure she was going to die, Charlie pulled out and began to jizz all over Lucy's velvet black hair. Then held her face up, and gave her a horribly awkward open-mouth kiss, extracting the semen from his mouth to hers. Then he shoved her head on the ground.
Lucy couldn't get up. But she could hear Charlie Brown walking away. Could it be over?
Hardly. A moment later, she heard his footsteps rapidly approaching. Then, like a needle through her eye, Charlie Brown kicked Lucy's face, much like the very football that had caused this horrible pre-teen rape.
Lucy went unconscious. When she woke up, she found that her body had been covered with feces, probably Charlie Brown's. At closer inspection, she saw the words "Good Grief" had been written across her chest with the poop. She got up slowly and cried all the way home.
"What's wrong, older sister?" Linus asked her as she opened the door.
"I've just been raped... by Charlie Brown?"[/spoiler:a620dc46d3]
thegloaming on
0
thorgotthere is special providencein the fall of a sparrowRegistered Userregular
[spoiler:537fb3f315]"Who's there," asked Ron as he turned around sleepily. Ron had had a long, hard day yesterday cleaning broomsticks for the gryfindorr quiditch team.
"Hey ron," whispered Harry as he walked into the locker room. "I just wanted to thank your for doing such a good job on our broomsticks yesterday. You're smooth polishing has given them a special shine."
"I used a lot of wax, and my brothers have all taught me very well. We may be poor, and our broomsticks may not be the fastest ones out, but we take pride in our abilities."
While ron was talking harry was slowly slipping out of his quidditch robes. His smooth teenage body was rippliing with muscles, dripping with sweat, and raging with hormones. The way he'd seen ron work on all of the broomsticks had given him some ideas, and he looked in the magical closet for Mary's Magical Broomstick Wax.
"Ron, I was wondering if you might give me some pointers," harry asked, doing some pointing of his own.
"sure harry," ron sad as he turned around, and came face to face with harry's 8 inch long, rigid cock.
"to start you need a lot of spit and polish to get it really clean." Ron said as he got on his knees and spit into his hands.[/spoiler:537fb3f315]Gloaming's is full of win though.
[spoiler:e3e7be4997]“I… I just desperately want to be a mod,†said Captain K. “It’s what I’ve wanted ever since I joined the forums.â€
Alphamonkey crossed his leg seductively and sipped his coffee. “Well, I don’t know if you have the proper qualifications to be a mod. Perhaps you can… prove me wrong?†He eyed Captain K up and down.
Captain K sighed. This would be the eighth man he’d have intercourse this week and he hadn’t gotten the test results back. As much as he didn’t want to spread any STDs, he really wanted a mod position. “Well, I might be able to jail you if you know what I mean…†Captain K violently ripped off his jeans; shreds of denim flew in all directions, revealing a leopard print g-string.
Alphamonkey shoved all of his papers and official documents from the forums off of his desk. “Oh, you big hunk of man, I want you right here on my desk!†He grabbed Captain K by the shirt and pulled him onto the desk. Buttons flying in all directions, he tore open Captain K’s shirt.
Just then, The Geek entered Alphamonkey’s office with a file folder full of the most recent forum jailings. He saw Alphamonkey on his desk straddling Captain K and dropped his file folder. “No… I thought you were the one for me, Alphamonkey! Why would you throw away what we had for this… this…†The Geek trailed off as he realized the true beauty of Captain K. He smiled as he ripped off his pants, ready for a threesome.[/spoiler:e3e7be4997]
Buddy Lee on
Join Penny-Arcaders in EPL Fantasy Futbol! Click to see details.
Mine kind of pales in comparison to K's and gloamings but there's a couple parts I think are pretty funny.
[spoiler:fadbca7d2d]Boromir slipped his breeches down towards his ankles as he watched the hobbits bathe. Licking his lips as he leaned forward, crouching low in the grass.. eyes squinting as he attempts to make out every detail. Sam and Frodo have their backs to him, standing thigh deep in the shallows of the lake. Boromir takes his stiffening member in his hand as he sees that they are naked. "Yesss..." he groans, begining to stroke himself.. yearning for them to turn around. As if hearing his silent wish, Frodo turns towards him, presenting his back to Sam for washing.. Boromir gasps as Frodo's cock comes into view, he sees that its entire length is covered in a thick coarse fur, much like the hobbits feet, and oh the size! It's easily equal in length to Boromir's own formidable tool, it seems almost impossibly large on the tiny frame of the heroic ring bearer. Boromir groans as his fist pumps with increasing power and speed, the sight before him too much him to bear, spurting forth his seed with all the power his horn of gondor can muster, and he collapses, exhausted.[/spoiler:fadbca7d2d]
Posts
:^: :^: :^:
fucking gold
Fortytwo's blog about fatherhood, life, and everything.
It gets more attention that way!
Secret Satan
can I join?
not the attention you want
jail time
Edit: Bah, I fixed it for you ran.
Secret Satan
Ooo use me.
Im bored and crave attention!
Fortytwo's blog about fatherhood, life, and everything.
but oh my god it's so fucking funny
it has to be a dude
"What ever do you mean?" she replied.
"Everytime I try to kick the football, you always pull it away at the last minute and I end up falling down and hurting myself," he explained to her. "I'm not going to fall for your tricks any more!"
"Charlie Brown, do you honestly think I'm some sort of a bully? Why would I want to do such a thing to one of my closest friends?" Lucy replied, batting her eyelashes in a flirtatious manner.
"I'm not falling for it!" he yelled, and started to walk away from the field.
"If you kick it into the goal post, I'll suck your cock." Lucy muttered under her breath, after a few moments of silence.
Charlie Brown turned around, a curious expression now enmeshed in his face. "What did you say?"
"I said, if you kick it into the goal post, I'll suck your cock," she repeated.
"You're lying." Charlie Brown sighed, as he started to turn back around.
"Wait!" she yelled back, "I really mean it Charlie Brown! I've always wanted to do it!"
Ever slowly, Charlie Brown turned his head, and began to stare intently into Lucy's silky blue eyes. "You have?"
"Yes..." she whispered. "Ever since I met you, I've wanted my lucious lips around your throbbing cock. Linus told me that he saw it when you were going to the bathroom. He said it was bigger than his blanket. Ever since that day, I knew I had to have your cock in my mouth."
Charlie Brown blushed, "Well, I suppose if you want to... I can give it a shot."
"Great!" Lucy exclaimed, as she placed the football down on the grass. "I'm ready when you are."
"If you score big, you're going to get your cock sucked," Charlie Brown thought to himself, "This is just the sort of thing I've been waiting for. I can't fail!"
Lucy smiled sexily at Charlie Brown. "I'm looking forward to sticking your cock deep into my throat."
Charlie Brown began to sweat profusely, but he knew what he had to do. He closed his eyes for a moment, then he took the shot.
But something went wrong. Where his foot should have met the ball, it encountered only air. From the corner of his eye, he could see Lucy's careful hands remove the ball from it's position. He had been had.
The pain was immense. His back spasmed violently and a loud ringing emitted from his ears. As the ringing subsided, he could hear Lucy's cruel laughter. She was pointing at him in disgust.
"That bitch," he thought, "She did it again! This time I'm NOT going to let her get away with her misdeeds!"
Lucy continued to laugh, unaware of the brooding figure approaching her. It was Charlie Brown, and his face conveyed a furious expression.
Her laughter began to subside, "Charlie Brown! You're so foolish!"
He didn't speak a word.
"Oh, come on Charlie Brown. Did you honestly think that I was going to suck your cock? I'm the most popular and prettiest girl in school. And you... you're just a loser."
"Well this time, this loser is gonna score. BIG TIME!" Charlie Brown roared as he placed his hands on Lucy's shoulders.
Lucy became uneasy, "What are you doing, Charlie?"
"I'm raping you, you lying bitch!" Charlie Brown explained calmly, as he began to ravage Lucy's blue blouse. In seconds, it was torn off completely, revealing her bra-less breasts. They were small, yet supple. Charlie began to carress them harshly, Lucy began to scream.
"Aaaaaa! What are you doing to me, Charlie Brown? Stop it! Stop it!"
With a ferocious tenacity, Charlie Brown made his way down to Lucy's pantline. He began to take her skirt off, slowly... tenderly. By now, he had pinned Lucy down on the grass and was covering her mouth with his free hand.
For a brief moment, Charlie removed his hand from Lucy's mouth and turned around, as if he had noticed something nearby.
Lucy began to struggle out of his grip, but Charlie was surprisingly strong. Before long, he was back, with the football in his hands.
"I'm going to jam this football up your anus, Lucy, and then I'm going to jam my cock up there too and it's going to tear up your asshole and you're going to bleed!"
"NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!"
But it was too late. The football and Charlie's 10 inch goal post were already inside Lucy's anus. She began to bleed profusely. Her body was overcome with pain.
Lucy winced so hard, she was unable to open her eyes. When she finally regained her sight, Lucy saw Charlie's cock right in her face.
"AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO FINISH THE JOB!" He screamed with vigor.
His penis was more enormous than she had ever imagined. She could feel it cutting up across her teeth.
"GOOD GRIEF!" he ejaculated, both literally and figuratively.
Lucy quickly found herself drowning on Charlie's mancum. She could barely keep herself alive amidst his juicy serum of power.
Just when Lucy was sure she was going to die, Charlie pulled out and began to jizz all over Lucy's velvet black hair. Then held her face up, and gave her a horribly awkward open-mouth kiss, extracting the semen from his mouth to hers. Then he shoved her head on the ground.
Lucy couldn't get up. But she could hear Charlie Brown walking away. Could it be over?
Hardly. A moment later, she heard his footsteps rapidly approaching. Then, like a needle through her eye, Charlie Brown kicked Lucy's face, much like the very football that had caused this horrible pre-teen rape.
Lucy went unconscious. When she woke up, she found that her body had been covered with feces, probably Charlie Brown's. At closer inspection, she saw the words "Good Grief" had been written across her chest with the poop. She got up slowly and cried all the way home.
"What's wrong, older sister?" Linus asked her as she opened the door.
"I've just been raped... by Charlie Brown?"[/spoiler:a620dc46d3]
Secret Satan
also, JESUS FUCK GLOAMING
Tynic is also one of my favorite posters, and her comic is equally awesome
that's a lot of my name but thxu
I forgot to tell you, K. I finally got real internet so I'm gonna load up Steam and get back in game with you cats!! I'm hella excited
This is one of my favorite images
"Hey ron," whispered Harry as he walked into the locker room. "I just wanted to thank your for doing such a good job on our broomsticks yesterday. You're smooth polishing has given them a special shine."
"I used a lot of wax, and my brothers have all taught me very well. We may be poor, and our broomsticks may not be the fastest ones out, but we take pride in our abilities."
While ron was talking harry was slowly slipping out of his quidditch robes. His smooth teenage body was rippliing with muscles, dripping with sweat, and raging with hormones. The way he'd seen ron work on all of the broomsticks had given him some ideas, and he looked in the magical closet for Mary's Magical Broomstick Wax.
"Ron, I was wondering if you might give me some pointers," harry asked, doing some pointing of his own.
"sure harry," ron sad as he turned around, and came face to face with harry's 8 inch long, rigid cock.
"to start you need a lot of spit and polish to get it really clean." Ron said as he got on his knees and spit into his hands.[/spoiler:537fb3f315]Gloaming's is full of win though.
I am the queen of france
Alphamonkey crossed his leg seductively and sipped his coffee. “Well, I don’t know if you have the proper qualifications to be a mod. Perhaps you can… prove me wrong?†He eyed Captain K up and down.
Captain K sighed. This would be the eighth man he’d have intercourse this week and he hadn’t gotten the test results back. As much as he didn’t want to spread any STDs, he really wanted a mod position. “Well, I might be able to jail you if you know what I mean…†Captain K violently ripped off his jeans; shreds of denim flew in all directions, revealing a leopard print g-string.
Alphamonkey shoved all of his papers and official documents from the forums off of his desk. “Oh, you big hunk of man, I want you right here on my desk!†He grabbed Captain K by the shirt and pulled him onto the desk. Buttons flying in all directions, he tore open Captain K’s shirt.
Just then, The Geek entered Alphamonkey’s office with a file folder full of the most recent forum jailings. He saw Alphamonkey on his desk straddling Captain K and dropped his file folder. “No… I thought you were the one for me, Alphamonkey! Why would you throw away what we had for this… this…†The Geek trailed off as he realized the true beauty of Captain K. He smiled as he ripped off his pants, ready for a threesome.[/spoiler:e3e7be4997]
http://fantasy.premierleague.com/my-leagues/
The join code for the CLASSIC league: 214755-65927
The join code for the HEAD-TO-HEAD league: 5294-3346
I'm my biggest fan.
As you probably gathered from the story.
Secret Satan
btw thx
No no man, i am a BANANA.
[spoiler:fadbca7d2d]Boromir slipped his breeches down towards his ankles as he watched the hobbits bathe. Licking his lips as he leaned forward, crouching low in the grass.. eyes squinting as he attempts to make out every detail. Sam and Frodo have their backs to him, standing thigh deep in the shallows of the lake. Boromir takes his stiffening member in his hand as he sees that they are naked. "Yesss..." he groans, begining to stroke himself.. yearning for them to turn around. As if hearing his silent wish, Frodo turns towards him, presenting his back to Sam for washing.. Boromir gasps as Frodo's cock comes into view, he sees that its entire length is covered in a thick coarse fur, much like the hobbits feet, and oh the size! It's easily equal in length to Boromir's own formidable tool, it seems almost impossibly large on the tiny frame of the heroic ring bearer. Boromir groans as his fist pumps with increasing power and speed, the sight before him too much him to bear, spurting forth his seed with all the power his horn of gondor can muster, and he collapses, exhausted.[/spoiler:fadbca7d2d]
is not my favorite forumer.
Sweet jesus!
god damn
I try and I try
and for what?
how much cock must I gobble before I am vindicated and validated by the praises of internet strangers?
but, really, i am the best forumer