Non-refundable Airline Tickets

Kane Red Robe

Argh, I'm at my wits end here, so maybe you guys can help me out.

My mother purchased tickets for me and a friend of mine to fly out and take a week's vacation for my birthday; however, she didn't really confer with me or said friend in doing so and my birthday is in October, sort of an awkward time to take a week off from school. My friend, who just got into nursing school, adamantly refuses to go during the week the tickets are slated for, and quite frankly, I don't really blame him.

Unfortunately, the tickets can't be refunded, can't be given to someone else (so I could take someone else, say), and the date is coming up quick. I could, theoretically, go by myself, but I'm not really the type of person to enjoy being in a strange environment for a week alone.

I called the airline (American Airlines) and switching to a more convenient date (say, early January) is going to cost somewhere in the range of $300. I can afford to do that, but I can also think of about 12 things I would rather spend three hundred dollars on. Unfortunately, my mother is dead set on me taking this trip, and has been rather on both my, and my friends case about resolving this. Given the amount of stress this trip is causing me thus far, I'm really tempted to just forget the whole thing, but I get the feeling my mother wouldn't be terribly pleased.

Help?

Ketar

You really don't have any other options here - pay the $300 to change dates, travel by yourself, or eat the tickets. You just need to decide whether it's worth $300 to you to avoid whatever hurt feelings and whatever else you'd have to deal with from your mother if you don't travel at all.

Inquisitor77

1. Your mother is either an idiot or incredibly inconsiderate. No, I take that back. It's not an either/or proposition. She's definitely both.

2. As with any gift, it is your prerogative whether or not to use it. If your mother is pressuring you to take a trip you don't want to go on, mostly due to her own inability to see how incredibly stupid it would be to buy plane tickets for someone else without conferring with them, then that's her fault, not yours. Being a decent person, you may feel guilt that she spent all that money to get you the tickets, and you aren't using them, but the truth is, you shouldn't feel any guilt whatsoever.

3. If she continues to make your life miserable, give her the gift back, and tell her that you do not want a gift from her if it comes with the sort of guilt and stress she is directly causing. Also ask her why she would give you a gift under the pretense of doing something "for you" if it's costing you so much to use it (both emotionally and financially).


Seriously, she just bought the tickets? Is she paying for anything else on the trip? Did she ask about your schedule? Or whom you would like to take along with you, and their schedules?

Beyond sheer idiocy, there is another aspect of this which I find pretty irritating, and that's the fact that now you need to spend $300 of your own money to use the gift. That means you're now spending $300 you didn't plan on spending before (not including the cost of the rest of the trip itself, assuming she isn't paying for that). These types of gifts pretty much mandate that you discuss them with the recipient prior to giving them. Otherwise, you're just being incredibly rude and imposing.

Granted, your mother probably thought she was doing something nice for you, and since she's not my mommy I feel no compunction against calling her out for how lame this gift is. But you may want to take a more diplomatic approach, tell her that the scheduling is becoming too difficult, that you very much appreciate her gift, and that you and your friends are now discussing whether or not the $300 per person still makes the trip worth taking. Whether or not you want to point out to her how stupid her decision was, how much stress it's causing you, and how she may very well be abusing how the whole concept of gift giving is supposed to work by using it to guilt you into doing something you no longer desire to do, is entirely up to you.

Dunadan019

why don't you ask your mother to pay the 300 dollars to change the date as a christmas present or something?