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Horrible Movies the Thread

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    FreddyDFreddyD Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    AJR wrote:
    BloodRayne.
    Michael Madsen was hilarious in that movie.

    FreddyD on
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    Spaten OptimatorSpaten Optimator Smooth Operator Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Prohass wrote:
    If you've seen Cabin Fever then Hostel is a lot easier to appreciate. I dont see how its a horrible movie, like at all, unless you just dont like horrors. I mean, at the very least it was nothing like what i expected. I dunno, im a sucker for it.

    Hostel sucked. Typically, a horror movie gets one to empathize with the protagonist either through a) really stupid, annoying victims you want to see brutalized or b) plucky, less stupid victims who you want to live. In this case, the main characters were just poorly written. I just didn't care what happened to them; it was obvious the plot was just a loosely strung together set of uncomfortable moments. I liked Cabin Fever for what it was, but Hostel was just terrible.

    Spaten Optimator on
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    The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Thing about Hostel, I loved Cabin Fever.

    It may be my unnatural obsession with Boy Meets World that made me see it, but I genuinely loved that movie.

    But Hostel. Eh. Not so good. I mean, I don't think it is one of the worst movies I have ever seen, but it does not stack up with Cabin Fever in my opinion.

    Also, that was Claymation in The Life Aquatic? If so, I very much so appreciate it. Nice claymation. Very nice. I take back that negative comment.

    I am tempted to see The Science of Sleep, but I absolutely abhor the new trend of OMG QUIRKY that seems to ooze into film characters ala You, Me and Everyone We Know and Garden State. I just hate it. So, if that was the case, I'd be inclined to dislike it.

    As for Silent Hill, I really liked the movie visually as it was very unnerving to the eye, then the characters would speak and it would be godawful. It reminded me of the shit I'd watch late night on USA with Joe Bob Briggs.

    The Lovely Bastard on
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    xeroismygodxeroismygod Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    I would like to mention

    The Black Dahlia, holy fuck did I waste my time. :x

    xeroismygod on
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    MendozaMendoza Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    The Incredibles

    Mendoza on
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    ProhassProhass Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Die Mendoza

    I dont know the consensus on this, but Fearless made me fall asleep, and when I woke up I was annoyed it wasnt over. If someone says "the fight sequences were good!" im gonna punch them in the testicles. It was lame and annoying, and Im a big fan of most films out of China, this one was just abysmal and amateurish. Put it next to Shanghai Nights and I wouldnt be able to tell the difference, except one would make me smile occasionally.

    Prohass on
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    xeroismygodxeroismygod Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Prohass wrote:
    Die Mendoza

    I dont know the consensus on this, but Fearless made me fall asleep, and when I woke up I was annoyed it wasnt over. If someone says "the fight sequences were good!" im gonna punch them in the testicles. It was lame and annoying, and Im a big fan of most films out of China, this one was just arrogant. Put it next to Shanghai Nights and I wouldnt be able to tell the difference, except one would make me smile occasionally.

    Yes, it was pretty stupid.

    xeroismygod on
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    Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Silent hill was like masturbating for 2 hours and never cumming. It was a giant blueball.

    Filler Inc. on
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    TheBlackWindTheBlackWind Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Prohass wrote:
    If you've seen Cabin Fever then Hostel is a lot easier to appreciate. I dont see how its a horrible movie, like at all, unless you just dont like horrors. I mean, at the very least it was nothing like what i expected. I dunno, im a sucker for it.

    Hostel sucked. Typically, a horror movie gets one to empathize with the protagonist either through a) really stupid, annoying victims you want to see brutalized or b) plucky, less stupid victims who you want to live. In this case, the main characters were just poorly written. I just didn't care what happened to them; it was obvious the plot was just a loosely strung together set of uncomfortable moments. I liked Cabin Fever for what it was, but Hostel was just terrible.
    This is what I was trying to say, only much more eloquent. THanks. :D

    TheBlackWind on
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    ProhassProhass Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    I pretty much enjoyed it for the second half, and I dont even remember the main characters faces, so yeah I didnt care about them, but I guess I was in it for the atmosphere. Plus I loved the freaky eastern europe setting. But I can see why you wouldnt enjoy it if you were after more, I just cant see it as a 'horrible' film, average at worst.

    Prohass on
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    Filler Inc.Filler Inc. Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Hills have eyes.

    The movie sucked, but the parts where the liberal guy starts kicking mutant ass was pretty cool.

    Filler Inc. on
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    ProhassProhass Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Thats basically the same reason I enjoyed Hostel, the payback. So any movie I garner some enjoyment from, on any level, I dont deem horrible. But it is a pretty weird element to appreciate, especially if you dont enjoy the film on some other level, and have to suffer through everything else.

    Prohass on
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited December 2006
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited December 2006
    I tore a hole in my pants picking up a box today, and now my penis keeps poking out of the hole, even though it is disguised in a mask made of my boxers.

    Rankenphile on
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited December 2006
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited December 2006
    On the plus side, I can just reach right up there and adjust the ol' wedding tackle with a hook of a finger and a waggle.

    But I can think of a number of situations where my penis poking out of my pants like this would be a considerable disadvantage.

    Rankenphile on
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited December 2006
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited December 2006
    That was pretty like a poem.

    I'm going to write that down.

    Rankenphile on
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited December 2006
    shut up and add my wii code you little faggo... I mean you little princess you.

    Rankenphile on
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    TheBlackWindTheBlackWind Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Prohass wrote:
    Thats basically the same reason I enjoyed Hostel, the payback. So any movie I garner some enjoyment from, on any level, I dont deem horrible. But it is a pretty weird element to appreciate, especially if you dont enjoy the film on some other level, and have to suffer through everything else.
    that payback scene was what totally blew the movie for me. The whole first half, the main characters act like douchebags. then they go through all the traumatizing stuff. When he finally has a chance to just get away forever, he goes and risks more possible harm over a little payback. The main character had no redeeming quialities, to the point where I actually wish he would have died.

    TheBlackWind on
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    JAEFJAEF Unstoppably Bald Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    The Descent. I had to walk out of the theater. Good thing I didn't pay to see it.

    [spoiler:a152d51a37]FUCKING MURLOCS? ARE YOU SHITTING ME HOLLYWOOD?[/spoiler:a152d51a37]

    JAEF on
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator Mod Emeritus
    edited December 2006
    JAEF wrote:
    The Descent. I had to walk out of the theater. Good thing I didn't pay to see it.

    [spoiler:3bf1db2fec]FUCKING MURLOCS? ARE YOU SHITTING ME HOLLYWOOD?[/spoiler:3bf1db2fec]

    the monsters are murlocs?

    hahahaha

    seriously?

    Knob on
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited December 2006
    oh man there it goes again

    just all bloop oh hello there penis how are you doing down there

    Rankenphile on
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited December 2006
    it sort of reminds me of that worm from sesame street

    what's his name

    not lowly, that was the Richard Scarey worm

    but what's his face

    that worm from Sesame Street

    except he's wearing my boxers like a mask

    and sesame street is my pants

    Rankenphile on
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    autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Knob wrote:
    JAEF wrote:
    The Descent. I had to walk out of the theater. Good thing I didn't pay to see it.

    [spoiler:5ce1fc4157]FUCKING MURLOCS? ARE YOU SHITTING ME HOLLYWOOD?[/spoiler:5ce1fc4157]

    the monsters are murlocs?

    hahahaha

    seriously?
    that would be the best thing ever.

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
    kFJhXwE.jpgkFJhXwE.jpg
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    ProhassProhass Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    I read your sig first, so that comment was really crazy, more so.

    Prohass on
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited December 2006
    wally

    picards nose

    much bigger now

    I had not noticed it before, but it may have been like that for a hog's age

    but it made me laugh out loud just now

    which made my cat look up at me like I was crazy

    Rankenphile on
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    Riggs BlitzkriegRiggs Blitzkrieg Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Fangoria254.jpg

    Riggs Blitzkrieg on
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    JAEFJAEF Unstoppably Bald Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Knob wrote:
    JAEF wrote:
    The Descent. I had to walk out of the theater. Good thing I didn't pay to see it.

    [spoiler:af10a0b8f2]FUCKING MURLOCS? ARE YOU SHITTING ME HOLLYWOOD?[/spoiler:af10a0b8f2]

    the monsters are murlocs?

    hahahaha

    seriously?
    Here's a quick rundown on the events of the movie:

    We're a happy family, la la la. OH SHIT FRONTAL COLLISION BECAUSE I'M A RETARDED HUSBAND! For some reason the car we hit had giant metal poles strapped extremely loosely to its roof?!?!?!? What the fuck? One goes through the windshield and spears the husband and daughter.

    Oh hey I'm the wife recovering from the loss of my husband, let's go spelunking because we're 8 ladies and totally woman power and stuff.

    Hey I'm a wild Asian lady and instead of doing the boring spelunking in the charted cave I took us to a random hole in the ground I discovered yesterday and didn't tell the spelunking association so that no one will ever look for us and we'll die alone.

    Oh hey cave-in behind us, let's try and find a way out. You know what, let's just get totally owned in the face by these Murlocs that have been living in this cave system for hundreds of years, so that JAEF can walk out of the theater. Also vague psychotic episodes for main wife character something something.

    Fuck that fucking movie.

    JAEF on
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    ProhassProhass Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Pretty much any movie sounds bad if you describe it in that tone. I would say its overrated

    Prohass on
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    autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    are there lesbian scenes?

    rank: <3

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
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    ProhassProhass Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Kinda, she accidently hits her friend in the face with an axe or something. Which is almost as good.

    Prohass on
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    JAEFJAEF Unstoppably Bald Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Prohass wrote:
    Pretty much any movie sounds bad if you describe it in that tone. I would say its overrated
    No. No no no no no. They are murlocs. I really don't think you understand.

    And she accidentally swings a pickaxe through her friend's neck. That was pretty funny. I just wanted them all to die as fast as possible.

    JAEF on
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited December 2006
    are there lesbian scenes?

    rank: <3

    he just looks like he is going haaaawwwwwwwwnk

    like when barbara streisand cries

    Rankenphile on
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    xeroismygodxeroismygod Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    JAEF wrote:
    Prohass wrote:
    Pretty much any movie sounds bad if you describe it in that tone. I would say its overrated
    No. No no no no no. They are murlocs. I really don't think you understand.

    And she accidentally swings a pickaxe through her friend's neck. That was pretty funny. I just wanted them all to die as fast as possible.

    She didn't watch her agro. Yeah that movie was hard to sit through. Now if it was some sort of killer non humanoid ala alien I would have liked it better.

    xeroismygod on
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    ProhassProhass Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    I saw it with a girl and wasnt paying attention but all i remember is it being really short and kinda boring. The violence was intense and well filmed, but it just was average and underwhelming. In these kinds of movies it always baffles me why they dont make the 4 or 5 main scare shots, ah, scarier. Like they seem to do one take and thats the one you see, like its being edited before your eyes. No consideration is given to the way you can frame or capture just a simple thing (even a murloc) to make it freaky.

    The murloc thingies were gross looking and tenacious, but thats about it. It dissapointed me after I heard all this "BETTER THAN ALIEN!!!" crap from reviewers, its not about making a monster look scary, its about shooting it just right. Modern 'creature' horrors seem to have forgotten this.

    Prohass on
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] new member
    edited December 2006
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

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    xeroismygodxeroismygod Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    oh i thought you meant murlock like from the time machine

    Thats a morlock dear.

    xeroismygod on
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    joshgotrojoshgotro Deviled Egg The Land of REAL CHILIRegistered User regular
    edited December 2006
    oh i thought you meant murlock like from the time machine
    ewww

    joshgotro on
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    autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    murloc as in
    murloc-new-race.jpg

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
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