A friend of the family making promises of a new life and jobs for my parents (we were very poor before. well, we still are, his claims were bullshit)
We are planning on moving back, which is good. I have bitchin' friends and a bitchin' metal band waiting for me there.
Oh I see. That's definitely worth going back for. I didn't live in UT for too long, which is why I don't have a lot of connections. Good luck getting back then.
Specific Reasons to Honor our Shareware Agreement for Various Faiths
Christians: Thou shalt not steal. We understand that this is one of the Ten Commandments, applicable to both Christians and Jews. To violate this commandment is a mortal sin. You might go to hell for that, unless you're Catholic, in which case there is the possibility of Purgatory. Purgatory is a lot like Barstow, California: hot, boring, full of decrepit trailers. Enough said.
Jews: See above. Please be a mensch not a putz.
Hindus: Instant Karma's gonna get you if you do not honor our shareware accord. You will reincarnate as a bacon double-cheeseburger eaten by a hillbilly. He will bite into your cooked flesh with bad teeth while he fantasizes about his cousin's bodacious Ta-Ta's. Remember, despite his many nimble arms, Ganesh was not a thief. Please follow his example.
Moslems: There is one god, Allah, and Mohammed is his prophet. Mohammed did not steal. Why should you?
Buddhists: The bad karma accumulated by theft will, at minimum, delay your Enlightenment. Do you want to reincarnate as a hell being or hungry ghost?
Agnostics: There may or may not be a God monitoring your conduct. Why risk it?
Atheists: Ok, so you believe that there is no God. You believe that man is a wise animal and should be judged by the sum of his actions and words. How do you want to be remembered: as a thieving dung-flinging monkey or as an honorable monkey like Dr. Zaius?
Paranoid people: We know where you live. And since you visited our site, we now know every site you visited before this one. Yes, we have your cookies, pervert. All we have learned about you will remain secret, as long as your honor our deal.
Meanwhile, modern society teaches us to use any and all possible means to further ourselves with resources, and to grasp at anything to gain an advantage over your peers. The only thing to temper this is the rule of don't get caught, or use legal weaseling to get out of it if you are caught.
can i just use a ziploc bag when i have sex with another man? Because condoms nowadays are way too expensive, so im like thinkin, ziploc claims to be unbreakable, and it zips up nice and snug around my nards. they caress me tenderly, but do they still give maximum protection while giving me maximum pleasure?
ugandadick on
free blowjobs at superstore, thanks to pablo the penguin.
can i just use a ziploc bag when i have sex with another man? Because condoms nowadays are way too expensive, so im like thinkin, ziploc claims to be unbreakable, and it zips up nice and snug around my nards. they caress me tenderly, but do they still give maximum protection while giving me maximum pleasure?
A friend of the family making promises of a new life and jobs for my parents (we were very poor before. well, we still are, his claims were bullshit)
We are planning on moving back, which is good. I have bitchin' friends and a bitchin' metal band waiting for me there.
Oh I see. That's definitely worth going back for. I didn't live in UT for too long, which is why I don't have a lot of connections. Good luck getting back then.
You know, Utah is quite lovely if you aren't Mormon.
We have this friend, Greg, who is a 'greaser' I suppose. People look at him really funny most of the time. But I would say that for Salt Lake City, you look pretty normal.
We have this friend, Greg, who is a 'greaser' I suppose. People look at him really funny most of the time. But I would say that for Salt Lake City, you look pretty normal.
Become a mod just to fuck with his head.
Then the universe will implode because no one has been a greaser since 1964.
Maybe he has one of those bicycles that is covered in boxes and stuff to try and make it look more like a motorcycle. Those things are almost too hip, mang.
Posts
Secret Satan
She broke up with me THEN told me she was carrying my little Satan baby.
We thought that she couldn't even have kids.
Meh, go figure.
pWn3d!11oneone
don't worry, it's not yours.
Legalize Abortion!
Pregnancy is a jewish conspiracy!
Phew!
Time to go have some unprotected sex with 14 year olds!
wait I thought your girlfriend broke up with you?
Legalize Abortion!
Pregnancy is a jewish conspiracy!
She claims she wasn't happy and that she could never trust me and then she said it was over, all over the phone.
Then we hung up and she called back a few minutes later and said she was pregnant.
Meh, whatev.
Two things will happen now:
Well get back together in a few days/a week and possibly work it out.
OR
She'll have a baby and rest of her shitty life with be ruined.
Happy New Year!
Legalize Abortion!
Pregnancy is a jewish conspiracy!
Abort!
I love America.
Legalize Abortion!
Pregnancy is a jewish conspiracy!
You are a true hero among men.
Meh, I'm just going to sleep on it and if she comes back great and if not, then she can die.
In a fire.
Gold.
It's fucking hard to get one in South Dakota. Especially if you want it to, ya know, not be done in an alley.
JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
ai ees fheel burn in mah peetr...
gais?????
Wut shud ai do?
gais? help meeeeeeeeeee
My GF hates the latex ones.
They don't seem to carry them at RiteAid
Tossrock: Somolia, you know Mogadishu, Blackhawk down?
Qorzm: I'm sorry, I don't follow hip-hop
I dunno I am not Mormon.
they ain't got a Lover's Package or a Hot Spot or a Dick's Hairy Sweatstain Parlour of Manfist in your area?
Havent been to church in a while
Tossrock: Somolia, you know Mogadishu, Blackhawk down?
Qorzm: I'm sorry, I don't follow hip-hop
The actions of my Mormon family and the random dudes who give me weird looks on the train probably confirm that.
I don't look THAT weird.
Also
Tossrock: Somolia, you know Mogadishu, Blackhawk down?
Qorzm: I'm sorry, I don't follow hip-hop
We have this friend, Greg, who is a 'greaser' I suppose. People look at him really funny most of the time. But I would say that for Salt Lake City, you look pretty normal.
Is this thread about fucking, Mormons, or the rare topic Mormons that fuck (and the women that fuck them)?
Either way I know I want in and will touch myself as I read it.
Then the universe will implode because no one has been a greaser since 1964.
That is what those people ride.
Blackjack this guy and hide his leather jacket until he gives in and at least retires his pompador. Don't give it back for anything less.
HAY GUYS I HAD SEX LOL