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I just want you guys to know that I art
srsizzy
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Dear unlikely but not impossible creep of the future: if by some chance you discovered this ancient forum handle because I so foolishly used it for many years, and you know me in some other context and perhaps think to get to know me in yet another here, let the following be known: this particular thread is a relic that lasts in my memory still and probably will for decades. It is a moment where I broke down quite miserably and publicly on the internet. It's filled with the anger and frustration and confusion of a 19-year-old kid in college who had failed to make friends for 2 years and had yet to be humbled by life. In the decade past this (and now I'm back again at age 33 to recall just how bad it was), I considered coming to this account and just deleting every single post because of what a little shithead I was as a teenager. The amount of time that would take me isn't worth it. This was me, I can't deny it or change it, I was a really angry person struggling with how to be himself in the world (I've since learned that some of us simply can't be ourselves in the world, only with a small collection of close friends, but being a huge asshole to strangers isn't going to help). Oh well. Enjoy, sickos.
LAST DUMP THREAD, THE TITLE OF WHICH I CANNOT CHAAAANGE
Uh, anyways. I'm in a drawing class. All I have is the camera on my cellphone. I normally type too much, so you know, here it is. I know none of it is really "finished work," but I don't want to fill the doodle thread, and as always I hope I will have some finished work, I mean, I will because I'm in a class that will require it hopefully.
Class session drawings (oldest to newest). The teacher just says "Here's this thing, draw it." (1.5 - 2 hour classes; first one below is like 30 minutes though)
oh, forgot to mention: these first ones are all like 18x24, and the last ones are all 8.5x11
by the way, I f*ing hate charcoal.
Then this is what I drew this summer (I may have posted some of these already? Definitely the ones for the contest I did):
I know the fingers are broken on this one.
First drawing from life; these are mostly all my kneaded eraser.
dicking around with an exaggerated figure; also, first "environment" I've ever attempted.
attempt at DeathChalupa's style (plus lame sharpness artifacts!)
attempt at Iruka's style
Thank you for your time. Will update with bigger class assignments as they come along.
LAST DUMP THREAD, THE TITLE OF WHICH I CANNOT CHAAAANGE
Uh, anyways. I'm in a drawing class. All I have is the camera on my cellphone. I normally type too much, so you know, here it is. I know none of it is really "finished work," but I don't want to fill the doodle thread, and as always I hope I will have some finished work, I mean, I will because I'm in a class that will require it hopefully.
Class session drawings (oldest to newest). The teacher just says "Here's this thing, draw it." (1.5 - 2 hour classes; first one below is like 30 minutes though)
oh, forgot to mention: these first ones are all like 18x24, and the last ones are all 8.5x11
by the way, I f*ing hate charcoal.
Then this is what I drew this summer (I may have posted some of these already? Definitely the ones for the contest I did):
I know the fingers are broken on this one.
First drawing from life; these are mostly all my kneaded eraser.
dicking around with an exaggerated figure; also, first "environment" I've ever attempted.
attempt at DeathChalupa's style (plus lame sharpness artifacts!)
attempt at Iruka's style
Thank you for your time. Will update with bigger class assignments as they come along.
BRO LET ME GET REAL WITH YOU AND SAY THAT MY FINGERS ARE PREPPED AND HOT LIKE THE SURFACE OF THE SUN TO BRING RADICAL BEATS SO SMOOTH THE SHIT WILL BE MEDICINAL-GRADE TRIPNASTY MAKING ALL BRAINWAVES ROLL ON THE SURFACE OF A BALLS-FEISTY NEURAL RAINBOW CRACKA-LACKIN' YOUR PERCEPTION OF THE HERE-NOW SPACE-TIME SITUATION THAT ALL OF LIFE BE JAMMED UP IN THROUGH THE UNIVERSAL FLOW BEATS
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I plan on making money from working in the film industry. everything else I do (draw, write, make music) I do for "fun," I guess, but I do it because I feel an intense desire to do it, and I seriously want to get better at it. I know exactly what you're trying to criticize Loom, because you're at artelier, but no, I am not going to draw for more than a few hours a week, because I have other things to do, like school work, a job, and trying to get into my actual career.
even though I love art, I don't see being a career artist ever being an option because, no, I don't care enough to dedicate myself to one thing. I would love to be at an art school only doing art for a while, though.
why else do we do things other than because they're fun, Loom?
[edit] Also, here's the most recent version of this. I really just need to sit down and finish it. I wish I hadn't done it at such a low resolution though.
and with the above image in mind, I'm putting it on my list of assignments to finish that, and then to start something on the similar track (drawing lines and then coloring them).
Sizzy... what exactly would you like criticism on? The generic .. you need to do this more frequently really seems to apply here. It might helped if you picked one aspect of drawing and focused on doing studies of it..
For example that shoe drawing.. you just kindve colored at it with a pencil.. none of the tone you added is really helping to describe form and the way you are using your line isnt doing much for the drawing either..
The drapery study is the most promising but it also seems to be slightly torn between a drawing focused on form and a drawing focused more on tonal relationships..
I dunno though some of this might be going above the amount of effort you are willing to put forth. Hope some of the rambling helped. I also agree with doing it because it is fun. Took me a while to realize I could have fun doing studies to get better too..
it's kind of difficult for me because I depend so much on lines whenever I draw, and this is the first time I've ever used charcoal, so I keep getting caught between whether it's productive to approach it from the values or from the form, and I don't even know how to approach the values without sketching the form, and my perfectionism takes over whenever things aren't proportioned perfectly, so that throws me off too.
the shoe is actually charcoal, and I was in shade outside, so there was no direction of light. that one was the most difficult I had to do. I don't know how I could make it look more three-dimensional without just making things up. for the most part I drew what I saw.
the drapery is the best because it's in pencil, which I know how to deal with, but I again got caught up on details, and it was such a huge piece of cloth (bed sheet) that I didn't know whether to try to get the whole thing down roughly or just render what I could in the time I had.
it's not above the amount of effort I'm willing to put forth, I just have no direction in how to put forth the effort. my issue basically is: I don't know how to draw an object without making a completely finished outline of it, and then I have difficulty approaching the tones once that's down because charcoal is so hard to work with.
so I guess I'm looking for advice on how to even go about doing still-life. I don't know if it's normal to be able to keep a picture of something in your head when you look away from it, but I pretty much can't do that. I don't know if that just makes me not an artist, or I haven't worked at it enough. marking out an object's proportions is a huge weakness of mine, and I often get totally stuck on just that aspect.
I feel like these exercises have just been trying to figure out ways to make the charcoal do what I need it to do. for instance, that object in the background on the right is supposed to be a cantaloupe. I'm sorry, but how do you even begin to draw cantaloupe skin with vine charcoal on newsprint?
I hope we move on from charcoal soon.
30 minute portrait, 10 minute figure (pencil), 15 minute, 30 minute, 15 minute
I know these are pretty bad; for the record, this lady had ridiculous breasts and I hate breasts. more seriously: I really don't know how to handle charcoal and I'm overcoming a huge crutch of erasing a lot more than I can with this stuff. But, you know, these are the first times I've sat and done this stuff from life, so I'm not going to feel that terrible about it.
everything I know about figure drawing I'm trying to gain from other people's drawings around here. my "professor" honestly is teaching us nothing. this is not a class, it is an opportunity to draw.
outcome of forcing myself to doodle through an episode of Heroes
anyways, you can't see any of these images, and that is the sum result of me being despised by many members of this board, including a moderator.
I'm wondering if my stubbornly staying around here is really worth it, since Loomdun has a point, I'm clearly not an "artist," I'm not going to apply myself to this as more than just a hobby I'd like to be good at, and maybe I'm not even any good at this. I think I offer good advice, but almost no one has ever seriously commented on anything I've drawn, which makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. somehow the quality I see in my work in this thread and my last one is apparently totally imagined.
add that to the fact that I'm basically hated for expressing my opinions in more than 10 words, and my staying around just feels like some sick social experiment of inflicting insecurity upon myself from people treating me like shit. I show up, I say things, and people juxtapose my posts with two stupid arguments I was in and call me retarded for even having thoughts. believe me, I feel plenty worry that maybe everything I say is horrible and useless and annoying, and maybe I deserve no friends, maybe I should just off myself because I really am that terrible of a person. but you know, I'm not retarded, and I know none of that is true and people online are just idiots. so if that's the conclusion, why do I feel the need to be included by people who treat me like I'm an idiot?
I don't do anything wrong. all I've ever tried to do since I got here when I was 15 is be a part of a community that I appreciated. since then, my being myself has gotten me on everyone's bad list, and this has been made worse by idiots like Metalbourne and Loomdun turning little comments into huge pieces of shit smeared everywhere. people say I'm annoying and stupid, but give almost no reason -- the best reasons I've gotten is "you're pessimistic" and "you talk in long sentences."
you know, the only real reason I want to draw anymore is to prove that I'm not worthless in light of this forum making me feel like I'm not good enough to even have my work criticized. knowing that, I abdicate all worry about my ability as an artist. I'm just going to do what I want, how I want, because it makes me happy.
as for the other issue, I've felt worthless more than enough times over a couple mindless assholes. they can suck it. I like to talk, I like long sentences and big words, they get me off. I'm just doing my thing, I don't mean anyone any harm unless they mean me harm, so ultimately, how am I a bad person?
Oh dear....
Do you really want to ask that question?
and also something that I came up with when I felt kind of inspired; one of the few times I drew something I could actually see in my mind
I don't know what you mean by that. If you really are considering arguing that I am a bad person for being sarcastic and having a pessimistic attitude, go ahead. I don't curse people out and attempt to make them feel terrible about themselves for no reason, and I don't call them out in the middle of a damn forum and try to make them look bad in front of other people.
so I'm pretty comfortable with myself. I won't elucidate my reputation in real life, but suffice to say, the people who end up thinking I'm an asshole are the people who barely know me. there are people around here that make me wonder how they could possibly have friends, but that's just how the internet works I guess. or...not, and that's why they're on the internet in the first place?
If you take the time out of your day to make a ranting post like that, do you really have to wonder why some people take issues with you? If people don't care for you, why does it bother you so much? Its just the Internet.
people go out of their way to insult me when I'm not even around and posting.
I don't just sit back when I encounter stupid people, so when I'm being treated stupidly I'm going to say something about it. it seems I tend to rub stupid people the wrong way online. unfortunate. they probably don't like being called stupid, but that's what you get when you behave like a jackass.
Instead of telling people "I am smarter than you, here is why" just laugh it off and do something productive. Like drawing. For all the time you spend formulating massive replies, you could be a fine artist by now. Or have written a novel.
though a couple certain whiny someones can whine all they want whenever they want without being treated like a bitch. something about looking pitiful enough, or being female? I don't know.
Or, its shit you say like this, that makes you sound like a self-righteous douche.
EDIT: In regards to your life drawing class studies - I think your drawings are good. But perhaps charcoal isn’t the best medium? Its very messy, and your lines are smeared and undefined (though I cant do better
I think using the charcoal is forcing me to think of things in terms to mass and lights/darks, and when I use pencil I just start drawing with lines. we're doing more figure drawing this week, I'll try both again and see how that goes.
No.
I mean it's cool that you've invented some reason for why people aren't worshiping the shit-smeared ground you walk upon, but you have some kind of absurd disconnect with reality.
Yeah, throwing in "I don't know" doesn't make light-hearted any of the stupid shit you say. You don't seem to grasp that sententiously making idiotic generalizations causes you to look like a self-righteous prick. And I get it, that's your "thing" or whatever, to be an arrogant douchebag. So, why are you surprised that people don't like you when you go out of your way to claim your own retarded opinions as fact?
:rotate:
Stop wasting your thread talking about stuff that isn't art. People who are wandering around happy to give crits cant be bothered wading through all the boring shit in this thread, just post your art, preferably not in a link, its annoying to have to open up new tabs for you.
Post the art, ask for crits, don't respond to anything other than crits, keep the thread art related, nobody cares about any of this other stuff, not even the people you think you're arguing with.
The reason you don't get a lot of good crits is b/c your thread is boring and reads like something out of H/A. Just post your art and leave it at that.
but his reason for being jailed is no doubt amusing.
also, I got almost no response to my last thread, which lasted over a year and I had open BEFORE people didn't like me, so no, that's not the original reason no one responded to my art.
Hint: putting the blame on the world isn't a good way to start
Oh nooo my secret identity revealed !
Srsizzy, I'm just as guilty as you are, but don't take everything so personally all the time. This is actually why I like talking on vent, you can really understand where people are coming from when you just hear their voice.
I'm always amazed that you can start this up with basically no one prompting you at all, But its the way you're interpreting the text. You need to take a step back from thinking everyone hates the shit out of you and just focus on posting your art. Try to pseudo-mod less, We all know you think metal and bear are dicks and that loomdun is retarded, Just calm the fuck down about it.
I'd say the reason You aren't getting crits is because you are still working on the fundamentals, which is time consuming to give thorough advice on, rather than just picking at more complete work. There are multiple approaches to figuring out the basics, and despite what people think, a lot of it you just figure out through drawing and studying on your own. When you can look back at something and see whats wrong with it, That's really where you learn. Crits only help further that process faster.
Experimenting is kinda up to you as well. You seem to have a rough idea of what some of your issues are. Talk to your teachers. I find that students who resist teachers are the least likely to take things out of lessons, Even if you think a material or some other point is bullshit. I has a teacher who only let us work in line for one semester, and then only let us work in value in the other. It was crap, but when I just went with it, I learned what he was trying to say. There were people who just wanted their art to look good on the wall next to everyone else, and so refused to not shade. They learned less.
Your drawing skills aren't bad, but you need to push yourself. If there's something else you want to focus on, they isolate it and study it on your own. Its a visual and physical medium, So a good deal of it you will learn from just looking and doing. When something isn't working try a new, when you see art you like, imitate it. When you're copying something, post the source and we can crit your methods.
I'm going to keep focusing on form. I feel like I have a group of Final Fantasy characters, and I've gotten as high as I can with "Lines" and completely neglected "Form." I tend to focus on what I know I can do well (because I'm still hung up on looking good) and stubbornly refuse to do what's difficult for me.
I'll keep pumping away at this class. If I remember, I might go to the free weekly figure drawing sessions we have on campus.
Well, keeping with the analogy, there's a cap on lines until you begin to understand your other skills. You have to think about all of these skills feeding into each other, because they do. If you exclusively focus on one, over time it will actually suffer, overheat in a way. You are basically stunting your growth.
she is wise
someone else said this, and i'll emphasize it. You clearly have some problems with people in this forum, and that's well and good, but don't drag it with you everywhere you go.
if you want crits in here, take the crits for what they are, even from the people you dislike. otherwise, you are going to get nothing out of this experience.
and Beavs, I don't dislike anyone on the merits of them being themselves. I'll take artistic criticism no matter who's saying it. people made issue with me personally. I don't hold grudges or have problems with people online unless they're actively attacking me, which is the case with some people right now, even though I'm not doing anything to anyone.
I just want that to be known. I didn't post that rant out of nowhere. I'm now jailed because Bombs really doesn't like me, some people have been insulting what I write elsewhere in the forums behind my back, and sometimes I can't post anything outside of an art thread without someone insulting me.
thank you guys for responding maturely about it though.
Also, I'll repeat that not getting a lot of responses to your drawings most likely isn't a personal shot at you, it's just that it's harder to find something to say. Half the posts in my thread are just me posting more pictures, and it's the same way with a lot of people just posting studies. That one 3d animation guy would barely get any responses in his thread because a lot fewer people even know anything about that stuff. So it's not just you, it's just something that happens in any thread that isn't someone insanely inspiring.
facebook.com/LauraCatherwoodArt
(note: actually, I know I'm jailed because I responded sarcastically to the fact that Bombs really doesn't like me. but for issues like that, Metal should be jailed many times over.)
As far as I can tell, you were jailed because what isn't a crit, not because bombs doesn't like you. This is what I mean about the pseudo-modding, though. You can easily report people and take up your issues with forumers to the mods in private, using the report button. Doing it in this fashion doesn't help much.
post art. post constructive criticism of other peoples art. have fun. laugh at jokes. if you don't like the people in a thread, don't post there.
that is all it is for; for it is an internet forum.
i am only posting this because i saw your "how am i a bad person"
then, i also saw you correct Loomdun's "i'm" to "I'm", and then respond with a "you're" instead of "your".
learn to let it go and just carry on with your internet life.
also, what everyone else said ... spend time on art instead of long angry replies.