Penny Arcade Forums› Artist's Corner
The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.

comic strip.

oysterboyoysterboy Registered User regular
edited October 2009 in Artist's Corner
Hey,

Here's a recent comic strip I did for fun. Any feedback is appreciated.

Have a good weekend folks. :)



JET1MrsDoubtfire.jpg

oysterboy on

Posts

  • gimpyjoshgimpyjosh Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I like the art style. It seems very similar to Penny-Arcade's style. Also, it's a good joke. It got a chuckle out of me.

    The shadows on their faces are too prominent. I would scale them back a bit. It makes them look as if they haven't bathed in weeks. The shadows on the background are fine. I mean this only for the characters.

    Good luck!

    -Josh

    gimpyjosh on
    www.theohnozone.com - The Oh No Zone.com : A comic strip. :mrgreen::rotate:
    :arrow:
  • Guy BellGuy Bell Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I think it's a great strip, also. I had the same initial reaction to the shadows as gimpy and then I realized it was the glare from the TV. Nice work.

    Guy Bell on
  • gimpyjoshgimpyjosh Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Oh, I guess it does kinda look like a tv glare.

    But they still look like dirty, dirty girls to me...

    -Josh

    :-)

    gimpyjosh on
    www.theohnozone.com - The Oh No Zone.com : A comic strip. :mrgreen::rotate:
    :arrow:
  • oysterboyoysterboy Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    Hahaha I see what you guys are saying about the dirty faces. LOL
    It was like Guy Bell said supposed to indicate the light from the TV screen but there are ways I can fix it to better suit that.

    I should have mentioned this was my first attempt at doing a strip entirely in digital. I usually just colour them digitally. So I did this kind of as an experiment and just for fun. There's alot of things I could clean up more like their hands and eyes and mouths. I'll get to it sometime when I get a chance and try to post it back up!

    I'm going to try to squeeze more of these strips into my schedule so I might be back with more in a few weeks!

    Thanks again guys. :)

    -Adam

    oysterboy on
  • CheerfulBearCheerfulBear Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    The joke doesn't really work.

    It's not even really a joke.

    Also why is everyone signing their posts? You can just put in a signature you know.

    -Bear

    CheerfulBear on
  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I could be wrong, but I think the joke is about those Lady Gaga youtube clips?

    Anyway, I still laughed.

    KalTorak on
  • NappuccinoNappuccino Surveyor of Things and Stuff Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    KalTorak wrote: »
    I could be wrong, but I think the joke is about those Lady Gaga youtube clips?

    Anyway, I still laughed.

    Its not quite obvious enough to be "lol" worthy but if that's the joke I'll give it some props. Maybe have someone mention lady gaga before the other girl walks in the room?


    -nappu

    Nappuccino on
    Like to write? Want to get e-published? Give us a look-see at http://wednesdaynightwrites.com/
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    There's also the possibility you just can't really grow a bear like other guys.

    Angel_of_Bacon wrote: »
    Not even BEAR vaginas can defeat me!
    cakemikz wrote: »
    And then I rub actual cake on myself.
    Loomdun wrote: »
    thats why you have chest helmets
  • 8BitLoser8BitLoser Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    the main criticism that jumps out to me is that the little sorta "grit" lines in the hair seem unnecessary and confusing...

    Anything else is just stuff that I'm sure will get better as you get more used to doing comics digitally.

    8BitLoser on
    iBz0aDtohhUJR.gif The Secret Life of a Journal Comic -
    In which you watch my shameful life and hopefully laugh at me.
  • Con-ArtistCon-Artist MichiganianRegistered User regular
    edited October 2009
    8BitLoser wrote: »
    the main criticism that jumps out to me is that the little sorta "grit" lines in the hair seem unnecessary and confusing...

    I'm fairly certain that's because their hair is fashioned from stone.

    Otherwise, I do like the sketchy facial expression - obviously refinement and some definition would be pretty nice - especially when it comes to the weight of the outline. Just requires having a little belief in yourself that the lines you're making are the right ones.

    - Some Guy

    Con-Artist on
  • Radar6590Radar6590 Registered User regular
    edited October 2009
    I would have to say that this could use some refinement in line weight and quality (what lines are completed, etc.) I think that since you clearly spent time coloring this and thinking it out, and have such nice expressions, you really owe it to yourself, and the strip to spend more effort on the line work than you did.

    Otherwise, I'm seeing that your shadows, while they have an interesting backlighting and not just the TV glare (a nice touch), don't really define shape. Which is what light does, because it's how we see. And the way you rendered it leaves the characters very flat since the light doesn't really wrap around any form.

    Also you might want to push the contrast a bit more. Like the back of the TV could be much darker, and same thing with the wall behind the girls (cast shadows would be even better). And the couch should maybe be a different color than the wall.

    All that aesthetic stuff aside, I thought it was funny.

    -Rad

    Radar6590 on
    My DeviantArt
    Loomdun wrote: »
    ...And I am being hulked enraged by multiple things right now and I will destroy you
Sign In or Register to comment.
Penny Arcade Forums› Artist's Corner