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Restaurant Drama
Brett Ashley
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I started serving at this really nice restaurant about a month ago. All the other servers and bartenders are really cool and I enjoy talking with them. I thought I was fitting in pretty nicely with all of them. Unfortunately I'm the youngest and they're all over 21. Sometimes, they'll come in when they're off work and have a drink at the bar. Last night, two of the girls I work with came in for a drink. Another server and I were standing by the bar and they both acknowledged her, but completely ignored my existence. o_O
I don't understand why these female guidos ignore me? Maybe it's because I'm not spray tanned, wear too much makeup or dropped outta college to work at a restaurant full time.
It aggravates me when people are fake. I don't want to ignore them on purpose, I'm not that girl. Maybe it's the age difference? Ugh, fuck. Anyone have advice?
I don't understand why these female guidos ignore me? Maybe it's because I'm not spray tanned, wear too much makeup or dropped outta college to work at a restaurant full time.
It aggravates me when people are fake. I don't want to ignore them on purpose, I'm not that girl. Maybe it's the age difference? Ugh, fuck. Anyone have advice?
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Brett Ashley on
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OK, take a deep breath. You are a new employee, and you're obviously young. You're so young, you cannot mix drinks at the bar nor can you consume alcohol. Therefore, it is far more likely that they simply focused on the person who they could have drinks with. Furthermore, it is also more logical that since they're off work, they're not looking to socialize with coworkers.
If you resent them like this, though, they probably won't want to be your friend. Cheer up, don't assume they're singling you out, and don't close yourself off. Unless you know that they're being intentional mean, you have no reason to think they're picking on you.
Second is even if you're not, who cares? If you try to be friends with them and they spurn you or ignore you, let that be that. Don't ignore them on purpose out of spite or to "be that girl" but don't go out of your way on their account one way or another.
Well, I don't know why they don't like you, but I bolded the reasons why I'm not a fan.
You're coming off as completely judgmental and arrogant, considering how completely minor the slight actually was. It could have been an honest mistake.
You've also only been there a month... the restaurant business is very "cliquey" -- probably because of the typically high turnover rates resulting in people coming and going constantly. It would be emotionally crippling to try and form relationships with all these people you're never going to see again. It may take a while before they accept you into their circle.
End result: Just don't take it to heart unless they start acting outwardly mean toward you. Continue being pleasant with them until they warm up to you -- and stop being so judgmental. No one likes that.
i cant get help for this.
just close this thread.
...make that especially when it's not what you want to hear.
What can I say, we love us some schadenfreude.
Take your medicine like a big girl, OP.
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Can you just tell us what it is, exactly, that you want help with?
If they have done more than what you stated in the OP then please share.
I mean, sometimes people suck. And no matter how friendly you are, sometimes you just have to let the people that suck... well, go be sucky. You can't take it personally every time someone's a bitch.
(for the record, though, I agree with the overreacting sentiment. Give it another few weeks to see if things warm up with your co-workers any more before you make snap judgments about them)
You say they don't like you? Sheesh. I wonder why...
For example, I have 2 new neighbors and I've pondered saying hi but backed out because I do not know these people. I'll get to it eventually.
If you really want to make friends, say hi to them?
edit: Raiden could also be right, it's quite possible they suck.
Seriously though - I'm sure it wasn't anything personal. I don't often acknowledge everyone at work when I stop in for a bit, only those whom I see / hang out with regularly. You're probably just still below their radar at this point. Give it time, or let 'em be.
No need to get upset when you don't hear what you wanted, though. Mountains out of mole hills and all that.
You could take that as "oh they hate me because I'm not like them" or "shit, I should get to know my co-workers a little more." It sucks when you can't go out for a drink with them, but there's plenty of other non-age-restricted activities to do.
And if you take everything personally, eventually it will be personal.
My advice is to not let the little things bother you, and try to push on with a smile on your face until you meet people you really do fit in with.
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Um, spray tan yourself, wear more makeup and drop out of college?
Honestly, don't worry about what other people do, think, or say. You are the center of the world. Be selfish. Be conceded. And, f*ck everybody else.
There is no reason to get upset or angry over this. Some people are just a**holes.
Now, I bring up one thing. Sure, they were talking and everything, but why couldn't you have said something to them as well? Did you even say "hi" or did you just expect them to?
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it's no big deal
chill out
You've been there a month.
That you expect to be on equal ground with all of them after a month is ridiculous. Do you work a lot of shifts, specifically with these girls you mentioned? Do you ever hang out with those particular girls outside of work? Do you ever communicate with them at all outside of work? Do you ever invite them to do things?
Restaurant people can be very tight-knit. You haven't been there nearly long enough, shared enough, and you're really not showing the right attitude. I mean, c'mon, your OP was absolutely dripping with disdain. It doesn't sound like you want them to accept you, to become part of the fold, it sounds like you're outraged that they wouldn't give you attention. "How dare they!" etc.
Chill out, stop taking everything so seriously, and for goodness sake don't be so judgmental of others.
Edit: What Fluffy said as well. You don't seem interested at all in actually being friends with these people. Your views on them are pretty insulting.
If that's the case OP, these girls are the least of your problems. If this isn't a new reaction for you, you might have some real issues when dealing with people.
hey thats pretty good advice...