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AC's Thread in the AC

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Posts

  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    comic044.jpg

    Yeah, I definitely need to work on my faces. Guess I should do a face study of some kind.

    Agent Coleman on
  • The Raging PlatypusThe Raging Platypus Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    comic044.jpg

    Yeah, I definitely need to work on my faces. Guess I should do a face study of some kind.

    Hahaahahahahhaah

    Okay, you definitely do have a bit of a PBF flair to your comics, which is always a good thing.

    It's the facial expressions that'll take it to the next level. Keep working on that, and you'll be in a good place.

    The Raging Platypus on
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  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I want to see you draw that same comic repeatedly until the art is on par with the joke.

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I want to see you draw that same comic repeatedly until the art is on par with the joke.

    I know you no more than me, but I'm curious how drawing it repeatedly makes it better? I hope that doesn't come off as egotistical or arrogant, I simply just do not understand.

    Agent Coleman on
  • UncleSporkyUncleSporky Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I want to see you draw that same comic repeatedly until the art is on par with the joke.

    I know you no more than me, but I'm curious how drawing it repeatedly makes it better? I hope that doesn't come off as egotistical or arrogant, I simply just do not understand.

    He doesn't mean the same exact comic, tracing the same lines every time, he means adding little details and improving here and there until it's perfected. Learning shading, use of more grades of color, expressions etc.

    At least, I think that's what he means.

    UncleSporky on
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  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    He doesn't mean the same exact comic, tracing the same lines every time, he means adding little details and improving here and there until it's perfected. Learning shading, use of more grades of color, expressions etc.

    At least, I think that's what he means.

    Ah. Yeah, well hopefully I my skills get better as I go.
    comic045.jpg

    Agent Coleman on
  • NappuccinoNappuccino Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Better and better!

    I got a good laugh from that one.

    Nappuccino on
    Like to write? Want to get e-published? Give us a look-see at http://wednesdaynightwrites.com/
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
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  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    comic046.jpg

    Agent Coleman on
  • MaydayMayday Cutting edge goblin tech Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    The second panel appears to be completely unnecessary.
    Also... (and I'm not sure how to put it) it would be a tad funnier if the old man wasn't surprised by Carl's destruction (as we should be), the joke's played on US, not him. He should despair at the loss of a colleague.

    Mayday on
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Mayday wrote: »
    The second panel appears to be completely unnecessary.
    Also... (and I'm not sure how to put it) it would be a tad funnier if the old man wasn't surprised by Carl's destruction (as we should be), the joke's played on US, not him. He should despair at the loss of a colleague.

    Hmm, good observation, if only I had a time machine. Though if I had a time machine, I doubt redrawing the comic would be high on my list of things to do.
    comic047.jpg

    Agent Coleman on
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    comic048.jpg

    Agent Coleman on
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited November 2009
    You've got three jokes here, all competing for attention, and as a result none of them are working. There are ways of shoehorning multiple jokes/punchlines into a short comic, but it's difficult for a one-off and takes a degree of linguistic sophistication which isn't really apparent here. For a gag strip, the best method is usually to decide what the focus of the comic is going to be, then discard ruthlessly everything that detracts or distracts from that.

    tynic on
  • CrowlestonCrowleston Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I don't think this has been mentioned but the "don't get this comic... click here!" tab on your site is awful. It completely removes the reader from the joke. If someone isn't getting the comic, then you didn't make a good comic (or they are stupid). It shouldn't have to be explained.

    Crowleston on
    useless but necessary objects of society.
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    tynic wrote: »
    You've got three jokes here, all competing for attention, and as a result none of them are working. There are ways of shoehorning multiple jokes/punchlines into a short comic, but it's difficult for a one-off and takes a degree of linguistic sophistication which isn't really apparent here. For a gag strip, the best method is usually to decide what the focus of the comic is going to be, then discard ruthlessly everything that detracts or distracts from that.

    Hmm, I guess it came off that way, what I was going for was a setting up the punchline but for a "Twist" ending, guess it didn't work too well.

    Crowleston wrote: »
    I don't think this has been mentioned but the "don't get this comic... click here!" tab on your site is awful. It completely removes the reader from the joke. If someone isn't getting the comic, then you didn't make a good comic (or they are stupid). It shouldn't have to be explained.

    While I thank you for your care to comment on this, this is a feature I feel strongly about keeping. In an ideal world, everybody would understand every comic. There are PA's I don't get (Granted, you have to read the blog to understand PA half the time). If I didn't think the comic is good then I wouldn't of put it up in the first place. While the information given to them may remove them from the joke, it's completely optional to look at as it's a drop down button, so only those who aren't getting it will see it.

    Agent Coleman on
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    comic049.jpg

    Agent Coleman on
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    while i agree that there are lots of jokes that you don't really get without context in Penny arcade (like some of the video game ones)
    i still find that the pacing and layouts are always enjoyable
    the jokes are always to the point, and that's what makes them funny
    and they're not usually completely obscure a la family guy, they're usually like a"we played x very popular new release, here is a response to it" type of deal
    above and beyond that, they do filler comics that can really appeal to anyone, gamer or non gamer alike, they're just witty and well staged.
    your most recent one... honestly i really can't tell what's going on at all

    it looks like robocop with a needle or something, and he comes in and kills the kid?
    i'm really confused by it, and i think it's just really the writing that's dragging this down.
    which i mean... we're not writers (i'm not a writer anyways) writer's block sub-forum can probably give you way more help with this sort of stuff.

    your art's really not bad for what it is, i am always more lenient with comics though if the writing's exceptional (look at PA's early strips... the art was so terrible...also one of my favorite webcomics ever was friendbear which was basically just an ms paint disaster) you seem to be getting the story across, but the story is what i find weak.

    beavotron on
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    These would also probably benefit greatly from mixing up your camera angles, and trying to get some more dynamic panels in there when the situation calls for it. It will make things more varied and interesting to look at.

    Also...
    stop making me click on all these damn spoilers

    earthwormadam on
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    beavotron wrote: »
    while i agree that there are lots of jokes that you don't really get without context in Penny arcade (like some of the video game ones)
    i still find that the pacing and layouts are always enjoyable
    the jokes are always to the point, and that's what makes them funny
    and they're not usually completely obscure a la family guy, they're usually like a"we played x very popular new release, here is a response to it" type of deal
    above and beyond that, they do filler comics that can really appeal to anyone, gamer or non gamer alike, they're just witty and well staged.

    I do agree with you, and just want to state that I think PA is a great comic, just incase I came off as being against it.

    beavotron wrote: »
    your most recent one... honestly i really can't tell what's going on at all

    it looks like robocop with a needle or something, and he comes in and kills the kid?
    i'm really confused by it, and i think it's just really the writing that's dragging this down.
    which i mean... we're not writers (i'm not a writer anyways) writer's block sub-forum can probably give you way more help with this sort of stuff.

    your art's really not bad for what it is, i am always more lenient with comics though if the writing's exceptional (look at PA's early strips... the art was so terrible...also one of my favorite webcomics ever was friendbear which was basically just an ms paint disaster) you seem to be getting the story across, but the story is what i find weak.

    Needle = gun. Out of all the pictures I used for reference on robocop, his gun looked like that, but I suppose I dropped the ball. Basically the idea is that the Robocop puts the kid to sleep, as the kid is "scared straight". I'm starting to think that my writing and art are both half way there (living on a prayer). I might be making these a little complex for what they should be.

    Agent Coleman on
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    These would also probably benefit greatly from mixing up your camera angles, and trying to get some more dynamic panels in there when the situation calls for it. It will make things more varied and interesting to look at.

    Also...
    stop making me click on all these damn spoilers

    I'll try that on the next comic (that would call for it). Also sorry about the spoiler button, I just figured its better then having massive scrolling, but I guess the topics I saw it in had 10 pictures or so. My bad.

    Agent Coleman on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    the pictures are the subject of your thread. don't spoiler them. shit's annoying.

    also, what is the process you go through making one of these comics, from idea to final product?

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    the pictures are the subject of your thread. don't spoiler them. shit's annoying.

    also, what is the process you go through making one of these comics, from idea to final product?

    Done and done. And I mean done.

    As far as the comic goes, once I've got the idea, I'll figure out the dialogue, then go into photoshop, sketch it all out, then lay down the inks colours, text, shading then export.

    Agent Coleman on
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    comic050.jpg

    Agent Coleman on
  • Mace1370Mace1370 Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    I've seen Ninja assassin and I'm a bit confused about that comic. I get that ninjas kill everyone when the lights go off, but there wasn't anyone in the movie named ted and there weren't any birthdays so why is this a "what should have happened" comic?

    Mace1370 on
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Mace1370 wrote: »
    I've seen Ninja assassin and I'm a bit confused about that comic. I get that ninjas kill everyone when the lights go off, but there wasn't anyone in the movie named ted and there weren't any birthdays so why is this a "what should have happened" comic?

    None of that actually happened in the movie, so hence the comic being "what should have happened", because it would be funny if it did. Also the WSHH moniker is used for when I base a comic off a movie.

    Agent Coleman on
  • Mace1370Mace1370 Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Mace1370 wrote: »
    I've seen Ninja assassin and I'm a bit confused about that comic. I get that ninjas kill everyone when the lights go off, but there wasn't anyone in the movie named ted and there weren't any birthdays so why is this a "what should have happened" comic?

    None of that actually happened in the movie, so hence the comic being "what should have happened", because it would be funny if it did. Also the WSHH moniker is used for when I base a comic off a movie.

    I guess I got confused because WSHH is normally used in a parody fashion, i.e. it portrays the characters in the movie doing something that they didn't actually do. Good examples is the "how it should have ended" movie shorts. The fact that your comic didn't have any of the movie characters in it is what threw me.

    Mace1370 on
  • EncEnc A Fool with Compassion The Land of Flowers (and Dragons)Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Mace1370 wrote: »
    I've seen Ninja assassin and I'm a bit confused about that comic. I get that ninjas kill everyone when the lights go off, but there wasn't anyone in the movie named ted and there weren't any birthdays so why is this a "what should have happened" comic?

    None of that actually happened in the movie, so hence the comic being "what should have happened", because it would be funny if it did. Also the WSHH moniker is used for when I base a comic off a movie.

    Ok, the problem here is a lack of basic comedy formula. For a three panel comic you need to do this (roughly) in each comic.

    Panel One: Situation
    Panel Two: Setup
    Panel Three: Punchline.

    Lets take a look back at PBF:

    PBF225-Casting_Call.jpg

    Panel One: Situation
    A talent show! Hey. I know what that is. But wait, the judges don't seem too pleased by his superb skills!

    Panel Two/Three: Setup
    Oh ho! What an extreme reation! But wait, a robot?! How absurdly unexpected!

    Panel Four: Punchline
    Next? That's it? Ha! Robots must be common at this talent show! How droll!

    Now, what I wrote up there ruins the funny. BUT- that's what your readers should be thinking as they read the comic. Why is it funny? For a few reasons. First, because it takes your expectations and messes with them. We don't expect the flamethrower in this situation, nor do we expect the robot, and most especially we don't expect the casual demeanor they deal with said robot. Second, we are familiar with the situation of the talent show and the annoyance of those who are good at them, and thus the assertion that someone who is uncommonly talented might, in fact, be a robot causes us to chuckle at our own inadequacies as we reflect:maybe that guy that one time was a robot.. hehe."

    Third, and quite importantly, the comic has a dancing robot and a flamethrower, both of which possess cool points.

    Looking back at the ninja comic, this is how I followed it:

    comic050.jpg

    1) Birthday party? Oh ho, Ted isn't here, and the lights are going out! It's a surprise party!

    2) Lights are out! Nice skylight!

    3) The room got red when Ted came in? Did they paint his house? Or is that blood? He dosen't seem pleased. Huh... Oh, there's the title. Maybe that will help. How Ninja... Ok, so there were ninjas somewhere? Where... Maybe... in panel two because it was dark and you don't see ninjas? Ok. That's how ninjas work, but why Ted's guests? Why on his birthday? What does it have to do with the movie?

    Now, we have a situation, the party. And then we have a punchline: everyone is dead. The only setup in the comic is from the title, which is admittedly disconnected from the comic in the fact that there is nothing to do with the Ninja Assassin movie in the comic. While I can empathize with awkward coming homes due to surprise parties, I don't get why the last panel is "SUDDENLY: CARNAGE!" I'm missing a piece of the formula, and all I see are questions.

    So, looking at this, I would suggest a few paths with this specific comic:
    -Add something to do with the movie and change the setting to match it.
    -Play with our expectations more. So It's Ted's surprise birthday party and it has to do with ninjas. Maybe have someone suggest ted said not to do anything for a party and when he arrives with a corpse in his ninja gear everyone is shocked. How awkward! And understandable, as I've been caught in embarrassing situations due to a surprise party! How droll!
    -Or maybe the gusts say "I'm glad we didn't mention the party to Mr. Ninja!" and one guy looks nervous, lights go out, come back on and blood is everywhere spelling out "Happy Birthday Ted!" in corpses and such. Then you see Ted with Mr. Ninja berating him for ruining another birthday, but Mr. Ninja was just trying to do something nice for him! Oh, how hard he tries, that poor, unappreciated death machine.

    Make the situation understandable, the setup absurd in some fashion, and the punchline play off a straight man (be it your reader's expectations or a character). Also, read up on these guys: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abbott_and_costello

    Comedy uses math as much as physics, just the variables are different. Good luck!


    EDIT: Ok, and yeah. Went to your website. The "Don't Get This Comic" is like saying:

    Your eyes are sky blue!
    CLICK HERE TO UNDERSTAND WHY:
    Because the sky... it's often blue! And sometimes gray I suppose. But there's some gray in her eyes. Do you get it now? Eh?

    Just take the damn thing off your website. It's insulting to both your comics and your readers.

    Enc on
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Enc wrote: »
    Make the situation understandable, the setup absurd in some fashion, and the punchline play off a straight man (be it your reader's expectations or a character). Also, read up on these guys: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abbott_and_costello

    Comedy uses math as much as physics, just the variables are different. Good luck!


    EDIT: Ok, and yeah. Went to your website. The "Don't Get This Comic" is like saying:

    Your eyes are sky blue!
    CLICK HERE TO UNDERSTAND WHY:
    Because the sky... it's often blue! And sometimes gray I suppose. But there's some gray in her eyes. Do you get it now? Eh?

    Just take the damn thing off your website. It's insulting to both your comics and your readers.


    I think I've been making some of them a bit too complex as far as a joke goes, and then it doesn't pay off in the comic.

    I'm still going to defend the "I Don't Get It Button" though. I'll admit more of the recent explanations have been pretty straight forward, but more often then not I throw in a joke there. Also, I've gotten a lot of positive feedback from it as well.

    comic051.jpg

    I just want to go ahead and say (If I haven't yet) thanks for everyones responses. I appreciate all of it.

    Agent Coleman on
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2009
    You know what? I liked this one.

    tynic on
  • A-squaredA-squared Registered User
    edited December 2009
    I just want to say congrats Agent coleman!

    we have been throwing so much critique at you and you have taken it like a god damn man!

    A-squared on
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    tynic, that's good to hear!

    and A-squared, thanks. Hopefully I continue to improve my wriing / drawing to provide you all with a better comic to critique in the future and beyond.

    Agent Coleman on
  • EncEnc A Fool with Compassion The Land of Flowers (and Dragons)Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    I think I've been making some of them a bit too complex as far as a joke goes, and then it doesn't pay off in the comic.

    I'm still going to defend the "I Don't Get It Button" though. I'll admit more of the recent explanations have been pretty straight forward, but more often then not I throw in a joke there. Also, I've gotten a lot of positive feedback from it as well.

    I just want to go ahead and say (If I haven't yet) thanks for everyones responses. I appreciate all of it.


    I laughed pretty hard at this last one! Nicely done! Each one you post gets better and better!

    If you are going to do it, I'd suggest following the trend of some webcomics to have a spoiler section with an additional image and punchline that confirms the first one and adds another layer of humor. That way you are sure to explain the joke if needed, while also giving a reason to click on it to those who get the joke.

    Enc on
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Enc wrote: »

    I laughed pretty hard at this last one! Nicely done! Each one you post gets better and better!

    If you are going to do it, I'd suggest following the trend of some webcomics to have a spoiler section with an additional image and punchline that confirms the first one and adds another layer of humor. That way you are sure to explain the joke if needed, while also giving a reason to click on it to those who get the joke.

    Hmm yeah that will be something I look into, do you know which comics already do this? Just so I can see what some other people are doing.

    comic052.jpg

    Agent Coleman on
  • SipexSipex Registered User
    edited December 2009
    That got a chuckle out of me. I'd remove the 'Nah' though, I find when you reveal the punch line if you have a response to the punch line it takes away from it.

    Sipex on
    Horseshoe wrote:
    I've got good news and bad news about 6th level, That Guy. The good news is that Forbiddance spell allows you to prevent enemies different alignment from entering a consecrated area, which is actually useful! The bad news is that the only other new sixth level spell makes lunch for everybody. Guess which one the party is going to expect you to cast.
  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited December 2009
    I like the "nah", personally.

    Last two comics were pretty decent! Please don't put improving your art on a backburner, I think if both your art and jokes keep getting better you'll have a really good comic on your hands

    Iruka on
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Thanks for the good words. I think I need to work on me faces. Also drawing people that are farther away and get less detail. Not really sure how I can improve on them. (I'm not saying I can't, I'm just saying I'm not sure how)

    Agent Coleman on
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    comic053.jpg


    Also, here is another bonus video my friends made for kicks. Granted I wasn't involved in it. I just think it's quality work that's worth posting. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeTFkgpDpqw

    Agent Coleman on
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    comic054.jpg

    Agent Coleman on
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Man, keep working on your art cause you've got the humour down.

    Mustang on
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Mustang wrote: »
    Man, keep working on your art cause you've got the humour down.

    Good to hear, thanks man.

    comic055.jpg

    Agent Coleman on
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    comic056.jpg

    Agent Coleman on
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