The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
Dealing with egos at the game table...
JaysonFour
Classy Monster KittehRegistered User regular
Classy Monster KittehRegistered User regular
So i had a problem hit at the college's gamer's guild night tonight. It's friendly competition, but I don't think I'm going to go back- at least not to play Magic. We had an awkward situation. Story's in spoiler tags, synopsis below that.
So I managed to steal a kill from a regular, and because he couldn't make the kill himself (and was soundly denied by the guy he ended up attacking), he got pissed off at me and stormed out. Since we were all feeling just a little awkward, I packed up my stuff and asked one of the other guys at the table to apologize to the guy who just stormed out for me, because I was sorry I ruined his game.
I was told that he flies off the handle like that fairly often, and that it was normal of him to blame other people when his single-win-condition decks were stopped dead in the water. But I still made up some lame story about having someone I had to meet so I could get out of the situation.
I don't think I'm going to go play Magic with that particular group again, but I just don't know how to deal with someone getting mad enough to storm out over a card game because their teammate had killed the guy they desperately wanted to kill.
The awkward thing is I go to gamer's night every week to play an RPG- my GM was out of town this week, and I had some Magic decks lying around that I hadn't used in a year. So I decided to indulge in some card-flopping.
So, how do I avoid making the situation any more awkward than it already is? My DM's coming back next week, and I really don't want to have to drop from his campaign just so I don't have to deal with this guy, especially if he still has an axe to grind next week.
I was playing Magic tonight with a bunch of people I've never played with before- Two-Headed Giant format, with four teams of two.
It's late game, and my deck has hit its stride- just about ready to wreck our closest threat. I've got a shitload of elves out, and thanks to various global effects, most of the land is stripped out of my deck. So on our big turn, I drop a Goblin Charbelcher- (CC: 4, pay 3 and tap to target a player, then mill cards off the top of my library until I hit a land. I do damage equal to the number of cards milled off. If the revealed land was a Mountain, the damage is doubled. Revealed cards end up on the bottom of my library.
My partner has some griffon card out- essentially says if he takes some kind of damage, it gets bigger and bigger. It's big enough to wreck the closest team.
So before our attack phase, I decide to fire up the Charbelcher and unload it at the other team. So I start milling my cards, and ten go by... twenty go by... thirty go by...
My fortieth card revealed as a Mountain. Seventy-eight points of damage to the closest team. They're dead.
But there's a problem. My partner wanted to kill them with his massive griffon. Now that they were out, he turned to another team, which dropped some other spells and managed to block him from doing any damage.
This didn't really sit well with my "teammate". He immediately leapt out of his chair, half-shouted a swear word, and then walked off somewhere. The rest of us decided to wait him out- see if he came back.
He came back and packed up all his cards and decks without saying a word, then stormed out. Apparently, he was pissed off that he didn't get to make the kill with his big griffon. I had denied him that, so he apparently was pissed off about that.
It's late game, and my deck has hit its stride- just about ready to wreck our closest threat. I've got a shitload of elves out, and thanks to various global effects, most of the land is stripped out of my deck. So on our big turn, I drop a Goblin Charbelcher- (CC: 4, pay 3 and tap to target a player, then mill cards off the top of my library until I hit a land. I do damage equal to the number of cards milled off. If the revealed land was a Mountain, the damage is doubled. Revealed cards end up on the bottom of my library.
My partner has some griffon card out- essentially says if he takes some kind of damage, it gets bigger and bigger. It's big enough to wreck the closest team.
So before our attack phase, I decide to fire up the Charbelcher and unload it at the other team. So I start milling my cards, and ten go by... twenty go by... thirty go by...
My fortieth card revealed as a Mountain. Seventy-eight points of damage to the closest team. They're dead.
But there's a problem. My partner wanted to kill them with his massive griffon. Now that they were out, he turned to another team, which dropped some other spells and managed to block him from doing any damage.
This didn't really sit well with my "teammate". He immediately leapt out of his chair, half-shouted a swear word, and then walked off somewhere. The rest of us decided to wait him out- see if he came back.
He came back and packed up all his cards and decks without saying a word, then stormed out. Apparently, he was pissed off that he didn't get to make the kill with his big griffon. I had denied him that, so he apparently was pissed off about that.
So I managed to steal a kill from a regular, and because he couldn't make the kill himself (and was soundly denied by the guy he ended up attacking), he got pissed off at me and stormed out. Since we were all feeling just a little awkward, I packed up my stuff and asked one of the other guys at the table to apologize to the guy who just stormed out for me, because I was sorry I ruined his game.
I was told that he flies off the handle like that fairly often, and that it was normal of him to blame other people when his single-win-condition decks were stopped dead in the water. But I still made up some lame story about having someone I had to meet so I could get out of the situation.
I don't think I'm going to go play Magic with that particular group again, but I just don't know how to deal with someone getting mad enough to storm out over a card game because their teammate had killed the guy they desperately wanted to kill.
The awkward thing is I go to gamer's night every week to play an RPG- my GM was out of town this week, and I had some Magic decks lying around that I hadn't used in a year. So I decided to indulge in some card-flopping.
So, how do I avoid making the situation any more awkward than it already is? My DM's coming back next week, and I really don't want to have to drop from his campaign just so I don't have to deal with this guy, especially if he still has an axe to grind next week.
I can has cheezburger, yes?
JaysonFour on
0
Posts
I don't think you should make a big deal of it, assuming you are able to do so. The guy in question does this fairly often, and he likely won't hold a grudge against you... if he's in your RPG and he pulls that crap, let your GM deal with him... I doubt that he'll get too many chances to storm out before being booted from the game.
If you can't stand the guy, or the thought that he might do that again, then you have a problem. We can go down that road if you're feeling like it has to be either him or you.
I don't think he'd try anything- mostly because 1) game night is held in a college building, 2) it doesn't sound like he lives on campus, and 3) if he DID try anything, he'd be out of the gamer's guild with no place to play.
I just didn't mean to piss him off- hell, I thought I was doing him a favor by trying to drop two teams with one turn. I don't really want to play with people who take the game so seriously- after all, that's why I play casually, and not competitively.
In short: No, I don't think he'll try anything. I just don't want to hear anything out of him about it next week.
It's a game, for crying out loud. And I have little enough free time as it is without having to worry about someone getting all pissed off over a card game.
I can has cheezburger, yes?
But as El Skid says, these kinds of things are going to end up happening at any gamer's organization available to the public. Go to the game and see what happens, most likely the guy in question will just not speak to you or act like nothing has happened. I'd probably go as far as to keep playing magic when you're not playing in your RPG, seems like the people playing magic don't view him as more important than you just because he's a regular.
In summary, it's probably not as big of a deal as it feels like it is in the aftermath, go to the next gaming week and tell us what happens (if anything), and we can go from there.
If you really don't want to have to deal with this guy you will probably be fine just participating in your D&D game (glad to hear you apparently have a good group of players + DM there) and ignoring him.
Moreover, him throwing a temper tantrum because you got to do your cool thing instead of him doing his cool thing is in no way your fault. Watch him rage, avoid emotional engagement and move on.
Since guy does this all the time I suspect he's gifted in the ancient secrets of the WASPs. Just pretend it didn't happen. He'll likely never mention it again.
If it makes you that uncomfortable I would simply politely remove yourself from the game if he's involved. Don't blame him, offer something non-committal (I should be studying) and leave. The socially non-inept will understand what's happening.
You deal with it by confronting it. People who act like this deserve to be treated with contempt. Show up for your game per usual. If he tries to start shit (and he won't, because the key part of that description is "little bitch"), stand up, and tell him it's fucking inappropriate, and that even if he isn't one, he needs to act like a decent human being. Bonus points if he cries.
The problem is people feed right into his behavior by feeling bad; that's exactly what he's trying to do: make other people feel bad. When his little temper tantrum runs straight into a great big wall of "go fuck yourself," he'll either shape up, or go away and never come back. Either way, you'll be better off for it.
There's also the off chance that other people at the group will support him and want you to leave for calling him on his fucking bullshit. If they do, fine; you're far better off without them. But the fact is that if they're putting up with his bullshit for this long, none of them are likely to want to stand up to you.
Basically, what I'm saying is that you need to grow a pair. And I'm talking from personal experience, because once I started treating the kind of people who behaved contemptibly at my gaming group with contempt, I had a lot of positive reaction, and I felt way better about myself, too. Because seriously, not only are fuckers like that ruining everyone else's fun, they're also the kind of people everyone associates with "gamers," and the fucking reason I never mention my hobbies to anyone I don't know pretty well.
Aggressive-aggressive will beat passive-aggressive every fucking time.
"Go up, thou bald head." -2 Kings 2:23
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
Thanatos' way is better for him (clearly his behaviour is way out of line, and somebody should have told him this by now), and probably better for everyone. Especially if you do get a positive response from others (which you logically should).
If you can't or won't do it Than's way, then just ignoring the problem would probably work, if not as well.
I was gonna write more than that but
naw
edit: ok.
I would say that you aren't in too bad a place if this isn't someone at your regular gaming table / good friend. If it were, I'd say, you need to talk to the person. As is, I wouldn't sweat it too much.
If you have something like this come up with the same or another person, I personally just like to call them out on the spot. I look at them and I say "You are being ridiculous." That alone - I mean, 50% of the time, works every time. It makes people consider their actions from the social viewpoint of their peers around them, and they will usually change it, at least for the moment.
somehow
when i saw this thread and clicked on the thread title and was ready to be completely mindfucked by a bizarre thread
i realized i had misread the thread title
(ololol Pony Stark)
It's been years since I've played a CCG but I remember ego being a big part of why it was so heated. When I was taught Magic I actually won my first game but the guy teaching me told a new rule he had made up just then in order to win. I didn't know any better so I wasn't upset. A guy tried the same thing with Pokemon a few year later and we had a good laugh about it.
Where I really love ego- and I mean this, I'm not being sarcastic- is in Table Top RPGs. I've really only experience with Deadlands (prior to the Savage Worlds rules) but every campaign I've been a part of has contained at least one gamer with a substantial ego. When it's the GM and you get a lucky roll or figure out his next trick it just makes that victory so much the sweeter. My favorite instant was a GM who had several NPCs out at the same time and he was acting a whole scene with each character- very entertaining but also perfect for a sneak roll and an escape. Poor man was embarrassed and defeated. The other Posse I joined had a good friend of mine in it and this poor guy always wanted his character to be the leader and to try and reform all of our characters (He was a preacher). The in-game fighting and table talk were among the funniest I've ever had.
The key to all of that was that everyone who was playing knew each other and were friends. To play with strangers whose tempers flare up for things as described in the first post is a difficult thing, even more so in person than it is online where you can write anyone off as a minor nuisance at worst.Just try not to play with people who react poorly and try to make friends with those you enjoy playing with. You can always meet outside of the club for a friendly game.
Also, has anyone ever had a problem with going into a hobby or game shop and being sneered at by the people who work there? Every time I go into my local hobby shop to look at table top books and dice I get looked down upon by the staff, many of whom are younger than me. And a lot smaller, I could win in a fight. No question.
I'd feel bad. The employee was an 18 year old girl, the other one was a slightly pudgy and bespectacled guy. I suppose the latter may have been a natural pick for such treatment but once you reach your twenties to either give or receive one of those just seems... criminal.
I wouldn't expect to be so put down by people who work in a hobby shop though, especially people who seems to be nerds themselves. I'd think you'd embrace a new friend before asserting your dominance.
You should see the guys in the back/game room though, at least half of them are almost exactly like the jerk described way up at the top of the thread. And when they fight each other instead of a bystander, it's a lot of fun to see.
i dislike going to my local game store on magic nights for that very reason, because of all the alpha magic nerds who act like they're king turd of shit mountain
My lil' bro told me a HI-larious story about how he went into the same store I was complaining about to play a few rounds of Magic because his group was unavailable. He beat the first guy he was playing against rather soundly. After the match the guy asked to look at his deck. His deck was made up of a lot of older cards that he had inherited from me when I stopped playing CCGs. The guy very seriously explained to him "You have some old cards here. A lot of these aren't sanctioned for play any more under the revised rules of (insert really hardcore rulebook here). So I'm afraid, while it was a good match, you officially forfeit and I win."
Who would go so out of their way to claim victory in an exhibition match- a game played simply for joy of the game- over a stranger that neither you or really anyone in the store knows or would ever see again? I think at some point if it means that much to someone you might as well give it to them because they clearly got nothing else going for them in their lives.
But everyone can have a bad day. I was into Magic for about a year back in high school, and my friends and I played a lot. I came up with a really sweet combo deck that gave me an infinite number of turns and typically "went off" around turn 6 (optimally I think I could swing a turn 4 victory). It was fun but I stopped using it after a while because, while it didn't win every time (it was a little fragile), it won often enough, and spending 5 minutes taking all my turns while I ever so slowly kill off my opponent wasn't much fun for him. I've still got it somewhere.
Why would you, I mean, what the?....GAAAAAAH! Is it just me, or does it seem that once someone starts playing competitively the idea of fun or friendliness goes out the window? Or is it just the people who play like that are naturally drawn into competitions?
I've seen old chess players do this too, they're just really passionate about playing. Don't feel intimidated.
I think it's more that they can't draw the line between a casual game and a competitive game. It just doesn't make sense to be "on" all the time. It's like playing a fighting game with your friends that suck. Are you really going to pick your best character and wipe the floor with them? At a tourney, sure. That's what you're expected to do. But if you are just messing around why would you do that?
What cracks me up is that this guy apparently had some sort of mental win/loss ration in his head that was so important to him he had to make absolutely sure that he had "won". If he had done that to me I would have just told him congratulations.
As for the op, that kind of behavior really shouldn't be accepted anywhere. Just because he's a gamer doesn't give him a "get out of being socially acceptable free" card.
When it was our turn to play each other he would holler in joy if he got a good card, and would then show me the card to let me know just how good his deck was. Even if he couldn't play the card that turn. So I could just plan for him playing that card and counter it. He did this over and over.
e: but hey, the other people I played weren't butts and would explain cards/rules and gave good deck building advice
In the balls.
With your foot.
Honestly, being a girl and a gamer geek like this, let me tell you, a swift kick to the balls of the guy who is having a hissy fit cause he just got his ass handed to him by a girl with completely legal cards in only her second or third game of playing Magic ever?
Yeah, swift kick to the balls (or shins if you can't kick that high) Works wonders.
Or, as Than said, a nice "go fuck yourself" does too.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
I still don't get this whole gender bias in gaming. Isn't gaming pretty much designed so that there's a level playing field on all fronts, including gender?
To be a nerd, gamer and then add chauvinist to the list is to commit one's self to an existence of loneliness and contempt.
Crap, I'm screwed...
Anyways, definitely wanna say you shouldn't worry about it. The likelihood that it'll even be brought up is pretty minimal. If this sorta stuff happened and actually caused problems it probably would've been dealt with way earlier. If behavior like that is even remotely common, then it either doesn't lead to big issues, or he's a lot more than just regular, which can be annoying. I'd be surprised if he even said anything to you at all, he's probably a bit a embarrassed of his behavior himself, I usually am after I know I acted like a tool, it just takes a little while to sink in.
I personally think trying to be pro-active here would just aggravate matters since his general behavior really isn't of direct consequence to you, let his friends nut up if they have a problem with it.
twitch.tv/tehsloth
Skill check phase... "hey i'm bored can we fight something?"
Role Playing Interactions with Npc... "hey I'm bored can we fight something?"
Combat... "WOO THIS AWESOME I'M HAVING A LOT OF FUN"
The DM isn't doing a good job during the non-combat parts?
Question: When you die in-game, do you get the feeling that your DM "dropped a bridge" on you, so to speak?
I only ask because I've seen the same sort of thing happen many times to players who are kinda like you. Well, that or in-game the rest of the party brutally murders said character in their sleep.
What my favorite marshal used to do if we were aching for a fight or for payback, he'd bring back any of the NPCs we had a problem with and give us another crack at them. I really appreciated that.
He could give you some colourful blocks to play with?
I've never had a DM with the six or so I've had throughout my life kill me off without my actions reasonably leading to it.
I mean we've been tpk'd at low levels, but heck, who hasn't?
But out of character, I let everyone know that, "my favorite part of D&D is the combat and I don't like much else"
The amount of shit we would give him for that every session afterward was always good fight fodder.
The worst part was both guys in their misguided attempt to put in more "role playing" for the girls usually meant one of these things, one of us gals would end up kidnapped and needing rescue, some if not several of us would end up pregnant, some if not several of us would end up raped, their were forced marriages to evil npc's, and any time we were hired to save someone that someone was always a female.
The best was after the gals finally got fed up and had a sit down with the GM's. It took a while but they finally stopped doing those things to us and came up with new ideas. Once they got beyond those old habits the game really improved.