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Crazy Boyfriend/Girlfriend Stories: Thats Crazy!

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Posts

  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I've been woken up by my wife hitting me for cheating on her in her dreams.

    Smack
    WTF!
    You cheated on me!
    When the fuck did this happen?
    Just now in my dream!
    ........ O_o
    Go back to sleep honey.

    Capt Howdy on
    Steam: kaylesolo1
    3DS: 1521-4165-5907
    PS3: KayleSolo
    Live: Kayle Solo
    WiiU: KayleSolo
  • Torso BoyTorso Boy Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Torso Boy wrote: »
    Well, one day my ex confided in me that when she was younger and was beginning her period, she wasn't sure exactly how to put her tampon in. So, of course, her mother put it in for her.

    Now, being a guy, I don't really have much experience with this type of thing. But I'm relatively sure that is not something that normally happens. :lol:
    Everything has to be learned. I'm pretty sure most of us had to be shown how to wipe our asses...I don't see how this is any different.

    It's different to me because A) I had never heard of such a thing and B) Every girl that I've ever asked about it has widened their eyes in horror and asked what was wrong with this girl.

    And since I can only take cues about such things from women (as I have no experience with it), I have come to the conclusion that this is not only slightly abnormal, but it also horrifies most other women to hear it.
    Yeah, my penis may have been interfering with my judgment here...I'm gonna see what my girlfriend makes of this. My instinct was that, being nonsexual, it wasn't a big deal...but I've also never had a parent insert anything into me. At least, not one of my parents.
    Organichu wrote: »
    I'm 22 and far from a virgin and I still have the girl put my donger in her

    SHIT BE CONFUSING DOWN THERE

    It's like the garden maze in The Shining
    Just throwing this out there: You probably shouldn't call it a donger, openly admit to being confused by vaginas, or compare sex with The Shining (unless she likes it when you repeat "REDRUM" in that voice).

    I don't know how you go about it, but looking directly at the vagina for a sustained period of time will not cause you to explode. If it's with the same girl, you should be able to understand what you can and can't pull off...and if you don't know yet, experiment. It's like Operation- you'll know when you're fucking it up. And, as ChillyWilly suggested...there is a totally viable alternative close by.

    (PS., why does Firefox think "vaginas" is incorrect, whereas "vaginae" is fine?)

    Torso Boy on
  • OrganichuOrganichu jacobkosh Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I was just kidding

    I am just eminently unfunny

    Organichu on
  • Torso BoyTorso Boy Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Organichu wrote: »
    I was just kidding

    I am just eminently unfunny

    I figured, I just couldn't pass it up.

    And now I want to try yelling REDRUM during, just for the reaction.

    Torso Boy on
  • SteevLSteevL What can I do for you? Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Capt Howdy wrote: »
    I've been woken up by my wife hitting me for cheating on her in her dreams.

    Smack
    WTF!
    You cheated on me!
    When the fuck did this happen?
    Just now in my dream!
    ........ O_o
    Go back to sleep honey.

    Did you mention that in the previous thread? If not, then it's not the first time someone on here had that happen.

    SteevL on
  • SpacemilkSpacemilk Registered User
    edited November 2009
    Capt Howdy wrote: »
    I've been woken up by my wife hitting me for cheating on her in her dreams.

    Smack
    WTF!
    You cheated on me!
    When the fuck did this happen?
    Just now in my dream!
    ........ O_o
    Go back to sleep honey.
    I've sort of done this before, but it was when I was having a crazy nightmare - I don't remember the details but some random guy was attacking me and my little sister. It was one of those dreams where you're trying as hard as you can to scream, but you can't, or run, but you can't. In my dream I'd tried everything to stop this guy from attacking us, but I was so helpless. It took a massive Herculean effort in my dream to punch the guy as hard as I could in the face, three times...

    ...except his face was my boyfriend's shoulder :( but luckily it wasn't as hard as I could, it barely woke him up and we ended up having a good laugh about it. Hasn't happened since.

    I have had some pretty vivid dreams where I'm firmly convinced they've actually happened, but usually they're one of two things: 1) someone dies, and I wake up in tears, or 2) I'm so exhausted and I don't want to get up so I dream that I get up, get ready, and I'm getting ready to walk out the door... then I wake up and realize I STILL have to do all that stuff.

    Spacemilk on
  • ChillyWillyChillyWilly Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Capt Howdy wrote: »
    Organichu wrote: »
    I'm 22 and far from a virgin and I still have the girl put my donger in her

    SHIT BE CONFUSING DOWN THERE

    It's like the garden maze in The Shining

    Here's a little piece of a advice: Ladies don't care where it goes.
    :winky:

    Really depends on the position.

    I know. I was just messing with our resident Captain. Women very much care, especially when you don't tell them you're going into the "wrong" hole.
    Seriously, though. PIITB. :winky:

    ChillyWilly on
    PAFC Top 10 Finisher in Seasons 1 and 3. 2nd in Seasons 4 and 5. Final 4 in Season 6.
  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    SteevL wrote: »
    Capt Howdy wrote: »
    I've been woken up by my wife hitting me for cheating on her in her dreams.

    Smack
    WTF!
    You cheated on me!
    When the fuck did this happen?
    Just now in my dream!
    ........ O_o
    Go back to sleep honey.

    Did you mention that in the previous thread? If not, then it's not the first time someone on here had that happen.

    No, the only story I posted was about the ravilioi. But it is a common one apparently.

    Capt Howdy on
    Steam: kaylesolo1
    3DS: 1521-4165-5907
    PS3: KayleSolo
    Live: Kayle Solo
    WiiU: KayleSolo
  • UncleSporkyUncleSporky Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Capt Howdy wrote: »
    I've been woken up by my wife hitting me for cheating on her in her dreams.

    Smack
    WTF!
    You cheated on me!
    When the fuck did this happen?
    Just now in my dream!
    ........ O_o
    Go back to sleep honey.

    This just irritates me. I would consider it free reign to do the same in return whenever you feel like it.

    "Sorry for waking you up, you just pissed me off so much in my dream so that justifies it"

    UncleSporky on
    Switch Friend Code: SW - 5443 - 2358 - 9118 || 3DS Friend Code: 0989 - 1731 - 9504 || NNID: unclesporky
  • RobmanRobman Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Sorry honey, I had a dream your hair was my spank rag

    Robman on
  • Modern ManModern Man Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Is someone a crazy ex if you only met them once and they created a relationship in their mind?

    So, my college roommate asks me to be a groomsman at his wedding. Which was a little strange, since we weren't that close (lived in a house with 5 other guys and we hadn't seen each other in a few years). Turns out, his fiance had 9 bridesmaids, so he was basically rounding up whoever he could to even the sides out.

    Wedding goes fine, she meets my fiance and we exchange some basic chitchat (there were 500 people at the wedding, so I maybe talked to this woman for 5 minutes, tops, the entire weekend).

    About a month after the wedding, she e-mails me (I later find out she had gone through her husband's stuff to get my e-mail). Thanks me for coming and says it was nice to meet someone from her husband's college days. Perfectly innocent- this girl is from the South, so I'm thinking she's just being super-polite, like a lot of people from that area.

    Then it.... escalated. She first sends me an e-mail asking me if I thinks she's pretty. She starts sending me some pretty personal e-mails, including pictures of her in her wedding night lingerie (taken by her husband, apparently). I decide to be smart and tell my fiance about all of this- it would have sucked to get into trouble for an affair I wasn't having. My fiance tells me to tell this girl to go away, so I e-mail her and tell her she is being inappropriate. I don't hear from her for a couple of weeks.

    Then, one night, I get a call at about 3 in the morning on my cell. I don't pick it up, but check the message in the morning- this girl left a 5 minute, rambling voice mail about how I was the inappropriate one, how she thought we had a connection etc. Remember- we met once. At her wedding.

    I never call her back, but e-mail her and tell her that if she ever contacted me again, I would forward all of her e-mails to me on to her husband, including the pictures of her with her cooter exposed on her wedding night. That did it- never heard from her again.

    Well, it turned out she did something similar to our other roommate who had been a groomsman at their wedding. We could never figure out what her goal was.

    Modern Man on
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    Rigorous Scholarship

  • NamrokNamrok Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    So, the crazy ex I posted so many insane stories about continues.

    First, cliffs notes. A girl I date is an absolute psycho. Screaming, yelling, insulting, throwing fits over everything, breaking shit and hitting me type psycho. We break up. I find someone simply amazing and begin dating her.

    I defriend the ex on facebook. She flips out and sends me a message on facebook being all pissy. Actually one of the least psycho things she'd done. Just called me immature. Not too bad. I ignore it.

    Then she finds me on twitter. I block.

    Then she starts psycho txt messaging me, calling my new girlfriend a whore and telling me I'm being mean. I ignore both.

    Then she finds me on linked in and tries to friend me there. Blocked.

    Keep in mind we did not speak at all after the breakup, and the first instance of her lashing out was 3 months later. Presumably after the guy she dated and tried to keep secret from me (why I donno, I was just glad someone took her off my hands) dumped her for being psycho. Lucky guy picked up on it quicker than I did.

    Namrok on
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