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The Worst Presents You've Ever Recieved/Given

AlyceInWonderlandAlyceInWonderland Registered User regular
edited November 2009 in Debate and/or Discourse
So this thread is obviously about the worst presents you've ever gotten on any occasion (or even the worst gifts you've given). Now, I definitely don't object to free shit, and I'm totally thankful for everything I've gotten in the past, but some gifts were just strange.

On to the stories:


-My grandparents were kick ass people. They rode their Harley's until they were in their 80s, and were usually pretty great at giving gifts. I think I was around 8 years old, and it was Christmas. My grandparents were SUPER excited to give me their gift, and I was SUPER excited to open it. I took it, eagerly ripped the wrapping paper off, opened the box and laid my eyes on 3 jars of pickles and mayonnaise. No wonder I was a fat kid.

-My alcoholic aunt decided to give me green sheets (Not like a nice green, but a baby poop green.) for a king sized bed and $1.23 in pennies in a card. I used the sheets to protect my rug from paint when I'd paint so it wasn't too bad.

Edit: Now, I'm content with receiving nothing for birthdays and stuff, but my ex decided that he had to give me something for my birthday last year (He forgot about it, and ran out at the last minute). He got me a 10 pack of Bic blue ball point pens. I would have rather gotten nothing :P


Bad Gifts I've given:
-I was like 10 at the time, so cut me some slack, but I gave my friend mad-libs, silly putty, and a coka-cola calendar.

AlyceInWonderland on
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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    When I was about eight, I unwrapped what I thought was a tin if Tinker Toys... I excitedly opened the tin and it was filled with beef jerky.

    At the time, that was pretty disappointing... now, I'm not so sure.

    Chanus on
    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    Mr.SunshineMr.Sunshine Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Beef jerky is the greatest gift.

    Mr.Sunshine on
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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Yeah, but when I was eight, I really would have preferred the Tinker Toys. :)

    Chanus on
    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    AroducAroduc regular
    edited November 2009
    I come home from college when I'm a sophomore, and my parents give me the 'gift' of ice driving lessons. 4 hours of group learning about how to drive on ice before I even owned a car.

    Just what I wanted, a completely wasted afternoon being told how to drive. Fucking stellar.

    Aroduc on
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    QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    When the Xbox first came out and DVD players were still one of the cool new things to have, I hinted strongly for months beforehand that I'd love an Xbox.

    Come Christmas day, because a couple weeks earlier I said that when I moved out the following Summer I might maybe want to get a dog, my parents dropped $500 on a pure bred Pomeranian puppy.

    And then it turned out the fucker wasn't even a pure breed.

    Good dog though. Just disappointing on that day.

    Quid on
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    AlyceInWonderlandAlyceInWonderland Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Oh I forgot to add something. My birthday is kinda close to christmas (about a month off...so not really), and I'd always get the "Happy birthday/christmas!" gifts, or birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper.

    AlyceInWonderland on
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    [Michael][Michael] Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I got a noodle strainer from my sister one Christmas. I think I was 12.

    I once gave my mom a bunch of pictures I drew when I was 4. They were for her birthday. I woke up early to hang them up around the house, but couldn't find any tape, so I used toothpaste to stick them to the walls.

    I once filled up my dad's car for him for father's day when I was 4. I didn't know cars ran on gasoline at the time, so I just used water. He thanked me for trying to help him out, then explained that cars don't run on water. He didn't get angry, so that was cool.

    [Michael] on
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    Element BrianElement Brian Peanut Butter Shill Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    One Christmas my dad gave my mom a can of diet mt. dew.

    Element Brian on
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    ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    My dad still gets shit from his wife for the gag gift of an ironing board and a Playmate ironing board edition (all of the men were on, well, ironing boards).

    Improvolone on
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    QliphothQliphoth Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    For years my parents and my aunts and uncles would give my family and cousins gift vouchers because seriously fuck buying for a bunch of individual 12-17 year olds. Until one year when I was 17 my aunty and uncle bought me a frisbee. After asking me whether I wanted a frisbee. And me saying no I did not want a frisbee, I had several from when I was a small child and actually wanted to use that kinda crap. I wasn't the kind of teenager that played sports and I can only assume this was some misguided attempt to get me off video games and outside like their sport obsessed kids. Still, getting me a gift after I specifically said no I did not want that like a month before was pretty douchey.

    Qliphoth on
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    Undead ScottsmanUndead Scottsman Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    [Michael] wrote: »
    I got a noodle strainer from my sister one Christmas. I think I was 12.

    I once gave my mom a bunch of pictures I drew when I was 4. They were for her birthday. I woke up early to hang them up around the house, but couldn't find any tape, so I used toothpaste to stick them to the walls.

    That's actually really cute.

    Undead Scottsman on
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    [Michael][Michael] Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    She thought so, too, until she smelled something minty.

    [Michael] on
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    SpawnbrokerSpawnbroker Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Oh I forgot to add something. My birthday is kinda close to christmas (about a month off...so not really), and I'd always get the "Happy birthday/christmas!" gifts, or birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper.

    You ain't got shit on my brother. His birthday is Christmas day.

    Spawnbroker on
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    AlyceInWonderlandAlyceInWonderland Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Oh I forgot to add something. My birthday is kinda close to christmas (about a month off...so not really), and I'd always get the "Happy birthday/christmas!" gifts, or birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper.

    You ain't got shit on my brother. His birthday is Christmas day.

    D:

    AlyceInWonderland on
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    LeitnerLeitner Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Oh I forgot to add something. My birthday is kinda close to christmas (about a month off...so not really), and I'd always get the "Happy birthday/christmas!" gifts, or birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper.

    You ain't got shit on my brother. His birthday is Christmas day.

    I have a mate whos birthday is christmas eve.

    So instead he decided to celebrate it in the summer instead. It's an, original approach I'll grant you.

    Leitner on
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    yalborapyalborap Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Oh I forgot to add something. My birthday is kinda close to christmas (about a month off...so not really), and I'd always get the "Happy birthday/christmas!" gifts, or birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper.

    You ain't got shit on my brother. His birthday is Christmas day.

    D:

    You should see my family.

    Kid brother's birthday? December 7th.

    Dad's? December 26th.

    Mine? January 3rd.

    My mom's? February 16th.

    It's UNHOLY.

    yalborap on
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    QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Leitner wrote: »
    Oh I forgot to add something. My birthday is kinda close to christmas (about a month off...so not really), and I'd always get the "Happy birthday/christmas!" gifts, or birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper.

    You ain't got shit on my brother. His birthday is Christmas day.

    I have a mate whos birthday is christmas eve.

    So instead he decided to celebrate it in the summer instead. It's an, original approach I'll grant you.

    That's actually pretty brilliant.

    Quid on
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    SpawnbrokerSpawnbroker Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Quid wrote: »
    Leitner wrote: »
    Oh I forgot to add something. My birthday is kinda close to christmas (about a month off...so not really), and I'd always get the "Happy birthday/christmas!" gifts, or birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper.

    You ain't got shit on my brother. His birthday is Christmas day.

    I have a mate whos birthday is christmas eve.

    So instead he decided to celebrate it in the summer instead. It's an, original approach I'll grant you.

    That's actually pretty brilliant.

    My parents did that, we celebrated his birthday on June 25th for many years. Until he decided he wanted it on his actual birthday, so now we do that instead.

    Spawnbroker on
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    AroducAroduc regular
    edited November 2009
    yalborap wrote: »
    Oh I forgot to add something. My birthday is kinda close to christmas (about a month off...so not really), and I'd always get the "Happy birthday/christmas!" gifts, or birthday gifts wrapped in Christmas paper.

    You ain't got shit on my brother. His birthday is Christmas day.

    D:

    You should see my family.

    Kid brother's birthday? December 7th.

    Dad's? December 26th.

    Mine? January 3rd.

    My mom's? February 16th.

    It's UNHOLY.

    I'm early November. My brother's November 26th. My sister's December 17th. My mother's January 5th. My father's January 8th. And an uncle's December 25th.

    It's a packed season.

    Aroduc on
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    adytumadytum The Inevitable Rise And FallRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    When I was a kid things were fine.

    When I entered high school / college and beyond, every year became "I would have rather gotten nothing."

    I'm just difficult to buy things for. I make enough money that I don't want for the cheap stuff, so that leaves the really expensive stuff and I would never ask anyone to buy anything expensive for me.

    Last year was my favorite. I told my ex specifically, repeatedly, DO NOT BUY ME A BLUETOOTH HEADSET. I knew exactly the model I wanted (it's expensive) and my phone was broken and not working with bluetooth.

    So she got me a throwaway bluetooth headset. I was as nice as I could be but I was furious.

    Luckily my mom has figured out cool stuff to get me. She's a year behind on presents but last year she got me cooking classes that we took together this year.

    adytum on
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    GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    The worst we've ever gotten... well, we have this one side of our family that in 2006 gave us $5 gas cards.

    Then in 2007, they decided that Christmas is something you outgrow at age 18. But, magnanimously, they would give us something anyway:

    Tiny bags of candy. Like, 12 individual pieces of Hershey's Kisses and Andes Candies and such. I counted them myself. 12.

    We do not exchange gifts with that side of the family anymore. (Yes, they did that to our entire half of the family: me, my brother, my mom and dad, my sister-in-law. All five of us.)

    Gosling on
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    JimpyJimpy Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I got my dad a machete for his birthday. He keeps it in his car. This is why you find random machetes around in L4D2.

    Jimpy on
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    ReznikReznik Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    My aunt used to get me awesome gifts when I was a kid, like this rad megablocks castle set and just cool toys in general. But I guess as I got older she kind of lost her awesome gift giving instinct. You see if we are having a conversation about something popular, and I happen to not like it, she will only remember that we had the conversation about that thing and not my feelings about that thing.

    So a couple years back when Eragon was the in thing, it came up in conversation how I think it's derivative garbage written by some untalented hack. That Christmas, I get the first 2 books in the series.

    Last year, my aunt's all in to Family guy and I mention that it's just not my kind of humour. Well, I probably used stronger language since I absolutely despise Family Guy. Anyway her and my mom are down in the States on Black Friday doing Christmas shopping and my mom picks up Scrubs season 2 (yay, Scrubs is awesome!) and my aunt goes 'no, no, I'll get her this! she loves Family guy!' and picks up Family Guy season 4.

    I still have both of those in the plastic wrap buried somewhere in my room.

    I swear, if I end up with Twilight this year....

    Reznik on
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    emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I gave a friend from college a coffee mug. She was starting as a teacher so the mug had something inspirational for teachers written on it. I felt guilty on the way over to her apartment because I knew it was a lame gift BUT! the joke was on me. She gave me my present first - a green coffee mug.

    emnmnme on
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    Element BrianElement Brian Peanut Butter Shill Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Qliphoth wrote: »
    For years my parents and my aunts and uncles would give my family and cousins gift vouchers because seriously fuck buying for a bunch of individual 12-17 year olds. Until one year when I was 17 my aunty and uncle bought me a frisbee. After asking me whether I wanted a frisbee. And me saying no I did not want a frisbee, I had several from when I was a small child and actually wanted to use that kinda crap. I wasn't the kind of teenager that played sports and I can only assume this was some misguided attempt to get me off video games and outside like their sport obsessed kids. Still, getting me a gift after I specifically said no I did not want that like a month before was pretty douchey.

    Those assholes.

    Element Brian on
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    adytumadytum The Inevitable Rise And FallRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Oh and also last Christmas

    My girlfriend at the time saw aI jewelry organizer my mom had and said she needed something exactly like that. And she did, her jewelry organizer was way too small.

    So I shopped around and found a nice one for about $80, similar to what my mom has.

    She was so pissed when I gave it to her and flipped out on me.

    That was the best/worst I've ever given and the first/last time I ever spend a lot of time and thought on a present!

    adytum on
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    Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I got a card explaining the risks of genital herpes from oral sex from a great-aunt.

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I got a card explaining the risks of genital herpes from oral sex from a great-aunt.

    The syntax makes that sentence potentially more horrifying than it should be. =)

    Chanus on
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    Element BrianElement Brian Peanut Butter Shill Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I got a card explaining the risks of genital herpes from oral sex from a great-aunt.

    She sent it because she cares.

    Element Brian on
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    Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Basically anything anyone outside my immediate family gives me can be relied upon to be terrible.

    My grandparents on my mother's side have at least figured out that a two pound can of mixed nuts is a safe gift choice, but from everyone else (and them until recently) I can expect a stream of stupid daily calendars, ugly and/or ill-fitting clothing, and strange books.

    Eat it You Nasty Pig. on
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    emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    I got a card explaining the risks of genital herpes from oral sex from a great-aunt.

    She sent it because she cares.

    Was it an informative brochure or was it one of those cards where your great-aunt can record her message and it plays when you open it. Because the latter is definitely funnier ... "Merry Christmas! And remember, placing your mouth on suspicious-looking genitals puts you at risk for herpes! Lots of love, your great-aunt Flo."

    emnmnme on
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    Orochi_RockmanOrochi_Rockman __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2009
    When I turned 20 my parents were out of town and forgot about my birthday, so they brought me a painting from their condo in florida for my present.

    ...a painting I bought for them the year before for Christmas to go in their new condo. When I told them, they said that they had both completely forgotten where that painting came from and assumed it was in the condo when they bought it.

    Orochi_Rockman on
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    Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited November 2009
    emnmnme wrote: »
    I got a card explaining the risks of genital herpes from oral sex from a great-aunt.

    She sent it because she cares.

    Was it an informative brochure or was it one of those cards where your great-aunt can record her message and it plays when you open it. Because the latter is definitely funnier ... "Merry Christmas! And remember, placing your mouth on suspicious-looking genitals puts you at risk for herpes! Lots of love, your great-aunt Flo."

    It was a business card for a Florida restaurant, and the warning was written in black pen.

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
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    OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    The worst I can really do is my friends in college who thought it would be funny to buy me Van Helsing for my birthday after I wrote a 5 page paper for one of my classes on how horrid a movie it was.

    OptimusZed on
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    ScalfinScalfin __BANNED USERS regular
    edited November 2009
    Qliphoth wrote: »
    For years my parents and my aunts and uncles would give my family and cousins gift vouchers because seriously fuck buying for a bunch of individual 12-17 year olds. Until one year when I was 17 my aunty and uncle bought me a frisbee. After asking me whether I wanted a frisbee. And me saying no I did not want a frisbee, I had several from when I was a small child and actually wanted to use that kinda crap. I wasn't the kind of teenager that played sports and I can only assume this was some misguided attempt to get me off video games and outside like their sport obsessed kids. Still, getting me a gift after I specifically said no I did not want that like a month before was pretty douchey.

    Those assholes.

    It's like taking out some money, burning it in front of you, and expecting thanks.

    Scalfin on
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    Kipling217Kipling217 Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Worst present? Got to be Dune: House Atreides by Kevin J Anderson and Herbert's son and the worst part is that I brought it on myself.

    I saw it in the stores before Chrismas and thought that would be a great present to get. So I said so to my family. My Family took the Hint and got me the Hardcover version.

    Then I read it........ D:D:D:D:D:D:

    I don't know wich specific member of my family that gave it to me. Was it my Dad or one of my sisters? I don't know. The reason I don't know is because I have blocked it out. Its not their fault I wanted it and it would be unfair of me to carry a grudge.

    In other news Kevin J Anderson can die in a fire.

    Kipling217 on
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    MandaManda Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    My grandmother, God rest her soul, became decidedly more hit-or-miss when she got older. Last year she got my husband and me:
    - Two James Bond dvds (for him)
    - Gold/opal necklace and earring set (for me)
    - His and hers PedEggs
    - Matching Snuggies with booklights

    Manda on
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    AlyceInWonderlandAlyceInWonderland Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Manda wrote: »
    - His and hers PedEggs
    Those things freak me the fuck out.


    Mmm foot flakes.

    D:

    AlyceInWonderland on
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    Mr. PokeylopeMr. Pokeylope Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    After I told my family I didn't believe in god anymore my Aunt gave me a bible for Christmas. When I opened the gift she grabbed my shoulder and told me they were praying for me.

    My dad gave me the same 2 books, 2 years in a row.

    Mr. Pokeylope on
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    KirbithKirbith I appear to be made of delicious cake. Registered User regular
    edited November 2009
    Manda wrote: »
    - His and hers PedEggs
    Those things freak me the fuck out.


    Mmm foot flakes.

    D:

    Agreed! They creep me the hell out. Especially when they show them emptying it in the commercial. D:

    So worst gift? Let's see. There's my grandpa, whose house I always had to go to on christmas. Now when my grandma was alive, she'd always get me a $20 or whatever gift card to a bookstore. Awesome present, everyone knows I love to read, and that way I could pick out something I wanted to read. My grandpa though, has taken it upon himself to give me two things. A small amount of chocolate, which I don't eat, and a can of peanuts, which I don't eat. For at least five years in a row. After the second time, I made it a point to say I like neither. Yea.

    Oh and there was xmas one year when I was in high school. I have only one sibling, and older brother, and my parents had bought him a brand new, very nice computer upon graduating high school (He was three years older than me). So my mom had told me, for xmas that year, they would get me a new computer. Nothing as nice as his, of course, which he ultimately ruined by downloading porn, great job, but a computer nonetheless. And also, they were buying him an expensive plan ticket/ vacation to see a friend several states away, so they were spending about $500 on him for xmas. I had picked out a computer I wanted, and my mom had agreed that she would pay for $250 of it, and I would have to pay the rest. Bullshit but whatever. She got me a completely different computer, a piece of shit that barely worked. And I still had to pay the other half, about $250. Oh and what did I get upon graduating high school? A $100 digital camera. It's not bad or anything, but yea. My parents kind of suck when it comes to fairness.

    Oh, one more. My brothers birthday is a month before mine. His is at the end of march, mine at the end of april. He got a pretty decent gift one year, I'd say a $100 gift card or so to best buy. My birthday comes around, all I asked for was an ice cream cake, because they are quite tasty. And I was turning I think $14, so I don't think that's too much to ask. My mom said no and I got nothing that year. Yay.

    Kirbith on
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