So my lady problems are well documented.
This isn't a problem but I'm just a bit confused. Obviously from my past I've made myself a little more hesitant to be trusting and to find better people to be around.
Met this girl at the Matt and Kim concert at the beginning of the year. Got drunk with her, continued to talk and hang out. Things moved too fast for the both of us, we slowed down and things got a lot better. Slowly became a relationship. She went to Thanksgiving dinner with me and she's flying me up to Connecticut so we can drive her car back to Oklahoma. We're comfortable with each other, chill, no drama. Exactly what I need. She doesn't feel like a girlfriend in a lot of ways because she's not picky, she's not a huge bitch and she doesn't demand my attention all of the time.
The other day we were just kinda grating on each others nerves, no big deal and we just kinda laughed it off.
We went to my buddy's house, played bp, drank, hung out. There were some guys there I didn't know, but that's not unexpected at his house because he's friends with a lot of people. And my lady, she's a likable gal and gets along with everyone, strikes up conversation easily and so on and so forth.
And with my experience in cheating it'd be easy for me to be jealous or always be watching her, but I trust her and never really bother. I know she's coming home with me at the end of the night and she's just making friends.
Saturday was a bit different. One of these guys (I don't think he even drank that much, but he was acting like he had) was on the couch with her as we were waiting to go to another party. He started kind of laying on the couch towards her. I didn't think anything of it, no need to assume and freak out for no reason. So I went outside where everyone was smoking and came back in to let her know we were gonna leave whenever she was ready. She offered to leave then and I said she could finish talking and just let me know. The guy was kind of looking seedy. So as I left I saw his arm behind her... and as I was walking away I saw him put it around her.
I went outside because I was hoping that when I came back in it wouldn't be there. I come back in a few later and it's still there. So I ask him if he's fucking serious. He jumps back and is afraid because he's been caught. Claims he's drunk, so on and so forth and we decided to leave.
I ask her outside what that was about because I'm pretty upset she'd never said anything to get him to stop. She said it meant nothing and her excuse was, "Well we were leaving soon anyway." I asked her what she meant and she said that because we were leaving soon, she knew it wasn't going to go anywhere. I asked her if that justified her not saying anything and she kinda felt like it did.
Both were drunk. I was too. She talks to her ex consistently and is close friends with guys. That's never bothered with me because she's not a bitch like my ex. I've never been suspicious or anything until this event.
We talked. We've both been cheated on and have cheated before. Neither of us want either of that but she really couldn't say why she didn't say anything. She was upset and said she'd been upset had she been in my shoes. She said it was her fault and, in the end, didn't know why she didn't say anything.
So... I ask what do I do? How do I handle the situation? I like this girl a lot and have never had a problem trusting her completely. But just because of my past with my exes this makes me really worried and anxious.
Forgive and forget has burned me multiple times in the past. But being angry about it seems dumb because it was a mistake.
I'm not sure... thanks in advance guys.
(No need to bring up the past gf posts. It's not about them, but this new situation. Because of the past, though I don't want to get burned again.)
TL, DR; Like new girl a lot. No problem trusting her at all. She lets some guy put his arm around her and rub her back and never says anything until I intervene. She says nothing was going to happen so that's why she let it go on. I call... bs? Not sure.