So wait, there are people who simply refuse to tell their children ANYTHING about Santa Claus? That doesn't make a single bit of sense - You don't want to lie to the kid, but you don't want to tell the truth either? Why wouldn't they simply explain about how he's imaginary?
I don't think these people actually exist. People start hallucinating when you "attack" Santa, it seems.
So it's like the War on Christmas?
Noooooooooo, please don't bring that up.
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KalTorakOne way or another, they all end up inthe Undercity.Registered Userregular
So wait, there are people who simply refuse to tell their children ANYTHING about Santa Claus? That doesn't make a single bit of sense - You don't want to lie to the kid, but you don't want to tell the truth either? Why wouldn't they simply explain about how he's imaginary?
I don't think these people actually exist. People start hallucinating when you "attack" Santa, it seems.
oh these people definitely exist. my wife's sister is one of them. they're old school, orthodox christians, so santa is totally all heretical christmas usurper. and no, we don't talk about heretics.
also, since her husband went atheist, she's gone nuts. doesn't like to deal with the world outside the church-reality.
I guess making the point that Christianity itself is pretty free with usurping stuff from other religions would be a lost cause, ya?
If you switch the fantasy, it seems ridiculous. Instead of telling them about a fat man that gives them presents, imagine telling kids that time travel is real or that unicorns live in Australia. Now it just seems malicious (at least to me). Why not tell kids about the awesome things in the world that ARE true? Give them an idea of the awesome things that could actually be a possibility for them to experience in their lives? I'm not talking about taking away their ability to imagine or indulge in fantasies, just directing them in ways that won't inevitably lead to the unveiling of a lie.
Why not tell them both about awesome things that are unreal and awesome things that are real?
It's possible to tell your kids about Santa, and later reveal the truth, in a way that doesn't lead to your children distrusting everything you say.
I don't care that much about the distrust. I worry more about sanctioning childhood as this wonderful time when everything is perfect, but is slowly eroded as you get older. In my mind, this sets up your adulthood as this time you spend pining for times when everything was great.
Man, I sound really jaded in text, but I swear to you that I'm not really that up at arms about the Santa thing.
Childhood sucks.
You can't stay up as late as you want. You can't drive. You have no money. You need to ask permission to do almost anything. You can't go anywhere without a chaperone. You have no freedom. Everything's perfect? Man, whatever.
Why not add a little wonder to make up for all the crap?
"Everything's perfect" was a shitty generalization, sorry. I disagree with you, but maybe it will be different if/when I have kids. For what it's worth, I don't really plan to.
So wait, there are people who simply refuse to tell their children ANYTHING about Santa Claus? That doesn't make a single bit of sense - You don't want to lie to the kid, but you don't want to tell the truth either? Why wouldn't they simply explain about how he's imaginary?
I don't think these people actually exist. People start hallucinating when you "attack" Santa, it seems.
oh these people definitely exist. my wife's sister is one of them. they're old school, orthodox christians, so santa is totally all heretical christmas usurper. and no, we don't talk about heretics.
also, since her husband went atheist, she's gone nuts. doesn't like to deal with the world outside the church-reality.
I guess making the point that Christianity itself is pretty free with usurping stuff from other religions would be a lost cause, ya?
i tend to avoid getting into ANY religious discussion. their father is a priest. so... live and let live.
I don't recall much being said about Santa in my house -- I always knew Christmas presents were coming from my parents/family, and was still just as super excited about Christmas as any other kid. I'd still go to bed hours early on Christmas Eve just so Christmas morning would come faster and all that. The occasional gift would be labeled "from Santa" (something we still do), but we always knew it was all in jest.
I don't think it's such a bad thing to teach kids to be grateful to the people they're really receiving stuff from. Maybe that's "vanity," I dunno. Like I said, Christmas wasn't any less amazing because of the lack of Santa. And I enjoyed accompanying my mom Christmas shopping from a young age on, which would have been kind of confusing had my parents insisted that only gifts to me and my brother were from Santa, and gifts for other people (including kids) in the family were from them.
I wasn't raised to believe in Santa and we always opened our gifts on Christmas Eve as a family. It was a pretty exciting time as a kid, and I can't believe it would've been made better by thinking that an overweight elderly man breaking into my house and giving me presents based on my behaviors that he'd spied on the whole year. I thought Santa was pretty dumb as a kid and remember wondering how anyone else could believe in it. However, I did not spoil it for anyone else though and kept my mouth shut.
Can anyone posting honestly say they were hurt when they found out Santa wasn't real?
I'm pretty sure out of all the horrible things parents can do to their children, lying about Santa is pretty low on the scale. Hell, most children figure it out by the time they are old enough to read.
If you switch the fantasy, it seems ridiculous. Instead of telling them about a fat man that gives them presents, imagine telling kids that time travel is real or that unicorns live in Australia. Now it just seems malicious (at least to me). Why not tell kids about the awesome things in the world that ARE true? Give them an idea of the awesome things that could actually be a possibility for them to experience in their lives? I'm not talking about taking away their ability to imagine or indulge in fantasies, just directing them in ways that won't inevitably lead to the unveiling of a lie.
Why not tell them both about awesome things that are unreal and awesome things that are real?
It's possible to tell your kids about Santa, and later reveal the truth, in a way that doesn't lead to your children distrusting everything you say.
I don't care that much about the distrust. I worry more about sanctioning childhood as this wonderful time when everything is perfect, but is slowly eroded as you get older. In my mind, this sets up your adulthood as this time you spend pining for times when everything was great.
Man, I sound really jaded in text, but I swear to you that I'm not really that up at arms about the Santa thing.
Childhood sucks.
You can't stay up as late as you want. You can't drive. You have no money. You need to ask permission to do almost anything. You can't go anywhere without a chaperone. You have no freedom. Everything's perfect? Man, whatever.
Why not add a little wonder to make up for all the crap?
"Everything's perfect" was a shitty generalization, sorry. I disagree with you, but maybe it will be different if/when I have kids. For what it's worth, I don't really plan to.
I don't think it's really a big deal either way. I think children will find their own magic to believe in, whatever their parents tell them. They will hear things at school, they will see things on television. If all else fails, they will create their own wonderment from whole cloth.
Children have incredible imaginations, coupled with inexperience with how the world really works. Those two things together will create some pretty amazing worlds that are impervious to whatever logic we, as adults, try to throw at them.
ElJeffe on
I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
If you switch the fantasy, it seems ridiculous. Instead of telling them about a fat man that gives them presents, imagine telling kids that time travel is real or that unicorns live in Australia. Now it just seems malicious (at least to me). Why not tell kids about the awesome things in the world that ARE true? Give them an idea of the awesome things that could actually be a possibility for them to experience in their lives? I'm not talking about taking away their ability to imagine or indulge in fantasies, just directing them in ways that won't inevitably lead to the unveiling of a lie.
Why not tell them both about awesome things that are unreal and awesome things that are real?
It's possible to tell your kids about Santa, and later reveal the truth, in a way that doesn't lead to your children distrusting everything you say.
I don't care that much about the distrust. I worry more about sanctioning childhood as this wonderful time when everything is perfect, but is slowly eroded as you get older. In my mind, this sets up your adulthood as this time you spend pining for times when everything was great.
Man, I sound really jaded in text, but I swear to you that I'm not really that up at arms about the Santa thing.
Childhood sucks.
You can't stay up as late as you want. You can't drive. You have no money. You need to ask permission to do almost anything. You can't go anywhere without a chaperone. You have no freedom. Everything's perfect? Man, whatever.
Why not add a little wonder to make up for all the crap?
"Everything's perfect" was a shitty generalization, sorry. I disagree with you, but maybe it will be different if/when I have kids. For what it's worth, I don't really plan to.
I don't think it's really a big deal either way. I think children will find their own magic to believe in, whatever their parents tell them. They will hear things at school, they will see things on television. If all else fails, they will create their own wonderment from whole cloth.
Children have incredible imaginations, coupled with inexperience with how the world really works. Those two things together will create some pretty amazing worlds that are impervious to whatever logic we, as adults, try to throw at them.
You really shouldn't throw things at your children.
You really shouldn't throw things at your children.
I laughed. Good one.
Funny how this came up. The wife and I are expecting soon and have had this conversation a few times. I think the answer is still a "don't know". I don't want to be all "THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SANTA!", but I don't really want to say there is either. Maybe we'll try just not really mentioning it. Treat it as not a big deal. When the kid gets old enough to ask, maybe sort of walk them through it by asking questions like "well, what do you think?" etc. similar to what someone else in the thread did.
When I found out there was no Santa I was confused and a little betrayed. I kept asking my parents why they'd deceive me like that, but never got a solid answer. I don't think they had a reason beyond "everyone else is doing it".
I sure as hell wouldn't do that to any kid I was responsible for.
A man who lives in the middle of the arctic who's sole profession and goal in his eternal life is to decide who does and doesn't get a bunch of toys kids will probably forget about or broken in a month. If my kid's been a dick, I'm going to tell him he's not getting anything and there's not a damn thing he can do about it because I've been watching, not Santa, and I call the shots.
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Gennenalyse RuebenThe Prettiest Boy is Ridiculously PrettyRegistered Userregular
Why not add a little wonder to make up for all the crap?
Did people really feel wonder about Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc.? Really? As a child I believed in all those fantasy things but what gave me my sense of wonder (and still in fact does) was always what was real. Santa's "amazing magic" always paled in comparison to the real world for me. I've never found the fantastic to be anything more than a weak substitute for the truly amazing and wondrous things in our universe. The formation of our planet; the movement of the continents; the vastness of outer space; the mysteries of human history. Those were the fantastic things I ate up as a kid and those are the fantastic things I eat up now. I've gone through a fair bit of shit in my life and still came out with my sense of wonder intact, I never needed Santa for that.
That's what I'll really teach my hypothetical children. The wonders of the universe, the fantastic details of life, space, the oceans, and history. Santa will be a fun fantasy story for them to enjoy as just that, nothing more.
I'm going to tell my children all sorts of ridiculous lies because it amuses both me and them, and also it will teach them critical thinking skills as they frantically try to separate fantasy from reality. Unicorns in Australia? Damn straight.
I propose that very few of you remember what it's like to be 6 years old. Movement of the continents and human history? Are you serious?
It's fantasy that kids enjoy. When they want to figure out the truth, they'll figure it out. The reason most people aren't upset about finding out is that it probably doesn't come as a big shock by the time they do. Like Jeffe's daughter, they want to enjoy the fantasy as long as they can justify doing so.
Obnviously not, but I do struggle with whether or not to lie to my kids about the tooth fairy. I'll probably end up doing a half-assed job of it, and just admitting the truth to them when they ask me bluntly.
There's a G.K. Chesterton quote that fairy tales exist to teach children that monsters can be defeated that I think of when this topic comes up, though. Because while my parents clearly never taught me about Santa Claus, my father did have me convinced that there were monsters in our house. He did this because he knew that I was already convinced of the existence of monsters (I'm pretty sure that Sesame Street is actually to blame for that). So what he told me was that there were two monsters he specifically hired to live in our house. One of them lived behind the door that housed out sump pump, and the other one lived up in our unfinished and probably very dangerous attic. Thanks to that bit of deceit, I NEVER ventured in to either of these very dangerous areas, when I was little. On top of this, he told me that these monsters were hired SPECIFICALLY to keep other monsters out of the house, and as such, I was never freighted that there might be a monster under my bed, or in my closet, or wherever, because I KNEW that there were other monsters elsewhere in the house, hired to keep them out.
So I guess I don't believe in creating new lies for your children, but I think that using the lies that they already tell themselves for their own benefit is valid.
I also plan to tell my children new and exciting twists on the old tired lies. So instead of the Tooth Fairy, it will be the Tooth Squid. Instead of the Easter Bunny, it will be the Wasp of Chocolate tricking you into implanting his eggs into your stomach.
A man who lives in the middle of the arctic who's sole profession and goal in his eternal life is to decide who does and doesn't get a bunch of toys kids will probably forget about or broken in a month.
Yes, it sounds crazy as an adult, but if you spend a lot of time around young children, you will see that they naturally perceive the world as revolving around them, and as such, a man whose job is to decide if they get toys is not at all odd, because they see every other profession in a similar personalized utilitarian way.
The most adorable example of this is when young kids talk about their schools friends whom you have NEVER met as though you would know them, without introducing who any of these individuals are in the story. It is because, to them, there is just one cast of characters in the world, centering around themselves.
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PasserbyeI am much older than you.in Beach CityRegistered Userregular
edited December 2009
My response is late, and I'll say now I've only read the OP so that's what I'm responding to.
Children are going to have a sense of wonder whether you lie to them or not - they are completely new to the world, so it's all new to them. In my opinion, you don't need to lie to them about anything, 'cause the world we live in is actually pretty cool without embellishment. Just give them a book about undersea creatures and watch the wonder start.
Considering that adults generally only lie about Santa (the Easter Bunny, etc.) for their own vicarious enjoyment of their kid's wonderment, that seems a little disingenuous to me.
That said, the only harm I can see in it is having your kids (potentially - I don't distrust my parents for this) distrust you for something you could have avoided. You're human, so you're going to make enough mistakes as a parent. Why add willful lying to the pile?
My father, an otherwise exceptionally intelligent man, was taught by his mother to retain belief in Santa Claus and the Easter bunny up until he was 13. That kind of shit should not happen.
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Gennenalyse RuebenThe Prettiest Boy is Ridiculously PrettyRegistered Userregular
I propose that very few of you remember what it's like to be 6 years old. Movement of the continents and human history? Are you serious?
Yes. Entirely. At that age, I drew little stories where I would go back in time just to watch this stuff happen with my own eyes. I think I still have them somewhere. I was a weird kid.
Considering that adults generally only lie about Santa (the Easter Bunny, etc.) for their own vicarious enjoyment of their kid's wonderment, that seems a little disingenuous to me.
Because doing things just to watch your kids be really happy and excited is a terrible thing?
That's a new one.
We told our kids there was a Santa for the same reason we take them to Disneyland, play games with them, take them to see movies we know we'll hate, let them eat atrocious piles of mismatched frozen yogurt with unlikely accoutrements (last night: eggnog yogurt swirled with strawberry-banana, covered in peanut butter cups and gummy-bears), take them to the park, buy them random presents, let them choose dinner, or snuggle on the couch with them watching some god-awful children's show on TV - we love them, and derive pleasure from their happiness.
ElJeffe on
I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
I propose that very few of you remember what it's like to be 6 years old. Movement of the continents and human history? Are you serious?
Yes. Entirely. At that age, I drew little stories where I would go back in time just to watch this stuff happen with my own eyes. I think I still have them somewhere. I was a weird kid.
Wait, you told stories involving time travel? And your parents didn't chastise you for reveling in such pseudo-scientific nonsense? That's practically child abuse.
ElJeffe on
I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
At the age of six I had already figured out that magic was BS on my own through experimentation without the involvement of my parents.
You can still DO the holiday stuff without lying about it.
Disneyland is still fun after you find out that Mickey is just a fursuiter.
I was trying to see if I had psychic powers when I was something like sixteen. Just to be sure.
I didn't.
ElJeffe on
I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
I don't know if this is a common thing, but as a kid I sort of always knew that Santa Claus wasn't real, but more of a symbol. But it was something you played along with.
My parents would talk about him as if he were real, but wouldn't go as far as leaving cookies out, saying that he was going to come down the chimney. They just acquainted me with the concept.
Also, when I would 'meet' Santa I would sort of 'know' that it was a man in a costume, but would still treat him with the respect I would give the real thing. I played along.
When I was eight I pretty much decided that he wasn't real and when I told my parents they just said " Yes,
but does it really ruin Christmas? "
I think the problem with Santa Claus is that sometimes parents go too far, they stage things as if it looked like he had been there, they tell their children about him as a fact as much as they would tell you not to talk to strangers. When really they should just be introducing a myth that they can 'play along' with.
Considering that adults generally only lie about Santa (the Easter Bunny, etc.) for their own vicarious enjoyment of their kid's wonderment, that seems a little disingenuous to me.
Because doing things just to watch your kids be really happy and excited is a terrible thing?
That's a new one.
We told our kids there was a Santa for the same reason we take them to Disneyland, play games with them, take them to see movies we know we'll hate, let them eat atrocious piles of mismatched frozen yogurt with unlikely accoutrements (last night: eggnog yogurt swirled with strawberry-banana, covered in peanut butter cups and gummy-bears), take them to the park, buy them random presents, let them choose dinner, or snuggle on the couch with them watching some god-awful children's show on TV - we love them, and derive pleasure from their happiness.
You can love them and make them happy without lying to them. You'll note that even if Santa were crossed off that list, there are still plenty of wonderful things there for them to laugh and giggle and jump up and down about.
Besides, as others have mentioned, kids are plenty good at coming up with their own imaginary fantasy worlds by themselves.
Obnviously not, but I do struggle with whether or not to lie to my kids about the tooth fairy. I'll probably end up doing a half-assed job of it, and just admitting the truth to them when they ask me bluntly.
There's a G.K. Chesterton quote that fairy tales exist to teach children that monsters can be defeated that I think of when this topic comes up, though. Because while my parents clearly never taught me about Santa Claus, my father did have me convinced that there were monsters in our house. He did this because he knew that I was already convinced of the existence of monsters (I'm pretty sure that Sesame Street is actually to blame for that). So what he told me was that there were two monsters he specifically hired to live in our house. One of them lived behind the door that housed out sump pump, and the other one lived up in our unfinished and probably very dangerous attic. Thanks to that bit of deceit, I NEVER ventured in to either of these very dangerous areas, when I was little. On top of this, he told me that these monsters were hired SPECIFICALLY to keep other monsters out of the house, and as such, I was never freighted that there might be a monster under my bed, or in my closet, or wherever, because I KNEW that there were other monsters elsewhere in the house, hired to keep them out.
So I guess I don't believe in creating new lies for your children, but I think that using the lies that they already tell themselves for their own benefit is valid.
This is pretty awesome and I'm having fun picturing these monster bouncers.
Obnviously not, but I do struggle with whether or not to lie to my kids about the tooth fairy. I'll probably end up doing a half-assed job of it, and just admitting the truth to them when they ask me bluntly.
There's a G.K. Chesterton quote that fairy tales exist to teach children that monsters can be defeated that I think of when this topic comes up, though. Because while my parents clearly never taught me about Santa Claus, my father did have me convinced that there were monsters in our house. He did this because he knew that I was already convinced of the existence of monsters (I'm pretty sure that Sesame Street is actually to blame for that). So what he told me was that there were two monsters he specifically hired to live in our house. One of them lived behind the door that housed out sump pump, and the other one lived up in our unfinished and probably very dangerous attic. Thanks to that bit of deceit, I NEVER ventured in to either of these very dangerous areas, when I was little. On top of this, he told me that these monsters were hired SPECIFICALLY to keep other monsters out of the house, and as such, I was never freighted that there might be a monster under my bed, or in my closet, or wherever, because I KNEW that there were other monsters elsewhere in the house, hired to keep them out.
So I guess I don't believe in creating new lies for your children, but I think that using the lies that they already tell themselves for their own benefit is valid.
This is pretty awesome and I'm having fun picturing these monster bouncers.
He gave them names, too, which I have since forgotten.
My father was pretty awesome with us when we were little. I know that he can't wait for us to have kids of our own, so he can do it all over again with his grandchildren.
I'm 29 and my parents still pull the Santa thing on me. I'll go up to their house christmas eve for dinner and all the presents will be under the tree, but then when I show up again the next day there's "magically" some more presents there and they insist they didn't get them for me.
I just roll my eyes and smile. Of course I know there's no such thing, and of course they know I know. But they still just do it 'just because'. My kids though, should I ever adopt any. I dunno. I don't think I could look my kid straight in the eyes and lie to them about anything. No matter how innocent and harmless my intentions.
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PasserbyeI am much older than you.in Beach CityRegistered Userregular
edited December 2009
I remember being confused about the Tooth Fairy (I never understood why she would want teeth), especially since I figured out early on that it was my mother swapping the tooth for the quarter (she's not good at walking quietly). My parents had always said you get good things when you work for them, but then here I was getting (in my five-year-old eyes) a fortune for something that I had no control over.
I guess this was a good lesson for dealing with the world as a grown up, since people get things they don't actually work for all the time.
Wait, you told stories involving time travel? And your parents didn't chastise you for reveling in such pseudo-scientific nonsense? That's practically child abuse.
Well, "told stories" is kind of an overstatement of what they were. They were terrible little drawn images with "I go bak to se the dinosaurs" or "I goto ancient Egept" subtitling them. I also started drawing up world maps with cities and borders on them after I played Civilization 1 back when I was like 6.
And it's not like I'm not going to let whatever hypothetical children I might have encounter fantastic stories (as if that were even possible). I just won't teach any to them as though they were real. I'd probably make up stories just for them, even.
Kids still get excited and are joyful about the season regardless of what you tell them about Santa. I never told my son about Santa, but I didn't ever tell him he didn't exist, either. He learned enough about Santa from other kids and television shows without me bribing or threatening him, or asking him to write letters or bake cookies. He likes being surprised by the presents and thinking about what he's going to get and generally appreciates his gifts irrespective of how he got them.
Also, snow and no school makes it extra fun.
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Noooooooooo, please don't bring that up.
I guess making the point that Christianity itself is pretty free with usurping stuff from other religions would be a lost cause, ya?
"Everything's perfect" was a shitty generalization, sorry. I disagree with you, but maybe it will be different if/when I have kids. For what it's worth, I don't really plan to.
i tend to avoid getting into ANY religious discussion. their father is a priest. so... live and let live.
I don't think it's such a bad thing to teach kids to be grateful to the people they're really receiving stuff from. Maybe that's "vanity," I dunno. Like I said, Christmas wasn't any less amazing because of the lack of Santa. And I enjoyed accompanying my mom Christmas shopping from a young age on, which would have been kind of confusing had my parents insisted that only gifts to me and my brother were from Santa, and gifts for other people (including kids) in the family were from them.
I'm pretty sure out of all the horrible things parents can do to their children, lying about Santa is pretty low on the scale. Hell, most children figure it out by the time they are old enough to read.
I don't think it's really a big deal either way. I think children will find their own magic to believe in, whatever their parents tell them. They will hear things at school, they will see things on television. If all else fails, they will create their own wonderment from whole cloth.
Children have incredible imaginations, coupled with inexperience with how the world really works. Those two things together will create some pretty amazing worlds that are impervious to whatever logic we, as adults, try to throw at them.
You really shouldn't throw things at your children.
I laughed. Good one.
Funny how this came up. The wife and I are expecting soon and have had this conversation a few times. I think the answer is still a "don't know". I don't want to be all "THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SANTA!", but I don't really want to say there is either. Maybe we'll try just not really mentioning it. Treat it as not a big deal. When the kid gets old enough to ask, maybe sort of walk them through it by asking questions like "well, what do you think?" etc. similar to what someone else in the thread did.
PSN : Bolthorn
I sure as hell wouldn't do that to any kid I was responsible for.
Did people really feel wonder about Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc.? Really? As a child I believed in all those fantasy things but what gave me my sense of wonder (and still in fact does) was always what was real. Santa's "amazing magic" always paled in comparison to the real world for me. I've never found the fantastic to be anything more than a weak substitute for the truly amazing and wondrous things in our universe. The formation of our planet; the movement of the continents; the vastness of outer space; the mysteries of human history. Those were the fantastic things I ate up as a kid and those are the fantastic things I eat up now. I've gone through a fair bit of shit in my life and still came out with my sense of wonder intact, I never needed Santa for that.
That's what I'll really teach my hypothetical children. The wonders of the universe, the fantastic details of life, space, the oceans, and history. Santa will be a fun fantasy story for them to enjoy as just that, nothing more.
It also might be because my dad used to tell me that, if I didn't wear my yarmulke in the synagogue sanctuary, Yahweh would strike me with lightning.
It's fantasy that kids enjoy. When they want to figure out the truth, they'll figure it out. The reason most people aren't upset about finding out is that it probably doesn't come as a big shock by the time they do. Like Jeffe's daughter, they want to enjoy the fantasy as long as they can justify doing so.
There's a G.K. Chesterton quote that fairy tales exist to teach children that monsters can be defeated that I think of when this topic comes up, though. Because while my parents clearly never taught me about Santa Claus, my father did have me convinced that there were monsters in our house. He did this because he knew that I was already convinced of the existence of monsters (I'm pretty sure that Sesame Street is actually to blame for that). So what he told me was that there were two monsters he specifically hired to live in our house. One of them lived behind the door that housed out sump pump, and the other one lived up in our unfinished and probably very dangerous attic. Thanks to that bit of deceit, I NEVER ventured in to either of these very dangerous areas, when I was little. On top of this, he told me that these monsters were hired SPECIFICALLY to keep other monsters out of the house, and as such, I was never freighted that there might be a monster under my bed, or in my closet, or wherever, because I KNEW that there were other monsters elsewhere in the house, hired to keep them out.
So I guess I don't believe in creating new lies for your children, but I think that using the lies that they already tell themselves for their own benefit is valid.
I seem to recall being very interested in dinosaurs and such at that age.
Yes, it sounds crazy as an adult, but if you spend a lot of time around young children, you will see that they naturally perceive the world as revolving around them, and as such, a man whose job is to decide if they get toys is not at all odd, because they see every other profession in a similar personalized utilitarian way.
The most adorable example of this is when young kids talk about their schools friends whom you have NEVER met as though you would know them, without introducing who any of these individuals are in the story. It is because, to them, there is just one cast of characters in the world, centering around themselves.
Children are going to have a sense of wonder whether you lie to them or not - they are completely new to the world, so it's all new to them. In my opinion, you don't need to lie to them about anything, 'cause the world we live in is actually pretty cool without embellishment. Just give them a book about undersea creatures and watch the wonder start.
Considering that adults generally only lie about Santa (the Easter Bunny, etc.) for their own vicarious enjoyment of their kid's wonderment, that seems a little disingenuous to me.
That said, the only harm I can see in it is having your kids (potentially - I don't distrust my parents for this) distrust you for something you could have avoided. You're human, so you're going to make enough mistakes as a parent. Why add willful lying to the pile?
Face Twit Rav Gram
Yes. Entirely. At that age, I drew little stories where I would go back in time just to watch this stuff happen with my own eyes. I think I still have them somewhere. I was a weird kid.
Because doing things just to watch your kids be really happy and excited is a terrible thing?
That's a new one.
We told our kids there was a Santa for the same reason we take them to Disneyland, play games with them, take them to see movies we know we'll hate, let them eat atrocious piles of mismatched frozen yogurt with unlikely accoutrements (last night: eggnog yogurt swirled with strawberry-banana, covered in peanut butter cups and gummy-bears), take them to the park, buy them random presents, let them choose dinner, or snuggle on the couch with them watching some god-awful children's show on TV - we love them, and derive pleasure from their happiness.
Also sharks.
You can still DO the holiday stuff without lying about it.
Disneyland is still fun after you find out that Mickey is just a fursuiter.
Wait, you told stories involving time travel? And your parents didn't chastise you for reveling in such pseudo-scientific nonsense? That's practically child abuse.
I was trying to see if I had psychic powers when I was something like sixteen. Just to be sure.
Liar.
My parents would talk about him as if he were real, but wouldn't go as far as leaving cookies out, saying that he was going to come down the chimney. They just acquainted me with the concept.
Also, when I would 'meet' Santa I would sort of 'know' that it was a man in a costume, but would still treat him with the respect I would give the real thing. I played along.
When I was eight I pretty much decided that he wasn't real and when I told my parents they just said " Yes,
but does it really ruin Christmas? "
I think the problem with Santa Claus is that sometimes parents go too far, they stage things as if it looked like he had been there, they tell their children about him as a fact as much as they would tell you not to talk to strangers. When really they should just be introducing a myth that they can 'play along' with.
I will tell my kids about Santa Claus.
Space is freaking awesome and is freaking awesome at any age. Anybody who disagrees is going to get shanked by my inner child.
You can love them and make them happy without lying to them. You'll note that even if Santa were crossed off that list, there are still plenty of wonderful things there for them to laugh and giggle and jump up and down about.
Besides, as others have mentioned, kids are plenty good at coming up with their own imaginary fantasy worlds by themselves.
Face Twit Rav Gram
This is pretty awesome and I'm having fun picturing these monster bouncers.
He gave them names, too, which I have since forgotten.
My father was pretty awesome with us when we were little. I know that he can't wait for us to have kids of our own, so he can do it all over again with his grandchildren.
I just roll my eyes and smile. Of course I know there's no such thing, and of course they know I know. But they still just do it 'just because'. My kids though, should I ever adopt any. I dunno. I don't think I could look my kid straight in the eyes and lie to them about anything. No matter how innocent and harmless my intentions.
I guess this was a good lesson for dealing with the world as a grown up, since people get things they don't actually work for all the time.
Face Twit Rav Gram
Well, "told stories" is kind of an overstatement of what they were. They were terrible little drawn images with "I go bak to se the dinosaurs" or "I goto ancient Egept" subtitling them. I also started drawing up world maps with cities and borders on them after I played Civilization 1 back when I was like 6.
And it's not like I'm not going to let whatever hypothetical children I might have encounter fantastic stories (as if that were even possible). I just won't teach any to them as though they were real. I'd probably make up stories just for them, even.
Also, snow and no school makes it extra fun.