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The Guiding Principles and New Rules
document is now in effect.
critique my OKCupid profile, too!
Posts
There you go. If you incorporate these things to your dating profile, I guarantee that you will do so much better that it isn't even funny.
"don't convey low social status", because it reeks of lying about what you do for a living. If there is one thing nearly all humans like in potential love interests it is honesty. There is nothing shameful about working in a factory or flipping burgers, you're just making a living.
"do understand that women are flaky", because it reeks of sexism. It's not just women who are flaky, everyone can be flaky.
"bad boy image", if you are not bad don't start acting like you are in an attempt to pull in girls, it's dishonest and it's not like EVERYONE likes "bad boys". Be your self and show who that is exactly on your profile.
Also, the general point of making sure you also tell people reading your profile what *you* are looking for is a valid point, but to call the people you do are not looking for'crazy chicks' or 'short shrivvled maggots' is the sort language and thinking you should try to avoid. If people you are interested in find out that you look down on others like that chances are that they will think less of you. There should be no reason for you to even look at other people like that in the first place, but that might be my egalitarian upbringing shining through...
What was meant here is that you don't convey things in bad way. I.e. I'm programmer, which is probably most unsexiest job possible. When ladies ask me about my job, I don't answer "I'm programmer", but "You remember those educational Moppi math programs? I'm guy behind those". Notice difference? Same thing, but different reality. Remember also that being ambitious and having goals is almost as attractive than actually being rich.
Well, this advice is meant for men. The point here is that you can't always except things go your way, and surprises do happen.
Oh, this is true. Bad boy is more about being challenging. Unlike general dating myths say, women do like nice men. But what they don't like is insecure, un-confident guys who allow everyone to trample over them. This is why you need to be the asshole for first 15 seconds. Think it as a type of flirting, nothing else.
It is more than that, it is goddamn effective.
just what do people typically say in messages? I don't like sending out anything shallow or pointless, but both times I've messaged profiles I found interesting(usually commenting on an aspect of it), there was no answer. Am I just saying the wrong things?
EDIT: Similar users to me: NotAFelon-Yet is less adventurous.
McGibs: I like your profile, again it's true to you and yea there are some cliched things in it but it's a dating site and pretty much everyone has at least one cliche on their profile. Good pics.
B:L: Your 6 Things is terrible and on that alone I wouldn't message you or reply to one. This is a good example of way too much cliche.
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Klorgnum : Short, simple and not overloaded with crap that really isn't that funny I like your profile. I hate having to read through a bunch of crap that the person probably thinks it witty when it's junk. Just get a damn picture, no one ever wants to talk to the guy without a picture.
Your profile is pretty good. The only thing that I think needs fixing is your summary. Don't literally write a summary. It is the first thing someone reads when they click on your profile. Open it up with something entertaining. You can take a look at mine if you want. I've had pretty decent success with OK Cupid and there aren't too many matches near me because I'm nowhere near a major metropolitan area.
And I'll agree with some of the other points made. Get some candid pictures of you playing with other people. Women love that, provided your friends aren't all repulsive freaks. Also, do see a stylist for your hair. I'm not saying to "style" it, like get highlights or shit like that, but it's obvious that you just let it grow. The length is fine, but it is big hair, which isn't the best. It's a distinctly late 80s/early 90s style. Metallica, Slayer, and many grunge bands had hair like that. Cool to guys, yes, but not attractive to women. Ideally, you'd just get it cleaned up so it sits better.
For reference, here's the last big OK Cupid thread with links to the others as well.
http://forums.penny-arcade.com/showthread.php?t=92556
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Hyllest
Grade me! GRADE ME!!!
OP, I don't think you look like a stoner in the first pic, but I'd use the waterfall one as my main.
Actually, not having picture can work your benefit in some cases, if the profile is otherwise good. Still, if you don't have picture, draw one.
All I know is I never responded to any guy without a picture. Didn't matter what was in their profile or message, no picture always seemed a bit sketchy.
Diomedes, if either you or I were a girl, I would date you so hard. That is a fantastic profile - great pictures, good sense of humor and uniqueness. A++, would read again.
I have to agree. In this day and age where digital cameras are no further than a rather hefty percentage of cell phones, not having any kind of picture at all comes across as hiding something. Even if there's nothing to hide, and the person just wants to maintain their privacy, I'm far less likely to approach someone without a pic. Even a somewhat bad one is better than nothing. Give me a ballpark on size, appearance and style.
Though I have to admit, my current profile pic is in desperate need of changing. As it's bad. And has been for years. Though to be fair, I did manage to end up in a year long relationship through OKC with it, and do chat with people there now and then, so I guess it's not horrible, but it's not great either.
I'll have to apply some of the advice in this thread to my profile and run it past you all for tips and criticism.
I think its popularity is due to the fact that it is free, has a pretty extensive user base and hase tons of fun quizzes.
I shall be postin my profile later for critique
This is what a fantastic profile looks like. Take notes, gentlemen.
now THATS a profile. Of course if you arent witty or funny or awesome then its hard to pull off the good stuff like that.
Under "favorite books, music, and food": I'm a huge Terry Pratchett fan, so mention which of his books is your favorite! To spice up your movies and music section, maybe select two or three on each list and only mention those. Then, give a one or two sentence explanation for why you like them so much: Anchorman, because it's so ridiculous it makes you laugh til your stomach hurts. The bad thing about just listing a bunch of things is that it doesn't give us any insight into you, into what makes you tick. We can extrapolate but you don't want to make girls do that.
Also, I have to second the "get pictures" advice. Even if it's just one picture. Get one professionally done if you are worried about it. What IS wrong with you?! Who the heck likes "The Once and Future King" when there are much better Arthurian stories out there! Ok ok I kid.
This statement confuses me. To what reasons do you refer?
that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
Goddamn, I need to update that thing since I joined the Navy.
Overall I think it is quite good. Profile pic is fantastic. Couple quick nitpicks :
1) It's a pretty intense hobby, but the best part about it is that you get to perform in front of tens of thousands of people. -> It's a pretty intense hobby, but the best part about it is the thrill of performing in front of tens of thousands of people.
2) I get fed up when people can't keep up in a conversation, and I appreciate someone who's witty and quick on the draw. -> I'm really looking for someone who can keep up and I appreciate someone who's witty and quick on the draw.
Focus on what you want, not what you don't want. You don't want to appear overly judgmental.
3) I have a very casual approach to life, and I think this is reflected in the way people react to me the first time. I usually try to impose some of my sarcastic humour onto them, and this works to varying degrees. -> something else
Not sure exactly what here, but casual and impose don't fit together and casual is usually interpreted as "lazy slob." What are you trying to convey/what are you looking for?
4) I'm not sure your "Friday night" section works. Being persuaded implies lack of initiative, so just say hanging out with a group of friends. Also, the Kraft dinner line is kinda funny, but it also is a bit pathetic. Your call on whether you want to keep it or not.
Overall though, you do a good job of showing your personality and present yourself well.
It's a picture of you that was taken by someone who knows wtf they're doing, there is absolutely nothing special or weird about it. =/
Yeah, a single "professional" picture in your album is never a bad thing, but I'd much rather see some casual pictures of you interacting with other people and/or having fun. It gives off an aura of being normal, entertaining and fun to be around, instead of a department store mannequin.
Like my teacher said "It is not enough to be your best, you need be your best self". Really, there is nothing wrong representing yourself in the best possible light.
EDIT: corrected quote
Yeah, and so? The idea is not to look worse than you really are. Remember that taking picture professionally doesn't mean you photoshop your picture or crap like that. It just means that picture is taken by someone with some artistic sensibilities, and good camera.
You accomplish this by 1. Having an interesting and non-generic profile and 2. Having interesting photos.
For example, If I compare two profiles, one of which has a professional headshot as their main photo and the other one is the photo we saw earlier in the thread with the waterfall (or really any sort of activity shot), I am way more likely to read through the waterfall profile because the picture is interesting.
I say "Hey check it out, this dude is adventurous and likes to have fun, I wonder what else he is into." With the headshot I say "Well, this dude looks nice but the picture is kind of boring." (Also why does he have professional headshots? Is this guy super into himself?) It's the same idea with the shirtless pics.
Anybody can get some professional pictures done, and like I said it's not a bad thing to have in the album. But you want your profile to scream words like interesting, social, entertaining, adventurous, etc. It's much easier to convey that through casual photos.