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[Chat] of the Sea

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    BamaBama Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Abdhyius wrote: »
    In norway we have to drive with the headlights on at all times

    simple reasoning there is that they found it cause less accidents

    methinks it's because of the long twilight we have
    Yea, part of me wishes all cars did this automatically, but another part of me complains about it being wasteful.

    Bama on
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    nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    It can help to have ambition, though.

    Depending on the job you're looking for.

    I have no professional ambition or job I am looking for. At least not related to an english major that I know of.

    Yeah, I know, shoulda picked a different major.

    Objective: To become an evergrowing sack of human flesh slowly molding into the shape of a cheap swivel chair for the next 40 years

    nexuscrawler on
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    ElendilElendil Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    the tree is gone

    Elendil on
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    SarksusSarksus ATTACK AND DETHRONE GODRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I've been absorbing myself in articles about microscopes and telescopes for the past few months so now whenever someone says "objectives" I think of the lens or mirror responsible for gathering the light before it's magnified by the eyepiece.

    And Inquisitor's sentence almost made sense with that context.

    Plausible joke replies include "immersion oil" or "a Coscinodiscus".

    Sarksus on
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    Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    yeah i gotta start applying to jobs today as well

    i filed my employment insurance claim today, just in case

    hopefully i'll get a job before 28 days are up but who knows

    Evil Multifarious on
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    BamaBama Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I'm pretty sure that a good 70% of my utility as an employee is preventing the theft of office furniture.

    Bama on
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    IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    It can help to have ambition, though.

    Depending on the job you're looking for.

    it can also hurt you if the interviewer thinks you're going to be wanting to move out of the open position too soon

    might as well avoid it altogether

    Again, that depends.

    If you want to use the job to get somewhere else in the company, for example.

    I have never lost a job from wanting to get a technical writing certification.

    Incenjucar on
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    FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    Man I have no idea what to put on my monster resume under objective. I don't have any career plans. Bleh.

    my wife used to be a recruiter

    I think most people have axed the objective portion of the resume to make more room for education and experience

    cause it's unstated that your objective is to get a fucking job

    lump your objective into a 'professional abstract'. they're the new hot shit.

    Explain please.

    Or is it exactly what it says?

    I have one of these on my resume.

    It basically describes in two sentences who I am, what my strengths are, and the kind of position I want.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
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    thisisntwallythisisntwally Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    Man I have no idea what to put on my monster resume under objective. I don't have any career plans. Bleh.

    my wife used to be a recruiter

    I think most people have axed the objective portion of the resume to make more room for education and experience

    cause it's unstated that your objective is to get a fucking job

    lump your objective into a 'professional abstract'. they're the new hot shit.

    Explain please.

    Or is it exactly what it says?

    my most recent:
    PROFESSIONAL ABSTRACT:
    Forecasting and Data Analyst with in-depth analytical and data management experience applying for a STUFF Analyst position within The Company. Seeking to expand breadth of analytical expertise with private sector employment in a performance based career path. Two years of experience with the Department of Energy’s Environmental Management program in commodity and price forecasting, cost modeling, cost analysis, contract review and budget reporting. Proficient with a variety of statistical packages including R, STATA and EViews, along with proprietary and enterprise level database systems such as Access, Oracle and MS SQL. Self motivated intellectual with proven leadership acumen and quantitative abilities, who values a stimulating, innovative and challenging working environment committed to client satisfaction.

    it was called something else, wherever i got the idea from (someone on this forum)

    but professional abstract is the sweet name i gave it. i have gotten a call back from the last three companies i gave one to.

    edit: yes. i believe it was feral. mine is more than two sentences. but i wax verbose.

    thisisntwally on
    #someshit
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    AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Bama wrote: »
    Abdhyius wrote: »
    In norway we have to drive with the headlights on at all times

    simple reasoning there is that they found it cause less accidents

    methinks it's because of the long twilight we have
    Yea, part of me wishes all cars did this automatically, but another part of me complains about it being wasteful.

    Negligible waste. And a car with headlights on is so much easier to notice.

    Abdhyius on
    ftOqU21.png
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    PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited January 2010

    Objective: To become an evergrowing sack of human flesh slowly molding into the shape of a cheap swivel chair for the next 40 years

    No no too mean.

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
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    RyadicRyadic Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Ryadic wrote: »
    Dunadan019 wrote: »
    I am taking an online course WEEEE!!!

    I just registered for a 3-day google seminar in vegas!

    weeeeeeeeee

    I know I'm like 10 pages late on this, but I just got home from work.

    I thought your friend is getting married that same weekend.

    she is

    I will be in vegas tues-fri, then fly to phoenix on fri for her sat wedding

    then drive home on sun

    :D

    Score for you!

    Ryadic on
    steam_sig.png
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    ElendilElendil Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I need a real job but can't bring myself to deal with the bullshit

    it's like some bizarre mating dance you need to do

    Elendil on
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    SarksusSarksus ATTACK AND DETHRONE GODRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Just use corporate speak.

    Your objective is to become a synergistic asset that will leverage personal skills to render a 3% return on your prospective employer's investment (i.e. salary).

    Sarksus on
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    BamaBama Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    "So what's a fine job description like you doing in a listing aggregator like this?"

    Bama on
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    DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    You know what sucks? Making resumes when you have no experience

    DasUberEdward on
    steam_sig.png
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    IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    You guys all need to move to Seattle or Redmond so I can get you jobs and make money off of you doing so.

    --

    DUE: Talk about school and such.

    Incenjucar on
  • Options
    BobCescaBobCesca Is a girl Birmingham, UKRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    BobCesca wrote: »
    Hey [chat] I am going to the grocery in a bit. Could you guess suggest an excellent item or items I should pick up to make a fabulous dish? Nothing too fancy.

    squash, chicken stock, onions, garlic = amazing soup.

    also nice crusty bread.

    How do you prepare squash? I have never had it.

    chop it into like 1" pieces and chuck in after everything else. After 40 mins in the bubbling stock it'll be all mushy and lovely.

    The other option is to chop it up and roast it for half an hour and then add into the soup.

    BobCesca on
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    FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Bama wrote: »
    Abdhyius wrote: »
    In norway we have to drive with the headlights on at all times

    simple reasoning there is that they found it cause less accidents

    methinks it's because of the long twilight we have
    Yea, part of me wishes all cars did this automatically, but another part of me complains about it being wasteful.

    My Jetta has the most retarded light controls ever.

    The headlights come on any time the ignition is on.

    But there is also a headlight switch.

    If the ignition is on but the headlight switch is off, then the headlights are on but the interior dashboard lights are off.

    If the ignition is off but the headlight switch is off, then the headlights and the interior dashboard lights are on.

    The only way to turn the headlights off when the ignition is on is to turn the headlight switch to off and put the parking brake on.

    So basically the car turns the headlights on automatically, but does not turn the headlights off automatically. This has caused me to need jumpstarts on three separate occasions.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • Options
    PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Some people really need to learn how to get TO THE FUCKING POINT OF YOUR QUESTION!

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • Options
    skippydumptruckskippydumptruck begin again Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Elendil wrote: »
    I need a real job but can't bring myself to deal with the bullshit

    it's like some bizarre mating dance you need to do

    yes

    and then once you've agreed that you should mate

    there is another awkward dance about salary where they know how much they can pay and you know how much you want and everyone's trying to push the needle

    skippydumptruck on
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    ElendilElendil Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I WANT MONEY

    I AM WILLING TO EXCHANGE SERVICES FOR MONEY

    I WORK GOOD

    Elendil on
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    RiemannLivesRiemannLives Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    You guys all need to move to Seattle or Redmond so I can get you jobs and make money off of you doing so.

    --

    DUE: Talk about school and such.

    How is the testing gig working out?

    RiemannLives on
    Attacked by tweeeeeeees!
  • Options
    JustinSane07JustinSane07 Really, stupid? Brockton__BANNED USERS regular
    edited January 2010
    You know what sucks? Making resumes when you have no experience

    Yeah my ex got all upset when her resume had 2 jobs on it. I had to explain to her at 20, that's actually good because it shows she can hold a steady job.

    Then she cheated on me.

    Bitch.

    JustinSane07 on
  • Options
    TL DRTL DR Not at all confident in his reflexive opinions of thingsRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Honestly if someone told me I wasn't allowed to fly I'd be pretty ok with it. Fuck dealing with airports, and that would be a good excuse to avoid extended family.

    flying fucking sucks

    the older I get the less I like the act of traveling

    teleporter plz

    I don't mind driving long distances, but I do mind metal detectors and security theater that invades my privacy.

    TL DR on
  • Options
    ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Abdhyius wrote: »
    Bama wrote: »
    Abdhyius wrote: »
    In norway we have to drive with the headlights on at all times

    simple reasoning there is that they found it cause less accidents

    methinks it's because of the long twilight we have
    Yea, part of me wishes all cars did this automatically, but another part of me complains about it being wasteful.
    Negligible waste. And a car with headlights on is so much easier to notice.
    Most of the statistical analysis done on this has pretty conclusively shown that cars driving with their headlights on during the daytime substantially reduces the number of accidents. So, you probably save energy in the long run, with fewer totaled cars that have to be replaced, and fewer accidents that have tons of cars idling on the roads for long periods of time.

    Thanatos on
  • Options
    AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    the manner in which life throws opportunities at me invariably follows the pattern of nothing at all, then everything at once

    fuck you, anthromorphic representation of my life's fortune

    feral- neither does ours, but dashboard ligths and headlights are linked. We never forgotten to turn them off.

    Abdhyius on
    ftOqU21.png
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    JustinSane07JustinSane07 Really, stupid? Brockton__BANNED USERS regular
    edited January 2010
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    You guys all need to move to Seattle or Redmond so I can get you jobs and make money off of you doing so.

    --

    DUE: Talk about school and such.

    If you could actually get me a job as a tester making decent money I would seriously consider moving cross country.

    JustinSane07 on
  • Options
    IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    You guys all need to move to Seattle or Redmond so I can get you jobs and make money off of you doing so.

    --

    DUE: Talk about school and such.

    How is the testing gig working out?

    It starts in the morning.

    Today is my figure out how I should prepare for it day.

    I expect my cousin's surprise party tonight to ensure that I am groggy in the morning.

    Incenjucar on
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    DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    BobCesca wrote: »
    BobCesca wrote: »
    Hey [chat] I am going to the grocery in a bit. Could you guess suggest an excellent item or items I should pick up to make a fabulous dish? Nothing too fancy.

    squash, chicken stock, onions, garlic = amazing soup.

    also nice crusty bread.

    How do you prepare squash? I have never had it.

    chop it into like 1" pieces and chuck in after everything else. After 40 mins in the bubbling stock it'll be all mushy and lovely.

    The other option is to chop it up and roast it for half an hour and then add into the soup.

    I think I will try this today. Thank you BobCesca.

    DasUberEdward on
    steam_sig.png
  • Options
    japanjapan Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    You guys all need to move to Seattle or Redmond so I can get you jobs and make money off of you doing so.

    I do not think I would be particularly happy working in the insurance industry in the US.

    Also 2 people London->Stuttgart return with an hour and a half stopover in Paris (for lunch) for £270.

    Hmmm.

    japan on
  • Options
    thisisntwallythisisntwally Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Elendil wrote: »
    I need a real job but can't bring myself to deal with the bullshit

    it's like some bizarre mating dance you need to do

    yes

    and then once you've agreed that you should mate

    there is another awkward dance about salary where they know how much they can pay and you know how much you want and everyone's trying to push the needle

    glassdoor.com

    find out what they're paying. ask for it. don't budge.

    thisisntwally on
    #someshit
  • Options
    BamaBama Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Feral wrote: »
    Bama wrote: »
    Abdhyius wrote: »
    In norway we have to drive with the headlights on at all times

    simple reasoning there is that they found it cause less accidents

    methinks it's because of the long twilight we have
    Yea, part of me wishes all cars did this automatically, but another part of me complains about it being wasteful.

    My Jetta has the most retarded light controls ever.

    The headlights come on any time the ignition is on.

    But there is also a headlight switch.

    If the ignition is on but the headlight switch is off, then the headlights are on but the interior dashboard lights are off.

    If the ignition is off but the headlight switch is off, then the headlights and the interior dashboard lights are on.

    The only way to turn the headlights off when the ignition is on is to turn the headlight switch to off and put the parking brake on.

    So basically the car turns the headlights on automatically, but does not turn the headlights off automatically. This has caused me to need jumpstarts on three separate occasions.
    that would kill me.

    My first car had automatic lights, then one morning I had to take my dad's truck to class and left the damn lights on all day. Was a real shitty way to end the day.

    Bama on
  • Options
    ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    You know what sucks? Making resumes when you have no experience
    Yeah my ex got all upset when her resume had 2 jobs on it. I had to explain to her at 20, that's actually good because it shows she can hold a steady job.

    Then she cheated on me.

    Bitch.
    You had it coming.

    Thanatos on
  • Options
    IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    You guys all need to move to Seattle or Redmond so I can get you jobs and make money off of you doing so.

    --

    DUE: Talk about school and such.

    If you could actually get me a job as a tester making decent money I would seriously consider moving cross country.

    Define "decent" money.

    First round game testing jobs pay you enough to live like a human being. Not much else.

    Incenjucar on
  • Options
    PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    You know what sucks? Making resumes when you have no experience

    Yeah my ex got all upset when her resume had 2 jobs on it. I had to explain to her at 20, that's actually good because it shows she can hold a steady job.

    Then she cheated on me.

    Bitch.

    See past you could have made a joke about how "Blow jobs" don't count as work experience.

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • Options
    The Crowing OneThe Crowing One Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    You guys all need to move to Seattle or Redmond so I can get you jobs and make money off of you doing so.

    --

    DUE: Talk about school and such.

    If you could actually get me a job as a tester making decent money I would seriously consider moving cross country.

    Define "decent" money.

    First round game testing jobs pay you enough to live like a human being. Not much else.

    Define "human being".

    The Crowing One on
    3rddocbottom.jpg
  • Options
    IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    japan wrote: »
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    You guys all need to move to Seattle or Redmond so I can get you jobs and make money off of you doing so.

    I do not think I would be particularly happy working in the insurance industry in the US.

    Also 2 people London->Stuttgart return with an hour and a half stopover in Paris (for lunch) for £270.

    Hmmm.

    I have gotten a dozen recruiting emails and such from insurance companies. I refuse to reply to them.

    Incenjucar on
  • Options
    BobCescaBobCesca Is a girl Birmingham, UKRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    BobCesca wrote: »
    BobCesca wrote: »
    Hey [chat] I am going to the grocery in a bit. Could you guess suggest an excellent item or items I should pick up to make a fabulous dish? Nothing too fancy.

    squash, chicken stock, onions, garlic = amazing soup.

    also nice crusty bread.

    How do you prepare squash? I have never had it.

    chop it into like 1" pieces and chuck in after everything else. After 40 mins in the bubbling stock it'll be all mushy and lovely.

    The other option is to chop it up and roast it for half an hour and then add into the soup.

    I think I will try this today. Thank you BobCesca.

    If you want a decent recipe go to www.bbc.co.uk/food and search for pumpkin soup in their "what to cook bit". There's usally a really good, simple one there that is easy to make.

    BobCesca on
  • Options
    ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    japan wrote: »
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    You guys all need to move to Seattle or Redmond so I can get you jobs and make money off of you doing so.
    I do not think I would be particularly happy working in the insurance industry in the US.

    Also 2 people London->Stuttgart return with an hour and a half stopover in Paris (for lunch) for £270.

    Hmmm.
    From what you've posted in these threads, Japan, I get the impression that the insurance industry in the UK is considerably more altruistic than the insurance industry here.

    Then again, you probably have a biased perspective, so...

    Thanatos on
This discussion has been closed.