looking for portfolio site help (pg6)

2456

Posts

  • JLM-AWPJLM-AWP Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    The thinner lines on his left arm are making it look a bit odd. I'm not expert, so maybe I shouldn't be posting this, but shouldn't line weight increase as you get closer to the viewer?

    EDIT: I do like it though. Poor little dude.

    JLM-AWP on
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Been a while since I updated this thread, thought I would dump a bit. I am going to be posting less comic stuff here so I thought I would revive it.

    This dump will be mostly comics, I have been using my tablet exclusively, so if you see any common mistakes or have any tablet tips, I would love to hear them:

    robot-ghost-copy.jpg

    new-comic1-copy.jpg

    game-informer-copy.jpg

    flashlight-copy.jpg

    Baby_Shape_is_smart.jpg

    LinkandtheLikeLikecopy.jpg

    Oh yea, I had a baby! (well my wife HAD the baby, but you know...)
    Lucy Jane Folz.

    041.jpg

    100_1964.jpg

    100_2042.jpg

    I would love crits, so go crazy.

    Thanks guys

    brokecracker on
  • Stupid Mr Whoopsie NameStupid Mr Whoopsie Name Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2010
    robot-ghost-copy.jpg

    I love this comic, hits really close to home!

    Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Y'know even if your comics aren't laugh out loud they're so cute I can't help but smile. I think they'd work really well in a newspaper.

    Congrats on the daughter too broke, she looks very serious.

    Mustang on
  • GrennGrenn Registered User
    edited August 2010
    Hey Broke!

    1. Congratumalations on baby Lucy! Good work and all the best for your newly expanded family.

    2. I love the Robot Ghost one, but I don't think you need the word unfold there in the penultimate panel...

    3. If you don't already, you should read and be a fan of American Elf by James Kochalka because I'm getting a very similar vibe from your stuff. Very, very affirming and endearing family/life experience stuff but with a twist of daftness in there.

    That is all.

    Grenn on
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    SMWN: Thanks, I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me. Robot Ghost was just a particularly good one. I don't know what I was thinking.

    Mustang: While I know I should strive to be laugh out loud funny, I am completely content with wholesome smiles. I really enjoy Nedroid and that brand of humor, and I would rather be cute than crude.

    I get really sick of reading webcomics that try to beat you over the head with profanity to hide that fact that they are not funny. Not to say I don't curse in the comic sometimes, but I don't want that as my calling card.

    Grenn: Thanks for the kind words! How are you and your wife? Yea, I had wrote the "Unfold" on one of the sketch layers and thought it might be funny as a kind of onomatopoeia. But if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

    I haven't read American Elf, but will look it up today! Sound great!

    brokecracker on
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I looked up American Elf, I have seen that guys stuff around. I like his simple style and kind of autobiographical nature of his stuff. I am flattered at the comparison!

    new one:
    vomit-on-fri.jpg

    brokecracker on
  • squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Congrats on ze babee.

    Thirding the love for "Robot ghost." It's funny in way that's hard for me to qualify but I almost never encounter in webcomics; super-relatable and just sweetly hysterical (I also dig putting your eyes on in the morning).

    squidbunny on
    header_image_sm.jpg
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Thanky you Squidbunny! I am a huge fan of your stuff and take it as a double complement coming from someone I respect.

    I used to do more typical comics, cast of characters and story arches and such. One was about retail customer service called "Excuse Me" and another was about a record store called "B-Sides." I think they were okay, but I felt like I would always wind up falling into old comedy troupes. I felt like Jim Davis, not in a good way.

    Writing about silly stuff that happens in real life is much more rewarding to me. I might not end up being laugh out loud funny, but hopefully people can relate to it.

    Here is a new one,

    Makingacomic.jpg

    brokecracker on
  • winter_combat_knightwinter_combat_knight Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I dont think ive come across this thread yet. very nice drawings. A little stiff, but theres definately improvements
    robot-ghost-copy.jpg

    I love this comic, hits really close to home!


    haha. this is very funny. After i dream up a gold idea, i type it into my phone.
    great examples

    party, ness killed
    spilled down
    skydive ta right
    jaw jockeys (?)

    winter_combat_knight on
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Ha! those are fantastic WCK! Thanks for the kind words. I am trying to be a bit looser and less rigid in my drawings.

    Manon said I should try and convey more with drawing and less with words, I tried to apply that with this new one:

    BabyPitCrew.jpg

    brokecracker on
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    :D You SHOULD dress like storm troopers.

    Mustang on
  • FletcherFletcher Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    for some reason i love your art WAY more since you got that new tablet, broke!

    not that it wasn't great before, but something about the line quality/lettering just seems nicer and more stylish

    the last two in particular seem crisper and brighter than usual

    did you change the way you drew or something when you got the new tablet? I am intrigued

    also your comics really funny and they just keep getting better

    Fletcher on
  • GrennGrenn Registered User
    edited August 2010
    Glad you checked out Kochalka, and you're welcome for the comparison.

    The thing I like about your strips is that basing them on everyday, real life stuff means they're endearing and funny and readible without having to come up with some crutch or prop to get the reader to the "punchline". There is a naturalness there which makes the reader smile without them feeling patronised at being hit over the head with the 'mechanics' of the joke.

    Good stuff as always!

    Grenn on
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    EEEE!!! Thanks guys! I always like hearing nice things!

    Fletcher: I did kind of change my style a bit, but I think it is from the way I am doing my layouts these days.

    When I was doing these with pen and ink, I would pencil a LOT of detail before inking. I noticed after I would ink I would lose a bunch of stuff that I liked. And then after THAT I would scan it in and drop it into a bitmap to vector program so that the lines would be clean and crisp, but I would wind up losing even more.

    So now I do my layouts with stick figures on a back layer and drop the opacity way down and just go right into the finished linework. I think that makes for a looser finished lines. Thank the gods for Ctrl+Z.

    The pressure sensitivity also helps give the line width more personality, I think. While I love my Pilot V5, it doesn't vary at all, so going over stuff and going over stuff and going over stuff can be a bit tiring.

    I am glad you like it!

    Grenn: Thanks man! I was thinking the other day that real life doesn't get a fair shake in comics. Real life is fucking crazy, and we are all in it together.

    Mustang: I changed that line like four times before settling on that, I am glad you like it!

    brokecracker on
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I fucking suck as of late, life has been too busy for comics these days. Hopefully it will pay off...

    here is the new one about five days late.

    lawnstages.jpg

    brokecracker on
  • Stupid Mr Whoopsie NameStupid Mr Whoopsie Name Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited August 2010
    There Might Be Snakes!

    :^:

    Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Hahaha great. :^:

    My lawn is in the same dire state with a similar lazy bastard driving the lawn mowing project. Maybe next week.

    Mustang on
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    New One!

    NowIHaveToWaitAWholeNotherDaycopy.jpg

    grr, stupid photobucket resize...anyone know how to make that show up bigger?

    brokecracker on
  • NibCromNibCrom Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I feel your art is steadily improving.

    In the last panel of your previous comic, "Your wife sees it", the "f" in wife looks strange. I think it's because you made the type smaller in that particular instance. The other "f"s look readable in the same comic. I know that's being picky, but I was going to originally suggest that you pick a different font altogether for readability issues.

    NibCrom on
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Thanks for the comments everyone.

    Nibcrom, I agree, I need to work on the readablity of my text. I read your post after drawing the latest one, so please don't think I brushed off your advice. I will work on that in the future. I don't currently use a font, I hand write the text. I tend to work on these at a much bigger size and often forget how small the text can get.

    new one!

    in-this-one-lucy-is-a-dinosaur.jpg

    brokecracker on
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Again!

    newcomiccopy.jpg

    brokecracker on
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Last one was simple but effective. I think it could use a background or at least a floor to help ground the characters. When I first looked at it I thought the dog was magical and was supposed to be floating.

    Kohls one was funny too. I used to work there, (in the back), and I guess they used to make the register jockeys recite the most ridiculous shit to customers. I'm with you, fuck that place. I hate when places turn shopping into some fucking game where you needed to do homework just to get a small deal.

    Postman glare was great. Feels like it could've been just the first 5 panels though, as everything after seemed superfluous. Also it seemed like if you wanted to include something after that panel, you could completely skip panel 6 + 7 and then end on the last two panels, and nothing would be lost. Try to be as concise as possible with your panels, as not only will it make your comics more direct and readable, but it will save you from doing some work that you might not have even needed to do to make a comic work.

    Lawn comic is probably my favorite just because the humor is so relateable! Also the pace just seemed perfect and payed off well at the end. My only crit is that the wife in the last panel looks like she has a happy expression to me, which kills a bit of the punch. Really try to nail your expressions because a crazy angry face would've really ended the comic right.

    Keep it up though your def improving, and keep working on those hands!

    earthwormadam on
  • NappuccinoNappuccino Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    My main comment would be make the dialog text a little bit more uniform. There doesn't seem to be a conscious decision in making words bold or larger than the rest. Take the Kohls comic, in the first panel the word "alright" is very tiny for what seems like no real reason.

    You could either make a font like Fletcher (that works pretty well, but it also loses some of the real organic feel of a hand-written text) or just try to keep the pressure effect lower so there isn't as huge a variance in word thickness unless you really want that variance (like the word Everyone at the end of the Kohls comic.)

    Nappuccino on
    Like to write? Want to get e-published? Give us a look-see at http://wednesdaynightwrites.com/
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    There's also the possibility you just can't really grow a bear like other guys.

    Not even BEAR vaginas can defeat me!
    cakemikz wrote: »
    And then I rub actual cake on myself.
    Loomdun wrote: »
    thats why you have chest helmets
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    K-9tutor.jpg

    I put in a lazy kind of floor, you are totally right Adam, he looked like he was floating. I am working on the fonts, I really like hand doing them but agree that they can be all over the place. I am working on legibility, I just need to keep uniformity in mind also.

    Thanks for the great feedback guys!

    brokecracker on
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    New one, worked on the text...

    PwostMastaw.jpg

    brokecracker on
  • KendeathwalkerKendeathwalker Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    better joke.. show an old serious guy telling him that his route is marked in green.. his in red.. then show that its a kid drawing them. Punchline is given away as soon as the kid is shown.

    Kendeathwalker on
  • ParadiseParadise Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I disagree, Ken. The comic and the dispatcher kid are "hiwarious" as is.

    Paradise on
  • AimAim Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    On the K9 tutor, I think you're missing an "all":

    "Now I have to do is check..." Should be "Now all I have to do is check..."

    Aim on
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    better joke.. show an old serious guy telling him that his route is marked in green.. his in red.. then show that its a kid drawing them. Punchline is given away as soon as the kid is shown.

    Eh, I get what your saying, but I think it still works as is. It's hilarity is in it's ludicrousness rather than in a solid punchline.

    Mustang on
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Thanks for the feedback all!

    Aim: I can't believe I missed that! Usually my wife proofreads for me and even she didn't catch it. Good eye.

    KDW, Paradise and Mustang: I totally get where you are coming from Ken. To be honest, I wrote this one out a few different ways. I really wanted the last line to be the "Evewybody meets back hewyl!" while doing a circle with a fist full of crayons, because I thought it was a very childlike thing to do and say.

    I wasn't sure if the reader would be on board with the speech pattern if I just dropped it on them in the last panel. I had a few co-workers say the lines out loud, and without any previous examples they didn't know what to say or what it was supposed to sound like. After I gave them the previous panels they did the "Oh, like he has a speech problem." and immediately knew how to say it and what he was trying to say. I know it gives the joke away early, but I hoped the whimsy of it would carry it through.

    Special note: I had a speech problem as a kid, this one in fact. I couldn't say the letter "R." Took me YEARS to break it, years of getting dragged out of class to go with my "speech tehwapist." Already having cokebottle glasses and braces, it didn't make my life as a child easy. So don't think I am making fun of this, it just reminds me of childhood. I still lapse back into it when I get really flustered or pissed off...talk about embarrassing.

    brokecracker on
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    annnnnd another one:

    Lucyisagainadinosaur.jpg

    brokecracker on
  • NibCromNibCrom Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Haha. I liked that one.

    Are you still doing the type by hand? The line variance bothers me. For example, the "T" in "SHOOT" in the third panel looks bold, while the "SHOO" looks normal.

    NibCrom on
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    yea, I am still hand lettering, I am going to work on making a font next week to fix those problems, the past couple weeks have been crazy with projects. Can anyone offer any helpful tutorials?

    here is a new one:

    CaveCricketscanbecute.jpg

    brokecracker on
  • ParadiseParadise Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    What the fuck is going on here?

    Paradise on
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    That bad huh?

    brokecracker on
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    It's a little left of field to your usual stuff. You usually have great comic turns on everyday things, going to the store, changing the baby, mowing the lawn, etc.

    Bizarre person living in the basement doesn't really seem to fit. I mean maybe you could tie it in to the lawn mowing comic, "I found him in the lawn" - "I really should've mowed that earlier", but it's still kind of out there.

    Mustang on
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Yea, I guess I get that. It felt a little more off the wall than I usually do, but I thought that might be a good thing. I guess I can be a little crazy in the punch line, but I need to keep the set up pretty straight.

    In a random note, here are some paintings I banged out recently. I take part in this thing called YART twice a year, a bunch of artist get together and have a yard sale with art. We set a price limit (right now it is nothing over $30, used to be nothing over $10) and everyone brings a cardtable and sets up in someones yard.

    When it started everyone was just bringing leftover stuff from classes or stuff that they had showed and not sold yet. Now a lot of people are like me and produce about 10 to 12 paintings just for YART. We do one in spring and one in fall. If you are friendly with five or six artists, I recomend throwing one!

    Yart2.jpg

    Yart1.jpg

    brokecracker on
  • NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    edited October 2010
    i want like ALL OF THOSE!!!

    NakedZergling on
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Thanks Zerg!

    I realize those are tiny, so here are some bigger pics:

    Dingo Daycare:
    100_2193.jpg

    Get Fit With Slothercise:
    100_2194.jpg

    Panda Police:
    100_2195.jpg

    Beaver Demolition:
    100_2199.jpg

    Dino Road Gas Station:
    100_2200.jpg

    Turtles, All The Way Down:
    100_2203.jpg

    Interaction Warning:
    100_2202.jpg

    May Cause Drowsiness:
    100_2205.jpg

    Delusions Of Grandeur:
    100_2206.jpg

    Sensitivity To Light:
    100_2208.jpg

    brokecracker on
Sign In or Register to comment.