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    DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    edited January 2010
    Fedora wrote: »
    Let me tell you about the last time I roller-bladed.

    Summer, 1996, local roller rink. It's the happening place to be for all the local 6th grade cool kids. So, i'm skating around, trying to show off to the ladies by doing that skating backwards bullshit. You know the move i'm talking about?

    Where you skate forwards...but while facing backwards? Yeah, it turns out I can't do that for shit.

    I tried to pivot my torso violently in the opposite direction, resulting in me immediately losing my balance and falling face first on the rink. Not belly first, not on my knees or elbows to break the fall. Face First.

    Busted my lip disgustingly wide open, my friends said I looked like a predator. Couple dozen stitches later, I vowed that that would be the last time I roller-bladed.

    the last time I roller bladed I was playing hockey in front of my house and I hit a pothole, fell down, and broke my arm

    this was the same day that a parade went by our neighborhood, so it was full of cars

    one of which I had to dodge while laying on the ground with a broken arm

    DJ Eebs on
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    TamTam Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I have contracted some vile malady that makes my head feel as if it is in a pressurized tank

    Tam on
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    i have a pretty deep scar on my forehead that i've had since i was 2

    it's like a short dent

    it's gotten slightly less noticeable as i have aged since it mostly just looks like another forehead wrinkle

    when i was two years old i was bootin' around my kitchen in my socks

    this was back in the day before little kids socks had little rubber bits on them for grip

    so i was sliding, all risky business style, to amuse myself and i was too fast and smoked the metal edge of the kitchen table with my forehead

    whoopsie

    Pony on
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    FedoraFedora Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    You and me geebs, you and me.

    Fedora on
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    VeeVee Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I've actually never broken a bone!

    I sprained my thumb in the 6th grade playing tether ball. I think that's the only time I've sprained something.


    Recently the worst I've done is shaved a chunk of skin off my knee. Motherfucking hurt! I don't know why but I'm super retarded when I'm shaving my legs and I get to the knees. Knees are hard for me : / I think it's because I'm usually in a rush.

    Vee on
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    Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    neville wrote: »
    Blaket wrote: »
    So Neville this dude you were trying to impress a doctor?

    No, but when they ask why you've been vomiting nonstop for 2 days and you start with "Well I was drinking..." it is nigh impossible to convince them you aren't a complete alcoholic.

    Now I basically don't drink, so it is harder to call me such.

    You should have tried to pick up a hot doctor.

    Blake T on
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    That Dave FellaThat Dave Fella Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    when I was younger I was playing soccer in our break period and I was the goalie and I somehow got kicked in the eye

    the eye!

    I totally just sucked it up cause I didn't want to get the dude who kicked me in the eye in trouble, it wasn't really his fault. He went to kick it and I went to save it. I got some bloodshot for like 2 weeks and people were all "woooooah"

    That Dave Fella on
    PSN: ThatDaveFella
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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Pony wrote: »
    i have a pretty deep scar on my forehead that i've had since i was 2

    it's like a short dent

    it's gotten slightly less noticeable as i have aged since it mostly just looks like another forehead wrinkle

    when i was two years old i was bootin' around my kitchen in my socks

    this was back in the day before little kids socks had little rubber bits on them for grip

    so i was sliding, all risky business style, to amuse myself and i was too fast and smoked the metal edge of the kitchen table with my forehead

    whoopsie

    this was me! only I was two and running around in a hardware store and fell onto my chin and now I have a scar there

    #pipe on
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    DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    edited January 2010
    Fedora wrote: »
    You and me geebs, you and me.

    let's form a coalition

    mothers against roller bladin'

    MARB

    and I know we ain't mothers but I'm sure we can find some

    DJ Eebs on
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    man if we have to get some bagged milk to get some free healthcare i am pretty sure we will take that bullet

    Raneados on
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    FedoraFedora Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    when I was younger I was playing soccer in our break period and I was the goalie and I somehow got kicked in the eye

    the eye!

    I totally just sucked it up cause I didn't want to get the dude who kicked me in the eye in trouble, it wasn't really his fault. He went to kick it and I went to save it. I got some bloodshot for like 2 weeks and people were all "woooooah"

    There was a guy named ryan in one of my soccer matches in highschool, caught the ball right in the chest. He immediately went down, gasping and floundering for air. We thought he had just got the wind knocked out of him and told him to get up and walk it off.

    Turns out one of his lungs had collapsed.

    Whoops.

    Fedora on
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    That Dave FellaThat Dave Fella Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    when I was only a few months old I was in a bouncer on the worktop because when I was born I decided to come out shoulder first so my mum had to have a partial section and due to that she couldn't have me on the ground cause she couldn't lean down to pick me up

    anyways cause I was an asshole baby I bounced off the worktop onto the floor and cause my mum couldn't lean down to pick me up cause she was in excruciating pain she had to call an ambulance to come and get me, it was pretty hilarious when I was told this as I got older

    I also have a dent in my skull cause I once tripped over a step and fell down 2 other steps and hit my head off of a bike.

    That Dave Fella on
    PSN: ThatDaveFella
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    socer balls injure so many fucking people

    if you've never been smashed in the face fully by a soccer ball you never had a childhood worth living

    Raneados on
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    DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    edited January 2010
    when I was like seven we were playing outside in the sprinkler, or having a water fight or something and I, in an attempt to escape and/or find a better strategic position, tore ass through the house barefoot and soaking wet

    this was all fine until I hit the kitchen tiles, where my feet went completely out from under me and caused me to baseball slide my knee into the corner of the cupboard door, leaving a scar that's still there, and causing a wound that bled off and on for like two weeks because we waited too long to go to a doctor so I couldn't get stitches

    DJ Eebs on
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    That Dave FellaThat Dave Fella Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    oh man, I've taken so many soccer balls to the face

    it's like a childhood rite of passage, well for the UK and Ireland

    That Dave Fella on
    PSN: ThatDaveFella
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    you know what sucks

    getting a concussion

    and not realizing you have one

    that sucks, i tell you what

    Pony on
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    DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    edited January 2010
    I've never been hit in the face by a soccer ball

    dodgeballs and kickballs, yes

    DJ Eebs on
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Raneados wrote: »
    socer balls injure so many fucking people

    if you've never been smashed in the face fully by a soccer ball you never had a childhood worth living

    pfft

    i took a hockey puck to the face

    i was not a goalie

    some jackanape tried to do a "slapshot" but he ended up basically just golf-ballin' the puck into the air and down the ice

    broke my nose and blackened both my eyes somehow

    it was rough

    Pony on
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Pony wrote: »
    you know what sucks

    getting a concussion

    and not realizing you have one

    that sucks, i tell you what

    man I had one of them

    i wanted to go to bed but everyone's like NO DUDE LET'S GO TO THE HOSPITAL

    and I was like nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    but i got dragged there

    hello 5 thousand dollars for an MRI and shit i didn't fucking want grrrr

    Raneados on
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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    oh man, I've taken so many soccer balls to the face

    it's like a childhood rite of passage, well for the UK and Ireland

    did you ever get that thing where is smacks into your thigh on a cold morning and you have a huge red circle with the imprints of the laces

    man that was the WORST

    #pipe on
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    That Dave FellaThat Dave Fella Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    pretty much the same thing Geebs except with dodgeball the aim is to hit you, wherever

    with soccer you're meant to either catch the ball or hit it with your forehead to score a goal, stupid people

    also I've a small scar on the bridge of my house which has kinda faded after all these years but I got it when I was younger cause my little sister was chasing me around our holiday home and we were running around on the beds and jumping around and I fell and hit my head off the corner of the beside locker

    I had to get like 5 stitches when I was 6 or 7 and miss our entire 2 week beach holiday

    at least I got a lollipop and some balloons

    That Dave Fella on
    PSN: ThatDaveFella
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I've never been hit in the face by a soccer ball

    dodgeballs and kickballs, yes

    i'd say those aren't as bad because they are HELLA rubbery

    old fashioned soccer balls, hell yeah, all worn in and the tiles are all crusted and rough and it just wraps around your entire face all at once

    it hits your ENTIRE FACE at once

    and the roughness cuts and chafes you
    I've never seen anyone actually cry after it happens, it's not a crying type of thing

    it's like a FUCK WHAT THE SHIT kind of thing

    edit: oh yeah and it's at like 12 million PSI so it's like getting punched by the world's biggest fist

    Raneados on
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    That Dave FellaThat Dave Fella Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    #pipe wrote: »
    oh man, I've taken so many soccer balls to the face

    it's like a childhood rite of passage, well for the UK and Ireland

    did you ever get that thing where is smacks into your thigh on a cold morning and you have a huge red circle with the imprints of the laces

    man that was the WORST

    I was the goalkeeper, I took football hits everywhere

    shit was the worst on a saturday morning, especially when wearing shorts

    That Dave Fella on
    PSN: ThatDaveFella
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    when i was in 2nd grade gym class there was this dickheaded boy in my class who nowadays would probably be diagnosed with asperger's or something

    we were working with medicine balls, doing shit holding one and doing sit-ups, etc.

    i was laying back and this little fucking bastard walked up and dropped a medicine ball straight onto my crotch

    didn't hit my nads, actually hit me right above the dick in the lower abdomen

    hurt like motherfucker, i almost vomited

    why did he do it? because he thought it would be funny! (maybe it was!)

    i hated that little cocksucker

    he was taken out of school because kids were pretty brutal to him after about 4th grade or so

    Pony on
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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I fell over backwards and hit my head on the ice while skating a few months ago

    thought I had a concussion for a few minutes but nope

    #pipe on
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    VALVEjunkieVALVEjunkie Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Sheri wrote: »
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    nearly died shitting myself

    This is all I read

    this story needs to be told, i think

    VALVEjunkie on
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    DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    edited January 2010
    Raneados wrote: »
    I've never been hit in the face by a soccer ball

    dodgeballs and kickballs, yes

    i'd say those aren't as bad because they are HELLA rubbery

    old fashioned soccer balls, hell yeah, all worn in and the tiles are all crusted and rough and it just wraps around your entire face all at once

    it hits your ENTIRE FACE at once

    and the roughness cuts and chafes you
    I've never seen anyone actually cry after it happens, it's not a crying type of thing

    it's like a FUCK WHAT THE SHIT kind of thing

    kickballs are rough as shit so you can grip them

    I basically got kicked right in the face with one from like ten feet

    it knocked me over, and it also had that SLAP going on and also it was like "oh and I'm going to give you some fuckin' friction on the way out"

    DJ Eebs on
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    Cold Salmon and HatredCold Salmon and Hatred __BANNED USERS regular
    edited January 2010
    one time just when i was going biking my parents (who were just starting to go on a walk) stopped me and told me to tie up my shoes

    and i was like naaah ill be fine (I am notoriously bad for leaving my shoes untied)

    about 5 blocks later i was at a stop light and i stopped and hopped off my bike

    except my shoe laces were caught in the chain and i fell and broke my wrist on some concrete steps

    my parents stroll up about 5 minutes later and just give me this look

    they haven't let me forget about that one

    Cold Salmon and Hatred on
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    #pipe wrote: »
    oh man, I've taken so many soccer balls to the face

    it's like a childhood rite of passage, well for the UK and Ireland

    did you ever get that thing where is smacks into your thigh on a cold morning and you have a huge red circle with the imprints of the laces

    man that was the WORST

    I was the goalkeeper, I took football hits everywhere

    shit was the worst on a saturday morning, especially when wearing shorts

    dude hi5 I was always goalie or up on the attack

    on average i posit that the best feeling in the world is scoring a goal in soccer

    totally better than like 80% of the sex i've ever had

    Raneados on
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    VALVEjunkieVALVEjunkie Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Sheri wrote: »
    Anjin-San wrote: »
    nearly died shitting myself

    This is all I read

    this story needs to be told, i think

    fuck nevermind

    VALVEjunkie on
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    DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    edited January 2010
    soccer was never really a thing around here I guess

    mostly at recess dudes were playing proper football or kickball

    DJ Eebs on
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    let me tell you

    the second most painful thing i have ever experienced

    is a sternum fracture

    EVERY BREATH IS LIKE INHALING SULFURIC ACID

    Pony on
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    TrillianTrillian Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I threw out my hip awhile ago.
    I was jumping around being a retard when all of sudden I felt my hip slip out of the socket, then intense pain. I couldn't walk right for a couple weeks, and it really really hurt. It made my right leg 2 inches longer than the left, when normally it's an inch shorter. It was not a good scene, not at all.

    Trillian on

    They cast a shadow like a sundial in the morning light. It was half past 10.
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    That Dave FellaThat Dave Fella Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Raneados wrote: »
    #pipe wrote: »
    oh man, I've taken so many soccer balls to the face

    it's like a childhood rite of passage, well for the UK and Ireland

    did you ever get that thing where is smacks into your thigh on a cold morning and you have a huge red circle with the imprints of the laces

    man that was the WORST

    I was the goalkeeper, I took football hits everywhere

    shit was the worst on a saturday morning, especially when wearing shorts

    dude hi5 I was always goalie or up on the attack

    on average i posit that the best feeling in the world is scoring a goal in soccer

    totally better than like 80% of the sex i've ever had

    I think I was on the attack once and that 1 time I scored a free kick, it was amazing.

    I loved being a goalie because I reveled in the feeling of denying someone a scoring opportunity

    That Dave Fella on
    PSN: ThatDaveFella
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    soccer was never really a thing around here I guess

    mostly at recess dudes were playing proper football or kickball

    you mean handegg? yeah that's an okay game

    and kickball is ridiculously easy

    someone rolls a fucking ball and you kick the shit out of it

    congratulations home run

    Raneados on
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    Raneados wrote: »
    #pipe wrote: »
    oh man, I've taken so many soccer balls to the face

    it's like a childhood rite of passage, well for the UK and Ireland

    did you ever get that thing where is smacks into your thigh on a cold morning and you have a huge red circle with the imprints of the laces

    man that was the WORST

    I was the goalkeeper, I took football hits everywhere

    shit was the worst on a saturday morning, especially when wearing shorts

    dude hi5 I was always goalie or up on the attack

    on average i posit that the best feeling in the world is scoring a goal in soccer

    totally better than like 80% of the sex i've ever had

    I think I was on the attack once and that 1 time I scored a free kick, it was amazing.

    I loved being a goalie because I reveled in the feeling of denying someone a scoring opportunity

    haha so many people say things after you make a save

    you can hear them under their breath

    oh you dickass

    Raneados on
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    BalefuegoBalefuego Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I have a gnarly scar on my left elbow from getting a huge patch of skin there torn off by gravel

    I've broken most of my fingers at some point and a couple toes, I burst a blood vessel in my eye, I've torn a ligament in my wrist, severed a tendon in my thumb with a meat slicer, and broke my clavicle once.

    Oh also I had a hernia removed when I was a baby but I don't remember that so


    Oh and I got stabbed in the hand with a switchblade but that wasn't really so bad

    Balefuego on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    DashuiDashui Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I've accidentally kicked myself in the testicles...

    ...multiple times. D:

    Dashui on
    Xbox Live, PSN & Origin: Vacorsis 3DS: 2638-0037-166
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    TrillianTrillian Registered User regular
    edited January 2010
    I also got my foot stepped on by a horse but he missed the important small painful bones so it was ok.

    Trillian on

    They cast a shadow like a sundial in the morning light. It was half past 10.
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited January 2010
    i have a huge piece of glass in my foot somewhere

    i lost sight of it

    Raneados on
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