The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
Crazy Friend's Ex Problems <Getting stuff back>
An-D
EnthusiastAshevilleRegistered User regular
EnthusiastAshevilleRegistered User regular
So, basic legal question, I guess. I feel like I've read a similar thread here before but for the life of me, I can't find it.
So, here it goes. A friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend (of two years?) a few months ago. He didn't take it to well, and made the whole thing super awkward and bitter. Fast forward to now. They had lived together, and her mom had let them borrow an old porch swing at their house. Now that her daughter isn't dating the dude anymore, she wants it back. Its real old. A family-thing, I believe.
The guy won't give it back, claiming that it was a gift. Neither of them (mother or my friend) ever said it was a gift...just something that could be borrowed for a while.
What are the options my friend could follow up on to get the porch swing back? Police?
*edit* I guess the title of this thread should be 'Friend's Crazy Ex Problems.' I am apparently dyslexic.
*edit2* It should also be noted, that the guy in this story is not a fan of me for some stuff that went down a long time ago. He will not listen to me if I try to reason with him.
So, here it goes. A friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend (of two years?) a few months ago. He didn't take it to well, and made the whole thing super awkward and bitter. Fast forward to now. They had lived together, and her mom had let them borrow an old porch swing at their house. Now that her daughter isn't dating the dude anymore, she wants it back. Its real old. A family-thing, I believe.
The guy won't give it back, claiming that it was a gift. Neither of them (mother or my friend) ever said it was a gift...just something that could be borrowed for a while.
What are the options my friend could follow up on to get the porch swing back? Police?
*edit* I guess the title of this thread should be 'Friend's Crazy Ex Problems.' I am apparently dyslexic.
*edit2* It should also be noted, that the guy in this story is not a fan of me for some stuff that went down a long time ago. He will not listen to me if I try to reason with him.
An-D on
0
Posts
MWO: Adamski
Not only that, but have proof that it was actually theirs.
Because going to court it's going to essentially be:
Bitter breakup person 1 claiming other persons property is actually theirs.
Bitter person 2 claiming that property is their own.
Unless there is more to it than he said/she said what evidence is there going to be to make a ruling?
He's had this thing at his place for quite some time... and honestly, who lets someone borrow a piece of non essential furniture? I get that they were dating awhile... but it's not like this was something akin to a bed that would be a pain for him to make due without until he could afford his own.
Looking at this objectively without any knowledge of the people involved or what happened, I'd be more inclined to believe his side of things, and that the ex just wants it back because, "fuck that dude he can't have that swing we gave him anymore".
That is not necessarily the case, but it's a good chance it may look that way without some sort of proof.
If she pesters him enough he'll probably decide it's not worth it and give it back, or he won't. No one will get the police involved; if they threaten to though, he may decide it's not worth it and give it back.
And neither is being awkward and bitter about it, most rational adults can break up without having to go to Judge Judy. This is not, in my experience, a typical response to break ups and moving out.
Yes, police. Call them on the non-emergency line and ask for an escort to retrieve property. She should tell them what you told us. It was never a gift, so he has zero claims on it. It's her property, so she gets to take it when she leaves. Case closed.
That really wouldn't help, unless you're trying to trick the dude into being intimidated. The nano-second the dude says "It was a gift" the cops will absolutely not allow anyone to remove the swing from his property. This is precisely what small claims court is for.
The police wouldn't even get that involded. They'll stand there making sure no violence happens and ask you to leave when he tells them you don't live there. Its a civil issue not a criminal one.
When I was helping someone in a similar situation, the cops were called and the property was retrieved, just like I posted. Maybe you've had the opposite happen and needed to sue someone. But this isn't a rare situation, and it's not like she's taking his stove or his bed. Call their number and see what they say.
How important is the swing to your friend? Worth giving back things that were indeed given as gifts? It might be the easiest solution. You never know with an unreasonable person though.
The flip side is that the lady could be lying. I can't just pick a random Ex, call the cops and tell them their couch is mine can they help me get it back.
That's the problem here. Something like a PS3 probably has a credit card invoice, or a receipt, or something that can be used to prove ownership.
How is the OP's friend going to prove ownership of this item? Why would an impartial observer think the guy is lying over the girl? After all, it's on his porch, been there for a substantial amount of time. No theft was reported when he took it.
You can threaten cops, but unless you know them personally and they are no longer impartial observers... I can't really imagine there is a single thing they would be willing or able to do unless a criminal act occurs on the scene.
Small claims court is certainly possible, and is the only possibility I can see to have this be resolved through legal means. Just trying to be an adult and asking him what it would take to have it returned would be far easier. If he continues to be an ass about it, then take him to small claims court about it. Just be prepared to never have it again if he wins.
That's great that in a similar situation the bluff worked out or that the cops were exceptionally bad at their jobs, but assuming a basic level of competency from the police, they will not allow her to take property from someone's property that he says was a gift without a court order.
Cops do not and should not help people seize disputed property in a vacuum. This is a civil matter and should be treated as such to prevent an escalation of crazy.
Filing a police report isn't a bad idea necessarily, especially if you suspect that he will damage the item, but it's not as though the cops are going to go over there and retrieve your swing.
that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
But that's back to she-said/he-said.
So she brought it, and left it there obviously because she didn't want it. Now she;'s being spiteful and deciding she wants it. If it was such a precious treasure, she should have taken it when she moved out.
I'd say if it was such a bad relationship, the worse she lost was a chair swing, consider herself lucky and be done with it.