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Bipolar Disorder
Phonehand
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So basically I've been seeing this girl for about six months now and she initially tells me that she was diagnosed with bipolar II which she tells me is the more severe type of bipolar. Anyway I figure I will just deal with it and let her handle her business herself. So she hits a major depressive episode last month and I decide now is a good time to educate myself on the subject. So my problem is I am looking for a good book on the subject and to further complicate things, the more I look in to it, the more I think that maybe she was confused and actually has bipolar I (apparently the more severe type?). Anyway she just texted me and said "whichever one has the hallucinations" (news to me). So I'll have to clarify of course, but does anyone know of any useful literature? Any other advice would be keen as well. "Bail now" is also acceptable.
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I would not say that bipolar II is more severe. The difference between bipolar I and II is that with I you get your unreasonable highs and your unreasonable lows, and with II you just get the lows. It does not actually have to do with the severity of the lows, according to the psych who gave me my diagnosis. I do not believe that they any longer diagnose bipolar when there are hallucinations involved, but IANAP and I could easily be wrong on that.
It's been doable, not having medication, and it helps that I'm in a good marriage and have school to keep me occupied, but it's not easy, and if I could go back on my meds (I was taking Lexapro) I would in a heartbeat. I go from being perfectly fine to 3-4 day funk with very little notice, and not inflicting that on others is a constant struggle that I sometimes lose, but I do my best and I'm fortunate enough to have a husband who recognizes that.
You say she's diagnosed with bipolar II... is she self-diagnosed? Because if so.. ew. She should probably begin seeing someone to obtain a proper diagnosis as soon as possible... and if she was diagnosed by a psychiatrist, she should probably at the very least have a psychologist around if she refuses medication, which I believe she is well within her right to do.
That said, if you want to bail, it's up to you. If she is unbearable and won't take steps to try to change that, no one will blame you. I guess it comes down to how attached you are after 6 months, and how much more attached you see yourself becoming, just like pretty much any other relationship.
Well, he did say she said she was diagnosed which generally implies professional help but... yeah self-diagnosis is always highly suspect. Every person I've ever met (myself included) who's claimed to be a self-diagnosed anything is generally just using that as a cover for having a crummy personality and grubbing for attention.
"I think I have _____ which is why I treat everyone around me like dirt and expect them to not do the same."
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
But as far as books and such, I assume you've tried Wikipedia and it's related references? That would be a good place to start.
This is very bad advice.
I know next to nothing about bipolar disorder but I do know this:
1) Ritalin is for ADHD not bipolar disorder. They are very different conditions.
2) Caffeine is not ritalin.
I think this is your sticking point.
At the risk of accusing you of being a chauvinist pig I think that if you're smart enough to realize that making it an ultimatum is likely to drive a wedge between the two of you, and feel inclined to not say anything as a result, you really need to zoom out and reexamine your reasoning. If it was a friend and not a potential love interest, would you be so disinclined to say "change or call me when you decide to"?
You're thinking with your ****. (I realize I don't have to censor this at all, but it looks funnier when I do.)
It's also useful for Asperger's, although that's mostly because aspies also have trouble with impulse control. It's commonly used to extend doses slightly and smooth out the periods when dose one is starting to wear off and dose two is only starting to take effect (you're not really supposed to take another full dose until the previous dose has mainly worn off). They're both stimulants and have show many similar characteristics.
Goose has 5 letters.
Look for your local chapter of Mental Health America online and see if they have an education support group or support discussion groups in your area. Try to convince her to go with you, or failing that, go yourself.
There are TONS of books at your local public library on biploar disorder and how to deal with a family member (hot chick you're dating) who has the disorder.
Bipolar 1 and 2 are types of bipolar disorder. 1 has more mania and can have severe delusions of grandure and sometimes auditory and visual halucinations. 2 is more the depressed side and can suck the sufferer into a deeper hole of dispair than Trent Reznor on a really bad day.
I have bipolar mixed which means I get to fly as high as a kite, and feel like crap while doing it. Mania and depression on one lovely plate.
Note, you can NOT force her to seek treatment. You can Only encourage her, support her and be her freind. Educate yourself as much as you can and with an understanding of her illness, see if she's the girl that you want to spend any amount of time with. people with bipolar need love too, we just love more strongly than most.
Yeah, that's where I started. Unfortunately, it seems really vague on the differences between type I and type II. Like I can't really tell if her episodes are manic or hypomanic as she seems to present a little bit of both. There are a lot of different factors in her life that I can't really hope to comprehend so I've always known that professional help was probably the only way that she would get her moods under control.
Anyway, I'll see if I can talk to her later and get a better feel for her treatment situation.
What about people who refuse to seek treatment? That's just a lack of personal hygiene.
Ha, this was a really great idea and then I found they have no chapters in my state. Yuck.
Yep, bphope.com is the site i was thinking of. It'll have a links and resources section to get you started. Also, MHA can lead you to links and resources in other regions. The internet is a useful tool
look i am a very busy man etc etc rabble rabble (thanks)
Aspergers is ALSO not bipolar disorder. No-where near it. Aspergers is a problem with learning how to function in social situations. Bipolar disorder involves cycling between periods of depression and mania.
For something a little more "for dummies..." try The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide.
Keep in mind though that a lot of other conditions can be misdiagnosed as bipolar - there are a lot of reasons for that, and the in-depth discussion is out of the scope of H/A, but in the absence of a really solid second opinion from a professional, I think it's good to be a little bit skeptical of any psych diagnosis (but not too skeptical, this is the sort of skepticism you just think about and not voice unless you know the person really well.)
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
This is extremely true. I am always the first person to say that you should not break up with someone simply because they have a disorder,however, if she refuses to get treated and is continuing to have problems with this, get the hell out.
Yes, as I understand it, that's basically the distinction between 1 and 2. You are wrong about the hallucinations, though. I have bipolar 1 (very severe) and had hallucinations at the time of diagnosis. They diagnose it as "Bipolar + psychotic side-effects". The medication I'm on for the bipolar made the hallucinations stop as well, so they were definitely related.
I've never heard of using caffeine as a treatment for bipolar, and from what I know of bipolar, it wouldn't work. Ritalin is not what you take for bipolar - you take a mood stabilizer. Anti-depressants and some other medications actually make it worse - I was originally diagnosed with depression and given anti-depressants and, well, it really fucks you up.
Do not self medicate this shit.
The only non-medication treatment that I've heard of for bipolar was from my psychiatrist some years ago. He told me that being woken up 1-2 hours before you would normally get up helps to decrease the effects of the disorder (so if you go to bed at 12 and normally get up at 10, get up at 8). I have no idea if this really works and have never tried it, so take that for what it's worth.
Having replied to those, here is what I have to say. Bipolar is extremely hard to deal with, obviously varying somewhat depending on severity. If she refuses to seek treatment - be it medication or counseling - there is very little you can do and she will not improve simply because you want her to. This is a chemical imbalance in her brain, and you can't change that. If you keep asking her to get treatment and she refuses, walk away. This is what people did to me when I was having problems and I think that it was ultimately the right thing to do - sticking around gives her no reason to try to fix anything and enables her. Fortunately for me I was a minor at the time (bipolar often sets in during puberty) and my parents forced me into treatment before I lost all of my friends.
That being said, I hope that you do everything in your power to get her to seek treatment. You have to realize that she likely doesn't understand what her moods are doing or why. As shitty as your situation is, she's in a pretty bad place as well and needs help. However, if she refuses and you can do nothing, I would advocate walking away from the situation. You can't force her to do anything and it will only drag you down with her.
Feel free to PM me if you would like to discuss any details of what living with bipolar is like (before or after treatment) and what you can do to try to help her. You have given you some good resources to learn about the disorder, but sometimes it helps to hear from people who have gone through it, too.
Good luck, dude.
I also thoroughly appreciate this post because it is exactly the case.