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Need advice maybe from people who experience this
Horus
Los AngelesRegistered User regular
Los AngelesRegistered User regular
Hopefully people went through similar situation and can give me advice how to deal with this.
I am gay and I told a sibling who was more open minded and is helping me. We where suppose to work out how to tell my other siblings (not parents as their health cannot handle the shock). The problem is one of my siblings went through my phone(don't ask why), told my other siblings and well it got revealed.
For the last week I have been stressed out and getting pleads from my siblings to get help/change/mistake/don't represent what is "gay" because I know to them they want to save me from this lifestyle. Lots of crying and arguing happened and I honestly hit really low points about my life this past week but had my support group there for when this happened cause from my research on this issue when coming out isolation is primary feeling. For the mean time I kept my distance from everyone till the shock goes away so we can meet up and talk calmly. The problem is I know my siblings are trying to convince me as confused and manipulate things to I need help.
I want some, I guess, pointers how to stand my ground but not show that I am thick headed/stubborn basically understand their concern but show them I am happy who I accepted to be. Plus how can I educate my siblings that being gay is not all about bathhouses, casual sex in the alley way, and all that stuff you learn from tv (Queer As Folks). That being gay is just small portion of who I am. I want to show them I have the same morals as they do and live much healthier lifestyle than my siblings had in my age.
Right now I am doing much better mentally and physically, even my hardest critic sibling asked me how I am doing and seems to finally have calmed down. I still have the rest to see how they will react as they are not talking to me.
Thank you for any advice
I am gay and I told a sibling who was more open minded and is helping me. We where suppose to work out how to tell my other siblings (not parents as their health cannot handle the shock). The problem is one of my siblings went through my phone(don't ask why), told my other siblings and well it got revealed.
For the last week I have been stressed out and getting pleads from my siblings to get help/change/mistake/don't represent what is "gay" because I know to them they want to save me from this lifestyle. Lots of crying and arguing happened and I honestly hit really low points about my life this past week but had my support group there for when this happened cause from my research on this issue when coming out isolation is primary feeling. For the mean time I kept my distance from everyone till the shock goes away so we can meet up and talk calmly. The problem is I know my siblings are trying to convince me as confused and manipulate things to I need help.
I want some, I guess, pointers how to stand my ground but not show that I am thick headed/stubborn basically understand their concern but show them I am happy who I accepted to be. Plus how can I educate my siblings that being gay is not all about bathhouses, casual sex in the alley way, and all that stuff you learn from tv (Queer As Folks). That being gay is just small portion of who I am. I want to show them I have the same morals as they do and live much healthier lifestyle than my siblings had in my age.
Right now I am doing much better mentally and physically, even my hardest critic sibling asked me how I am doing and seems to finally have calmed down. I still have the rest to see how they will react as they are not talking to me.
Thank you for any advice
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!
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The best thing you can do to show them that being gay doesn't make you any different is to not act any different than you have before. They'll come to understand that you are still you. This will also educate them that just because you're gay it doesn't mean you are a sex-crazed pervert.
Tell them exactly what you said in your post. You understand their concerns but this is who you are and you are happy and accepting of that.
But really, just give them time.
Also watch this
Dan Savage is the best
That covered pretty much everything I was going to say.
I wish I had found him much earlier on in my life. awesome though.
A lot of the hatred/problems is due to ignorance or misconceptions.
If you don't know the answers, that's okay too, but it should be treated like a topic they can discuss.
They may not have questions yet, but just let them know it is ok to.