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Creepin on ladies?
Popices
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hey everyone.
I don't consider myself to be a creeper, but I have a bit of a situation I would like some advice/guidance on, as outside opinions would be pretty cool.
I've been distant friends with one of my cousin's friends for about 3 years now, and have not really hung out with her much either in a group or one on one setting until about 3ish weeks ago. She has been in an off and on relationship for about 7 years (took one year break at about the midway point, and another small break somewhere else) with a pretty cool gentleman. Their relationship is pretty strange though (at least, to me...and almost everyone else that has ever spoke up about it). They have both graduated college and have 40h/week jobs but do not live together, and see each other about once a week with very little talking via phone conversation, text, IM or what have you in between. Keep in mind that every time she comes out with us she makes no mention of and does not bring her boyfriend...we really didn't know he existed for quite awhile.
I have hung out with her in a group setting about seven or eight times the past three weeks, and have found out that she is a pretty awesome person. One of the nights we were out at a bar, went back to my cousin's place, and ended up chatting all night from 3am til about 11am the next morning about everything under the sun. It was basically straight conversation with very little break in between...normally I do not have this sort of connection with people. Almost immediately though, she brought up how she dislikes her boyfriend's family and dove into a bunch of issues they've been having, etc. We were both mildly inebriated at this point and I was curious about the relationship so we had a long winded conversation which led to her stating that she had no plans to move in with him, nor did she plan to accept a proposal offer (we had the discussion about both of our futures, so I was not prying that much). She also said she was comfortable only seeing him once or twice a week and that they both have their own lives to lead...we chat about what it means to love someone, and general relationship stuff...our views were very opposite of one another. I have a strong interest in psychology and why people think the way they do, so it was interesting to see such a different outlook on the subject from what we are accustomed to.
The other night we partook in another conversation that lasted about two hours about various other topics; music, work, books...the usual. Then out of the blue she said she had not seen her boyfriend in quite awhile, and half jokingly wondered if he was cheating on her. A brief discussion followed, with me inquiring if she was happy in the relationship (because hey, if you bring up the notion of being cheated on things can't be that great, right? seems like she wanted a conversation about it to me) and I was basically told that I should stop making her question her relationship with said gentleman, in a rather abrupt way. It was kind of unsettling considering the lighthearted nature of the conversation just a few minutes prior, and I did not think I was overstepping my bounds because of they way the subject was presented by her.
She has initiated conversation with me several times throughout the past few weeks as well...I have not made any attempt to contact her on my own outside of offering an invitation to go out with our usual group of friends last weekend.
Today I talked to a mutual friend of mine who had spoke to her, and he said that she had asked him why I was being so weird/creepy lately. My behavior really has not been out of the norm with her, as I have been myself pretty much all the time...the only things I have done differently are discuss relationships, because she had brought them up herself.
If it so happens that we are both available in the future, I would definitely love to see if there is some romantic chemistry between us, but I am not a homewrecker and have absolutely no plans to move in on her if she is dating someone.
I feel like I am getting mixed signals from her, despite the fact that she is in a relationship.
I'm assuming me discussing relationships with her is what prompted the creepy/weird remark, but I didn't know it was such a sensitive issue.
Thoughts?
I don't consider myself to be a creeper, but I have a bit of a situation I would like some advice/guidance on, as outside opinions would be pretty cool.
I've been distant friends with one of my cousin's friends for about 3 years now, and have not really hung out with her much either in a group or one on one setting until about 3ish weeks ago. She has been in an off and on relationship for about 7 years (took one year break at about the midway point, and another small break somewhere else) with a pretty cool gentleman. Their relationship is pretty strange though (at least, to me...and almost everyone else that has ever spoke up about it). They have both graduated college and have 40h/week jobs but do not live together, and see each other about once a week with very little talking via phone conversation, text, IM or what have you in between. Keep in mind that every time she comes out with us she makes no mention of and does not bring her boyfriend...we really didn't know he existed for quite awhile.
I have hung out with her in a group setting about seven or eight times the past three weeks, and have found out that she is a pretty awesome person. One of the nights we were out at a bar, went back to my cousin's place, and ended up chatting all night from 3am til about 11am the next morning about everything under the sun. It was basically straight conversation with very little break in between...normally I do not have this sort of connection with people. Almost immediately though, she brought up how she dislikes her boyfriend's family and dove into a bunch of issues they've been having, etc. We were both mildly inebriated at this point and I was curious about the relationship so we had a long winded conversation which led to her stating that she had no plans to move in with him, nor did she plan to accept a proposal offer (we had the discussion about both of our futures, so I was not prying that much). She also said she was comfortable only seeing him once or twice a week and that they both have their own lives to lead...we chat about what it means to love someone, and general relationship stuff...our views were very opposite of one another. I have a strong interest in psychology and why people think the way they do, so it was interesting to see such a different outlook on the subject from what we are accustomed to.
The other night we partook in another conversation that lasted about two hours about various other topics; music, work, books...the usual. Then out of the blue she said she had not seen her boyfriend in quite awhile, and half jokingly wondered if he was cheating on her. A brief discussion followed, with me inquiring if she was happy in the relationship (because hey, if you bring up the notion of being cheated on things can't be that great, right? seems like she wanted a conversation about it to me) and I was basically told that I should stop making her question her relationship with said gentleman, in a rather abrupt way. It was kind of unsettling considering the lighthearted nature of the conversation just a few minutes prior, and I did not think I was overstepping my bounds because of they way the subject was presented by her.
She has initiated conversation with me several times throughout the past few weeks as well...I have not made any attempt to contact her on my own outside of offering an invitation to go out with our usual group of friends last weekend.
Today I talked to a mutual friend of mine who had spoke to her, and he said that she had asked him why I was being so weird/creepy lately. My behavior really has not been out of the norm with her, as I have been myself pretty much all the time...the only things I have done differently are discuss relationships, because she had brought them up herself.
If it so happens that we are both available in the future, I would definitely love to see if there is some romantic chemistry between us, but I am not a homewrecker and have absolutely no plans to move in on her if she is dating someone.
I feel like I am getting mixed signals from her, despite the fact that she is in a relationship.
I'm assuming me discussing relationships with her is what prompted the creepy/weird remark, but I didn't know it was such a sensitive issue.
Thoughts?
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She sounds like bad news.
3DS FC: 5343-7720-0490
She thinks your creepy.
Do I need to say it?
Find another skirt to chase, she's not into you.
this is telling me that shes just comfortable with you being in her friend zone. She likes you as a friend only because your willing to put up with her crap. At this point shes not interested in you and your just wasting your time.
In my experience, when a girl just wants to be friends with me she talks about things like problems with her boyfriend, crush, parents, etc. And then, of course, tells me that any woman who ends up with me will be lucky to have me. Girls try to be nice to you if they like you.
When she wants something else, there's actual flirting.
Why would she think you are weird to her? maybe she getting an "i like you" vibe from you and doesn't feel that herself
She wanted to talk to a friend. You are not a friend, you are a guy who wants to date her. This probably came through in your responses.
leaving the "creeper" comment she made aside, it sounds as if she's unable to make relationship choices.
that's all fine and good for her, people often can't or don't want to make decisions on who to date, or even if they want to stay with one person.
but for you, it's not good. you're looking for something that doesn't exist, and WILL disappoint. look elsewhere.
steam | Dokkan: 868846562
Pretty much this. You *may* be able to salvage a friendship, but you seriously have to get those thoughts about a potential relationship with her out of your head.
CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
All that said, do you really want to be the next guy in line seeing how she treats the current boyfriend?
You dudes can lock thread since I've gotten enough similar feedback. Thanks yo.