Artist's Corner [CHAT] thread

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  • KochikensKochikens Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Jumping out of his wheelchair to catch a bus


    I had a girl send me chocolates (Like, 60$ fancy ass french ones) before. Then she stomped all over my achey breaky heart a year later like a fucking sociopath. Boooo

    Kochikens on
  • PROXPROX Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    There are a lot of homeless around where I used to work. But I can't remember if they did anything strange.

    PROX on
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    edited February 2010
    guys I just let this huge rank fart loose in my office. If I'm going to keep doing this I need some air freshener or something

    Metalbourne on
  • BuckwolfeBuckwolfe Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Apparently this exercise business is starting to pay off a little. I've lost a couple pounds, and all those exhausting exercises I was struggling to do a few weeks ago have gotten a lot easier all of a sudden.

    I believe this is what they call progress.

    Buckwolfe on
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2010
    I put too many chilis in my chili hot chocolate. Woooof.

    tynic on
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    edited February 2010
    my head itches. I need a haircut.

    Metalbourne on
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    so guys
    ryan and i are thinking of getting a dog
    we're thinking of getting a mastiff

    i've been speaking to a breeder, she assures me they make great apartment dogs despite being the size of a small horse, they have very little expendable energy, they don't bark... they're basically big couch potatoes that need an hour or two out in a park every day throwing a ball around and lots o' love

    thoughts on this?
    has anyone had one?
    cake i know you have a big newf, a dog with a bit more energy, but a big dog nonetheless
    do you have many issues living with a big dog in the house?

    beavotron on
  • KochikensKochikens Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Are you sure you can take him out an hour or two every day?? Does your apartment allow it, and if you have to move/switch apartments, are you ok with spending more/looking longer/settling for less because a lot of apartments dont allow dogs? (especially large ones) is there a dog park near by? Do you have money put away for any emergency vet bills that could show up?

    Other than that, I really like mastiffs. Big dogs are awesome.

    Edit; Do you have someone willing to take him if you go on vacation?

    Kochikens on
  • tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2010
    Big dogs are usually perfect for indoors, since they're basically slightly mobile carpets. The only issues that have ever cropped up for me are

    1. big dog means big poop, and on unfortunately on occasion, big stomach upsets. This wasn't usually a problem when we had a giant dog, because we had a garden, but if s/he is indoors a lot, it could come up*.

    2. They will eat surprising things**

    3. They're usually easy to train, as the bigger breeds tend ot be reasonably bright, but because (other) people can freak out, they do need to be exceptionally well-trained. Also hauling on a lead with all your might while the dog just stands there is kind of embarassing.

    I've never owned a mastiff, but I've met a few. They were all lovable teddy bears.

    * My sister left our dog inside the house all day once or twice, with no access to outdoors. Bad news was she freaked out when she had to go poop, good news was that for some reason she knew to go into the bathroom. Bad news, she went and got stress diarrhea all over the walls of the shower.

    ** Ceramic pots. A cricket ball. Some small trees. An entire picnic table.

    tynic on
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2010
    You want a Mastiff and not a small, non-shedding dog?

    Two hours each day sounds like a lot compared to my dog, one 30 minute walk and he's tired and wants to nap.

    Munkus Beaver on
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  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    edited February 2010
    The first thing I consider when getting a new dog is, "If this thing were to go nuts, could I take it?"

    Metalbourne on
  • MagicToasterMagicToaster JapanRegistered User regular
    edited February 2010
    My friend had a Mastif, I hated that dog. It's so big that I never truly believed it to be a dog, but rather a small horse that could bark.

    MagicToaster on
  • Agent ColemanAgent Coleman Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Day 1:
    EnglishMastiffLeo8Weeks14Pounds1.JPG

    1 Year later:
    giant_mastiff.jpg

    Agent Coleman on
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2010
    I think that the breeder may be trying to 'make the sale' with you beavo.

    Munkus Beaver on
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    Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process.
    http://www.ccfa.org/
  • KochikensKochikens Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    giant%20English%20Mastiff.jpg
    35bb5tl.jpg
    n5lthe.jpg

    Kochikens on
  • NappuccinoNappuccino Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    I would ride that pony there on the rig-

    D: D: :D

    Nappuccino on
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    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    There's also the possibility you just can't really grow a bear like other guys.

    Not even BEAR vaginas can defeat me!
    cakemikz wrote: »
    And then I rub actual cake on myself.
    Loomdun wrote: »
    thats why you have chest helmets
  • rtsrts Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    beavotron wrote: »
    so guys
    ryan and i are thinking of getting a dog
    we're thinking of getting a mastiff

    i've been speaking to a breeder, she assures me they make great apartment dogs despite being the size of a small horse, they have very little expendable energy, they don't bark... they're basically big couch potatoes that need an hour or two out in a park every day throwing a ball around and lots o' love

    thoughts on this?
    has anyone had one?
    cake i know you have a big newf, a dog with a bit more energy, but a big dog nonetheless
    do you have many issues living with a big dog in the house?

    Well to answer you I will tell you about Franklin, and how he has changed my life for the better and worse. First of all, the breeder is right of course, big dogs tend to be very lazy which makes them ideal for smaller places. Franklin gets along fine in my house though its only 1100 sq ft divided into two floors. The thing is though, they crap often...especially as puppies. Are you up a lot of stairs? It could be a lot of work just getting him up and down to do his business. Stairs can also be really hard on big dogs.

    By far the biggest problem I have had with Franklin is drool. I don't think Mastiffs are as bad in general, but they certainly do drool a lot. You have to understand that this will affect you almost every hour of every day. If you don't want your clothing to have dried drool on it you are probably going to have to plan that out pretty carefully. There will be drool on your walls, in your car, on your tables on your TV screen and everywhere else you can think of. It is a constant chore to maintain.

    Training can be tough as well. At least for me, I found Franklin very easy to train when it came to just being around me. But it is difficult to train him to behave well around other people because they tend to get very excited when he is around and so he becomes excited as well. People just get really nervous around big dogs. They can be scary, and most people react to Franklin in a way that makes the situation worse. Also, a note on rough-housing. I think that one of the best parts of having a giant dog is that you can really rough house with it and have some fun...but I would suggest holding off on that too much until they are full grown. Wait until they are already well behaved, because I think some of Franklin's behavioral issues stem from a lot of the rough housing my roommate and I did with him when he was smaller.

    Is your car big enough? Assuming you are talking about an English Mastiff you are looking at a dog that is 20-30% larger than Franklin. I already have trouble with him in my car because he is so large, and I have a 5 door hatch which is a pretty good size. This goes for dog beds as well. Franklin is too big for any dog bed I have ever seen, so he gets his own couch. Do you have the room for something like a second couch or small mattress somewhere that you can pretty much dedicate to the dog? You won't want him on the same couch you use, it will get disgusting quick. Also that reminds me, you should get some kind of easily washable blanket or cover to put over the dog couch so you can just clean it easily when you need to.

    Food bills. I drop about $120 a month on food for him, a mastiff will cost more.

    The stairs are the biggest deal though. If you guys are on the third floor or above of whatever apartment complex you are in...it will be a real struggle getting a big dog up and down all of the time. And it won't be good for his joints. Even the second floor could be a problem.

    If you still think you want to get a Mastiff (and I am not discouraging you but trying to illustrate the realities of having a massive dog) then I will write more about the day to day of having a giant dog. But the main things you need to think about now are stairs, car, drool, and food bills.

    rts on
    skype: rtschutter
  • FlayFlay Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Flay wrote: »
    You know those big engines you see pulling freight trains. Well, when I got to the station tonight there was one of those going past only its wheels were on fire. I mean a massive cascade of sparks running all along the tracks; red-hot cinders in its wake.

    I assume it was a specialised vehicle for buffing the tracks but damn it was cool to watch. I wish I had my camera with me at the time (I took some pictures on my phone, however).

    Okay now answer me this: Why would they buff railroad tracks?

    Apparently they grind them every so often for grip. Buff was probably the wrong word to use but hey I'm a designer, I don't have any practical skills.


    Also, that dog looks like it could and would eat Franklin. Plus it's nowhere near as cute.

    EDIT: Be aware that dogs that big often have heart troubles, since their heart just can't cope with how big they've been bred to be.

    Flay on
  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited February 2010
    tynic and cake knows what they're talking about. I had an Akita, and he did amazingly well in small spaces. Being a third of the size of a mastiff, He could easily drag me half out of the vet when ever we went. That was despite his choke chain, he just didn't give a shit he hated the vet. Your dog will also have the ability to take shit right off your counters. My akita locked himself in a bathroom once and ripped through the wood on the door and dented the doorknob beyond repair with his mouth. They have a lot of power, They need to be trained really well so that sort of thing doesn't extend to all the time.

    Hatari fit on a giant dog bed we ordered, You may want to think about fashioning a bed on the floor for him. Even a twin bed with some covers that are easily washed wrapped about it. I suggest training him to stay off all other furniture. It was easy for Hatari to transition to a bigger house with more stuff because he knew what level all his shit was on. He never tried to claim new furniture.

    You also will have to be careful with toys, as it will be easier for them to destroy/swallow things. The mastiff in my neighbor hood uses a soccer ball to play fetch. Stuffed animals are likely right out.

    Another note is, I donno about mastiffs, but Akitas overheat if its super hot out. So I had to make sure to wake up and walk him for a long time in the cooler morning hours so his later walks could be short. Maryland and North Carolina are also very humid though.

    Iruka on
  • PROXPROX Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
  • J-PJ-P Registered User
    edited February 2010
    w00t! Enter the Dragon is on amc!

    Funky Kung Fu! Thats solid baby.

    J-P on
    Ray gun and sharpies.
  • Angel_of_BaconAngel_of_Bacon Moderator mod
    edited February 2010
    Get an old english sheepdog...because I love old english sheepdogs.

    I could make an argument about them being smaller than mastiffs and therefore you don't have to deal with OMG HUUUUUGE or their big fluffy fur being good for cold Canadian weather but to be honest I'm only recommending one because I love em.

    Though I'd guess they'd be pretty worthless as an "holy shit that dog is fucking huge" guard dog if that's what you're going for, they're too cute, goofy and friendly to carry that role off at all.

    Angel_of_Bacon on
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    I say spaniel, I love spaniels, every breed of spaniel has my approval. Their only downside is they have real trouble shifting ear wax, so they tend to get a lot of ear infections. I had 3 cocker spaniels as a lad and all 3 had ear problems.

    Mustang on
  • Angel_of_BaconAngel_of_Bacon Moderator mod
    edited February 2010
    I dunno, a friend of mine growing up had a springer spaniel, and it was the dumbest, most hyperactive, humpiest dog I've ever met.

    Angel_of_Bacon on
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    edited February 2010
    well if we're just telling Beav what dog to get, she should get a pomeranian.

    I mean, just look at that:
    100_0866.jpg

    Metalbourne on
  • Angel_of_BaconAngel_of_Bacon Moderator mod
    edited February 2010
    well if we're just telling Beav what dog to get, she should get a pomeranian.

    I mean, just look at that:
    100_0866.jpg

    Well, you've convinced me.

    Beavs, you must steal Metal's dog.

    Angel_of_Bacon on
  • DirtyDirtyVagrantDirtyDirtyVagrant Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Bacon needs a new avatar.

    One befitting the season.

    DirtyDirtyVagrant on
  • NappuccinoNappuccino Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    And then ship it to me

    Nappuccino on
    Like to write? Want to get e-published? Give us a look-see at http://wednesdaynightwrites.com/
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    There's also the possibility you just can't really grow a bear like other guys.

    Not even BEAR vaginas can defeat me!
    cakemikz wrote: »
    And then I rub actual cake on myself.
    Loomdun wrote: »
    thats why you have chest helmets
  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited February 2010
    Or just get a giant pom, and get a Chow. Or alternatively, a mini akita: The Shiba inu
    shibainu.jpg

    Iruka on
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Well the positive side to having a dog that weighs less than 20 pounds is that it can do this without killing you:
    img1234413938790.jpg

    Metalbourne on
  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited February 2010
    baaww.

    Though I'll have you know I took some naps on my akita. They make good back rests.

    Iruka on
  • J-PJ-P Registered User
    edited February 2010
    Holy shit! Bruce Lee was so fast that they had to slow the film down so you could see his moves.

    J-P on
    Ray gun and sharpies.
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    I dunno, a friend of mine growing up had a springer spaniel, and it was the dumbest, most hyperactive, humpiest dog I've ever met.

    So in turn all spaniels are dumb, hyper and humpy?

    Mustang on
  • J-PJ-P Registered User
    edited February 2010
    Why does that intrigue you?

    J-P on
    Ray gun and sharpies.
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Because spaniel racism needs to be dealt with at the core, the core being bacon and his spaniel hate crimes!

    Mustang on
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited February 2010
    Personally, for an apartment, I'd go with a Pom or a Shi-Tzu

    Munkus Beaver on
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    Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process.
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  • J-PJ-P Registered User
    edited February 2010
    Or a furby.

    J-P on
    Ray gun and sharpies.
  • NappuccinoNappuccino Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    J-P wrote: »
    Or a furby.

    Only if you take the electronics out.

    Nappuccino on
    Like to write? Want to get e-published? Give us a look-see at http://wednesdaynightwrites.com/
    Rorus Raz wrote: »
    There's also the possibility you just can't really grow a bear like other guys.

    Not even BEAR vaginas can defeat me!
    cakemikz wrote: »
    And then I rub actual cake on myself.
    Loomdun wrote: »
    thats why you have chest helmets
  • Angel_of_BaconAngel_of_Bacon Moderator mod
    edited February 2010
    Mustang wrote: »
    I dunno, a friend of mine growing up had a springer spaniel, and it was the dumbest, most hyperactive, humpiest dog I've ever met.

    So in turn all spaniels are dumb, hyper and humpy?

    No.

    I'm just saying that if Beavs were to take your advice as is and got a spaniel from Discount Warehouse of Assorted Spaniels' bargain bin, she may end up having to deal with constant leg-rape, which she may or may not appreciate, and she'd do well to, you know, get informed beforehand.

    Angel_of_Bacon on
  • J-PJ-P Registered User
    edited February 2010
    If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

    So.

    If the government decides to imprison a shit load of people in the future. We all must fart as one so we can make our own atomic bomb and fight back, w00t. Down with the man.

    J-P on
    Ray gun and sharpies.
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