The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
Final Fantasy: Don't Wanna Start Again, No They Don't Wanna Understand
Professor Snugglesworth
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
This is a Final Fantasy thread. We talk about Final Fantasy and vaguely Final Fantasy-related things.
But mostly we'll be talking about the long awaited:
Oh yeah, this game is out in a week, isn't it? I don't blame you for forgetting about it. Despite Square's promises for a multimillion advertising blitz, a smug online campaign consisting of actors posing as Square Enix managers and Leona Lewis comically holding a controller while being told to scare at a blank screen and pretend she's experiencing a wonderful fantasy adventure, offline buzz has been almost nonexistent.
So what's the story with this game? If the internet is considered a valid source of unbiased information and informative, level-headed forum goers, this is instantly the worst Final Fantasy game ever, if not the worst videogame ever. FFXIII has the audacity to do something new and different with the series when every other game followed a specific formula that has never been altered. It is a stain on an established franchise that everyone will instantly abandon until Final Fantasy XIV is released, in which comparisons will be made over how Final Fantasy XIII was absolutely perfect and the next game is now the worst game ever made.
No, I mean what's the story with this game. The plot.Oh. Well from my understanding, there are two cities, Pulse and Cocoon, where these people called the fal'Cie and the l'Cie live, and....
Yeah okay, I don't really know. Basically the good guys, your party members, have been branded by some evil(?) God(??), and are deemed as threats to the planet, and therefore hunted across every corner of the world while using the power of their Summons to fend off attackers.
In short, it's kind of like Berserk, only with a lot less
and a lot more
I heard this game was linear. Like straight path linear. That seems to be the buzzword associated with this game. Taking a cue from FFX but streamlining things even further, Final Fantasy XIII's areas consist of straight and specific paths while eliminating towns, equipment, and other instances of RPG filler. The streamlining could be seen as a positive step forward for the series, as Mass Effect 2 has shown that less can equal more. Or it could be seen as a lazy result of Japan's failure to grasp next gen technology.
Which version should I get, 360 or PS3? At this point it's been established by everyone and their mothers that the PS3 version is the superior of the two, featuring 1080p FMVs and better textures all in one disc. That said, the 360 version is still a worthy port in its own right, and nowhere near as disastrous as, say, The Orange Box on PS3. Of course people consider the fact it's on the Xbox at all is an unforgivable betrayal by Square, as bad as when they moved from Nintendo to work on the Playstation, proving how fanboy bitching can transcend three consoles.
Isn't there another game with XIII on the title? Something about a badass guy who has levitating swords and drives a car? That's Final Fantasy Versus XIII, which doesn't connect to the "vanilla" FFXIII at all. The "Versus" in the title refers to Testuya Nomura's own alternate take on what Final Fantasy's thirteenth game should be like. Which one will end up the better game? One thing's for certain....fans will endlessly bitch about it, then play it and love it. Then bitch about it a month later.
So who are the characters in this game? I'm glad you (I) asked. Here they are!
Girl Cloud: Unable to deal with Aerith's death no matter how much sex Tifa gives him, Cloud has regressed to reliving his past moments with the deceased flower girl by wearing the dress she picked out for him while finding new adventures in a distant land.
Scruffy Looking Beanie Guy: A reverse weaboo who delivers long speeches about heroism and fighting no matter how tough the odds are, but also leaves his face unshaven while wearing a beanie so American gamers will find him hip and edgy.
Chocolate Man V.3 The latest model in the Chocolate Man production factory, Version 3 is a more portable and streamlined model of V2 while further reducing the controversial design specs seen in V1.
The Great White Hope: The token bishonen character, who is instantly hated upon from people who have yet to recover from He Who Shall Not Be Named from Final Fantasy XII.
Vanilla All Over My Face: Also a token character, but she's female and cute, so it's okay. Also might be a lesbian, which is totally hot.
Girl Zack: After finally breaking things off with Girl Cloud, Girl Zack seeks comfort in the group's cute, questionably legal Australian. Internet users worldwide scour 4chan daily while awaiting the eventual hentai comics.
But mostly we'll be talking about the long awaited:
FINAL FANTASY XIII
Oh yeah, this game is out in a week, isn't it? I don't blame you for forgetting about it. Despite Square's promises for a multimillion advertising blitz, a smug online campaign consisting of actors posing as Square Enix managers and Leona Lewis comically holding a controller while being told to scare at a blank screen and pretend she's experiencing a wonderful fantasy adventure, offline buzz has been almost nonexistent.
So what's the story with this game? If the internet is considered a valid source of unbiased information and informative, level-headed forum goers, this is instantly the worst Final Fantasy game ever, if not the worst videogame ever. FFXIII has the audacity to do something new and different with the series when every other game followed a specific formula that has never been altered. It is a stain on an established franchise that everyone will instantly abandon until Final Fantasy XIV is released, in which comparisons will be made over how Final Fantasy XIII was absolutely perfect and the next game is now the worst game ever made.
No, I mean what's the story with this game. The plot.Oh. Well from my understanding, there are two cities, Pulse and Cocoon, where these people called the fal'Cie and the l'Cie live, and....
Yeah okay, I don't really know. Basically the good guys, your party members, have been branded by some evil(?) God(??), and are deemed as threats to the planet, and therefore hunted across every corner of the world while using the power of their Summons to fend off attackers.
In short, it's kind of like Berserk, only with a lot less
and a lot more
I heard this game was linear. Like straight path linear. That seems to be the buzzword associated with this game. Taking a cue from FFX but streamlining things even further, Final Fantasy XIII's areas consist of straight and specific paths while eliminating towns, equipment, and other instances of RPG filler. The streamlining could be seen as a positive step forward for the series, as Mass Effect 2 has shown that less can equal more. Or it could be seen as a lazy result of Japan's failure to grasp next gen technology.
Which version should I get, 360 or PS3? At this point it's been established by everyone and their mothers that the PS3 version is the superior of the two, featuring 1080p FMVs and better textures all in one disc. That said, the 360 version is still a worthy port in its own right, and nowhere near as disastrous as, say, The Orange Box on PS3. Of course people consider the fact it's on the Xbox at all is an unforgivable betrayal by Square, as bad as when they moved from Nintendo to work on the Playstation, proving how fanboy bitching can transcend three consoles.
Isn't there another game with XIII on the title? Something about a badass guy who has levitating swords and drives a car? That's Final Fantasy Versus XIII, which doesn't connect to the "vanilla" FFXIII at all. The "Versus" in the title refers to Testuya Nomura's own alternate take on what Final Fantasy's thirteenth game should be like. Which one will end up the better game? One thing's for certain....fans will endlessly bitch about it, then play it and love it. Then bitch about it a month later.
So who are the characters in this game? I'm glad you (I) asked. Here they are!
Girl Cloud: Unable to deal with Aerith's death no matter how much sex Tifa gives him, Cloud has regressed to reliving his past moments with the deceased flower girl by wearing the dress she picked out for him while finding new adventures in a distant land.
Scruffy Looking Beanie Guy: A reverse weaboo who delivers long speeches about heroism and fighting no matter how tough the odds are, but also leaves his face unshaven while wearing a beanie so American gamers will find him hip and edgy.
Chocolate Man V.3 The latest model in the Chocolate Man production factory, Version 3 is a more portable and streamlined model of V2 while further reducing the controversial design specs seen in V1.
The Great White Hope: The token bishonen character, who is instantly hated upon from people who have yet to recover from He Who Shall Not Be Named from Final Fantasy XII.
Vanilla All Over My Face: Also a token character, but she's female and cute, so it's okay. Also might be a lesbian, which is totally hot.
Girl Zack: After finally breaking things off with Girl Cloud, Girl Zack seeks comfort in the group's cute, questionably legal Australian. Internet users worldwide scour 4chan daily while awaiting the eventual hentai comics.
and then log out once one or both girls end up having a penis. then log back in again out of curiosity
Professor Snugglesworth on
0
This discussion has been closed.
Posts
Official PA Forums FFXIV:ARR Free Company <GHOST> gitl.enjin.com Join us on Sargatanas!
Thrice sir, thrice.
PS2
FF X replay
PS3
God of War 1&2 HD
Rachet and Clank Future
MGS 4
Prince of Persia
360
Bayonetta
Fable 3
DS
FF: 4 heroes of light
But rent always tells the truth.
PS2
FF X replay
PS3
God of War 1&2 HD
Rachet and Clank Future
MGS 4
Prince of Persia
360
Bayonetta
Fable 3
DS
FF: 4 heroes of light
Keikaku means plan...
You spoony bard!
PS2
FF X replay
PS3
God of War 1&2 HD
Rachet and Clank Future
MGS 4
Prince of Persia
360
Bayonetta
Fable 3
DS
FF: 4 heroes of light
Perhaps XoB has been dead the whole time and the thread was just his memories playing out
Or XoB succeeded in his plan on destroying the boards in his thread with the unholy power of the Wheee'A'Bou
Or XoB went crazy from his time as OP and has gone rogue. Only WANG can take him down now
Or XoB is actually Prof Snugglesworth's mom from the future
So you're not getting a PS3 game because of the lack of backwards compatibility, yet purchasing the same game on a different console that no longer supports backwards compatibility and charges you for peer-to-peer online gaming. You really are sticking it to the man.
I'm a god! I'm all-powerful! Uwee-hee-hee... I'll collect more Posters...I'll extract their magic... And then... ... ... I'll revive the Warring OPs! I've already drained all your powers! You're useless to me now! You too! Take a hike!
Apparently there's a shortage problem all of the sudden.
Um, why exactly are they selling out everywhere?
I do want one too I gotta say.
Blog||Tumblr|Steam|Twitter|FFXIV|Twitch|YouTube|Podcast|PSN|XBL|DarkZero
Nomura can't tell a story, but he can do crazy LSD setpieces like no-one else.
So, does anyone have the latest word on how XIII is doing in Japan saleswise, what with all the linearity/insane plot/no towns malingering?
I don't have current numbers, but as of the week ending January 24th, Final Fantasy XIII had sold about 1,861,700 copies in Japan. I'll do a bit of digging and see if I can find anything more recent, but I don't imagine the numbers would be radically different. The week of Jan 18 - 24 was the last week that FFXIII appeared in the Top 20 sales charts, selling ~7,500 copies that week.
Like perahps, you'd play as lightning and co. in regular 13, and during the story they regularly encounter a mysterious antagonist, and in Versus 13 you play the game from his perspective, running into Lightning's group every so often to fight as bosses.
Sadly, they just appear to be completely different games that for some reason share the same number.
To be fair, X-2 lacked lesbian hybrid motorcycles.
The two apparently take place in the same universe/mythos, but there's no telling how that will actually play out. It sounds like it might be a vague, small, inconsequential connection.
I can't think of anything funny to say without adding spoilers.
Spoilers that everyone apparently knows about, since it's "so early it shouldn't be considered a spoiler", but still a spoiler in my book.
Blog||Tumblr|Steam|Twitter|FFXIV|Twitch|YouTube|Podcast|PSN|XBL|DarkZero
I feel like someone who should know has told me before that Versus XIII is only called that for the sake of marketing it with a number because those sell better, and has little, if anything, to do with FFXIII.
I even thought that FFX needed more of that stuff.