Anubis: Spoiler Alert...We didn't Win

Eyeshock

Hi there. Per the rules I've lurked here...actually for years. Sadly, I see not so many familiar names. Little thing like a deployment and having the ability to post blocked by those silly government types will do that for ya. Oh well.

Anyhow, as I'm sure everyone is aware: The Escapist had that whole contest for a contract going on. Now before anyone flips: I was never fond of any of their content except maybe Yahtzee's whole show and even that wears thin. The winning comic didn't surprise me at all. I'd say my Surprise was rivaled only by my Excitement for an Honorable Mention when amongst such mentions was a comic called IM with zero actual art. This is how things go when a Web Comic "contest" is judged by three "artists" all of which don't draw. (at least not what they're E-Famous For). But enough with my sore loser attitude!

Long story short: They had money. I wanted it. I didn't win. And I'm not really here to find out why as much as I'm looking for ways to improve on our submission now that we've decided to continue it full time.

The comic submission was called Anubis. It follows a pre-Middle Kingdom ancient god (which anyone with a fifth grade history book will be familiar with) and his struggles of still existing in a world that has long forgotten him. Anubis would get a part time job, try to stay content with eternity, and it was really going to be more of a graphical novel than a "gaming comic". The gaming aspect was introduced because it became real obvious from the judge's comments halfway through that that's what they exclusively wanted. So I'll apologize in advance for some of the flat dialogue and simple perspectives. There was a sort of a rush.

I'm genuinely looking for brutal honesty on any avenue. I'm a big boy and would really appreciate the flavor of constructive criticism folks are accustomed to recieving here. /endasskissing Please keep in mind, the way things unfolded: the target audience is now gamer people. Sadly my dream of a deeply dramatic story of the sadness a god would feel in this situation is behind me. Ohhhhh The Drama.

Thanks again in advance.

DirtyDirtyVagrant

I think that you could really benefit from some life drawing. The anatomy and coloring in your drawings is pretty off, and some simple observational studies would really help out.

Tubesteak Samurai

I see a lot of problems with light sourcing. You seem to be using highlights and shadows only to enhance the object or character you happen to be drawing at a given moment instead of to establish environmental lighting. It's a sin but one that is particularly offensive when you go to such great lengths to integrate shadows and highlights into your work.

In the last panel of the last image your anubis character, for example is rife with shadowy shadows but his guitars have almost none. Also no one is casting a shadow anywhere through out the comic. I can see you tried to imply some lighting across the floor from the television but then none of the walls in the room reflect that lighting. I'd just try to work on using light to create atmosphere and not just to make your colors look cool.

Also you could stand to work on your perspective. In that final panel the room is incredibly deep. You probably noticed that when you tried to draw the couch and it noticed it starting to sprawl. Perspective is a tricky one that I still struggle with. It's common to suffer from "The Sim's syndrome" where you are building a room and you try to give yourself plenty of room for all the objects you plan to put in it only to find that you've given yourself way more room than is necessary. You'd be surprised how small a natural looking room can be.

Iruka

I'd personally be interested to know what the comic was going to contain before you went the games-jokes route. I mean, I guess adding anubis give it something slightly different, but to me its just a mask for another version of "two guys talking about video games." Personally it just screams "How do we take this concept that's been done to death and make a tiny difference? Well this ones an god, look at all the wacky stuff he can do! Wakka wakka!"

I feel like you can be more creative and personal than that, but that's just my opinion. Tube and vagrant got you covered on anatomy and lighting, which is just something you'll have to keep working at.