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trentsteel
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
My friend, Tom comes into the city because he's meeting his friend's new wife for coffee. She's going to talk about this tax thing they've all been going on about. Something about getting everything you've paid in the last four years back all at once. Which, for my friend Tom, would be about $120,000 from his job as a rig push.
So he wants me to come to this meeting because he knew I had to learn how to read/make legal documents for our film and plus I have played Magic: the Gathering.
So we meet this chick. She had glasses and great BOOBS all hangin' out. She starts into her spiel and the whole time she keeps pinching and touching Tom any time her speech had the word "pinch" or "flesh and blood" in it.
It was something about how there is a public "you" and a private, flesh-and-blood "you" and that "Tom Kenning" was a corporate entity and only a SIN number; it was not the "real" "Tom Kenning".
THEREFORE
One can get the last four years of paid taxes back all at once by getting them to fill out these forms claiming that the "private Tom Kenning" was unfairly taxed/not subjective to tax laws. The only catch is that whenever the government phones he must NEVER answer, "Yes, I am Tom Kenning" or admit that he is Tom in any way, he must say, "All requests of the entity, "Tom Kenning" must be submitted in writing." Also this chick and her boss would become Representatives of the corporate entity, "Tom Kenning" in all correspondence.
They get 40% of the money he gets back and that's the deal, she says, thrusting her boobs ever closer to his arm.
So my friend says, "I'm IN!"
Then she tries to get him to sign this document and he lets me look it over first.
I wish I knew an accountant or lawyer because I am certain they would laugh so hard they would frame the thing on their wall. It might as well have been written in crayon. Among the other numerous flaws that stood out:
1. 600.00 "processing fee" OF COURSE
2. The person signing is "completely accountable and liable for all possible consequences of the decision".
3. This chick and her boss, "are entitled to 40% of all monetary gain earned by the applicant" (this "monetary gain" is NOWHERE defined in the document and when I asked her why there was no definition of what that meant she just kept answering, "Oh, that just means whatever he gets out of this awesome deal...It doesn't need to be on the paper"
4. They wanted everything from his SIN number to his birth-certificate.
And to top it all off, at the bottom of where you sign it says: "This is not a legal document, nor is it subject to any public court of laws."
So I step on his foot REALLY HARD
So he wants me to come to this meeting because he knew I had to learn how to read/make legal documents for our film and plus I have played Magic: the Gathering.
So we meet this chick. She had glasses and great BOOBS all hangin' out. She starts into her spiel and the whole time she keeps pinching and touching Tom any time her speech had the word "pinch" or "flesh and blood" in it.
It was something about how there is a public "you" and a private, flesh-and-blood "you" and that "Tom Kenning" was a corporate entity and only a SIN number; it was not the "real" "Tom Kenning".
THEREFORE
One can get the last four years of paid taxes back all at once by getting them to fill out these forms claiming that the "private Tom Kenning" was unfairly taxed/not subjective to tax laws. The only catch is that whenever the government phones he must NEVER answer, "Yes, I am Tom Kenning" or admit that he is Tom in any way, he must say, "All requests of the entity, "Tom Kenning" must be submitted in writing." Also this chick and her boss would become Representatives of the corporate entity, "Tom Kenning" in all correspondence.
They get 40% of the money he gets back and that's the deal, she says, thrusting her boobs ever closer to his arm.
So my friend says, "I'm IN!"
Then she tries to get him to sign this document and he lets me look it over first.
I wish I knew an accountant or lawyer because I am certain they would laugh so hard they would frame the thing on their wall. It might as well have been written in crayon. Among the other numerous flaws that stood out:
1. 600.00 "processing fee" OF COURSE
2. The person signing is "completely accountable and liable for all possible consequences of the decision".
3. This chick and her boss, "are entitled to 40% of all monetary gain earned by the applicant" (this "monetary gain" is NOWHERE defined in the document and when I asked her why there was no definition of what that meant she just kept answering, "Oh, that just means whatever he gets out of this awesome deal...It doesn't need to be on the paper"
4. They wanted everything from his SIN number to his birth-certificate.
And to top it all off, at the bottom of where you sign it says: "This is not a legal document, nor is it subject to any public court of laws."
So I step on his foot REALLY HARD
trentsteel on
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My friend almost got roped in by some boobs and a crazy story and several of his friends have already dumped their money into this thing and I think he should tell his buddy to start hitting his wife more
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
sign me up
Hahahaha trent you are awesome, don't ever change.
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
Was it Elizabeth Hurley?
Also I noticed when I asked if I could have a copy of the form she said, "Oh, sorry I only brought one." Like her damn bag wasn't FULL of them
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
Stay for the identity theft.
The only scam I can think of that I fell for was a Facebook group offering free stuff for basically no reason. It was obviously too good to be true, but, in my defense, I was pretty liquored up and didn't give them any information that isn't already readily available (and inaccurate). Then the group got deleted by Facebook because it was phony.
So there's that. If anything ever looks too good to be true, it is, because if life wasn't that way, everyone would be rich by now. And then where would all our poor people live? In houses? Fat chance. Not in my America.
The old rule remains: If it is too good to be true, then it damn well is - even with big tits.
dont tell me they are fake too
your = belonging to you
their = belonging to them
there = not here
they're = they are
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
Yeah this is what I was trying to suggest.
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
More like The Sting
Oh, no, wait.
so that's what the processing fee entails
the first thing I noticed was that there are a lot of people who wear Q-Rays
The whole time I am there, they're both very courteous to me, offering me drinks (Arizona green tea, in sealed bottles, thank god), introduce me to the 2 dogs he has that are very cute and playful, and watch fishing shows while I take a look at their computer. After a while it seems like it's bogged down with viruses (turns out it was a bunch of piece of shit rootkits and stuff, all very nasty. Ended up just reformatting it, putting on Windows 7 as requested and charging him $100). I take it home to reformat it and get it up and running.
The next day I run it back to his house, and the guy who is paying me leaves in his truck for whatever reason, leaving me with Richard. Now Richard is about 50, mostly bald, missing a few teeth, but is very well spoken and seems quite intelligent. I plug the computer in, show him how Win7 works, some things they should do every few weeks to keep it running well, and so on. After about 30 mins Richard asks me what I would think if he told me everything I knew was a lie. I said I wasn't sure. He said I seem like an intelligent man, and he's only telling me this because he thinks I deserve to know, that I would do good things with this knowledge. Oh, man.
He proceeds to tell me all manner of 'secret' knowledge. America means No Mercy for the Sheep, he says. A means No, Meri means Mercy, Ca means Sheep. Cursive language is also bad, and it's called cursive because it means to curse something. He says on Canadian currency, the 'nad' is in cursive, rendering it unreal, which leaves just 'Ca' and 'a', which means The Sheep. What language this means this in he did not say.
Language written in all capitals is 'writing of the dead,' because on tombstones and death certificates they use all capital letters. This, he says, means that your birth certificate is actually a death certificate because it is in all capitals too. You are not legally alive. There is also a rule of boxes, where anything in a box doesn't count. US Dollars used have boxes as borders around their edges, and thus were not actual legal tender, until several years ago when they changed it because a man named David Wynn Miller sued the United Nations for $68 billion and won. This man, David Winn Miller, is very important he says.
David Wynn Miller is the man who wrote the information on all of this. This is the man that discovered all of this. He discovered the way we speak isn't 'real,' as he called it. It's false because it's adverb-verb in structure. He sums it up as anything that doesn't have 'Of The' in front of it, doesn't count as legally stated. It would have to be stated as Of the United States of the Americas. Flags in court rooms have borders around them, rendering them unofficial, leaving the property they reside on unlcaimed. Richard tells me David-Wynn Miller has claimed these territories for himself. He owns them now, this Miller fellow. All courts are now his.
Richard tells me he wants to write himself a Certificate of Life, since legally right now all he has is a 'death certificate.' He needs 3 people to sign the document, and has so far only found 2. He wants me to be the 3rd. Documents aren't legal until they're signed by 3 parties he says.
David has a website, he tells me (and shows me), so that I believe him. He says his friend showed him clips of the videos, that's how he heard, but he's not allowed to see them without buying him so he baught himself copies from David. They're only $300 he says. He says he's watched them over and over, and now has 1200 hours devoted to their study, memorising and writing notes about them. If I want, he can copy one for me and show me and then I buy them for myself.
He has been talking to me for 3 hours. When I realise this, I tell him I have to get going, that I don't know where I stand on this. I take his number, say I will call him if I consider it. The whole thing was very surreal. I wondered if I were dreaming it. I leave the trailer, it is now night time, and I speed the fuck home, greatful he does not know my full name or could see my license plate number as I bolted out.
You can visit DWMs website here and see this nonsense for yourselves.
Wasn't there something recently about all the bomb detectors they use there are basically just witching sticks but they think they work?
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
Veretas post
Good story Trent.
AHAHAHAHA YES
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
GODDAMN!
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
Really they throw you out for misconduct for being an idiot, but that only fans the flames.
This is all part of something called the sovereign citizen movement, according to the internetubes.