The image size limit has been raised to 1mb! Anything larger than that should be linked to. This is a HARD limit, please do not abuse it.
Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it, follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!

How do people see me?

KaseiusKaseius Registered User regular
edited April 2010 in Help / Advice Forum
Hey, H/A. Never posted here before. I'm having a bit of an emotional problem right now.

Right now, let me start this with my current situation: I just lost my girlfriend of almost a year after we had to stop communication for a while. After asking me to wait for her until we could communicate again, it seems that she's already forgotten about me and moved on to someone else.

Within that year, I started college. Before that, I worked at a game store for half a year or so. Before that, I was a NEET for almost 2 years. I'm 22 now. Not having a girlfriend anymore, not having any emotional support, it's a really hard change.

So, I need to find myself. I want to see how others see me, because I have no idea. Obviously, this is a ridiculous thing to ask, but I'd like to know what sort of picture you get at a first glance. Last year, I also decided that I was tired of feeling extremely fat, so I started doing exercise regularly and changed my diet. At most on my history record, I weighed almost 280 -- I'm down to around 230 now. I'm 6'4''.

I don't really know what else to type here, but I'm going to add some random pictures. Am I intimidating looking? Attractive? Unattractive? How would you describe me?

If you've watched any of my LPs, then you know how I sound already and know what kind of humor I sometimes use. If not, you can get a listen to hear how I sound on my youtube channel.

Here are some randomly pictures varying from 2 weeks ago to yesterday:

Sorry if this sort of topic doesn't fly around here. I really just needed to get this off my chest.

Thanks for your time.

www.youtube.com/user/kaseius -- Let's Plays
Kaseius on

Posts

  • RentRent I'm always right Fuckin' deal with itRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Caution following post contains harshness
    Kaseius wrote: »

    Holy shit these are photos of the same guy? One looks like a...well....a typical loser geek and the other looks like a pretty cool dude to hang out with

    Rent on
  • KaseiusKaseius Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Rent wrote: »
    Caution following post contains harshness
    Kaseius wrote: »

    Holy shit these are photos of the same guy? One looks like a...well....a typical loser geek and the other looks like a pretty cool dude to hang out with

    Haha, same person.

    Kaseius on
    www.youtube.com/user/kaseius -- Let's Plays
  • RentRent I'm always right Fuckin' deal with itRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Yeah keep with that first look, that looks good on you

    Also yeah, 6'4" at 230 is not too bad, plus based on your (I assume recent) photo of you at a bathroom mirror in the same outfit as the first look you seem to carry the weight pretty well

    Also as an anecdote I don't know you very well, but I've seen you in G and T before and you seem like a pretty cool and nice guy. Personally I'd view the breakup as a learning experience and just learn and heal from it. Whatever you do, don't let it get you down, and I'd turn that (I'm assuming you're having a lot of negative/depressing thoughts here) into motivation to hit the gym harder

    In any case dude, I hope you do well man

    Rent on
  • KaseiusKaseius Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Rent wrote: »
    Yeah keep with that first look, that looks good on you

    Also yeah, 6'4" at 230 is not too bad, plus based on your (I assume recent) photo of you at a bathroom mirror in the same outfit as the first look you seem to carry the weight pretty well

    Also as an anecdote I don't know you very well, but I've seen you in G and T before and you seem like a pretty cool and nice guy. Personally I'd view the breakup as a learning experience and just learn and heal from it. Whatever you do, don't let it get you down, and I'd turn that (I'm assuming you're having a lot of negative/depressing thoughts here) into motivation to hit the gym harder

    In any case dude, I hope you do well man

    Thanks bud -- I actually started something else recently to get me motivated, so now I'll hopefully be double motivated. So, go with shorter hair and collared shirts? Got it. Maybe I should look into contacts.

    Kaseius on
    www.youtube.com/user/kaseius -- Let's Plays
  • EskimoDaveEskimoDave Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Your wallpaper needs updating. and you need to shave. you can't grow proper facial hair.

    EskimoDave on
  • KaseiusKaseius Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    EskimoDave wrote: »
    Your wallpaper needs updating. and you need to shave. you can't grow proper facial hair.

    Bathroom wallpaper.

    Some of them are from before I shaved, some are after.

    Thanks, though. Shave often.

    Kaseius on
    www.youtube.com/user/kaseius -- Let's Plays
  • admanbadmanb the bored genie Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    T-shirts are not inherently a problem. It's video game t-shirts that don't fit your body and don't fit your coloration that are a problem. :)

    But yeah you look fine. I only listened to 30 seconds or so of your LP but you sound fine too.

    admanb on
  • KaseiusKaseius Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    admanb wrote: »
    T-shirts are not inherently a problem. It's video game t-shirts that don't fit your body and don't fit your coloration that are a problem. :)

    But yeah you look fine. I only listened to 30 seconds or so of your LP but you sound fine too.

    Yeah, something about that photo looks off. I'm totally not that pudgy! D:

    Thanks!

    Kaseius on
    www.youtube.com/user/kaseius -- Let's Plays
  • VisionOfClarityVisionOfClarity Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    This look I hate, can't explain why but nothing is working.

    This look I like the most. Keep the glasses. This guy I'd give my number to.


    Your height and weight are pretty similar to my boyfriend and his biggest issue is finding clothes that fit him properly. Pants are never long enough (hard as hell to find a 36) and he always needs to try on shirts to make sure they're long enough but aren't too baggy. He can be a L or an XL depending on the brand.

    VisionOfClarity on
  • RhinoRhino Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Wow. I'm 6'4" and ~220 lbs. I used to have ache bad too, but eating right seems to have cleared it up nicely.

    You're a good looking guy.

    If you weight lift, exercise you will be looking good. Drop ~20-30 more lbs and put on some muscle and you'll have a nice frame/body.

    Rhino on
    93mb4.jpg
  • BelruelBelruel Life and death and love and birth and peace and war on the planet earthRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    okay, first impressions (and obviously this is only physical, real beauty is within/being a good person blah blah)

    I'm a girl in your same age group if that makes any difference as to how my opinion matters.

    -bad skin, get a face wash regimen and clear that stuff up (I have this same problem, and it sucks a lot)
    -groom those brows a bit, not full on waxing, but they could use some attention
    -shave
    -not too fat at all, normal lookin! keep losing weight and tone up though because it will make you feel and look great
    -never sport this look/hair again
    -especially shave off the hair under your lower lip
    -make sure your shirts fit properly, not too large. the shoulder seam should fall diagonally across the shoulder.

    other than that stuff, you look fun and happy in that first image, and remember that break ups happen, and they suck! don't jump right back into the dating pool, take a break, work on your body image so you feel good about yourself, and work on other stuff to make sure you'll bring a full, functional, happy half to a relationship.

    good luck

    Belruel on
    3DS friendcode: 2380-4618-2503
  • LieberkuhnLieberkuhn __BANNED USERS
    edited April 2010
    Kaseius wrote: »
    Maybe I should look into contacts.

    Or not. You look pretty good in this pic: http://img535.imageshack.us/img535/1396/img0396f.jpg

    Lieberkuhn on
    While you eat, let's have a conversation about the nature of consent.
  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    "how others see me" is a lot more complicated than how you groom yourself (although obviously that's part of it.)

    The best solution would be to just frankly ask people you are close with.

    Advice based on the pictures would be to shave cleanly if that is the extent of the beard you curently wear, use contacts rather than the glasses (if you haven't made this change already), and find a neater/more stylish way to wear your hair.

    Eat it You Nasty Pig. on
    NREqxl5.jpg
    accept your death, and become dangerous
  • TopiaTopia Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I used to have acne, getting rid of it makes a huge difference in ones self-confidence (which seems to be your problem here, and thats fine, glad you're working on improving yourself).

    Try putting a fresh towel on your pillows every night. It will help

    Also, maybe take a look into your eyebrows. They are quite big, which many times you might not think about, but they do make a difference. I've gotten complimented on my eyebrows before, so people do notice. As for your hair, grow it out a bit, and let a hairdresser throw some (semi-professional) ideas at you. They do know their shit.

    Topia on
  • MindLibMindLib Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    My instant reaction was:

    cameron.jpg

    -ish, but spicier.

    MindLib on
  • KaseiusKaseius Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Topia wrote: »
    I used to have acne, getting rid of it makes a huge difference in ones self-confidence (which seems to be your problem here, and thats fine, glad you're working on improving yourself).

    Try putting a fresh towel on your pillows every night. It will help

    Also, maybe take a look into your eyebrows. They are quite big, which many times you might not think about, but they do make a difference. I've gotten complimented on my eyebrows before, so people do notice. As for your hair, grow it out a bit, and let a hairdresser throw some (semi-professional) ideas at you. They do know their shit.

    I'll try that towel business. I generally just wash my face two or three times a day, but I never considered that.

    Yeah, eyebrows. Heh. Not sure what to do with 'em, but one of my classes loved it when I called them my "mustaches"

    Thanks for the advice, everyone. Much appreciated. :^:

    Kaseius on
    www.youtube.com/user/kaseius -- Let's Plays
  • RubberACRubberAC Sidney BC!Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I don't think you'd look bad sans facial hair, just keep the neck shaved and don't let it get outta control.

    RubberAC on
    raneasig.png
  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Kaseius wrote: »
    Rent wrote: »
    Caution following post contains harshness
    Kaseius wrote: »

    Holy shit these are photos of the same guy? One looks like a...well....a typical loser geek and the other looks like a pretty cool dude to hang out with

    Haha, same person.

    First pic looks like a happening young man. Second pic looks like a young kid whose clothes don't fit.

    Corvus on
    :so_raven:
  • DibsDibs Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Have you considered playing a team sport?

    It's a little bit of extra motivation to get toned, great way to meet people, and above all it's amazing for your confidence and social skills.

    Dibs on
  • admanbadmanb the bored genie Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Lieberkuhn wrote: »
    Kaseius wrote: »
    Maybe I should look into contacts.

    Or not. You look pretty good in this pic: http://img535.imageshack.us/img535/1396/img0396f.jpg

    Yeah. Those glasses work really well.

    admanb on
  • EliteLamerEliteLamer __BANNED USERS
    edited April 2010
    Kaseius wrote: »
    Topia wrote: »
    I used to have acne, getting rid of it makes a huge difference in ones self-confidence (which seems to be your problem here, and thats fine, glad you're working on improving yourself).

    Try putting a fresh towel on your pillows every night. It will help

    Also, maybe take a look into your eyebrows. They are quite big, which many times you might not think about, but they do make a difference. I've gotten complimented on my eyebrows before, so people do notice. As for your hair, grow it out a bit, and let a hairdresser throw some (semi-professional) ideas at you. They do know their shit.

    I'll try that towel business. I generally just wash my face two or three times a day, but I never considered that.

    Yeah, eyebrows. Heh. Not sure what to do with 'em, but one of my classes loved it when I called them my "mustaches"

    Thanks for the advice, everyone. Much appreciated. :^:


    What the doctor can give you will work much better than just washing your face. They have some really mild gels taht have worked great for me when I had acne with zero side effects.

    EliteLamer on
    SEGA
    p561852.jpg
  • eternalbleternalbl Registered User
    edited April 2010
    I'd wear that P4 shirt whether people thought it looked good or not, as long as it fit properly. But I'd wear jeans rather than khakis.

    eternalbl on
    eternalbl.png
  • AlyceInWonderlandAlyceInWonderland Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    eternalbl wrote: »
    I'd wear that P4 shirt whether people thought it looked good or not, as long as it fit properly. But I'd wear jeans rather than khakis.

    Liming that for truth. Seriously, jeans are MUCH more flattering with a tshirt, and in general, really. As long as they fit correctly, that is.

    Khakis are just god awful.

    Also, Nthing the glasses look. You're a good looking dude, just don't get down on your self, and stay optimistic!

    AlyceInWonderland on
  • ihmmyihmmy Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Belruel wrote: »
    okay, first impressions (and obviously this is only physical, real beauty is within/being a good person blah blah)

    I'm a girl in your same age group if that makes any difference as to how my opinion matters.

    -bad skin, get a face wash regimen and clear that stuff up (I have this same problem, and it sucks a lot)
    -groom those brows a bit, not full on waxing, but they could use some attention
    -shave
    -not too fat at all, normal lookin! keep losing weight and tone up though because it will make you feel and look great
    -never sport this look/hair again
    -especially shave off the hair under your lower lip
    -make sure your shirts fit properly, not too large. the shoulder seam should fall diagonally across the shoulder.

    other than that stuff, you look fun and happy in that first image, and remember that break ups happen, and they suck! don't jump right back into the dating pool, take a break, work on your body image so you feel good about yourself, and work on other stuff to make sure you'll bring a full, functional, happy half to a relationship.

    good luck

    Totally agree with all the points above, especially the skin-regimen thing (honestly I noticed your skin before your purdy eyes :( purdy eyes first!), and the brows are a touch intense (not like full waxing-worthy, as mentioned, but the occasional plucking of edge eyebrow hairs may help)
    And definitely agree with the "never sport this look/hair again" comment for that one pic. You look like a totally different guy, and not in a good way

    ihmmy on
  • ZeromusZeromus Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Personally, I think worrying about how others see you is probably a lot less important than worrying about how you see yourself. And given that you've just posted a massive series of photos on an anonymous internet forum in a moment of low self-esteem, I'd venture a guess that you are not exactly bursting with confidence.

    That's pretty much the biggest problem. I know guys that look like complete chuds that manage to get laid a lot more often than some dudes I know that are totally handsome on the surface level but have no idea how to handle themselves and think they look unattractive. (Which, of course, makes them unattractive.)

    You've apparently lost a lot of weight and look good when you're cleaned up. Puff up that chest and be outgoing. Girls (and frankly, basically anyone you're going to meet) respond to that. Sure, that doesn't seem to be the exact situation you're looking for advice on, but, well, isn't it in the end?

    Also, if you're going to wear a polo, do not button all of the buttons. And do something else with your hair.

    Zeromus on
    pygsig.png
  • DiscoZombieDiscoZombie Registered User
    edited April 2010
    You look totally normal, nothing to worry about. I had bad skin until my mid 20's, and it turns out most girls don't fixate on something as dumb as that so you don't have to be self-conscious or anything. In case you were, that is. You look good, very approachable. Honestly, I think the best advice you could be given is to just not worry about how you look, because you don't have anything to worry about in that department. Now just go out (or online) and meet someone.

    DiscoZombie on
  • Grid SystemGrid System Registered User
    edited April 2010
    How long have you had acne? Assuming since some time in your teens, have you noticed it getting better over time? Worse?

    Washing your face and using OTC cleansers and moisturizers might work, but consider going to a dermatologist for advice.

    I mean, it's not a huge deal, but we can often be our own worst critics, and seeing a bunch of blemishes in the mirror day after day can be rough on your own self-image.

    Grid System on
  • TopiaTopia Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    You look totally normal, nothing to worry about. I had bad skin until my mid 20's, and it turns out most girls don't fixate on something as dumb as that so you don't have to be self-conscious or anything. In case you were, that is. You look good, very approachable. Honestly, I think the best advice you could be given is to just not worry about how you look, because you don't have anything to worry about in that department. Now just go out (or online) and meet someone.

    I don't like this, because people can't start to "not worry about how they look." If you are self-conscious its the way it is. You can learn to hide it, or change enough to start being happy with yourself.

    I used to have huge self-confidence issues, and then I read The Game by Neil Strauss and it taught me that a few minor changes to my regime, how I dress, and I how I handle my body language can create drastic changes in how people think of me. So, I did some things, and I realised this is true. I think the op obviously has some (minor?) self-confidence issues, and outside, polite, and impartial opinions on how he can "better" himself (op, ignore this word, it makes you sound "worse" which isn't true), like we are giving him, will just help him feel better about his appearance, and therefore more self-confident.

    He doesn't NEED to change, but it's clear he wants to. And that is fine.

    Topia on
  • EliteLamerEliteLamer __BANNED USERS
    edited April 2010
    How long have you had acne? Assuming since some time in your teens, have you noticed it getting better over time? Worse?

    Washing your face and using OTC cleansers and moisturizers might work, but consider going to a dermatologist for advice.

    I mean, it's not a huge deal, but we can often be our own worst critics, and seeing a bunch of blemishes in the mirror day after day can be rough on your own self-image.

    Yeah.. if he wants to get rid of it then the doctor is the only way to go..This is the stuff I had at one time..

    http://www.differin.com/

    EliteLamer on
    SEGA
    p561852.jpg
  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    uh oh somebody brought up The Game

    Eat it You Nasty Pig. on
    NREqxl5.jpg
    accept your death, and become dangerous
  • TopiaTopia Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Dyscord wrote: »
    uh oh somebody brought up The Game

    whoops. it's advice for picking up women shouldn't be used (in my opinion), but it shows that anyone can change their appearance (subtle things, too) enough to boost self confidence plenty.

    Topia on
  • admanbadmanb the bored genie Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Topia wrote: »
    Dyscord wrote: »
    uh oh somebody brought up The Game

    whoops. it's advice for picking up women shouldn't be used (in my opinion), but it shows that anyone can change their appearance (subtle things, too) enough to boost self confidence plenty.

    Good save. :^:

    It also has some very true bits about how things the socially disinclined don't know they're doing are ruining potential interactions.

    It also has some very squicky bits, but so it goes.

    admanb on
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited April 2010
    To me you look like a normal guy that I wouldn't think twice about holding a conversation with. But I don't care about skin or clothes or hair or anything and I actually think that guy in the other thread who wants to change his look looks really cool, so I'm no good for these.

    ceres on
    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn

  • webguy20webguy20 Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Keep the glasses, work on the skin care. I was on acutane as a teenager, but I had much worse acne. Cleared it up permanently though. Clothes that fit well are a big deal too.

    webguy20 on
    Steam ID: Webguy20
    Origin ID: Discgolfer27
    Untappd ID: Discgolfer1981
  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    OP, read your post again.

    Your issue isn't how you look or anything.

    Your issue is lacking self-confidence.

    The entire post just listed stuff wrong about you.

    I mean think if some woman showed up and just told you every bad thing that happened to her for the last six months. It'd be pretty boring!

    You need to find self-confidence far more than you need some neat button up shirt.

    Saying this what people have suggested as in joining spoting clubs or something is a great idea.

    Blake T on
  • TopiaTopia Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Blaket wrote: »
    OP, read your post again.

    Your issue isn't how you look or anything.

    Your issue is lacking self-confidence.

    The entire post just listed stuff wrong about you.

    I mean think if some woman showed up and just told you every bad thing that happened to her for the last six months. It'd be pretty boring!

    You need to find self-confidence far more than you need some neat button up shirt.

    Saying this what people have suggested as in joining spoting clubs or something is a great idea.

    Self confidence comes from how you view yourself.

    He views problems with himself which he wants fixed. We're helping him with that.

    Topia on
  • GungHoGungHo Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I'd suggest cleaning your skin very well before and after shaving. That will help some with the skin issues.

    As far as the female thing goes... shit happens, and it sounds like it was totally her issue and not yours. I wouldn't concentrate on that.

    GungHo on
    "Adios, mofo" -- TX Gov Rick Perry (R)
  • SpacemilkSpacemilk Registered User
    edited April 2010
    Keep the glasses. Also, you have pretty eyes!

    Yeah, I would clean up the brows a little. You can get them waxed for not-too-much or you can pluck them yourself. Just be careful that you don't overdo it so they look like girls' eyebrows, i.e., only do so much shaping. Also you can reduce the volume of your brows by actually trimming the ends (harder than it sounds) and this makes a BIG difference.

    Work out, eat right. Those two things alone will make you feel a lot happier and more confident. Plus you'll have a lot more energy.

    I'd say get rid of the skin problems asap. See a doctor if you have to, but it looks like you have pretty minor problems that could probably be solved with good hygiene and OTC products.

    I noticed in one of your pictures that your teeth are a little yellow (keep in mind I had to view them on my phone - stupid work firewall - so I may not be seeing it correctly, just fyi)... consider getting some tooth-whitener stuff. A pretty smile + your pretty eyes = swoon.

    I'm not sure if I like your haircut. I think it needs some kind of product, right now it looks like it goes all over the place. A little gel would give it some direction.

    Spend a little money on one or two outfits that make you feel really good, if you've got the spare cash. A couple of pants that fit, some shirts that say "I'm classy and cool". Not t-shirts. Not khakis.

    Work on your posture. Make sure you are always standing up straight.

    Spacemilk on
  • RyscaRysca Registered User
    edited April 2010
    If you're looking to clear up your skin, I highly recommend this. You can pick it up at your local store (Walmart, Target, etc) for about $5 in the face wash aisle. ~4 weeks after I started using it, the little bit of acne I had disappeared. If you can't find that exact product, anything with a ~3% benzoyl peroxide should work the same.

    Rysca on
  • John MatrixJohn Matrix Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Two things:

    Glasses are optional, being a life-long glasses wearer who now wears contacts, I would suggest contacts unless you have a pair of glasses that work, girl.

    Clothing. Wearing of. Don't wear the top button of your polo shirts done up. Don't wear your dress shirts with more than one button undone.

    Possibly wear same with white undershirt. (See First Party for instructions http://www.pennyarcademerch.com/fp-care.html)

    [Edit] And shave. Soon you'll have the tall, dark, and handsome thing going.

    John Matrix on
Sign In or Register to comment.