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Stag and Doe?
Ande
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hey guys...
So I'm engaged, and getting married next year. My maid of honour, however, is also being maid of honour for her other best friend, who is getting married in this July.
I've never been married before, and I'm the first of my friends to get married, so when I was asked (by my maid of honour) to buy a ticket for her other bride's stag and doe, I was kinda.... surprised.
I'm told the point of a stag and doe is to 'raise money' for the wedding. I find it hard to believe that you can raise enough money from selling tickets (10 bucks each I think) to help pay for the wedding, after renting a hall and buying booze and all that jazz for the stag and doe itself.
I don't know the other bride well, I've only met her a few times, and while I guess she's a nice enough person in her own way... she's not exactly the type of person I'm going to try to become better friends with. I'm not invited to her wedding, but I'm still supposed to help 'support' her and her fiancé by buying tickets to a stag and doe?
This whole 'I don't know you well but help me pay for my wedding that you're not coming to' kinda thing seems really..... tacky? to me.
So basically I'm just wondering, is selling tickets to a stag and doe really that common? Do people actually manage to 'make' money from one? Am I really supposed to buy a ticket (even if I'm not going to the stag and doe or the wedding) and then.... hope she buys a ticket to mine? (If I even have one)
* I should probably note that both my and my fiancé's parents are prepared to help us with our wedding, so maybe we're not as worried about the cost as the other bride. I just honestly didn't know you had to pay to go to a stag and doe! <insert naivety here> lol
So I'm engaged, and getting married next year. My maid of honour, however, is also being maid of honour for her other best friend, who is getting married in this July.
I've never been married before, and I'm the first of my friends to get married, so when I was asked (by my maid of honour) to buy a ticket for her other bride's stag and doe, I was kinda.... surprised.
I'm told the point of a stag and doe is to 'raise money' for the wedding. I find it hard to believe that you can raise enough money from selling tickets (10 bucks each I think) to help pay for the wedding, after renting a hall and buying booze and all that jazz for the stag and doe itself.
I don't know the other bride well, I've only met her a few times, and while I guess she's a nice enough person in her own way... she's not exactly the type of person I'm going to try to become better friends with. I'm not invited to her wedding, but I'm still supposed to help 'support' her and her fiancé by buying tickets to a stag and doe?
This whole 'I don't know you well but help me pay for my wedding that you're not coming to' kinda thing seems really..... tacky? to me.
So basically I'm just wondering, is selling tickets to a stag and doe really that common? Do people actually manage to 'make' money from one? Am I really supposed to buy a ticket (even if I'm not going to the stag and doe or the wedding) and then.... hope she buys a ticket to mine? (If I even have one)
* I should probably note that both my and my fiancé's parents are prepared to help us with our wedding, so maybe we're not as worried about the cost as the other bride. I just honestly didn't know you had to pay to go to a stag and doe! <insert naivety here> lol
Ande on
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edit- well, you do pay if you are going to the stag/doe party, because they can be costly so you pay your way usually, but that means you're paying to go out to eat/party or whatever, not 'here is my money but I'm not going.'
Decline politely but thank her for inviting you and leave it at that. If you're MoH doesn't bring it up again consider it closed business.
Probably just a coincidence, you're just...describing a situation which is creepily similar to one going on near me (including similar location).
Anywho, personal details aside, my wife and a bridesmaid are currently organising a stag and doe for my wife's sister. Both of them advised the bride not to go through with it since there's not a good chance the bride will make a profit but the bride insists so we're trying to sell tickets. I really don't see why anyone except friends of the bride and groom would want to go though and have had no luck selling tickets myself due to this fact.
I concur.
And people make mad cash on Wedding socials, because you sell the tickets, sell the booze, and have raffles and draws with donated items.
Seriously, you're talking $10,000+ from one night, most of it from people you don't or only vaguely know.
[edit] Also, here in MB, "Doe" parties are usually called "Stagettes"
[the more you know]
I was more surprised at the whole concept of using the stag and doe to 'make money' or 'help pay' for the wedding itself. It never occurred to me that that's why people had one, but I also never really thought much about it. I'm not at that part of my own wedding planning yet.
I didn't mean to sound like I was criticizing the other bride or anything, I was just wondering how common this is.
It's definitely a regional thing. I actually thought it was mostly a UK thing until now.
Not here in Manitoba.
First comes the Wedding Social, attended by the Wedding Party, Families, Friends, Distant Relatives, and many dozens of strangers. Tickets are usually sold beforehand by the Wedding party and close friends, as well as at local gas stations and convenience stores in the smaller communities. The Wedding Party usually handles things like getting tickets printed, getting the temporary liquor license, booking the hall, hiring a DJ, organizing bartenders, acquiring raffle prizes, and so forth. Typical prices are $10 Entrance fee, $2.50 per drink ticket, 10 Raffle tickets for $5. A light snack or meal (often called a "Lunch") is usually served around midnight. The overall event usually opens at 8pm, with last call occurring at 1am.
Next the Stag and Stagettes, usually planned/organized by the Best Man and Maid of Honor, respectively, usually a few days to a week before the Ceremony.
And then the Wedding Ceremony.
And then the Wedding Banquet.
And then the Wedding Reception.
It should be noted that the Ceremony, Banquet, and Reception may be separate, or partially lumped together, or all in one, it's pretty much just a question of preference here.
Weddings are stressful enough with the reception and ceremony so I'd skip anything more complicated than 'Getting a beer with friends' for before parties.
What? No strippers? Fuck that noise.
Actually, this is also done a lot in East Asia.
Seriously, like 80% of the girls I've boned I first met at a Social.
Well, compare the two.
1) Strip club
- Pay for drinks
- Pay for girls to take of their clothes
- Go home horny
2) Stag and Doe
- Pay for drinks
- Pay for games
- Maybe that cute girl wants to hook up with you?
Buy a ticket to get in, they sell booze not give it away, there also usually games, and draws and stuff. Sometimes guests (usually the wedding party) bring things that can be sold/auctioned/given away in draws that people buy tickets for. So yeah, you can generate quite a bit of money, and people who are coming to the wedding get to meet others that are, since often there will be some groups that haven't met.
e: well looks like it all got explained much before I got here.
It's not a UK thing at all.
Probably confused with 'stag' parties, which is basically the British word for bachelor parties. Bachelorette parties in the UK are called 'hen' parties.
Absolutely nothing to with stag and doe parties, which I've only ever heard of as being in Canada.
OP - Yes it's tacky, but yes, I've heard it works, and that people do raise a lot of money.
It's not rude to say no.
And yes, they do make money. They sell booze. They have games. They have raffles. They have "gambling."
Tacky or not, it is so common where I live that I do not know a single person who got married who did not have one.
It's not like you're just ponying up dough. They're a lot of fun, and for the price you pay for booze/prizes it's actually pretty good. I've seen door prizes of flat screen plasmas, fridges, leather couches, etc.