Saburbia was a rather adorable puppy. So adorable in fact that the family he belonged to never bothered to pay attention to him, lest they become a slave to his adorableness. Left largely to his own devices, Saburbia took a strong liking to watching violent action movies.
He would spend the day watching Muscled men with high powered guns rescue beautiful large chested women, only taking the occasional break to pee on the carpet and hump the occasional chair leg. Saburbia began to emulate his favorite action heroes, even going so far as to take up smoking cigars and using snappy one liners before attacking a pillow, and then subsequently humping his kill.
Everything was peaches for Saburbia until one day a group of men in suits bust through his front door and began a prolonged gunfight with his masters. Saburbia attempted to rush to his owners aid, only to find him slumped over in the kitchen, gushing blood from a dinner plate sized hole in his stomach.
The armed men burst into the kitchen and leveled their guns at the adorable puppy. They smiled as the adorable puppy pulled out an adorable little stoagie and lit it before picking up his fallen masters gun. He then adorably looked at them with an adorable angry face and said "woof" before gunning them all down in a rather adorable fashion.
Saburbia searched the men and their cars, gathering up a small arsenal of assault rifles and machine pistols before taking one last solemn adorable look at his home, and then heading out into the world to rescue large chested beautiful women.
I'm not going to reveal myself just yet but I'll warn you that if anyone says a single bad word against birds they'll get a Homing Pigeon Special up their clacker and they won't live to tell the tale.
bsjezz on
0
Options
Irond WillWARNING: NO HURTFUL COMMENTS, PLEASE!!!!!Cambridge. MAModeratormod
edited January 2007
The Iron Retriever
Origin: Will was out walking with his faithful golden retriever on a day just like any other. He would throw a tennis ball deep into the woods, and the dog would bound after it, only to return moments later with a slightly slobbery ball clutched in its teeth. This game of fetch continued as it normally did for quite some time, until eventually Will became tired and decided to sit down and read for a bit. His dog, not one to give up so easily, began to pester him to continue playing, nudging him with its snout and pawing at his leg. Angrily, Will picked up the ball and threw it as hard and as far as he could into the deepest part of the woods. Satisfied that this would buy him some time to relax, he sat down once again and began to read.
An hour passed before Will realized that his dog had not returned with the ball. He called out a number of times, but there was no response, and his dog did not return to him. He began to venture deeper and deeper into the woods calling for his dog but to no avail. Deeper and deeper he went until he had completely lost his way in the thick of the forest. Night began to fall and panic began to set in. He heard rustling behind him and turned hoping to see his dog. What he saw seemed to defy all rationale or logic. It was a small bear covered from head to toe in what appeared to be peanut butter.
Will screamed in horror and began to run as fast as he could into the woods. He continued to run and scream, and probably would have done so indefinately had he not tripped over a tree root and came to a tumbling screaming halt. He lay motionless in the dark, silent aside from his heavy breathing and constant screaming. He heard more rustling behind him, and prepared for a fight by curling up into a small ball, and screaming even louder.
His dog emerged from the bushes, gave him a quizzical look, then padded over and dropped a metal object next to his head. Will reduced his screaming to a reasonable level, and examined the object beside him. He held it up to the moonlight to get a better view, when he was suddenly blinded by a brilliant burst of light. He tried to yell but there was no time, the light consumed him, filling his entire being with a searing hot energy. So intense was his pain that he thought he would surely die. But then, as quickly as it had occurred, everything ended, and Will found himself once again crumpled on the forest floor screaming.
His dog began to talk to him, (which is a rather frightening experience when one has not been taking any drugs to theri knowledge), and explained to him about how he had been chosen to become the Iron Retriever, a defender of justice and protector of the people. There was a whole lot more to the explanation, but Will did not hear much of it as he was still screaming both from the shock of having seen a peanut butter bear, being filled with energy, and now from realizing that he had finally gone mad since his dog was talking to him and telling him that the iron bone he held in his hand would give him magical armor or something.
He eventually stopped screaming and took up the mantle of the Iron Retriever.
Many of us already have groins of steel and Dr. Erotic probably wouldn't mind the 'surprise loving', but I'll be damned if these rape-bots get their hands on an innocent rubber boy like Choco. Here, I think I have something. Don the famous 'Caged Lovebird' Chastity Belt. It will lock onto your flexible crotch and prevent intrusions for 48 hours! Hurry, the drills are pumping harder!
Origin: Tim Johnson was a roadie, and a damn good one at that. The crowd might not have ever cheered for him, and the women might not have thrown theirselves at him, but he knew that he was a vital part of the rock machine. With out him, there wouldn't be anyone to carry the microphone cables, or to then tap the microphone and say test (well truthfully he had never tapped the microphone to say test, but he was sure that one day he would work his way up the roadie ladder and get a piece of that pie.)
On one fateful night when working a gig for a Dutch metal band Klogggggggggggggggggg, Tim finally got his chance. The band wanted to use uninsulated steel cables for their wires because it would be "fucking metal," and the head roadie refused on account of how "abso-fucking-lutely goddamn in-fucking-sane and dangerous that god-fucking-damn idea is. Fuck" Tim, not knowing much about the nature of electricity since he had missed the afternoon special dealing with issues such as this, volunteered for the job.
Tim grinned as he proudly walked out on stage carrying the reel of steel cable, and continued to grin right up until the moment he plugged it in at which point he was promptly electrocuted with 121 gigawatz. Luckily enough for Tim, rather than burning him to a crisp, the electricity only altered his chemical make up and giving him supernatural abilities.
I gots to get some sleep now though.
The raping continues on the morrow.
Y'hear that, Kusu? You're going to be brutally raped until Noom starts working on the next installment, tomorrow. Depending on how long he sleeps, it could be up to 12 hours before the good time rape fun stops.
So I don't miss any more(damn you sleep) I go around crazy shooting rape bots in their shins while licking off the peanut butter stuff Kusu dipped me in while doing so.
Look Out it's Sabs! on
NNID: Sabuiy
3DS: 2852-6809-9411
0
Options
HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
So I don't miss any more(damn you sleep) I go around crazy shooting rape bots in their shins while licking off the peanut butter stuff Kusu dipped me in while doing so.
Your guns are probably jammed from all the peanut butter.
Posts
Poison Arrow has magic herbs. Dr. Erotic has access to perscription drugs.
I think I like the way this is heading.
3DS: 2852-6809-9411
Origin: Will was out walking with his faithful golden retriever on a day just like any other. He would throw a tennis ball deep into the woods, and the dog would bound after it, only to return moments later with a slightly slobbery ball clutched in its teeth. This game of fetch continued as it normally did for quite some time, until eventually Will became tired and decided to sit down and read for a bit. His dog, not one to give up so easily, began to pester him to continue playing, nudging him with its snout and pawing at his leg. Angrily, Will picked up the ball and threw it as hard and as far as he could into the deepest part of the woods. Satisfied that this would buy him some time to relax, he sat down once again and began to read.
An hour passed before Will realized that his dog had not returned with the ball. He called out a number of times, but there was no response, and his dog did not return to him. He began to venture deeper and deeper into the woods calling for his dog but to no avail. Deeper and deeper he went until he had completely lost his way in the thick of the forest. Night began to fall and panic began to set in. He heard rustling behind him and turned hoping to see his dog. What he saw seemed to defy all rationale or logic. It was a small bear covered from head to toe in what appeared to be peanut butter.
Will screamed in horror and began to run as fast as he could into the woods. He continued to run and scream, and probably would have done so indefinately had he not tripped over a tree root and came to a tumbling screaming halt. He lay motionless in the dark, silent aside from his heavy breathing and constant screaming. He heard more rustling behind him, and prepared for a fight by curling up into a small ball, and screaming even louder.
His dog emerged from the bushes, gave him a quizzical look, then padded over and dropped a metal object next to his head. Will reduced his screaming to a reasonable level, and examined the object beside him. He held it up to the moonlight to get a better view, when he was suddenly blinded by a brilliant burst of light. He tried to yell but there was no time, the light consumed him, filling his entire being with a searing hot energy. So intense was his pain that he thought he would surely die. But then, as quickly as it had occurred, everything ended, and Will found himself once again crumpled on the forest floor screaming.
His dog began to talk to him, (which is a rather frightening experience when one has not been taking any drugs to theri knowledge), and explained to him about how he had been chosen to become the Iron Retriever, a defender of justice and protector of the people. There was a whole lot more to the explanation, but Will did not hear much of it as he was still screaming both from the shock of having seen a peanut butter bear, being filled with energy, and now from realizing that he had finally gone mad since his dog was talking to him and telling him that the iron bone he held in his hand would give him magical armor or something.
He eventually stopped screaming and took up the mantle of the Iron Retriever.
If so, I would like to be shown as more than a silhouette.
"oh god not again..." red the bunny is going to attempt to jump over the bar, and take cover. Looking for a back/trap door too.
oh... and if I find one of them little billy clubs, bartender use to persuade folks to leave, I'm snatching it.
Give me a moment to use my Owl-Eyed Goon-o-Meter to determine the nature of these impolite intruders!
t redx: the A guy was Captain Awesome who was attempting to form some kind of justice league, he is also the guy who got crushed.
er... Think that is right. It's been a long while.
I'm pretty intrested in jumping behind the bar to hide, and look for an exit or weapon.
Bear it up real nice.
"I say, chaps! These Rapebots seem to like going down as much as Lady Cassandra!"
This goes so well with your sig.
Also, I shoot a poison arrow at the Rape Bots. I mean, robots can be poisoned right?
Keeping powers/weaknesses secret for the moment.
I guess I'll watch.
BWUAHAHA
But the rapebots were many
I attempt to forcibly grab Flexiboy and wrap the 'Caged Lovebird' Chastity Belt around his waist.
"Not to worry, bsjezz! Should a rapebot attack, I need only stretch my wang around and penetrate him in turn!"
you do not have those powers.
I gots to get some sleep now though.
The raping continues on the morrow.
UNFORTUNATELY, I am the World's Fastest Snail!..
Which is really just regular speed, when ya think about it.
All I can really do after that is cheer you guys on. Keep at it!
3DS: 2852-6809-9411