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Wag your tail when you hear JAIL

JigrahJigrah Registered User regular
edited April 2010 in Social Entropy++
Guess who experienced a 36 hour period of incarceration?

Set up
last year I was leaving a theme party and one bar, and heading to another bar. My brother was part of the theme party, and decided to chase me down. He wanted my keys, and I didn't want to give them to him. I wasn't driving, and had already arranged for one of my co-workers to drive me home. He wasn't having any of that though, and decided to try and physically remove the keys from me.

He is much more sober then I am, and puts me in a headlock. Just as he does this the police show up, ten minutes later you have a cowboy and an indian cuffed on the ground for fighting. Fifteen minutes later I am in the back of the police car heading to jail. Except I'm not being co-operative to their questioning, and tell them only such things as my name, date of birth and social. Then I get sick, and so they call me an ambulance. I fell asleep in the ambulance. Three hours later I woke up in the hospital, feeling pretty good. No needles or anything in me, I walk out of my room and a nurse has me do a sobriety test. Then they release me.

I thought I wasn't charged with anything, turns out I was. See I never signed that citation sheet, and I think it has become practice for officers to sign it for you. Well when they mailed the citation out they mailed it to the wrong address. Since I never knew of it, I never showed up to court, which is a big no no. That is when they put the warrant out for me.

Recent story
Monday 2pm - In the back of the cop car, my chubby wrists tightly constrained by the cuffs. I bear the pain though, and twist awkwardly to get the cell phone out of my pocket. Good thing it's no Iphone and simply a nokia brick from the early 2000's. I am able to send a text message to my brother, it is supposed to read "In Jail, see you in few days". It ended up being "in hail red set in few days." Close enough.

Nothing really exciting happened, cop threatened to put that I was uncooperative when I wouldn't tell him where I worked or what my cell phone number was.

Did the whole search, then the sign for possessions, then the give them all your cash and say goodbye to it. I ended up getting a meal though, it was pretty good, not sure why all the other people were bitching about it. Eventually they put me up in the paddy wagon, and I get taken to the correction facility. Their computers are down though, so they can't book us. Slowly but surely new captures are filed into the holding cell. Soon there are about twenty of us and conversations going left and right.

Apparently in some Pens tobacco costs just as much as weed, and a can of dip goes for $50. The way they get the goods? Partnerships between those that are in there for life and the guards. Makes sense really.

What really got to everyone (outside of being in jail) was that they were going to miss 4-20, you should have heard the groans and moans about that. I learned a bit about bondsman and jail bonds. See I thought for a $1000 you had to fork over $1000, which would have sucked because I am practically penniless. Instead you can pay 10% to a bondsman (plus $37.50) and that would net you freedom.

I didn't get that option though, I didn't even have the opportunity to make a phone call. Eventually we started getting processed and put in a cell around 2:00 am. Slept for a few hours before a head count, then breakfast, then oh hey I am going to court today.

Lots of cuffs and transport, sliding around in the paddy wagon, lots of bullshitting, lots of cops. Soon I am in the court room and I haven't even talked to a lawyer yet.

Justice system works really funny, almost like it is some kind of Mexican bazaar. The original punishments start off so high, then they get haggled down to more reasonable terms. What this creates is an illusion for the inmates of a good deal. One guy was looking at 50 years for assaulting a cop, then when he got 12 he was all excited and happy. I wonder if they do that intentionally, either way it makes having a lawyer necessary even if you want to plead guilty.

Myself? I got all charges dropped and released without bond, it's cause I was an Eagle scout.

I thought they would just let me go, but no I have to go back to jail, then wait for the paperwork to get processed. Twelve hours later I am released at 12:30 am in the middle of downtown. They took my cash and gave me some plastic in return, never gave me a phone call and only at the end gave me my cell phone. Too late to call anyone I hoofed it to the bar I work at. Which was thankfully still open, eight drinks later one of my coworkers drops me off at my home.

This whole fuck the police attitude, I can kind of understand it a bit better. The corrections officers were pretty big dicks who did not give a fuck about you. I asked for toilet paper to 3 different CO's, then twice on the medical emergency button. This was in a span of eight hours, and never got any toilet paper. In the end I resulted to a lunch bag and some orange peels. My ass never smelled fresher.


tl;dr I went to jail because they mailed a citation to the wrong house, and so I never went to court for the citation. Jail is pretty boring, you just sit and wait, but that is the government for ya. At court all charges were dropped, but then it was waiting game to get released. Corrections officers are pretty dickish, the lack of professionalism is pretty terrible.

SE++, any fun jail stories?

Jigrah on
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Posts

  • WimbleWimble Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    jigrah, puh-lease

    jigrah, police

    Wimble on
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  • UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Why would you tell this here?

    Why?

    Usagi on
  • DragonicityDragonicity Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Rap Culture

    Dragonicity on
  • Clint EastwoodClint Eastwood My baby's in there someplace She crawled right inRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Is it too much to hope that you were raped in prison?

    Clint Eastwood on
  • LockoutLockout I am still searching Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    that sucks, Jigrah

    good that the charges were dropped

    Lockout on
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  • WimbleWimble Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Rape Culture

    Wimble on
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  • Bloods EndBloods End Blade of Tyshalle Punch dimensionRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I went to prison once. I was put there for killing my wife (I was innocent). There I befriended a elderly black man who could get anything you wanted. Through a series of misadventures I managed to dig myself out of prison and escape to mexico after taking all the money from the corrupt warden.

    Bloods End on
  • Baroque And RollBaroque And Roll Every spark of friendship and love Will die without a homeRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    In the end I resulted to a lunch bag and some orange peels. My ass never smelled fresher.

    I lol'd.

    Baroque And Roll on
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    SteamID: Baroque And Roll
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Jigrah is gangsta.

    Pony on
  • Baroque And RollBaroque And Roll Every spark of friendship and love Will die without a homeRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I bet he got some sweet prison tats.

    Baroque And Roll on
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    SteamID: Baroque And Roll
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2010
    Cloudman wrote: »
    Is it too much to hope that you were raped in prison?

    You can't rape the willing.

    Raijin Quickfoot on
  • DragonicityDragonicity Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Wimble wrote: »
    Rape Culture

    Toe-may-toe, Toe-mah-toe

    Dragonicity on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Wimble wrote: »
    Grape Culture

    Pony on
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2010
    I bet he got some sweet prison tats.

    like what's-his-face? the guy that hit on/insulted bel a while back? with the wings?

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I bet he got some sweet prison tats.

    like what's-his-face? the guy that hit on/insulted bel a while back? with the wings?

    Munkus has Jail-house ink???

    Stale on
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  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2010
    hahahahaa

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • JigrahJigrah Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I bet he got some sweet prison tats.

    There were a couple of guys who have been locked up before. One was in for four years and the other in for six. They were showing each other their prison tats and talking about some of the people that they both knew.

    Holy shit, its a small world in jail communities. So many people knew the same people it was a little funny, the bondsman and their family, DJ's at different bars, just weird crazy connections came out left and right.

    Even funnier when you saw someone new come in the waiting cell who was friends with someone already there. Just crazy.

    Jigrah on
  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I'm here all week.


    tip your waitresses.

    Stale on
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  • OlivawOlivaw good name, isn't it? the foot of mt fujiRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Saw that joke coming a mile away

    Still funny

    Olivaw on
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    PSN ID : DetectiveOlivaw | TWITTER | STEAM ID | NEVER FORGET
  • JigrahJigrah Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Cloudman wrote: »
    Is it too much to hope that you were raped in prison?

    Naw, I joined the Brotherhood.

    I also learned about which gangs controlled which pods and stuff like that.

    Oh man, and thermals, they go for good money.
    Pony wrote: »
    Jigrah is gangsta.

    There were about 15 of us in the holding cell, so I tried to start a game of Mafia. There were a few people interested but not enough. Although the crazy guy that kept asking if anyone had smokes probably wouldn't have been a good player.

    So I just told jokes for about half an hour.

    Jigrah on
  • WimbleWimble Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    but that would make us teases, kosh

    Wimble on
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  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    People seem to get "jail" and "prison" confused.

    Prison is where you don't drop the soap and you have to beat someone up in the first day otherwise you're someone else's bitch.

    Jail is just full of pathetic dudes who got in arguments with thier wives and duis

    Metalbourne on
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I have some stuff hovering over my head that might conceivably end like that if I get screwed

    Fandyien on
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  • AphostileAphostile San Francisco, CARegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I don't know, the whole story seems like silly goose shenanigan fiction.

    Aphostile on
    Nothing. Matters.
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2010
    Here's the mail
    It never fails
    It makes me wanna wag my tail
    When it comes I wanna wail

    MAAAAAAAAAAAIIILLLLLL

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
  • JigrahJigrah Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Fandyien wrote: »
    I have some stuff hovering over my head that might conceivably end like that if I get screwed

    Jail kinda sucks, shitty food, complete boredom, and a feeling of resentment that just burns inside of you. It wasn't bad for a day and half, but I could see how the accumulation after months or years can really eat at someone.

    The lack of professionalism in the officers also makes you want to hit them, but you can't because then you would get in trouble. So you see other inmates take aggression out on other inmates. I didn't see any violence, but there some verbal abuse that stemmed from one inmate getting pissed off at the CO and redirecting their anger to another inmate.

    Jigrah on
  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    People seem to get "jail" and "prison" confused.

    Prison is where you don't drop the soap and you have to beat someone up in the first day otherwise you're someone else's bitch.

    Jail is just full of pathetic dudes who got in arguments with thier wives and duis

    yep

    i've never been to prison

    but i've been in jail a few times, it's mostly just boring and stinky and humiliating

    it's not really dangerous or scary

    Pony on
  • NarianNarian Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I like how the first thing you did once you were released from jail for fighting while drunk is to go get drunk.

    Narian on
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  • Baroque And RollBaroque And Roll Every spark of friendship and love Will die without a homeRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I got stopped by a crazy bitch trying to sell me baked goods out of a bag at Five Guys at 1 in the morning.

    We blew her off.

    I then ran into my RA, my roommate, a few guys from down the hall, and one of my roommate's drunk friends at the entrance to my building. The drunk girl told me she was jealous of my slender frame and told me that my body type made me look feminine.

    A night in the life of Baroque and Roll.

    Baroque And Roll on
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    SteamID: Baroque And Roll
  • JigrahJigrah Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Aphostile wrote: »
    I don't know, the whole story seems like silly goose shenanigan fiction.

    I really don't have chubby wrists, I just said that to perpetuate the image of me being obese.

    Jigrah on
  • JigrahJigrah Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Narian wrote: »
    I like how the first thing you did once you were released from jail for fighting while drunk is to go get drunk.

    ITS A DISEASE! And I mean, I work at a bar, what else am I going to do while I wait for my coworkers to get off?

    Jigrah on
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I've never met a detective less scummy and deceitful then the felons they try to arrest

    fuck them

    Fandyien on
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  • FaynorFaynor Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Color me surprised.

    Please.

    Someone color me.

    I'm so pale

    Faynor on
    do you wanna see me eat a hotdog
  • Baroque And RollBaroque And Roll Every spark of friendship and love Will die without a homeRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    It's fucking Grand Prix week. Everything on Chauncey is open until at least 3.

    Edit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purdue_Grand_Prix

    Basically, this entire week is a big fucking party.

    Baroque And Roll on
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    SteamID: Baroque And Roll
  • JigrahJigrah Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Fandyien wrote: »
    I've never met a detective less scummy and deceitful then the felons they try to arrest

    fuck them

    This one guy that was locked up with me was complaining about the arresting officer. It was a traffic stop, and the officer told the driver "Listen, I am looking for pans, if you have less then a pan you don't have anything to worry about"

    I don't know what a pan is but I am assuming it is a form of measure, anyway the guy let the officer search the car, found far less then a pan and then arrested him.

    I don't know how to feel about situations like that, good, bad? Should cops lie like that? I mean, obviously it is effective, but at what cost?

    Jigrah on
  • VisionOfClarityVisionOfClarity Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I'm not positive but I believe in NJ if you were sentenced to more than 365 days you were sent to prison, and if you were sentenced to less you went to jail.

    The jail for some reason was located a couple buildings down from my high school so instead of school shooter drills we had escapee drills.

    VisionOfClarity on
  • MetalbourneMetalbourne Inside a cluster b personalityRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Pony wrote: »
    People seem to get "jail" and "prison" confused.

    Prison is where you don't drop the soap and you have to beat someone up in the first day otherwise you're someone else's bitch.

    Jail is just full of pathetic dudes who got in arguments with thier wives and duis

    yep

    i've never been to prison

    but i've been in jail a few times, it's mostly just boring and stinky and humiliating

    it's not really dangerous or scary

    bad thing was, I got like three quarters of the way through this book before they moved me and for some reason wouldn't let me take that book.

    I think the cops were just all, "hey you know what'd be funny is if we didn't let that guy take his book"

    it was a good book.

    Metalbourne on
  • WimbleWimble Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    was it...the bible

    Wimble on
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  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Fandyien wrote: »
    I've never met a detective less scummy and deceitful then the felons they try to arrest

    fuck them

    How many felons and detectives have you known?

    Butters on
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  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer Scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratch scritch scratchRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I'm not positive but I believe in NJ if you were sentenced to more than 365 days you were sent to prison, and if you were sentenced to less you went to jail.

    The jail for some reason was located a couple buildings down from my high school so instead of school shooter drills we had escapee drills.

    My school was probably the building closest to a maximum security state prison.

    This is an example of poor planning.

    Speed Racer on
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