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Staying alone without lying or hurting feelings.
Spectral Swallow
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So I'm completely happy being alone. As in I have no desire to date or be with anyone at all.
Now so far I've done pretty good at keeping people at a distance, but I recently had to do a presentation for class and seemed to have attracted the attention of a girl (I typically try to make my presentations something special and entertaining).
So she e-mails me pretending to ask about the presentation and after I respond, she asks if I dance. I tell her that I don't (as I already can see where this is going). So she e-mails back and invites me to a local club.
I haven't responded, but I basically want a way to say, "I'm not interested now, nor will I ever be." But less mean.
Also, I have no idea who this girl is, as I don't really pay attention to anyone else in class.
Now so far I've done pretty good at keeping people at a distance, but I recently had to do a presentation for class and seemed to have attracted the attention of a girl (I typically try to make my presentations something special and entertaining).
So she e-mails me pretending to ask about the presentation and after I respond, she asks if I dance. I tell her that I don't (as I already can see where this is going). So she e-mails back and invites me to a local club.
I haven't responded, but I basically want a way to say, "I'm not interested now, nor will I ever be." But less mean.
Also, I have no idea who this girl is, as I don't really pay attention to anyone else in class.
Spectral Swallow on
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But that's not what you asked.
So:
Be honest, don't make up excuses. Lying hurts when the truth is exposed, and it will be eventually. Tell her you're not interested, but thanks anyway then stop responding to e-mails.
You'll hurt her feelings a little bit, but that's a risk people take when they put themselves out there.
Unless she's unbalanced she's not going to start stalking you, she'll get the message.
Seriously, way to over think this.
That is, I am assuming your post means you don't want to be making new friends, either. People will probably always be a little bit hurt that you don't want to be their friend. Without lying I don't think you can completely avoid that social aspect of rejecting people. Because you are rejecting people, after all!
Or you could just blow her off until she gives up.
Everything up to that ridiculously awkward phrase.
And who's to say you can't just be friends? 95% of my friends are female. You can turn it into something else.
Yeah, that phrase was pretty awkward.
As for why I'm asking for advice, my last e-mail was:
Sorry I didn't respond, responsibilities and all that. While I am flattered I'm going to have to decline. Thanks for the invite though.
And she still didn't seem to get the message. So yeah.
Just ignore it then. If she makes small talk in class, make small talk back, but just ignore emails and if she asks you out in person, just tell your class load is really heavy this term and you just don't have a lot of free time.