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[INTERNET DATING] Adventure Time!

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Posts

  • PerpetualPerpetual Registered User
    edited June 2010
    Perpetual wrote: »

    Gender roles. Females are the gatekeepers of sex, therefore men should ask for permission.

    Isn't that what the rabid feminists are always telling us? That a women owns all right to her own body? :lol:

    You took my post out of context, as I figured you would.

    This isn't really about owning the right to your body. No one is saying the guy should forcefully kiss the girl despite the girl's objections.

    Perpetual on
  • RobmanRobman Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    So after the first kiss is when you tell him he needs to ask you if he can kiss you? After how many kisses does he get to stop doing that?

    ...how old are you?

    This is why I have trouble with younger women. Some 21 year old cute little thing who has spent her life buried in books, yeesh. No more pre-meds.

    Robman on
  • PerpetualPerpetual Registered User
    edited June 2010
    Robman wrote: »
    So after the first kiss is when you tell him he needs to ask you if he can kiss you? After how many kisses does he get to stop doing that?

    ...how old are you?

    This is why I have trouble with younger women. Some 21 year old cute little thing who has spent her life buried in books, yeesh. No more pre-meds.

    Seriously.
    I don't understand the rules by which dating works, therefore I think it better to ask about things.

    Yes, you indeed don't. Like I said previously, women often make it quite obvious that they want to be kissed. This is part of verbal or visual cues and body language. Some do it while not aware of it. Others plan it. In either case, if the guy is experienced, then he can pick up on those signs and go in for a kiss.

    It's not rocket science, although from afar it may look that way.

    Perpetual on
  • Mercutio87Mercutio87 Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Would you be offended if he didn't ask?

    's a good question. I think I might be a bit irritated. *shrugs*

    How is a guy supposed to know that ahead of time? Your preference is, in my experience and understanding, not common.

    Umm... I think he's supposed to know by asking. QED :lol:

    Yay! I'm weird!

    Asking if he is supposed to ask if he can kiss you is pure silly. Weird is one thing, this is asinine. You are setting men up for failure if you expect that and then you will be mad at something that is very much not his fault. Why don't you tell men, "hey, ask me before you kiss me"?

    Che... I'm not that unreasonable. And if he kissed me without asking, yeah, I would say exactly that to him.

    Fuuu.... see, I don't understand the rules by which dating works, therefore I think it better to ask about things. I'm not going to assume that he knows how I was raised, and I'm not going to get all pissy at him for not knowing. Blaming men for stuff they can't possibly know is asinine and I don't do that.

    Sheesh.

    Whatever. I'll just sit here and be a statistical outlier.

    In my experience it's uncommon. Kissing just sorta happens if there's a bit of chemistry. If someone declines a peck on the cheek after what I thought was a good first date, or a kiss on the lips on the second, then that's a good sign she's not interested in me. That said, I usually do ask for other stuff.

    "So uh....sex?"
    (amazingly this worked fine)

    Edit: also on the guy who has the STD and helpfully has just now let the person know...that is a complete dick move. Like if I was dating someone who pulled that, that conversation would end with me breaking up with them. Period. Not knowing you have an STD and finding out after the fact? Shitty, but happens. Knowing perfectly well you do and not disclosing that fact before contact? Serious breach of trust. Wow.

    Mercutio87 on
  • FeatherBladeFeatherBlade Registered User
    edited June 2010
    So after the first kiss is when you tell him he needs to ask you if he can kiss you? After how many kisses does he get to stop doing that?

    ...how old are you?

    Probably depends on how offensive I found the first one. I don't remember exactly how it went. If I remember right, asking permission once got him a free pass to kiss whenever.

    I'm 29.

    Spoilered for excessive vitriol.
    You want to know my blood type too? how many people I've kissed? how many I've fucked? home address? SSN?

    Seriously, I know how your next post goes: "You are a repressed virgin STFU and get laid". I can't decide whether "I wish" or "you say that like it's a bad thing" would be a better reply.

    My apologies to the rest of the thread.

    FeatherBlade on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • LaOsLaOs Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    So after the first kiss is when you tell him he needs to ask you if he can kiss you? After how many kisses does he get to stop doing that?

    ...how old are you?

    Normally you're not this much of a jackass, Improv.

    I took her to mean that, if a guy kissed her without asking first, she'd say something like "thanks, but next time you should ask before kissing me" and maybe giggle or turn her head away and be flattered but a bit annoyed.

    It's a bit silly, yeah, that she'd hold something against a guy that he had no way of knowing would be held against him, and I do agree that it is just silly to "have" to ask before kissing (and that you should just kiss and will find out if she wants to be kissed through that), but you're really starting to press the issue a bit too forcefully.

    LaOs on
  • WashWash Sweet Christmas Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I get where FeatherBlade's coming from. I was raised to ask the first time. Would feel uncomfortable not.

    Wash on
    gi5h0gjqwti1.jpg
  • RobmanRobman Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    There's no really correct answer here, but the vast vast vast majority of women will expect you the man to initiate the kiss, and most will be offended if you ask first.

    If you want to play the odds favourably, just go for it.

    Robman on
  • FeatherBladeFeatherBlade Registered User
    edited June 2010
    Perpetual wrote: »
    Perpetual wrote: »

    Gender roles. Females are the gatekeepers of sex, therefore men should ask for permission.

    Isn't that what the rabid feminists are always telling us? That a women owns all right to her own body? :lol:

    You took my post out of context, as I figured you would.

    This isn't really about owning the right to your body. No one is saying the guy should forcefully kiss the girl despite the girl's objections.

    My apologies ^_^; I thought you were making a joke and I attempted to run with it. Fumble, I guess.

    FeatherBlade on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Maybe its one of those nights for me, and no FeatherBlade, that isn't where I was going. I was getting the impression that you were very young based on your responses and writing style.

    For the record, I was really confused about how FeatherBlade would handle the situation, and still kind of am.

    Improvolone on
    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
  • LaOsLaOs Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    So after the first kiss is when you tell him he needs to ask you if he can kiss you? After how many kisses does he get to stop doing that?

    ...how old are you?

    Probably depends on how offensive I found the first one. I don't remember exactly how it went. If I remember right, asking permission once got him a free pass to kiss whenever.

    I'm 29.

    Spoilered for excessive vitriol.
    You want to know my blood type too? how many people I've kissed? how many I've fucked? home address? SSN?

    Seriously, I know how your next post goes: "You are a repressed virgin STFU and get laid". I can't decide whether "I wish" or "you say that like it's a bad thing" would be a better reply.

    My apologies to the rest of the thread.

    He's pressing the line, but you're also overreacting here... everyone involved in this chain of conversation should probably chill a bit and relax.

    But, as some constructive criticism for you (in the wake of my last reply to Improv), if you really don't like being kissed without first being asked to be kissed, you should definitely react that way during the kiss.

    If I start to kiss you, leaning in with my eyes closed or whatnot, you should damned well turn your cheek or back away or cough or something, so I can get the hint. If you could possibly find "the first one" (the first unapproved kiss) offensive, you should do your best to stop it or nip it in the bud.

    It's cool that you have this preference, but it's not cool that you (possibly even while acknowledging that it's out-of-the-norm) expect your men to somehow magically pick up on it and then may (not always will, mind you) judge them for not picking up on it. I think that's the issue most have here--that your experience is an outlier and that you maybe have some unfair expectations based on your uncommon experience/preference.

    LaOs on
  • OnTheLastCastleOnTheLastCastle let's keep it haimish for the peripatetic Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Are we seriously having this argument? Do not ask a girl if you can kiss her at the end of a date. If you think there is mutual attraction, you just do it. If she in any way balks, you thank her for a fun night and leave.

    This is not the hard part, people.

    Alternately, the girl could kiss you. That'd be neat! You could then be the one to balk and they'd have to stammer and walk away! Equality!

    OnTheLastCastle on
    I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty. My profile is well-written and hilarious. My messages are likewise brilliant. And I've been doing this stuff for...four or five years. I know what "works" in terms of good internet dating writing. "Works" in the sense of leading to a "date" with a human female.

    twitch.tv/onthelastcastle
  • RaslinRaslin Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    If a girl got upset with me for going in for a kiss without asking, that'd probably be the end of anything between us.

    I mean, I am asking. I'm not throwing my face at yours like a squirrel jumping on acorn, you have plenty of time to turn your head, which is the universal signal for "No kiss, thanks".

    My main problem can be waiting too long, or going way too soon. I pick up on signals strangely.

    Raslin on
    I cant url good so add me on steam anyways steamcommunity.com/id/Raslin

    3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
  • PerpetualPerpetual Registered User
    edited June 2010
    I get where FeatherBlade's coming from. I was raised to ask the first time. Would feel uncomfortable not.

    Yeah, my mother also taught me to open doors for girls and pay for dinners and gifts. Do I do those things? No.

    Just because you were taught something when growing up doesn't justify it in any shape or form. Like I said, for most people it just kinda happens without any verbal pre-negotiation.

    Perpetual on
  • LaOsLaOs Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Perpetual wrote: »
    I get where FeatherBlade's coming from. I was raised to ask the first time. Would feel uncomfortable not.

    Yeah, my mother also taught me to open doors for girls and pay for dinners and gifts. Do I do those things? No.

    Just because you were taught something when growing up doesn't justify it in any shape or form. Like I said, for most people it just kinda happens without any verbal pre-negotiation.

    You're also, by many standards within this thread, a bit of a jackass. See highlight.

    This is mainly just an off-the-cuff joke remark, and that I don't think there's anything lost by opening a door for a girl, but I don't buy in to you have to pay for everything and basically support (what I think is) your central message. I'm basically just fucking with you, Perpetual.

    LaOs on
  • JokermanJokerman Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    "A kiss is not a contract, but it's very nice. Oh yes it's very nice!"

    and Re: The herpes thing. I got chewed out in [chat] by Feral and some people for saying i wouldn't have sex with a girl I knew had the herp.

    Jokerman on
  • PerpetualPerpetual Registered User
    edited June 2010
    Alternately, the girl could kiss you. That'd be neat! You could then be the one to balk and they'd have to stammer and walk away! Equality!

    Ha, I've definitely pushed away girls who were too eager before, but that was mostly stuff like them coming up to me at a night club and saying "hey, you're cute" and then going in for a kiss. What the hell? I don't know you, or what diseases you carry, so please get away from me. Sort of thing.

    On a date I'm usually more cocky/playful. If a girl mentions kissing or sex in any way I respond with "who said I want to kiss you/have sex with you" and then smile/wink. It really turns on the heat. :)

    Perpetual on
  • LaOsLaOs Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Jokerman wrote: »
    "A kiss is not a contract, but it's very nice. Oh yes it's very nice!"

    and Re: The herpes thing. I got chewed out in [chat] by Feral and some people for saying i wouldn't have sex with a girl I knew had the herp.

    Eh, I don't think you have to sleep with everyone you come accross who has the Hep, but I damned well think you should tell everone you come accross that you may sleep with that you have the Hep.

    LaOs on
  • ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Perpetual wrote: »
    I get where FeatherBlade's coming from. I was raised to ask the first time. Would feel uncomfortable not.

    Yeah, my mother also taught me to open doors for girls and pay for dinners and gifts. Do I do those things? No.

    Just because you were taught something when growing up doesn't justify it in any shape or form. Like I said, for most people it just kinda happens without any verbal pre-negotiation.

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Improvolone on
    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
  • RobmanRobman Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Oral herpes is actually fucking hard to get, don't fuss over it, you probably already have it

    Robman on
  • JoolanderJoolander Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    whats wrong with holding doors open for people?

    i mean, besides A/C costs, its common courtesy i thought

    Joolander on
  • LaOsLaOs Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Perpetual wrote: »
    I get where FeatherBlade's coming from. I was raised to ask the first time. Would feel uncomfortable not.

    Yeah, my mother also taught me to open doors for girls and pay for dinners and gifts. Do I do those things? No.

    Just because you were taught something when growing up doesn't justify it in any shape or form. Like I said, for most people it just kinda happens without any verbal pre-negotiation.

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Man, we just went over that conversation and I'm sure Perpetual was here... you don't have to freak out any time it could come up, especially with someone who, I think, was involved with the last iteration.


    On the other hand, I do get quite a kick out of your "NOOOOOOoooooooo"'s. :P

    LaOs on
  • PerpetualPerpetual Registered User
    edited June 2010
    Jokerman wrote: »
    and Re: The herpes thing. I got chewed out in [chat] by Feral and some people for saying i wouldn't have sex with a girl I knew had the herp.

    They chewed you out because you wouldn't have sex with someone who has an STD?

    What the crap?

    Perpetual on
  • ImprovoloneImprovolone Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    LaOs wrote: »
    Jokerman wrote: »
    "A kiss is not a contract, but it's very nice. Oh yes it's very nice!"

    and Re: The herpes thing. I got chewed out in [chat] by Feral and some people for saying i wouldn't have sex with a girl I knew had the herp.

    Eh, I don't think you have to sleep with everyone you come accross who has the Hep, but I damned well think you should tell everone you come accross that you may sleep with that you have the Hep.

    I don't think anyone could possibly argue that the person shouldn't be made aware and allowed to choose on their own. You don't get to make choices for people.

    Improvolone on
    Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
  • WashWash Sweet Christmas Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Perpetual wrote: »
    I get where FeatherBlade's coming from. I was raised to ask the first time. Would feel uncomfortable not.

    Yeah, my mother also taught me to open doors for girls and pay for dinners and gifts. Do I do those things? No.

    Just because you were taught something when growing up doesn't justify it in any shape or form. Like I said, for most people it just kinda happens without any verbal pre-negotiation.

    It's been ingrained in me to make sure the girl's on the same page as I am. Going in for the kiss without confirmation feels akin to making an advance without consent. This isn't always the case, like when very clear signals have been exchanged -- non verbal confirmation.

    But if there's even a little doubt about whether my advance is wanted or not, I'm going to ask. As I'm awful at reading signals, I'm sure you can figure out what I'm prone to do. This has bit me in the ass before, re: not 'just going for it' or 'taking the initiative'.

    Wash on
    gi5h0gjqwti1.jpg
  • FeatherBladeFeatherBlade Registered User
    edited June 2010
    Maybe its one of those nights for me, and no FeatherBlade, that isn't where I was going. I was getting the impression that you were very young based on your responses and writing style.

    For the record, I was really confused about how FeatherBlade would handle the situation, and still kind of am.

    Alright. I'm sorry for making assumptions.

    I ... tend to sound younger that I am when I'm excited about something, or am happy, or am tired. I think I'm tired.

    To be honest, I don't know how I would handle the situation. It's been different every relationship, and the only thing I've figured out is that I prefer when guys ask before committing major invasion of my personal space. Sorry if that doesn't explain anything...

    FeatherBlade on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • LaOsLaOs Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Joolander wrote: »
    whats wrong with holding doors open for people?

    i mean, besides A/C costs, its common courtesy i thought

    Perpetual has a more of a cocky/ass slant to his dating style and habits for talking about dating, plus his whole point was that regardless of what you've been taught, the "good" or "proper" or "best" way of going about things may be quite different.

    Really, so what if he doesn't hold doors open for his dates (and feels good about it)? You may just look better because of it. (Or not.)

    LaOs on
  • LaOsLaOs Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    LaOs wrote: »
    Jokerman wrote: »
    "A kiss is not a contract, but it's very nice. Oh yes it's very nice!"

    and Re: The herpes thing. I got chewed out in [chat] by Feral and some people for saying i wouldn't have sex with a girl I knew had the herp.

    Eh, I don't think you have to sleep with everyone you come accross who has the Hep, but I damned well think you should tell everone you come accross that you may sleep with that you have the Hep.

    I don't think anyone could possibly argue that the person shouldn't be made aware and allowed to choose on their own. You don't get to make choices for people.

    So you're agreeing? :P

    Yeah, I wasn't involved in that conversation. It could have been rooted in biased decision making and prejudice, but really, I would back anyone arguing that anyone can choose to sleep with any person based on any criteria they choose, including lack of STDs.

    LaOs on
  • SkyCaptainSkyCaptain Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Probably depends on how offensive I found the first one. I don't remember exactly how it went. If I remember right, asking permission once got him a free pass to kiss whenever.

    I asked my current girlfriend if I could kiss her on our first date. It's probably not that common, but it's not rare.

    SkyCaptain on
    The RPG Bestiary - Dangerous foes and legendary monsters for D&D 4th Edition
  • SmokeStacksSmokeStacks The Myth, the Legend, the Bowman, the Shambler FuckerRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Got a date with a classy lady from OKC for friday morning. She suggested we tour an old prison that is supposedly haunted, but I told her it would be cool because I am actually a Ghostbuster.

    My last relationship ended with a complete disaster, and although I've had some physical escapades between then and now this is the first actual "get to know someone" excursion (I hesitate to call it a date due to the fact that it's happening in the daytime, and she said in her profile that she is looking for a friends first situation), so I hope it goes well.

    SmokeStacks on
    73CQcJZ.png
  • LaOsLaOs Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Perpetual wrote: »
    I get where FeatherBlade's coming from. I was raised to ask the first time. Would feel uncomfortable not.

    Yeah, my mother also taught me to open doors for girls and pay for dinners and gifts. Do I do those things? No.

    Just because you were taught something when growing up doesn't justify it in any shape or form. Like I said, for most people it just kinda happens without any verbal pre-negotiation.

    It's been ingrained in me to make sure the girl's on the same page as I am. Going in for the kiss without confirmation feels akin to making an advance without consent. This isn't always the case, like when very clear signals have been exchanged -- non verbal confirmation.

    But if there's even a little doubt about whether my advance is wanted or not, I'm going to ask. As I'm awful at reading signals, I'm sure you can figure out what I'm prone to do. This has bit me in the ass before, re: not 'just going for it' or 'taking the initiative'.

    The kiss me/don't kiss me signal, when you're going in for the kiss is damned unmistakable. And, that's basically what going in for a kiss is--it's asking, 'do you consent to this kiss?' and if she turns away or backs off or coughs awkwardly and frowns or whatever, you've got your answer... and you haven't besmirched her good name, implied anything untoward about her, or made and ass of yourself. You don't have to verbally ask to "ask" about kissing... attempting a kiss does it all.

    LaOs on
  • RobmanRobman Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Maybe its one of those nights for me, and no FeatherBlade, that isn't where I was going. I was getting the impression that you were very young based on your responses and writing style.

    For the record, I was really confused about how FeatherBlade would handle the situation, and still kind of am.

    Alright. I'm sorry for making assumptions.

    I ... tend to sound younger that I am when I'm excited about something, or am happy, or am tired. I think I'm tired.

    To be honest, I don't know how I would handle the situation. It's been different every relationship, and the only thing I've figured out is that I prefer when guys ask before committing major invasion of my personal space. Sorry if that doesn't explain anything...

    If you view it as an "invasion" of your personal space, you should definitely be up front ASAP about that shit with duders who you've agreed to go out with. Waiting until the end of the first date is kind of irresponsible and unfair to your suitors, that's something they should be told ahead of time.

    EDIT anyways I am now passing the fucka outa so someone whip up some half-assed clone of the OP before the lock goes on this thread
    Seriously fuck you in the fucking asshole Alcohol reaction pathways goddamn fucking organic chemistry why are you on the MCATs

    EDIT2 I should start logging my posts and discussions with friends, I assure everyone that by Sept 1 my regularly off the wall posts will be fucking spellbinding

    Robman on
  • Mercutio87Mercutio87 Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    LaOs wrote: »
    Jokerman wrote: »
    "A kiss is not a contract, but it's very nice. Oh yes it's very nice!"

    and Re: The herpes thing. I got chewed out in [chat] by Feral and some people for saying i wouldn't have sex with a girl I knew had the herp.

    Eh, I don't think you have to sleep with everyone you come accross who has the Hep, but I damned well think you should tell everone you come accross that you may sleep with that you have the Hep.

    Seriously. There's a huge difference between being aware and educated of the risks and deciding if both of you are ok with them, and one partner being aware and withholding what he knows until after the fact. Can't lime how much of a dick move that is enough.

    Mercutio87 on
  • PerpetualPerpetual Registered User
    edited June 2010
    LaOs wrote: »
    Joolander wrote: »
    whats wrong with holding doors open for people?

    i mean, besides A/C costs, its common courtesy i thought

    Perpetual has a more of a cocky/ass slant to his dating style and habits for talking about dating, plus his whole point was that regardless of what you've been taught, the "good" or "proper" or "best" way of going about things may be quite different.

    Really, so what if he doesn't hold doors open for his dates (and feels good about it)? You may just look better because of it. (Or not.)

    Cocky, sure, but not ass. I would describe my dating style as cocky/playful. I don't hold doors open for girls. There have been times when I and my date approached a door and then stood there staring at each other, and I went "what, aren't you going to hold the door open for me?" and then acted genuinely shocked. It usually gets a good laugh, if done right.

    But I don't go out of my way to hold doors open for girls. It's not really a "feeling good about it" sort of thing. I just don't have that urge. If I reach the door first, I'll open it and walk in. If they reach it first, then I may reach out from behind them and help them pull it open.

    Perpetual on
  • LaOsLaOs Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Maybe its one of those nights for me, and no FeatherBlade, that isn't where I was going. I was getting the impression that you were very young based on your responses and writing style.

    For the record, I was really confused about how FeatherBlade would handle the situation, and still kind of am.

    Alright. I'm sorry for making assumptions.

    I ... tend to sound younger that I am when I'm excited about something, or am happy, or am tired. I think I'm tired.

    To be honest, I don't know how I would handle the situation. It's been different every relationship, and the only thing I've figured out is that I prefer when guys ask before committing major invasion of my personal space. Sorry if that doesn't explain anything...

    Like I said earlier, if you think going for a kiss without asking you verbally first is a "major invasion of [your] personal space", you should do your best to advise any of your dates of this early, and beforehand and, if you haven't advised them of it, try your best to not judge them based on your wholly uncommon and atypical (although perfectly acceptable) feeling. You're allowed to feel how you want, but I (and I think many here) take issue with being judged by arbitrary and contrary metrics without first being warned of them.

    LaOs on
  • OnTheLastCastleOnTheLastCastle let's keep it haimish for the peripatetic Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Maybe its one of those nights for me, and no FeatherBlade, that isn't where I was going. I was getting the impression that you were very young based on your responses and writing style.

    For the record, I was really confused about how FeatherBlade would handle the situation, and still kind of am.

    Alright. I'm sorry for making assumptions.

    I ... tend to sound younger that I am when I'm excited about something, or am happy, or am tired. I think I'm tired.

    To be honest, I don't know how I would handle the situation. It's been different every relationship, and the only thing I've figured out is that I prefer when guys ask before committing major invasion of my personal space. Sorry if that doesn't explain anything...

    This sounds like you're not on formal dates when this happens. I mean, don't you expect at the end of a date that a guy may try to kiss you when you are standing close together and he is looking at you? The situation we outlined wasn't just approaching someone randomly or lipsmacking them mid convo.

    To reiterate so Forar can giggle, I have been bitten midsentence before. I wish she'd asked my feelings first.

    Anyway, we're not all harping on you like we did to Justin. That was a whole different bag.

    edit to agree with Laos: You are totally allowed to feel how you want. I'd recommend not looking askance as a guy for thinking a kiss was appropriate in certain situations though. Communicate if that's how you're comfortable. But you'll probably have to initiate that conversation.

    OnTheLastCastle on
    I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty. My profile is well-written and hilarious. My messages are likewise brilliant. And I've been doing this stuff for...four or five years. I know what "works" in terms of good internet dating writing. "Works" in the sense of leading to a "date" with a human female.

    twitch.tv/onthelastcastle
  • LaOsLaOs Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Perpetual wrote: »
    LaOs wrote: »
    Joolander wrote: »
    whats wrong with holding doors open for people?

    i mean, besides A/C costs, its common courtesy i thought

    Perpetual has a more of a cocky/ass slant to his dating style and habits for talking about dating, plus his whole point was that regardless of what you've been taught, the "good" or "proper" or "best" way of going about things may be quite different.

    Really, so what if he doesn't hold doors open for his dates (and feels good about it)? You may just look better because of it. (Or not.)

    Cocky, sure, but not ass. I would describe my dating style as cocky/playful. I don't hold doors open for girls. There have been times when I and my date approached a door and then stood there staring at each other, and I went "what, aren't you going to hold the door open for me?" and then acted genuinely shocked. It usually gets a good laugh, if done right.

    But I don't go out of my way to hold doors open for girls. It's not really a "feeling good about it" sort of thing. I just don't have that urge. If I reach the door first, I'll open it and walk in. If they reach it first, then I may reach out from behind them and help them pull it open.

    I was just commenting on what I perceived as a general feeling about you and your style of dating/commenting on dating (or profiles, etc), not saying you're an actual ass.

    LaOs on
  • BobbleBobble Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Mercutio87 wrote: »
    LaOs wrote: »
    Jokerman wrote: »
    "A kiss is not a contract, but it's very nice. Oh yes it's very nice!"

    and Re: The herpes thing. I got chewed out in [chat] by Feral and some people for saying i wouldn't have sex with a girl I knew had the herp.

    Eh, I don't think you have to sleep with everyone you come accross who has the Hep, but I damned well think you should tell everone you come accross that you may sleep with that you have the Hep.

    Seriously. There's a huge difference between being aware and educated of the risks and deciding if both of you are ok with them, and one partner being aware and withholding what he knows until after the fact. Can't lime how much of a dick move that is enough.

    Yeah, whoever said earlier that this should be grounds for some kind of legal action? I second that notion. In fact, it looks like it's been done with a guy who had AIDS, though I think he may have been doing it intentionally (no condom). Link.

    Still, I think this would be negligence and/or reckless behavior and there's gotta be some grounds here. I don't think that we, as a society, are OK with that kind of thing.

    Bobble on
  • FeatherBladeFeatherBlade Registered User
    edited June 2010

    To be honest, I don't know how I would handle the situation. It's been different every relationship, and the only thing I've figured out is that I prefer when guys ask before committing major invasion of my personal space. Sorry if that doesn't explain anything...

    This sounds like you're not on formal dates when this happens. I mean, don't you expect at the end of a date that a guy may try to kiss you when you are standing close together and he is looking at you? The situation we outlined wasn't just approaching someone randomly or lipsmacking them mid convo.
    .

    edit to agree with Laos: You are totally allowed to feel how you want. I'd recommend not looking askance as a guy for thinking a kiss was appropriate in certain situations though. Communicate if that's how you're comfortable. But you'll probably have to initiate that conversation.

    Mm. I've had this done to me before. Seriously pisses me off.

    But yes, I understand better where you guys are coming from, it makes sense, and I appreciate your advice, and will happily implement it, should the situation arise.

    Good night all.

    FeatherBlade on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • LaOsLaOs Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Bobble wrote: »
    Mercutio87 wrote: »
    LaOs wrote: »
    Jokerman wrote: »
    "A kiss is not a contract, but it's very nice. Oh yes it's very nice!"

    and Re: The herpes thing. I got chewed out in [chat] by Feral and some people for saying i wouldn't have sex with a girl I knew had the herp.

    Eh, I don't think you have to sleep with everyone you come accross who has the Hep, but I damned well think you should tell everone you come accross that you may sleep with that you have the Hep.

    Seriously. There's a huge difference between being aware and educated of the risks and deciding if both of you are ok with them, and one partner being aware and withholding what he knows until after the fact. Can't lime how much of a dick move that is enough.

    Yeah, whoever said earlier that this should be grounds for some kind of legal action? I second that notion. In fact, it looks like it's been done with a guy who had AIDS, though I think he may have been doing it intentionally (no condom). Link.

    Still, I think this would be negligence and/or reckless behavior and there's gotta be some grounds here. I don't think that we, as a society, are OK with that kind of thing.

    It actually happens with people who have aids and intentionally don't tell their partner(s) about it. It's aggravated sexual assault, if I recall (in Saskatchewan, Canada, anyway). It does happen often.

    LaOs on
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