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How to fire a customer? (solved)

Funguy McAidsFunguy McAids Registered User
edited May 2010 in Help / Advice Forum
So I run a daycare/kindergarten/training place-thing and one of the kids is extremely naughty, has zero discipline and a difficult mother. I've worked with her to try and give her ideas on how to discipline her child but she isn't doing a good job and the amount of stress he puts on the employees is more than all the other children combined.

We want this kid to go and don't want to deal with the mom anymore. What is a nice, tactful way of going about this problem? I don't want to piss her off as she could likely cause all sorts of trouble. She's already said some bad things about us, making another customer not want to join in our services, so we can't trust her to go away peacefully.

Our business is full and we have other people that want in that we know have great, well behaved, and intelligent children that will have no problem fitting in and learning well.

We like the kid, he's smart, often funny, and very cute. But we just don't think its near worth the effort to handle him. He puts an insane amount of stress on the teachers and promoted poor behavior in other new students.

TL;DR how do i get rid of a kid in a nice way?

Funguy McAids on

Posts

  • Kayne Red RobeKayne Red Robe Master of Magic ArcanusRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    You are, alas, just going to have to man, or woman, up and tell the mother more or less exactly what you've posted here as politely as you can manage. You reserve to right to refuse service to anyone and you are exercising that right here.

    Unfortunately, given the character of the lady in question, at least from what it sounds like, it's probably not going to go well, or smoothly, and you are likely to get some bad word of mouth from her. But apparently you are getting that anyway, and if the lady is driving away customers while using your services, it's not like it'll get any worse. In the long wrong it will actually probably be better for you, since she'll move on to other things to bitch about when she forgets about you guys as she won't be having constant contact to remind her of you anymore.

    Kayne Red Robe on
  • Seattle ThreadSeattle Thread Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    "We can no longer accept your business. We'd be happy to refer you to one of our competitors."

    If she causes a scene, tell her to calm down or you will call the police. It'll be ugly no matter what, but stick to your guns.

    Seattle Thread on
  • Kayne Red RobeKayne Red Robe Master of Magic ArcanusRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Hrm. Threatening unnecessary police action is probably not the best idea. Unless she's doing something really ridiculous, just let her yell/scream herself out if it comes to that. Stay polite, but firm the whole time.

    If you think she's going to cause a scene like that though, break her the news somewhere reasonably out of sight/hearing range of the kids.

    Kayne Red Robe on
  • KyouguKyougu Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Yeah, there's not going to be an easy way to do this. Pretty much tell her what you wrote.

    Kyougu on
  • SniperGuySniperGuy Also known as Dohaeris Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2010
    "Due to the nature of your child's behavior, we are unable to provide the services he needs."

    My parents own a daycare center, do that all the time. People are CRAZY at those things.

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  • GothicLargoGothicLargo Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Kyougu wrote: »
    Yeah, there's not going to be an easy way to do this. Pretty much tell her what you wrote.

    Exactly.

    OP: If you're worried about her making a scene, don't. If she does you call the police and it's done with. If you're concerned about her dragging it to court, don't. Businesses have a right to turn away customers; they just can't discriminate or steal. Reimburse her for the month so there is absolutely no doubt that you owe her nothing, and turn her away.

    If she tries to sue for defamation or some other ****, the law is on your side if you're square money wise. A child service provider can turn away children who are unmanageable; you aren't a public school, you aren't obligated to do anything other then what you have been paid to do and if you reject and refund payment, that's it.

    GothicLargo on
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  • FyreWulffFyreWulff Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2010
    Hrm. Threatening unnecessary police action is probably not the best idea. Unless she's doing something really ridiculous, just let her yell/scream herself out if it comes to that. Stay polite, but firm the whole time.

    If you think she's going to cause a scene like that though, break her the news somewhere reasonably out of sight/hearing range of the kids.

    It's not unnecessary.. when I worked at the library, we probably banned and barred someone every other day, and the police were always called to escort them out if they got aggressive/loud.

    That's what you pay the police for. Use them!

    FyreWulff on
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Pretty much what has been said; just have to do it.

    What sort of documents do the parents have to sign to "join" the daycare? I assume some basic injury waivers? Maybe add something about maintaining minimum behavior standards, so if there's any future problems, you'll be in an even stronger position.

    Just an idea, I don't know how that'd go over in that situation.

    MichaelLC on
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  • adytumadytum Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I'm pretty sure he's in China, he posted another H/A thread about bypassing the great firewall the other day.

    So police protection? Maybe not so much, depending..

    adytum on
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  • EggyToastEggyToast Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Do some research into what other programs she could take her kid to, then pull her aside and say "You know, I think your kid could really benefit from this other program. I normally don't tell parents about our competitors, for obvious reasons, but we're so busy here that I don't think we can give Junior the attention he deserves."

    EggyToast on
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  • KendeathwalkerKendeathwalker Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    EggyToast wrote: »
    Do some research into what other programs she could take her kid to, then pull her aside and say "You know, I think your kid could really benefit from this other program. I normally don't tell parents about our competitors, for obvious reasons, but we're so busy here that I don't think we can give Junior the attention he deserves."

    no.. do not do her work for her. Thats part of the punishment for failing as a parent/disciplinarian for her rowdy kid. It might make her crack down on him.

    Kendeathwalker on
  • RynaRyna Registered User
    edited April 2010
    I've had to 'move' some custometrs along in my position, and have also been threatened because of it. From then on I made sure I recorded the end conversations via a hidden recorder.

    Ryna on
  • Steve BennettSteve Bennett Registered User
    edited April 2010
    Pose this from a "best for your child" position. Say that your business cannot adequately meet the needs of her child, and you therefore - believing her child would benefit elsewhere - have decided you can no longer accept them as customers. Perhaps you can come up with more professional, less emotional language to pad it.. but I think you follow what I'm saying.

    Steve Bennett on
  • EggyToastEggyToast Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    EggyToast wrote: »
    Do some research into what other programs she could take her kid to, then pull her aside and say "You know, I think your kid could really benefit from this other program. I normally don't tell parents about our competitors, for obvious reasons, but we're so busy here that I don't think we can give Junior the attention he deserves."

    no.. do not do her work for her. Thats part of the punishment for failing as a parent/disciplinarian for her rowdy kid. It might make her crack down on him.

    he's already doing his work for her by posting here asking for a solution. He's also already doing her work for her by tolerating the kid up to this point. If it takes a little more work to get her to successfully leave with minimal trouble, I don't see how that's a problem.

    But yes, the alternative is to simply say "sorry, you're not welcome here" and kick her out, with no chance for rebuttal. Depends on how he feels like going about it.

    EggyToast on
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  • iamthepiemaniamthepieman Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Make sure you tell her away from the kids and before or after her child is already out of your care, like in her car or something. The last thing you want is 30 little kids telling thirty different stories about how the scene went down to their parents. At the least you'll be having to tell the story to all the interested/concerned parents or the one's who's children had made friends with the problem child.

    iamthepieman on
  • Werewolf GamerWerewolf Gamer Registered User
    edited April 2010
    Perhaps I can help from the other side. My children both attend daycare. My girls are great and well mannered good girls. My oldest is 5 years old and has been there since she was 7 weeks old. My youngest is 18 months and same thing, she started at 6 weeks old.
    In my oldest daughters class in Jr Pre-k room was a little boy who was horrible. He would hit, push, yank hair, never listened. It got so bad that my daughter started telling us she didn't want to go anymore (and she loves going) and was afraid of this boy. I complained a few times and they were trying to work with the parents but seeing the interaction of the boy and his mom at drop off and pick up times, they let this kid walk all over them. One day i picked up my daughter and she was walking towards me when this same kid ran at her and shoved her hard. She literally hit the floor and slid. I yelled at the kid out of mommy instinct. I apologized to the teacher (it was only him and my daughter left) and she said don't worry about it. We have tried everything and nothing gets through to this child.
    It got to the point i told the school I didn't want my daughter in the same class at this boy. It's gone on long enough, nothing is working they have tried. If they can't keep him away from my daughter i would pull my children and g to another school. They moved my daughter up to the next class a little early but she's smart and did fine. Eventually the bad kid left the school.

    So just keep that in mind with your business. This child that is a problem can make you lose several of your other students and the parents. It's not your job to make sure this child reforms. Sounds like the parents aren't willing to do what they need too. Sometimes it's easier to just rip off the band-aid. You need to protect the other kids and the customers who can follow the rules. No one likes to hear they have a bad kid but sounds like he needs some special classes with teachers used to handle kids with behavior issues.

    Werewolf Gamer on
  • meekermeeker Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I am sure you have experienced this, but document everything before you say anything to her. I have heard stories from a friend's mother about a mother who lied about abuse to be vindictive and she lost her license for 9 months while the state investigated it.

    Make sure you have everything documented and if you have a lawyer, let them know what is up as well. There may be some state service you can call to get advice on this as well.

    meeker on
  • SipexSipex Registered User
    edited April 2010
    Get her out but do so tactfully.

    My aunt used to run a day care and went out of business because a woman very much like yours spread rumours about the daycare giving headlice to her kids.

    Sipex on
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  • Susan DelgadoSusan Delgado Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Just wondering, do you have anything that the parents sign before enrolling about conduct/behavior? What is considered acceptable and/or unacceptable and what you expect from the parents to help make sure that you are able to provide a healthy safe environment for ALL the children enrolled in your program? If you have a set of rules laid out and the parent/child are continuously breaking them, that right there is grounds for you asking them to leave the program.

    Otherwise, I would say to sit down with the parent, as stated before, away from the other children and calmly explain that their child needs more personal attention than your facility can provide. Explain that you are willing to refund the months dues (if you are) and that you're sorry you're not the best fit for this child's particular needs.

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  • GungHoGungHo Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Is there a contract involved? If yes, you're gonna have to look for something in the contract that will allow you to terminate. Otherwise, just tell her you're no longer accepting her patronage and leave it at that. Prorate any money she's paid and give it back (assuming this is a pre-paid service).

    GungHo on
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  • PheezerPheezer Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2010
    Ryna wrote: »
    I've had to 'move' some custometrs along in my position, and have also been threatened because of it. From then on I made sure I recorded the end conversations via a hidden recorder.

    This is terrible advice in most places what with it being of extremely questionable legality.

    Pheezer on
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    CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
  • SheepSheep Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    edited April 2010
    I wouldn't worry about word of mouth so much. If you have a waiting list for your services, seems like you have a good reputation already.

    Sheep on
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  • RynaRyna Registered User
    edited April 2010
    Pheezer wrote: »
    Ryna wrote: »
    I've had to 'move' some custometrs along in my position, and have also been threatened because of it. From then on I made sure I recorded the end conversations via a hidden recorder.

    This is terrible advice in most places what with it being of extremely questionable legality.

    Wasn't so terrible after I was threatened with physical harm, and it was enough for upper management to provide me with increased security measures. But, yeah there are some legal issues...

    Ryna on
  • MindLibMindLib Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I'd be interested to know how this pans out.

    I imagine you living in a posh zone of LA where sunglasses donned, iced coffee holdin', orange tinted, sun-dress wearin', rude snob talkin', "26" *wink wink* year old, uber brat raising gold-mining cougars are your patronage.

    You have an essential un-mined reality show! You could make millions.

    MindLib on
  • PheezerPheezer Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2010
    Ryna wrote: »
    Pheezer wrote: »
    Ryna wrote: »
    I've had to 'move' some custometrs along in my position, and have also been threatened because of it. From then on I made sure I recorded the end conversations via a hidden recorder.

    This is terrible advice in most places what with it being of extremely questionable legality.

    Wasn't so terrible after I was threatened with physical harm, and it was enough for upper management to provide me with increased security measures. But, yeah there are some legal issues...

    Stop arguing this. It doesn't matter if it worked for you that one time, you're not the OP and you can't say with any certainty that the OP won't get fired or worse for setting up his own personal surveillance system at work.

    Pheezer on
    IT'S GOT ME REACHING IN MY POCKET IT'S GOT ME FORKING OVER CASH
    CUZ THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE MIDDLE AND IT'S GIVING ME A RASH
  • Funguy McAidsFunguy McAids Registered User
    edited May 2010
    Pheezer wrote: »
    Ryna wrote: »
    Pheezer wrote: »
    Ryna wrote: »
    I've had to 'move' some custometrs along in my position, and have also been threatened because of it. From then on I made sure I recorded the end conversations via a hidden recorder.

    This is terrible advice in most places what with it being of extremely questionable legality.

    Wasn't so terrible after I was threatened with physical harm, and it was enough for upper management to provide me with increased security measures. But, yeah there are some legal issues...

    Stop arguing this. It doesn't matter if it worked for you that one time, you're not the OP and you can't say with any certainty that the OP won't get fired or worse for setting up his own personal surveillance system at work.

    Well its my business so I'm not likely to get fired. But I'm against the idea of secret surveillance.

    What annoys the fuck out of me is how parents are usually not taught a single thing about what to do with their children. I've seen so many spoiled kids or bad families resulting in terrible behavior that is all so easily preventable.

    I'm going to try calling her tomorrow and see how it goes. We have some other great kids to take his spot that won't spread bad behavior like a plague.

    Though I think having her come in for a meeting would be better. My "office" gives me a position of authority.

    However, the contract she signed says she should give us a month's notice if she wants to quit, but we don't want her kid there for another month. We can get another one in right away and not give the teachers all that stress.

    Funguy McAids on
  • Kayne Red RobeKayne Red Robe Master of Magic ArcanusRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Unless the contract also states you need to give one month notice as well, you're well and clear.

    Kayne Red Robe on
  • Funguy McAidsFunguy McAids Registered User
    edited May 2010
    So the lady decided on her own that her kid doesn't fit the environment well, thanked me a lot for all the hard work we did trying to help the kid, admitted she couldn't manage to discipline him well enough, and removed him from my school to enroll him in another one.

    Perfect solution and I didn't have to do anything!

    Plus the kid will still come to a once a week training class, so I still get to see and teach him. I do love this kid even though he's a brat.

    /Thread

    Funguy McAids on
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