Disk Envy

Thomas514

Hey guys. New here so I thought I'd post a comic as a sample of my work. This comic was inspired by the news that the 3.5" disk will soon be extinct. Hope you like it

Mustang

The art is good, the text is a little cluttered (or small) and if you could cut this to three panels it'd be a whole lot better. You could definately cut the third or second panel easily, make the whole thing bigger and you would avoid the text issue.

That being said, if I hadn't read what your comic was inspired by I wouldn't have had a clue what it was about. The idea is okay, but the execution could use some work.

First Panel
Red: Welcome to the game floor, as a program you have been a assigned an information disk.

Second Panel
Red: Take great care, your digital being is contained on that disk.
Blue: But it's a 3.5" floppy? (quizical look)
Red: We ran out of DVD's

Third Panel:
Blue: Being a program sucks.


Or something like that.

Lexxy

While I agree it could be condensed, I don't think having the punchline in the second panel is of much benefit in this scenario. The "Aww, MAN!" + floppy at the end totally makes it, imo.

Grenn

He's HOLDING the Disk in his HAND! And he's been TOLD ABOUT STAIRS!!!!11 :!::shock::?::D:rotate:

harryk

I looked at the comic before I read anything else and I had no idea what the joke was supposed to be. It's just not very weird that he would be holding a floppy disk in a setting from an 80's movie. It might make more sense if there was some frame of reference, like if in the last panel, after having accepted the disk, he sees someone holding an EVEN BIGGER floppy disk, say 5 or 6 inches.

Or something like that.

NibCrom

harryk is right.

Thomas514

Thanks guys for the positive comments. As for the length of the joke, I agree that I kinda pushed a bit to get it to the punchline. Also, I knew that some people may not get the joke unless they were very familiar with the original movie. It was a reference to a specific scene of the movie where a nameless program was being told about why he was there and what he was about to have to do, I just thought with all the emphasis the movie put on those cool looking frisbee disks that they used, having him holding a floppy disk instead (which, imo, is a visual representation of what kind of data storage device he would have probably had in reality back then) would just be funny.

Again, thanks for the comments and thanks for the kind welcome on the boards

Moorkus

I'd be pretty disappointed if my entire being could be squeezed into a floppy too xD

I thought it was funny and I'd like to see some more comics. I only vaguely remember Tron though I thought the joke was pretty clear, though like others have said, the first 3 panels could probably be condensed a bit and it's pretty noticeable that the art is identical in all panels with some minor changes in the last one, it's the first thing I noticed when looking at it, before I even started reading the dialogue.
Even just changing the users/programs expression in panel 2 or something would break it up a bit and make the art (which is nice) a bit more interesting, though I don't really know anything about making webcomics so take that for what it's worth.

Nappuccino

My main issue with the comic is that the first 3 panels are copies of each other- there is no movement, no reactions nothing to keep you interested in the artwork (and comics are about the artwork just as much as the writing- being a visual medium and all.)

edit: Ha, exactly what Moorkus said.

Belruel

Yeah I have to agree with mookus and nappuccino, the copy+paste panel after panel really makes me think 'ugh'.

earthwormadam

Yup, even though it has panels and dialog, I technically only consider a comic a comic if it contains something that happens.

No matter how well written or well drawn it is, 4 identical panels with one arm/face change is just not good. I do like the art though, but not redrawing anything kinda destroys that merit.

erisian pope

Earthwormadam, your avatar is terrifying.

Paradise

erisian pope wrote: »

Earthwormadam, your avatar is terrifying.

Yeah, that's my fault. I kind of like it though. It looks like some kind of monster.

earthwormadam

erisian pope wrote: »

Earthwormadam, your avatar is terrifying.

So therefor, I am also terrifying.

thanks paradise!

caseypjones

Nappuccino wrote: »

My main issue with the comic is that the first 3 panels are copies of each other- there is no movement, no reactions nothing to keep you interested in the artwork (and comics are about the artwork just as much as the writing- being a visual medium and all.)

edit: Ha, exactly what Moorkus said.

This is my problem with it too! It feels like you don't care about it so why would the readers? :?

Thomas514

I have to agree with the observation that things are too cut & paste and static. That is one of the biggest critiques I have of my own work as well. Unfortunately, right now I'm trying to stick to a consistent update schedule on my website and pull down a full time job schedule and a second part time job, plus the comic.

I also have to say that the above statement sounds like an excuse, but it is the truth. All of your comments have been extremely helpful to me in seeing what I need to focus on to improve right now. I'll work on getting my comics less static and better composed. Thank you for the kind words on the artwork itself, its good to know that people like the art and thanks for the critiques too. It all gives me focus

Agent Coleman

What if in the last panel of the comic, the blue guy was distorted, perhaps there's some static, or his other arm's disappearing, just a little something extra to show that it's a terrible format.

NakedZergling

its just 4 of the same panels over and over..bah.

Fletcher

if you only have a certain amount of time every week to make comics, i'd honestly recommend switching your schedule to one or two a comics a week

that way you can focus more on getting some variety and movement going (which makes it more fun to read)

spending more time on each comic is pretty much the only way they're going to improve faster (as i'm sure you know)

i think most people would prefer to read a varied strip a couple of times a week rather than a comic with four practically static panels three times a week

plus if your workload lessens at some point in the future, you can go nuts and go back to doing more comics per week!

erisian pope

Fletcher wrote: »

if you only have a certain amount of time every week to make comics, i'd honestly recommend switching your schedule to one or two a comics a week

that way you can focus more on getting some variety and movement going (which makes it more fun to read)

spending more time on each comic is pretty much the only way they're going to improve faster (as i'm sure you know)

i think most people would prefer to read a varied strip a couple of times a week rather than a comic with four practically static panels three times a week

plus if your workload lessens at some point in the future, you can go nuts and go back to doing more comics per week!

Fewer comics that are more interesting to look at is a better plan/schedule than more comics that are flat and boring. Please don't underestimate the advice here - I am an avid web-comic reader (and not a graphic artist in the least - no comics from me) and despite my appetite for comics it was tough to read the words in yours and that's totally because of the copy/paste. Anyway, I hope this comes across as emphasizing an important point and not just an annoying "me too."

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Earthwormadam you are terrifying.