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The Worst Thing Ever
Backwardsname
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Today, SE++, I experienced the Worst Thing.
Now, as preface, I must admit I was partially responsible for this horror, as this morning I sinned against God and Nature by consuming a Wendy's triple Baconator and large fries. I knew there would be a heavy exit toll, but I was not prepared for what would transpire.
Five hours after my burger, I sat down to pay the scatological price for my transgressions. I steeled myself for the worst, and indeed he was a very hefty boy -- but as I extruded nearly two feet of unbroken turd, I felt relief. This was not the fiercest battle I had ever had with my own bowels. It was, however, a floater. And as it detached, it plunged beneath the waterline only to resurface like a striking anaconda, surging to the front of the bowl.
I did not know what was happening until it was too late, as I felt the log bump into my unsuspecting penis.
I had shit, you see, shit on the tip of my dick.
This is the thread where we discuss our traumas, where we comfort one another in the face of a cruel and uncaring universe -- a universe that would allow one's dick to be needlessly smeared with shit.
Now, as preface, I must admit I was partially responsible for this horror, as this morning I sinned against God and Nature by consuming a Wendy's triple Baconator and large fries. I knew there would be a heavy exit toll, but I was not prepared for what would transpire.
Five hours after my burger, I sat down to pay the scatological price for my transgressions. I steeled myself for the worst, and indeed he was a very hefty boy -- but as I extruded nearly two feet of unbroken turd, I felt relief. This was not the fiercest battle I had ever had with my own bowels. It was, however, a floater. And as it detached, it plunged beneath the waterline only to resurface like a striking anaconda, surging to the front of the bowl.
I did not know what was happening until it was too late, as I felt the log bump into my unsuspecting penis.
I had shit, you see, shit on the tip of my dick.
This is the thread where we discuss our traumas, where we comfort one another in the face of a cruel and uncaring universe -- a universe that would allow one's dick to be needlessly smeared with shit.
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