I always wondered about this too, because if someone came up to me now and said "Im going to kick your ass now, because i didn't like what you just did, and you got to just accept that ok?" im sure i wouldn't just go "oh ok... sorry" and get my ass kicked...
This philosophy must really fuck your kids heads up.
No, for me it went more like:
Taking other kids things is bad. That's stealing. You wouldn't want them to take your things, would you? If you take any other kids things without asking, you're going to get punished. You'll get a spank.
*two hours later*
I warned you. *spank spank spank*
You learn from stuff like that. You learn that things are bad and that there are consequences, and about mutual respect.
But being hit/spanked doesn't teach respect. It teaches fear. There is a difference.
To what extent? When I was a kid I got the freakin' spoon when I fucked up. Sure it made me fearful, but respect came from that. There are few things in this world, other than maybe my friends that harbor my respect because I like them. Every comanding officer I have has my respect because of our working environment, and it all comes from a fear of what will happen if someone dicks up the situation. Respect usually comes from fear. That's just how it is.
edit - I think, as a conclusion, all other repect I have, that is not in someway based off of fear, has come simply from reliablility in the people I know.
edit 2 - as an aside, do I fear a crazy dude with an AK47 - sure - do I respect him? No. Do I respect what he can do with that AK47? Yes. Different kinds of respect.
If spanking only teaches children that it's ok to beat on people smaller than you, how badly must it fuck with a kid's head when he gets a spanking for beating up his little brother?
The escalation of punishment from my youth went something like
1) Time-out (death by boredom)
2) Smack on the butt (not a full blown spanking, just a quick thwack)
3) Privilege taken away (be it TV, video games, cant go to your friends party you were all stoked for, etc)
4) Spanking (parents made me come to them without even chasing me, if I ran or said NO I'd just be making it worse )
5) Grounding (basically a long-term version of 1 or 3)
6) Spanking with object (only ever remember having this happen once and I think it was just a couple good thwacks with a ping pong paddle)
But being hit/spanked doesn't teach respect. It teaches fear. There is a difference.
To what extent? When I was a kid I got the freakin' spoon when I fucked up. Sure it made me fearful, but respect came from that. There are few things in this world, other than maybe my friends that harbor my respect because I like them. Every comanding officer I have has my respect because of our working environment, and it all comes from a fear of what will happen if someone dicks up the situation. Respect usually comes from fear. That's just how it is.
edit - I think, as a conclusion, all other repect I have, that is not in someway based off of fear, has come simply from reliablility in the people I know.
edit 2 - as an aside, do I fear a crazy dude with an AK47 - sure - do I respect him? No. Do I respect what he can do with that AK47? Yes. Different kinds of respect.
I guess it's just me then. My respect for people is in no way connected to my fear of them, and I certainly don't plan on using fear to teach my kids "respect". I mean, if you want to make your kids docile through fear, go for it. It's a powerful tool. But don't try to dress it up as something it isn't.
The escalation of punishment from my youth went something like
1) Time-out (death by boredom)
2) Smack on the butt (not a full blown spanking, just a quick thwack)
3) Privilege taken away (be it TV, video games, cant go to your friends party you were all stoked for, etc)
4) Spanking (parents made me come to them without even chasing me, if I ran or said NO I'd just be making it worse )
5) Grounding (basically a long-term version of 1 or 3)
6) Spanking with object (only ever remember having this happen once and I think it was just a couple good thwacks with a ping pong paddle)
Every comanding officer I have has my respect because of our working environment, and it all comes from a fear of what will happen if someone dicks up the situation. Respect usually comes from fear. That's just how it is.
You've never had a commanding officer that you didn't fear? Or one that you didn't respect (because he was incompetent)? None like the original dude in Band of Brothers that nboody respected?
I'd say fear and respect are earned seperately, you are just using an example where both are present and assuming it will be the case everywhere. I don't respect a serial killer because I fear them. I don't respect a drunk driver. And as a child, I never had respect for when my dad yelled, I felt it was a copout. Raise your voice louder than me so that you don't have to deal with an argument where I might be right.
Likewise, I respect the people I work with who do their jobs right but I've never feared them.
Why the flying fuck did the police chase this kid at 90mph? I hate the way the police try to turn every criminal activity into a dangerous one too. I would also say that I wish his mother were right - driving lessons are damned expensive, but I have a copy of GT2 for free.
If you don't chase and stop anyone that runs, then everyone would run.
So what? The police always catch them in the end. They should stop as soon as it's dangerous. But that's for D&D.
Every comanding officer I have has my respect because of our working environment, and it all comes from a fear of what will happen if someone dicks up the situation. Respect usually comes from fear. That's just how it is.
You've never had a commanding officer that you didn't fear? Or one that you didn't respect (because he was incompetent)? None like the original dude in Band of Brothers that nboody respected?
I'd say fear and respect are earned seperately, you are just using an example where both are present and assuming it will be the case everywhere. I don't respect a serial killer because I fear them. I don't respect a drunk driver. And as a child, I never had respect for when my dad yelled, I felt it was a copout. Raise your voice louder than me so that you don't have to deal with an argument where I might be right.
Likewise, I respect the people I work with who do their jobs right but I've never feared them.
Everyone has different experiences in life, and I did say that all other respect I have for others usually comes from knowing they're reliable.
We're also talking about different levels of fear I think. I probably shouldn't do that because the event afterward will not be good vs. oh god dad's gonna' beat the shit out of me.
Well I think his mother raised him somewhat well. I mean how proud of a parent would you be if you found out your son sneaked onto not one but two airlines post 9/11? Mad as hell, but I would still be thinking "That's my boy."
But yeah the mother could have somewhat prevented him from escaping.
Well I think his mother raised him somewhat well. I mean how proud of a parent would you be if you found out your son sneaked onto not one but two airlines post 9/11? Mad as hell, but I would still be thinking "That's my boy."
But yeah the mother could have somewhat prevented him from escaping.
Hey, hey. Handcuffs aint cheap cheesy.
What the hell should she have done to prevent him from escaping? You can't watch a child 24/7. At some point you have to trust that your kid is fast asleep and not, for example, waiting for you to doze off so he can nip out the front door.
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Well I think his mother raised him somewhat well. I mean how proud of a parent would you be if you found out your son sneaked onto not one but two airlines post 9/11? Mad as hell, but I would still be thinking "That's my boy."
But yeah the mother could have somewhat prevented him from escaping.
Hey, hey. Handcuffs aint cheap cheesy.
What the hell should she have done to prevent him from escaping? You can't watch a child 24/7. At some point you have to trust that your kid is fast asleep and not, for example, waiting for you to doze off so he can nip out the front door.
I don't know about you, but I don't usually hear of kids stealing cars or sneaking onto flights.
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MorninglordI'm tired of being Batman,so today I'll be Owl.Registered Userregular
Well I think his mother raised him somewhat well. I mean how proud of a parent would you be if you found out your son sneaked onto not one but two airlines post 9/11? Mad as hell, but I would still be thinking "That's my boy."
But yeah the mother could have somewhat prevented him from escaping.
Hey, hey. Handcuffs aint cheap cheesy.
What the hell should she have done to prevent him from escaping? You can't watch a child 24/7. At some point you have to trust that your kid is fast asleep and not, for example, waiting for you to doze off so he can nip out the front door.
I don't know about you, but I don't usually hear of kids stealing cars or sneaking onto flights.
What, exactly, does that have to do with a discussion about physically keeping the kid from doing those things in the first place, as cheesy was suggesting. You can't just tether a kid to a chair to make sure he doesn't sneak out at night. It's child abuse. What should she have done?
Morninglord on
(PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
Well I think his mother raised him somewhat well. I mean how proud of a parent would you be if you found out your son sneaked onto not one but two airlines post 9/11? Mad as hell, but I would still be thinking "That's my boy."
But yeah the mother could have somewhat prevented him from escaping.
Hey, hey. Handcuffs aint cheap cheesy.
What the hell should she have done to prevent him from escaping? You can't watch a child 24/7. At some point you have to trust that your kid is fast asleep and not, for example, waiting for you to doze off so he can nip out the front door.
I don't know about you, but I don't usually hear of kids stealing cars or sneaking onto flights.
What, exactly, does that have to do with a discussion about physically keeping the kid from doing those things in the first place, as cheesy was suggesting. You can't just tether a kid to a chair to make sure he doesn't sneak out at night. It's child abuse. What should she have done?
I don't see where anyone said anything about restraining the kid besides you, so I'm going to ask you what does physically restraining the kid have to do with teaching him not to do the things he did?
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MorninglordI'm tired of being Batman,so today I'll be Owl.Registered Userregular
Well I think his mother raised him somewhat well. I mean how proud of a parent would you be if you found out your son sneaked onto not one but two airlines post 9/11? Mad as hell, but I would still be thinking "That's my boy."
But yeah the mother could have somewhat prevented him from escaping.
Hey, hey. Handcuffs aint cheap cheesy.
What the hell should she have done to prevent him from escaping? You can't watch a child 24/7. At some point you have to trust that your kid is fast asleep and not, for example, waiting for you to doze off so he can nip out the front door.
I don't know about you, but I don't usually hear of kids stealing cars or sneaking onto flights.
What, exactly, does that have to do with a discussion about physically keeping the kid from doing those things in the first place, as cheesy was suggesting. You can't just tether a kid to a chair to make sure he doesn't sneak out at night. It's child abuse. What should she have done?
I don't see where anyone said anything about restraining the kid besides you, so I'm going to ask you what does physically restraining the kid have to do with teaching him not to do the things he did?
He said prevent the kid from escaping, an ambiguous statement which I took to mean the direct physical restraining of the child. I'd prefer to wait for cheesy to say "Yes I meant that" or "No I did not mean that" before continuing this conversation any further. If he didn't mean it, then its my mistake, problem over.
Morninglord on
(PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
I had my share of spankings when I was a kid, they're no big deal. They didn't work, much, they're a terrible deterrent. OTOH, they also didn't leave me with any psychological problems. Also, mostly every single person I know that's 30 (like me) or older WAS spanked as a kid (and the older people really got some severe spankings), and they' fine (or not) regardless of it.
I'll try and use different tactics anyway, because spanking is kinda useless.
Anyway, whether it's good or bad, it's pretty fucking stupid to say that spanked children will always became abused adults. That's a load of crap. A few might... but the majority won't.
This is slightly related, but there is this kid down in Miami who steals transit buses and rides them around the city making the stops. The kid picks up and drops off people to the bus' correct route. He's done this twice in like 2 months. They keep asking him why he does this and all he can say is that he really wants to be a bus driver.
This is slightly related, but there is this kid down in Miami who steals transit buses and rides them around the city making the stops. The kid picks up and drops off people to the bus' correct route. He's done this twice in like 2 months. They keep asking him why he does this and all he can say is that he really wants to be a bus driver.
Well I think his mother raised him somewhat well. I mean how proud of a parent would you be if you found out your son sneaked onto not one but two airlines post 9/11? Mad as hell, but I would still be thinking "That's my boy."
But yeah the mother could have somewhat prevented him from escaping.
Hey, hey. Handcuffs aint cheap cheesy.
What the hell should she have done to prevent him from escaping? You can't watch a child 24/7. At some point you have to trust that your kid is fast asleep and not, for example, waiting for you to doze off so he can nip out the front door.
I don't know about you, but I don't usually hear of kids stealing cars or sneaking onto flights.
What, exactly, does that have to do with a discussion about physically keeping the kid from doing those things in the first place, as cheesy was suggesting. You can't just tether a kid to a chair to make sure he doesn't sneak out at night. It's child abuse. What should she have done?
I don't see where anyone said anything about restraining the kid besides you, so I'm going to ask you what does physically restraining the kid have to do with teaching him not to do the things he did?
He said prevent the kid from escaping, an ambiguous statement which I took to mean the direct physical restraining of the child. I'd prefer to wait for cheesy to say "Yes I meant that" or "No I did not mean that" before continuing this conversation any further. If he didn't mean it, then its my mistake, problem over.
I meant keeping him there psychologically. Make him less motivated to escape by either
1) Punishing him more thus making him more disciplined. Juvenile detention will probably do this for his mother. But his mother could have punished him more for when he did stuff wrong such as taking away freedoms (He was obviously able to play a playstation) or even a spanking. I'm sure when you were a kid you have at some point made a crazy plan to run away. I know I did and all of my friends made plans to run away so I'm just assuming you were young and stupid at some point as well. What kept us from accomplishing them? The knowledge that if we did we would be caught and we would be in big trouble.
2) Punishing him less if there was abuse. If he was abused make him less of a desperado. Give him a reason to stay there.
I might be in error but what I just said would probably extinguish behavior like this.
On another note I think we all learned that we should never let our kids know where we put our car keys.
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What bill is this anyway? PM me.
No, for me it went more like:
Taking other kids things is bad. That's stealing. You wouldn't want them to take your things, would you? If you take any other kids things without asking, you're going to get punished. You'll get a spank.
*two hours later*
I warned you. *spank spank spank*
You learn from stuff like that. You learn that things are bad and that there are consequences, and about mutual respect.
To what extent? When I was a kid I got the freakin' spoon when I fucked up. Sure it made me fearful, but respect came from that. There are few things in this world, other than maybe my friends that harbor my respect because I like them. Every comanding officer I have has my respect because of our working environment, and it all comes from a fear of what will happen if someone dicks up the situation. Respect usually comes from fear. That's just how it is.
edit - I think, as a conclusion, all other repect I have, that is not in someway based off of fear, has come simply from reliablility in the people I know.
edit 2 - as an aside, do I fear a crazy dude with an AK47 - sure - do I respect him? No. Do I respect what he can do with that AK47? Yes. Different kinds of respect.
0431-6094-6446-7088
1) Time-out (death by boredom)
2) Smack on the butt (not a full blown spanking, just a quick thwack)
3) Privilege taken away (be it TV, video games, cant go to your friends party you were all stoked for, etc)
4) Spanking (parents made me come to them without even chasing me, if I ran or said NO I'd just be making it worse
5) Grounding (basically a long-term version of 1 or 3)
6) Spanking with object (only ever remember having this happen once and I think it was just a couple good thwacks with a ping pong paddle)
no one at all.
No, sir! I didn't see you playing with you dolls again.
they're action figurines, colonel sandurz.
I'M A TWITTER SHITTER
You've never had a commanding officer that you didn't fear? Or one that you didn't respect (because he was incompetent)? None like the original dude in Band of Brothers that nboody respected?
I'd say fear and respect are earned seperately, you are just using an example where both are present and assuming it will be the case everywhere. I don't respect a serial killer because I fear them. I don't respect a drunk driver. And as a child, I never had respect for when my dad yelled, I felt it was a copout. Raise your voice louder than me so that you don't have to deal with an argument where I might be right.
Likewise, I respect the people I work with who do their jobs right but I've never feared them.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Everyone has different experiences in life, and I did say that all other respect I have for others usually comes from knowing they're reliable.
We're also talking about different levels of fear I think. I probably shouldn't do that because the event afterward will not be good vs. oh god dad's gonna' beat the shit out of me.
But yeah the mother could have somewhat prevented him from escaping.
Hey, hey. Handcuffs aint cheap cheesy.
What the hell should she have done to prevent him from escaping? You can't watch a child 24/7. At some point you have to trust that your kid is fast asleep and not, for example, waiting for you to doze off so he can nip out the front door.
That avatar couldn't match that post any better. :P
What, exactly, does that have to do with a discussion about physically keeping the kid from doing those things in the first place, as cheesy was suggesting. You can't just tether a kid to a chair to make sure he doesn't sneak out at night. It's child abuse. What should she have done?
He said prevent the kid from escaping, an ambiguous statement which I took to mean the direct physical restraining of the child. I'd prefer to wait for cheesy to say "Yes I meant that" or "No I did not mean that" before continuing this conversation any further. If he didn't mean it, then its my mistake, problem over.
I'll try and use different tactics anyway, because spanking is kinda useless.
Anyway, whether it's good or bad, it's pretty fucking stupid to say that spanked children will always became abused adults. That's a load of crap. A few might... but the majority won't.
Pretty weird, but kind of funny.
I meant keeping him there psychologically. Make him less motivated to escape by either
1) Punishing him more thus making him more disciplined. Juvenile detention will probably do this for his mother. But his mother could have punished him more for when he did stuff wrong such as taking away freedoms (He was obviously able to play a playstation) or even a spanking. I'm sure when you were a kid you have at some point made a crazy plan to run away. I know I did and all of my friends made plans to run away so I'm just assuming you were young and stupid at some point as well. What kept us from accomplishing them? The knowledge that if we did we would be caught and we would be in big trouble.
2) Punishing him less if there was abuse. If he was abused make him less of a desperado. Give him a reason to stay there.
I might be in error but what I just said would probably extinguish behavior like this.
On another note I think we all learned that we should never let our kids know where we put our car keys.