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Weird Girlfriend troubles + web site. [Solved]
Elimination
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Has anyone heard of a web site called "Hey all" or "Hey yall" or something like that? I know it said Welcome to Hey all or something on the top.
My girlfriend keeps trying to hide this web site from me and im trying to figure out why. I got a glimpse of it the other night and its got me a little worried. Though sometimes she hides weird things from me for no reason.
My girlfriend keeps trying to hide this web site from me and im trying to figure out why. I got a glimpse of it the other night and its got me a little worried. Though sometimes she hides weird things from me for no reason.
PSN: PA_Elimination 3DS: 4399-2012-1711 Steam: http://steamcommunity.com/id/TheElimination/
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Do you have any other info at all? I mean, I guess you could go through her browser history, but that's probably not really a good idea and probably what you actually want to do is let it go.
No it was a site, it had her picture on it and a description, and i've caught her on it lots, just she always slams her laptop shut every time i come up and see it. I've tried lot sof google-fu myself, i was wanting to see if anyone here used the web site/knew what i meant. If not than thats fine, but i get worried when someone is intentionally hiding something from me. Especially when i hide nothing from her.
I definitely dont care enough to go through her browser history.
That's suspicious to SLAM the laptop shut. Maybe it's porn.
I'm probably just going to give up, my last 3 girlfriends cheated on me by using dating web sites so i get paranoid sometimes.
Does she know this history?
Yes she does. I also find it strange that she keeps adding people to facebook/MSN (All guys.) who none of her other friends know. I don't know what i should be doing other than just sitting and seeing what happens at this point. I wanted to investigate to put my mind at ease but i have no real way of doing so.
Her behaviour does seem very strange...best thing to do is just talk to her.
That's a red flag to me
If she's blowing you off when you're obviously concerned about something she seems to be hiding from you, that's a problem. I'm not saying she's cheating or the star of her own amateur porn site, but the fact she doesn't want to communicate reassurances or information doesn't seem like a good sign for your relationship.
How old are you and where are you meeting these people?
I usually meet most of my girlfriends through mutual friends or by chance. I havent had many and most have been long relationships. I'm 25.
No, but i havent been with her super long, and a lot of her friends seem to be older men (like 15-18 years older.) more often than not. And when hanging out with her i've noticed some of these people buy her things, a lot. One of them even built an entire PC, an expensive one too, to give to her. It's really kind of weird, she says that these people are friends only and that she hangs around with some of these older people because they are more respectful to her wishes than younger men (She does have younger friends too, though mostly women.). But i've never seen this before. I can't wrap my head around these older men not wanting something in return for all this giving they do money wise. A normal friend in my experience doesnt go out of their way to spend a thousand dollars on a computer for you "just because", thats not generally my experience with human beings in general.
She also seems to have absolutely no problem taking all this stuff from these people. She even flat out asks for things from some of them and usually gets them. She hasn't been shy about me, they all know about me, all her friends know i am with her and her boyfriend. She hasn't tried to hide me from anyone or anything. But i find these odd friendships really kind of unsettling. It also makes me feel kind of bad since i do not have the monetary means to do things for her like these other "Friends" are able to. I'm just not as well established in this city yet.
It's all starting to feel weird.
Don't underestimate the capacity for men to do ridiculous shit for pretty girls with the barely even implied suggestion that "something" might happen in the future. There are lots of girls/women that are happy to take advantage of this sort of thing, it doesn't mean she's cheating on you.
The website thing suggested Cam Girl to me though, which takes that sort of thing to another level, hence my amazon list comment.
Battle.net: Fireflash#1425
Steam Friend code: 45386507
This means shes either really good at really hot or good at finding guys to manipulate or just good at manipulating people in general. Not a bad thing but this kind of person is worth keeping an eye on till you know how they use such a power.
What does she do for a living? Are we talking single older guys here or married guys?
As far as i can tell they are single, all of them. I have a strong feeling that she flirts/leads them on in some way or another because i can't see people giving expensive things like that to just a normal friend. It just doesn't really add up with my experience with the general human population. I don't believe she is cheating on me at all, but i do believe that something is going on here, more than what she is letting on. I know some men will do stupid things, but dishing out a thousand bucks for a tricked out custom PC for "just a friend" throws up a huge red flag for me that there is more here than there appears to be.
This guy who bought her the PC was also supposed to come to the city to visit her for 2 weeks, but now that i am here in the city (I was moving here when i met her, now i am here.) he has now not shown up at all. I still don't believe she is sleeping with any of these people, and she has been somewhat upfront about some of them, i just have this strong feeling that there is more to it than what she is telling me.
The irony of this is sometimes she can be extremely cold to me for no reason. She is jelous of other girls that know me, but at the same time she has becoming very distant since i've moved closer to her. Not all the time, mind you, sometimes she wants to be around me and is very affectionate, but its a 50/50.
Also to the person who said i dont trust her, truthfully i dont trust anyone anymore. I've been betrayed in some way by every girlfriend i've ever had basically. So the trust thing stems from experience in the past. I myself am a very upfront person, i've talked to her from time to time about a lot of this stuff, but i never seem to get too far to the root of any of it. A lot of the time she gets very upset when i ask her about these things too.
You need to clear this up right now because every instinct I have is chirping insistently. You don't half answer a direct question and walk away, and *multiple* older single men DO NOT buy things for girls for no reason.
Then again, is she on Hey Y'all the official Adam Lambert site complete with lame-o social networking functionality? http://www.adamofficial.com/us/node/1521043
Now you're just being cruel.
Ha ha ha, no i dont think its Adam Lambert, though that site is hilariously bad.
Also she wants me to live with her, she's asked me, and i've been thinking about it since i am there at her place so often.
Also, on the flip side, one of these older guys i know is genuinely a good friend of hers. I've met him and hung around him with her a bunch of times and he seems pretty tame. He has even asked me to hang out a few times without her at all and is a pretty decent guy. I don't know how the others are as i've had only brief experiences with some of them. Most of her friends i have met have been the younger ones who were all women.
The only time I'd do that is if I was looking at porn which I likely wouldn't be doing with my SO around.
If she wants you to move in, then her expectation must be that she can't really hide anything from you at that point so I can't imagine she has some terrible double-life or whatever her behaviour so far would suggest.
She's admitted to looking at porn before. That sort of thing doesnt bother me at all, it actually takes a lot to bother me. What bothers me more is the not knowing. The lack of information basically. It's hard enough for me to trust someone as it is and she knows that because i've talked to her about it before.
On the flip side she could be honest and they are just friends. There aren't a ton, but pretty much all her guy friends are significantly older. And most of them give her gifts, i've seen them do it or heard about it from her. And that is the part that i find really weird. I mean bringing someone some food or something thats a gift you give to your friend just because. But a thousand dollar PC? A 42' TV from another? An xbox 360? I've never had "just friends" give me things like that.
First off you need to come right out and tell her if you are this worried about it. If she's blowing that off, which it seems she may have, then thats a serious red flag. You don't have a serious relationship with someone who blows off something that is bothering you.
Couples don't need to share absolutely everything, its perfectly normal to have some personal space and boundaries, hell its healthy to do that. But there has to be some compassion and understanding on both sides. If someone is genuinely bothering one person in a relationship you should be willing to be frank/candid.
I love my other half a ton, we share pretty much everything, but I do some things he doesn't know 100% because I know its not his interest. If he came to me, expressing worry based off a past insecurity it would only be fair for me to be candid. Doesn't mean I need to spill my guts but even just a frank response of why I can't say shows I give a damn.
I also definitely advise against moving in together, at least until the feelings of insecurity and lack of trust are resolved. Moving in with her would just be asking for more trouble, especially since it seems she has her own bit of an issue with control and expecting things from you she can't do herself.
I'm not saying she's cheating, nor am I saying she's on a dating site, she could just be embarassed (maybe its some sort of horrible slash fic or something equally embarassing), and the guys really could just be good friends. But the real issue here is the lack of trust, the lack of candidness, and the flippant attitude towards your concerns, never mind the expectations she can't meet herself.
I like her a lot, but the "gifts" just keep setting off these big alarm bells in my head. And talking to her about it has not really helped since i don't really know/understand her relationship with most of these people and she hasn't exactly been 100% open with me about it. It's also possible that maybe she is inadvertently crossing a boundary that i wouldn't like and she doesn't even realize it?
That's because it's very very very likely that they are more than friends. Or they REALLLLY want to be more than just friends. Either way, it's not good.
Almost 4 months. I knew this girl in high school as well, and we had kept in touch but not really been good friends or whatever for quite a while. We reconnected when she asked if i wanted to hang out when i had come into the city on completely unrelated business. She made the first move on me as well, i came to see her with no expectations other than a hang out and a hello. She took it a lot further and then expressed her interest in going exclusive shortly after.
Be afraid of "she wouldn't do that." You, ultimately, don't actually know if she would.
There are clearly a huge number of insecurities and trust issues on both sides and that just breeds an awful relationship. You'll need to fix those things first before you can enjoy a decent relationship. In this case, for example, you probably should've dumped this girl a long time ago. She is awkward and a liar. None of these things are normal. Moving in with her sounds like a terrible idea because of all these same trust issues.
When you're attractive and have flirting (read: manipulation) down to a mastery you can get pretty much whatever you want.
Doesn't mean she's messing around, but the guys are definitely holding onto the possibility of sticking it to her sometime in the future.
Really, this is textbook manipulation between her and the "guys."