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Close Encounters with the Death Kind
Posts
Don't you want something else to get you through this?
Apparently when I was about one-and-a-half I was toddling around while my parents, grandparents, and aunt were sitting in the living room chatting. While they were talking, I crawled my way up the stairs and decided that there, at the top of the stairs overlooking the marble entry way, was the perfect place to practice my walking.
I tripped.
As I was flying headfirst down the (very steep) staircase, my aunt notices me, leaps, and catches me flying-tackle-style before I hit the marble. Thanks auntie Barb! Way to look after your child, parents
that happened to me too after tripping and falling on pavement when racing someone. weird.
also when I was 13 I had some weird convulsions at school where I my back spasmed out for about a minute and then I had one of those head rushes where I went blind and I felt incredibly tired for about 5 minutes. I never figured out what that was about though because I felt perfectly fine just a little while later.
The rail hit on side of the ravine and bounced back up with one end moving much faster than the other. Before any of us could react it's end had exploded the end of one railroad tie. My head was like two feet from it. Then the rail hit the bridge supports and made god awful noise so we got out of there.
Another time me and my friend were doing our regular saturday night thing. Family LSD followed by a case of bottled beer each. After sunrise we would go for drives while the roads were empty (except for folks going to early church). Slayer playing in a 57dogdge pickup was awesome. Those trucks had metal dashboards btw. We went out road for shiggiles and hit a telephone pole that came out of nowhere.:P
The passenger door sprung open and without thinking I leaned uot to close it. As I did a large hunting knife I carried floated out of it's sheath and seemed to hover in front of my face. I grabbed at it and almost followed it out the truck because my other hand was only holding onto the open door.
That truck was solid though. Only the door had damage and wouldn't work after that and that was only because the handle got smashed. A few weeks later my buddy got a DWI because the door was randomly opening on left turns. The cops saw this and went after us. We had been out playing with guns and had a cr full of beer and some guns and a homemade silencer (used). My buddy went to jail and I asked the cop if I could get the beer out before the truck went to the impound yard. He let me and I got the silencer out before the truck got searched or things might have been very bad.
Well that doesn't sound like a concussion at all.
A friend of mine got T-boned in her sedan by a 1970's Ford pickup. She didn't have side airbags and she almost died. She was in the ICU for like two weeks.
"Became"? More like "Unexpectedly survived to continue being"
I had that "head-rush" happen when I was walking my rent check to the lease office, slipped on some ice and hit the back of my head on the asphalt. I only got a minor concussion out of it but I remember losing my vision for a short period of time and my hearing was all jacked up as if someone fired a gun near my ears. Pretty scary stuff.
I've hit my head a number of times and have had a total of 3 concussions so far. Oh and I don't play sports.
I have a slightly longer than usual board, about 56 inches or so, which meant hella fast rides compared to my friends' 30 or so inch boards.
One day while I was going down a hill the back truck of my long board EXPLODED and I slid down the hill side almost into a car before falling into the side walk and letting out a big "ow!" I remember thinking, "well, that was close." I took my board to the shop and got a new truck and some new wheels and I was back at it.
A week or two later I was going down the same hill, going at around 30mph, and my front truck exploded. I learned very quickly how much more dangerous this was. The board essentially stopped and I went flying 30mph into pavement.
I rolled quite a bit and at the last moment I ended up slamming my forehead into my arm rather than pavement. I had a huge bruise on both for a while and decided that longboarding is actually a dangerous sport.
Currently I use my longboard as a coffee table. I may take it out again one day..
edit: honestly it takes one big fall to turn all those comedic skateboarder crashing videos into cringey horrorfests.
Other than that and a couple of times I could probably have succumbed to alcohol related mishaps I've been really lucky
Did you show your teeth?
Coran Attack!
yes. I was all like
Doctor said I shouldn't have lived through it. I told him otherwise.
What spring does with the cherry trees.
what a dick!
and good god, I remember Pony had awesomely painful stories, but I think my mind blocked them out because I can't recall any at the moment.
I'll repeat something I learned a long time ago. I suppose it can, at times, and if you're an idiot, apply to red lights.
Four-way stops in Chicago don't operate on right-of-way, it's who wants it the most.
Darwin himself would say "fuck it" at the sight of those two.
Trees, buildings, very steep hills, more trees, very large boulders, bunk beds while still asleep, etc.
I'm either lucky or good at taking a fall though because I never got worse then some scrapped off sections of skin or a tooth or two through a lip. Kind of thing where it could've been quite bad depending on how I landed.
Edit: thinking you're immortal is pretty valid because it's not like you're going to be around when you're proven wrong.
stroke, skull fractures, drug overdoses, stabbings
heck, one time a guy beat me with a baseball bat to the point that he was pretty sure i was dead
that's a funny story
fuck, i've even tried to kill myself a couple times (not so funny stories!) and i've managed to survive it
so
i am pretty sure that, while not indestructible or immune to pain
i basically can't die
Coran Attack!
We need to get you and Stale to mate.
Your offspring would rule the universe.
what restaurant did she slam into? or at what intersection?
This sounds an awful lot like the setting for Defendor.
I guess one time when I was like 3 I jumped off a table onto a couch, bounced off and landed face first on a ninja turtles action figure that stabbed me in the forehead
but it was just a few stitches and nothing lasting!