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[World Cup] Yes, France is still terrible

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    projectmayhemprojectmayhem Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I always feel bad for Germany (minus Ballack, fuck'em). They play such powerful football but just have shit luck at times.

    Also, England and France to not make it out of their groups. If this doesnt come true, I will steal one of Crouches Nachos and one of Rooneys burgers.

    The stakes are high gentlemen.

    projectmayhem on
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    GnomeTankGnomeTank What the what? Portland, OregonRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Podolski must have been drinking too late last night, because he was quite terrible today.

    GnomeTank on
    Sagroth wrote: »
    Oh c'mon FyreWulff, no one's gonna pay to visit Uranus.
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    MalyonsusMalyonsus Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Æthelred wrote: »
    I tried to work out what will happen if England draw with Slovenia and the USA beat Algeria. It is pretty complicated. USA and Slovenia go through, but the 1st/2nd progression is messy. Could come down to lots!

    I think there are two ways for it to come down to lots:

    England-Slovenia draw, USA beats Algeria - If USA wins by a margin of 1 and USA scores the same number of goals as Slovenia (so, say 1-1 and 1-0) it goes to lots for who wins the group.

    England-Slovenia draw, USA-Algeria draw - If USA scores two fewer goals than England, Slovenia wins, lots will be drawn to see who else advances.

    Edit:
    Third:
    If England and the USA both win by the same margin and England scores two more goals than the USA, the winner of the group will be decided by lots.

    Malyonsus on
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    SparvySparvy Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    TheBigEasy wrote: »
    TheBigEasy wrote: »
    I'm happy with any England game which doesn't end with Rooney eating one of Crouch's limbs.

    Low standards are the key to watching England.

    Well ... it has kept you guys believing for over 40 years that you can win another world cup ... sometime. So there is that.

    No, no, that's our entitlement complex.

    At least you guys prepare a victory party in case you all of a sudden DO win the cup ... with us (Germans) its always a crapload of pessimism up front, when in fact Germany is the team with the most finals participation (we played in 7 finals games, winning 3) of all ...

    Then again, watching Podolski waste all those chances and a fucking penalty kick today can make a pessimist out of the cheeriest fellow ... :(

    Well, at least you know that as long as make it out of your group you will face someone from this travesty of a group.

    Sparvy on
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    ÆthelredÆthelred Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Here's my reckoning for the first scenario..



    USA beat Algeria
    The USA are through.

    && Slovenia beat England
    1st Slovenia, 2nd USA.

    && Slovenia-England draw
    - If USA wins by two goals, they top the group.
    - If USA win by one goal, whoever scores the most goals in their final game tops the group. If both score the same number of goals, it's lots time!

    && England beat Slovenia
    - If the USA win by either the same or more than England, they top the group.

    Æthelred on
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    Zen VulgarityZen Vulgarity What a lovely day for tea Secret British ThreadRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Go England!

    Zen Vulgarity on
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    BogartBogart Streetwise Hercules Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited June 2010
    Go and learn how to play football as if you weren't a bunch of cunts England!

    Bogart on
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    retrovmretrovm Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    jesus H england, what the hell was that? warren ellis put it best on his twitter;
    "England team now being wheeled back to their care home. Heskey being taken straight to glue factory."

    retrovm on
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    GnomeTankGnomeTank What the what? Portland, OregonRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    retrovm wrote: »
    jesus H england, what the hell was that? warren ellis put it best on his twitter;
    "England team now being wheeled back to their care home. Heskey being taken straight to glue factory."

    That meshes very well with my new thread title.

    GnomeTank on
    Sagroth wrote: »
    Oh c'mon FyreWulff, no one's gonna pay to visit Uranus.
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    BogartBogart Streetwise Hercules Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited June 2010
    The papers will, deservedly, crucify them tomorrow.

    Bogart on
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    RamiRami Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    At this point I'm not sure why anyone cares. Whether England and/or USA manage to scrape their way out of the group, neither team is anywhere near good enough to win the competition. It's basically a countdown until both countries are eliminated and forgotten.

    Rami on
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    ÆthelredÆthelred Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Malawi 3 - 0 Algeria
    Mali 0 - 1 Algeria
    Angola 0 - 0 Algeria
    Ivory Coast 2 - 3 Algeria
    Algeria 0 - 4 Egypt
    Nigeria 1 - 0 Algeria
    Algeria 0 - 3 Serbia
    Ireland 3 - 0 Algeria
    Algeria 1 - 0 United Arab Emirates
    Algeria 0 - 1 Slovenia
    England 0 - 0 Algeria

    Æthelred on
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    Space CoyoteSpace Coyote Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    English Exceptionalism is the belief that England can win any football tournament, regardless of previous performance.

    Space Coyote on
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    Wet BanditWet Bandit Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I'm taking great pleasure in how this is playing out for England so far because of this:

    easy.jpg

    Certainly The Sun isn't representative of England as a whole, but still.

    Wet Bandit on
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    PantsBPantsB Fake Thomas Jefferson Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Rami wrote: »
    At this point I'm not sure why anyone cares. Whether England and/or USA manage to scrape their way out of the group, neither team is anywhere near good enough to win the competition. It's basically a countdown until both countries are eliminated and forgotten.

    Who has looked good enough? My money is still on the Dutch but we'll see how they do in the early game tomorrow against Samurai Blue

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    ÆthelredÆthelred Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Rami wrote: »
    At this point I'm not sure why anyone cares. Whether England and/or USA manage to scrape their way out of the group, neither team is anywhere near good enough to win the competition. It's basically a countdown until both countries are eliminated and forgotten.

    This side of the draw is pathetically weak compared to the other. The best teams in each side:

    Netherlands, Italy, Brazil, Portugal, Ivory Coast, Chile, Spain

    Germany, Argentina, Mexico, Uruguay, ???

    Æthelred on
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    saint2esaint2e Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    According to my handy-dandy spreadsheet here:

    England
    England win, they advance. There is no way they can't advance if they win.
    England lose, they're out. There is no way they will make it through if they lose.

    If they draw and:
    a) US beats Algeria, England is out
    b) US loses to Algeria, England is out
    c) US draws Algeria, and scores >= the goals England scores against Slovenia (ie- US draws with 1 goal, England draws with 1 goal), England is out.
    d) US draws Algeria, and England scores 2 or more goals that US scores against Algeria (ie - England draw with 2 goals, US held to scoreless draw), goes to lots.
    e) US draws Algeria, and England scores 3 or more goals that US scores against Algeria (ie - England draw with 2 goals, US held to scoreless draw), goes to lots.

    There's a lot of red there. England is NOT in a good spot here.

    saint2e on
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    saint2esaint2e Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Now, the same for the USA

    USA
    USA win, they advance. Again. No way otherwise.
    USA lose, they're out.

    If they draw and:
    a) England beats Slovenia, USA is out.
    b) England loses to Slovenia, USA advance.
    c) England draws Slovenia and scores 3 goals more than USA in their draw, USA is out.
    d) England draws Slovenia and scores less than 2 goals more than USA in their draw, USA advances.
    e) England draws Slovenia and scores exactly 2 goals more than USA in their draw, it goes to lots.

    saint2e on
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    ÆthelredÆthelred Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    saint2e wrote: »
    d) US draws Algeria, and England scores 2 or more goals that US scores against Algeria (ie - England draw with 2 goals, US held to scoreless draw), England advances.

    Slight amendentment to this scenario: if England score exactly two more goals than the US (with both drawing), it's lots.

    Æthelred on
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    evilbobevilbob RADELAIDERegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Wet Bandit wrote: »
    I'm taking great pleasure in how this is playing out for England so far because of this:

    easy.jpg

    Certainly The Sun isn't representative of England as a whole, but still.

    To be honest it was a fucking easy draw. England should have walked through it with no trouble. They'd have qualified already with 2 wins if they weren't so terrible going forward.

    evilbob on
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    Wet BanditWet Bandit Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    evilbob wrote: »
    To be honest it was a fucking easy draw. England should have walked through it with no trouble. They'd have qualified already with 2 wins if they weren't so terrible going forward.

    Sure, it was an easy draw. But that doesn't mean people need to stop showing respect for other teams. You're just asking for bad karma there.

    Wet Bandit on
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    saint2esaint2e Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Amendments made, thank you... The spreadsheet I have doesn't factor in scenarios that go to lots.

    saint2e on
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    saint2esaint2e Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Also, imagine if Robert Green hadn't let in that goal...

    saint2e on
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    GnomeTankGnomeTank What the what? Portland, OregonRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    saint2e wrote: »
    Also, imagine if Robert Green hadn't let in that goal...

    No thanks...

    GnomeTank on
    Sagroth wrote: »
    Oh c'mon FyreWulff, no one's gonna pay to visit Uranus.
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    AegisAegis Fear My Dance Overshot Toronto, Landed in OttawaRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    saint2e wrote: »
    Also, imagine if Robert Green hadn't let in that goal...

    This really could use an NHL "History will be made" commercial.

    Aegis on
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    TheBigEasyTheBigEasy Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Sparvy wrote: »
    TheBigEasy wrote: »
    TheBigEasy wrote: »
    I'm happy with any England game which doesn't end with Rooney eating one of Crouch's limbs.

    Low standards are the key to watching England.

    Well ... it has kept you guys believing for over 40 years that you can win another world cup ... sometime. So there is that.

    No, no, that's our entitlement complex.

    At least you guys prepare a victory party in case you all of a sudden DO win the cup ... with us (Germans) its always a crapload of pessimism up front, when in fact Germany is the team with the most finals participation (we played in 7 finals games, winning 3) of all ...

    Then again, watching Podolski waste all those chances and a fucking penalty kick today can make a pessimist out of the cheeriest fellow ... :(

    Well, at least you know that as long as make it out of your group you will face someone from this travesty of a group.

    Yeapp ... England doesn't seem that big of a problem now ... but we still have to beat Ghana. And knowing our team, this could go either way from blowing them to the moon to them beating us 3-0 or something.

    I take solace in the fact, that we never went out in the group stages at a World Cup ... :D.

    TheBigEasy on
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    PantsBPantsB Fake Thomas Jefferson Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    saint2e wrote: »
    Also, imagine if Robert Green hadn't let in that goal...
    US deserved a draw that match though. Altidore could have scored too and who knows what happens if the US is in desperation mode.


    More fairly: if the ref hadn't disallowed that goal. US would be on 4 points and through with a draw.

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    ArikadoArikado Southern CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Man, getting flashbacks of the 1994 World Cup where Mexico, Italy, Ireland, and Norway got in a 4 way tie with 4 points.

    Arikado on
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    shalmeloshalmelo sees no evil Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Aegis wrote: »
    saint2e wrote: »
    Also, imagine if Robert Green hadn't let in that goal...

    This really could use an NHL "History will be made" commercial.

    There isn't one out there already? As soon as the US-England game ended, I told my friend that one of them would be on youtube within the hour.

    shalmelo on
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    ÆthelredÆthelred Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    TheBigEasy wrote: »
    I take solace in the fact, that we never went out in the group stages at a World Cup ... :D.

    Yeah, but there have been World Cups England hasn't even qualified for.. Now this, this is a record:


    Champions
    4th
    Quarters
    2nd
    3rd
    Champions
    Second Round
    2nd
    2nd
    Champions
    Quarters
    Quarters
    2nd
    3rd



    Guess who?

    Æthelred on
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    AlegisAlegis Impeckable Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Wow. Saw the summary. Terrible play, no flow at all - passes falling short.

    England is in trouble.

    Alegis on
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    TheBigEasyTheBigEasy Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Æthelred wrote: »
    TheBigEasy wrote: »
    I take solace in the fact, that we never went out in the group stages at a World Cup ... :D.

    Yeah, but there have been World Cups England hasn't even qualified for.. Now this, this is a record:


    Champions
    4th
    Quarters
    2nd
    3rd
    Champions
    Second Round
    2nd
    2nd
    Champions
    Quarters
    Quarters
    2nd
    3rd



    Guess who?

    :D ...

    TheBigEasy on
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    quovadis13quovadis13 Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Worst game of the tournament hands down, England vs Algeria. Awful, awful, awful. It would have been nice to seen England actually play when the ball was more than 5 feet from them, but nope. They didnt even care and Algeria deserved to win that game on effort alone.

    If I was English, I probably would have thrown something through my TV for the lack of effort on the field there.

    CRAP. Waste of 2 hours

    quovadis13 on
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    Space CoyoteSpace Coyote Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    quovadis13 wrote: »
    Worst game of the tournament hands down, England vs Algeria. Awful, awful, awful. It would have been nice to seen England actually play when the ball was more than 5 feet from them, but nope. They didnt even care and Algeria deserved to win that game on effort alone.

    If I was English, I probably would have thrown something through my TV for the lack of effort on the field there.

    CRAP. Waste of 2 hours

    I'm not going to destroy a TV every time England play badly, I'm not made of money.

    Space Coyote on
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    ÆthelredÆthelred Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    The Guardian's Twitter replay usually amuses:

    birdy.png

    Æthelred on
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    PantsBPantsB Fake Thomas Jefferson Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    quovadis13 wrote: »
    Worst game of the tournament hands down, England vs Algeria. Awful, awful, awful. It would have been nice to seen England actually play when the ball was more than 5 feet from them, but nope. They didnt even care and Algeria deserved to win that game on effort alone.

    If I was English, I probably would have thrown something through my TV for the lack of effort on the field there.

    CRAP. Waste of 2 hours

    Slovenia Algeria was worse

    ed
    rooneygrab_1661625c.jpg
    Was sure he was going to get a red but I guess he just took it out on the fans

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    SparvySparvy Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I still think Argentina will bring this one home, and for Maradona to make some offensive reference to the hand of god just to rub it in.

    Brasil and Germany are the two big contenders though, possibly with Holland as well.
    Though there are many more strong teams this year, they just all seem to be underperforming.

    Sparvy on
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    ArikadoArikado Southern CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Æthelred wrote: »
    The Guardian's Twitter replay usually amuses:
    snip

    I watched the Mexico - France one. I'm confused as to why "ricky_martin" shows up so much in the end of the match.

    Arikado on
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    GnomeTankGnomeTank What the what? Portland, OregonRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Arikado wrote: »
    Æthelred wrote: »
    The Guardian's Twitter replay usually amuses:
    snip

    I watched the Mexico - France one. I'm confused as to why "ricky_martin" shows up so much in the end of the match.

    I ran the US/SVN one, and iphone4 showed up as moderately sized bubble, though not quite as big as referee.

    GnomeTank on
    Sagroth wrote: »
    Oh c'mon FyreWulff, no one's gonna pay to visit Uranus.
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    Zen VulgarityZen Vulgarity What a lovely day for tea Secret British ThreadRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    The US in desperation turns into this weirdo unstoppable pressure offense

    Zen Vulgarity on
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