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Congrats to you. My sister is 3 months along and can't wait to get out of the first trimester
I think my only advice is to make sure she's feeling comfortable and support her through the morning sickness, if she has any. And keep track of her cravings and aversions so you know what to buy and stay away from (though it sounds like you're doing it already)
Start buying diapers as soon as she hits the second trimester. That way, when/if you're low on monies (like I am currently with one on the way) you'll have a good stock.
Be prepared (summon all your patience) for your wife to be incredibly uncomfortable during the final month (possibly 2). Even just sitting up or sleeping will be a pain in the ass for her.
Prepare like crazy.
My wife is due in 3 1/2 weeks and a couple months ago I went out and purchased: 4xTrashbags (40 count) 2x of our shampoo, conditioner, toilet paper, toothpaste, dishwasher stuff, laundry detergent, dryer sheets and paper towel packages.
When you have a newborn, the last thing you will want to have to think about is 'oh crap, do we have this?'
You will want to be able to reach into the cabinet and pull out whatever you happen to need that moment. Plus, being prepared is good just because you'll be able to spend more time with your wife and child
while it might sound overly pessimisstic. be prepared to deal with a miscarriage. way more common an occurance than people think and it sucks (been through 1)
teach it to play magic asap. that way he/she can be earning you 50k plus a year by age 11.
don't be so short sighted, golf or tennis will net you many times that once they get around 18, and are less likely to be ruined by hight/body type genes than football or basketball.
tinwhiskers on
0
ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, ModeratorMod Emeritus
while it might sound overly pessimisstic. be prepared to deal with a miscarriage. way more common an occurance than people think and it sucks (been through 1)
That's why you don't tell anyone for a while. I *think* tradition says you start telling people and making a big thing about it at the end of the first trimester (though you can bet that no sooner will I get a positive then my hand will be on the phone dialing my mother).
Congratulations! Enjoy this, and cherish it, because even if you have another nothing is ever the same as the your first pregnancy.
ceres on
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
teach it to play magic asap. that way he/she can be earning you 50k plus a year by age 11.
don't be so short sighted, golf or tennis will net you many times that once they get around 18, and are less likely to be ruined by hight/body type genes than football or basketball.
true but i KNOW jeffH knows how to play magic relatively well.
so you dont sink $x every year in lesson costs that may not come to fruition vs kid'll prolly wreck FNM's at the very least.
eatmosushi on
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Spun uncontrollably skyward... Driven brutally into the ground
Sir CarcassI have been shown the end of my worldRound Rock, TXRegistered Userregular
edited June 2010
For her:
Don't eat deli meat
Don't eat hotdogs
Don't change cat litter
Watch caffeine intake
Don't suddenly start overeating (eating for two is a myth), but eat healthy
Be prepared for the weirdest cravings, and to only want to eat dessert
Don't buy a bunch of newborn size stuff, most babies will outgrow that stuff quick, and you'll probably get a ton of newborn clothes during the shower or just as gifts. We were much more appreciative of the next size stuff. I think our son wore newborn size for maybe a month.
Don't have your heart set on only breastfeeding as it may not be a possibility. Nothing wrong with formula, if it comes to that, though breast milk is preferable.
Rummage / Yard / Garage sales. Buy the shit out of newborn stuff from people. Don't buy from stores unless you have an aversion to buying from those places.
SkyCaptain on
The RPG Bestiary - Dangerous foes and legendary monsters for D&D 4th Edition
Start buying diapers as soon as she hits the second trimester. That way, when/if you're low on monies (like I am currently with one on the way) you'll have a good stock.
Be prepared (summon all your patience) for your wife to be incredibly uncomfortable during the final month (possibly 2). Even just sitting up or sleeping will be a pain in the ass for her.
Prepare like crazy.
My wife is due in 3 1/2 weeks and a couple months ago I went out and purchased: 4xTrashbags (40 count) 2x of our shampoo, conditioner, toilet paper, toothpaste, dishwasher stuff, laundry detergent, dryer sheets and paper towel packages.
When you have a newborn, the last thing you will want to have to think about is 'oh crap, do we have this?'
You will want to be able to reach into the cabinet and pull out whatever you happen to need that moment. Plus, being prepared is good just because you'll be able to spend more time with your wife and child
congratulations and good luck to you!
*chimes in*
Check out cloth diapers rather then disposables, you'll save a ton using cloth over nothing but disposables.
Anything else important we're missing in these early stages?
Save Money!
of course finances are different for everyone, but if you aren't loaded, then do a budget. Find things that aren't necessities and cut them out or cut back. The extra cash you start saving now will disappear quickly when the little one shows up, but those monthly expenses cut out (cable tv, WoW subscription, hot new game of the week purchase, etc....) will help in the long run.
Not a necessity, but something I did was to keep a journal of every little thing. From the day she found out and how she felt. First scan (include a picture), everything she (and you) feel is special. It's lovely to look back on it when they get older and it'll be nice for the babe to read when s/he is old enough.
How tight are your finances? Is there going to be a full time stay at home parent? What is your support structure like (family and friends who are cool with babies)?
Improvolone on
Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
Before my nephew was born, my sister was all kinds of psyched about having her first kid. My mom warned her about depression coming along with the baby and she didn't listen. Cue the big day, baby is healthy and sister is an emotional train wreck incapable of finishing a sentence without bursting into tears. It lasted for several weeks but she eventually got over it.
Bottom line, be prepared for postpartum depression. It is extremely rough.
Raekreu on
0
Sir CarcassI have been shown the end of my worldRound Rock, TXRegistered Userregular
we are living comfortably right now - i'm a software engineer at a large company that pays me well enough, she is an office asst. and will become a stay at home mom. Money will be tighter, but we've accepted the sacrifices to be made already. We have a great support structure as well, but family is about 50 minutes away - would love to be closer, but commutes don't really allow it.
...our families live about 5 hours away. I think you'll be alright. We still see ours several times a year, but it would be really nice to have a baby sitter every now and then.
I advise against buying too much stuff until the second trimester. My wife and I had started stocking up on things when she got pregnant the first time, and when she mis-carried we had to hide/jettison some of it because it'd always remind her of it.
But, in the event that the little guy comes out with a clean bill of health, and given your current intentions, my recommendation is to save a nice chunk of change. Having a baby is not cheap, and the hospital bills are annoying.
Be a steady rock when it comes to her emotions, my wife was an emotional wreck during her pregnancies, the second more than the first because of what happened.
Also, look into a membership to warehouse shopping place, like Costco or Sam's Club. My wife and I save about 400-600 a month by shopping at Costco once a month and buying everything we need. Also the cheapest way to get the most diapers, and baby wipes.
And if you live near a Babies R' Us, sign up for their rewards thing, you get a series of coupons and such every week or so, one of which is a "20% off of whatever" coupon.
Also, when doing your baby registry, registry with a place that gives you a discount afterwards. Babies R' Us let us get 10% off of whatever was on list that was not bought by someone, which was nice.
Most of that is long term though. Short term, just be there for her, and be prepared for wacky cravings that will stop once the kid pops out.
You'll probably have an ultrasound around 8 weeks (well, your wife will, anyway), and if the doctors can find a good strong heartbeat then, your chance of miscarriage drops from about 20% to about 5%. My husband and I used this as our "when to tell" marker. We decided that if they found the heartbeat on that ultrasound, we'd call our parents when we got home and share the news. You may consider something similar. Of course, if they can't find it yet it doesn't mean you should panic, just that it wasn't showing up so early for whatever reason.
Let your wife eat whatever she appeals to her in the early stages. She may have stomach troubles, and it's better for her to eat something than worry about whether it's a balanced meal. I spent weeks 7-14 on grapes, dry cheerios, saltine crackers, and almonds. Encourage her to eat a little something though - many women have less stomach trouble if there's a little something in their stomachs than if they don't eat at all. Keep some crackers on the nightstand in the bedroom, and let her nibble at those. Do make sure she stays hydrated and drinks plenty of water.
Talk to your doctor about any concerns you might have, and talk to your doctor right away about his/her style and what you want for delivery. If your doctor only does C-sections and you want a vaginal birth (or vice versa) you need to find out right away. It's okay to change doctors! You don't have to go to one just because he/she was your wife's doctor before - take the time to talk to the doctor about what's important to you and make sure you're comfortable with him/her. Many doctors will schedule a pregnancy or pre-pregnancy consultation, where you can talk in an office instead of an exam room and discuss what you want. My husband and I did one of these when we decided to start trying, and I was glad we did. It let us feel like we got to know our OB and make sure we liked him and that there weren't any conflicts of interest. You are going to be seeing A LOT of this doctor (visits will be about every 4 weeks until the third trimester, then every 2, then every week after 36 weeks, usually), so it's really worth it to make sure this is someone you want to spend that much time with. Also look into your doctor's office hours and make sure they work for you and your wife. See if they have evening or weekend appointments if that's something you want, and ask if any of those appointments are reserved for pregnant women - there's no point in your doctor offering Saturday appointments if every single one of them is filled up six months in advance for regular gynecology exams.
Oh, and go with your wife to her appointments. She'll really appreciate that you're there.
Most of all, just try to be supportive, and good luck to both of you.
You silly goose, thanks for announcing this in H/A instead of in threads where people ACTUALLY TALK TO YOU ALL THE TIME (Yes I'm jealous, congratulations!)
As for the early stages, close to 25% of developing embryos do not develop properly and self-terminate within the first trimester. This has NOTHING to do with you, your wife, your life history, what she eats, or anything. It's simply individual molecules moving around on a very small scale and they don't always get the chemical gradients as exactly perfect as they need to be. This is why most people elect to keep it a secret until after the first doctor's appointment of the second trimester. As illirica pointed out, you can start telling family a little sooner so you can get some extra support systems going.
Edit: I just realized the above could sound contradictory relative to other people's advice. There are a lot of things you and your wife need to do to make sure you have a nice happy baby. However, those things usually don't affect whether or not the embryo forms properly within the first 3 months.
Congratulations again, good luck with everything!
Dropping Loads on
Sceptre: Penny Arcade, where you get starcraft AND marriage advice.
3clipse: The key to any successful marriage is a good mid-game transition.
Posts
I think my only advice is to make sure she's feeling comfortable and support her through the morning sickness, if she has any. And keep track of her cravings and aversions so you know what to buy and stay away from (though it sounds like you're doing it already)
Be prepared (summon all your patience) for your wife to be incredibly uncomfortable during the final month (possibly 2). Even just sitting up or sleeping will be a pain in the ass for her.
Prepare like crazy.
My wife is due in 3 1/2 weeks and a couple months ago I went out and purchased: 4xTrashbags (40 count) 2x of our shampoo, conditioner, toilet paper, toothpaste, dishwasher stuff, laundry detergent, dryer sheets and paper towel packages.
When you have a newborn, the last thing you will want to have to think about is 'oh crap, do we have this?'
You will want to be able to reach into the cabinet and pull out whatever you happen to need that moment. Plus, being prepared is good just because you'll be able to spend more time with your wife and child
congratulations and good luck to you!
teach it to play magic asap. that way he/she can be earning you 50k plus a year by age 11.
don't be so short sighted, golf or tennis will net you many times that once they get around 18, and are less likely to be ruined by hight/body type genes than football or basketball.
Congratulations! Enjoy this, and cherish it, because even if you have another nothing is ever the same as the your first pregnancy.
true but i KNOW jeffH knows how to play magic relatively well.
so you dont sink $x every year in lesson costs that may not come to fruition vs kid'll prolly wreck FNM's at the very least.
Don't eat deli meat
Don't eat hotdogs
Don't change cat litter
Watch caffeine intake
Don't suddenly start overeating (eating for two is a myth), but eat healthy
Be prepared for the weirdest cravings, and to only want to eat dessert
Don't buy a bunch of newborn size stuff, most babies will outgrow that stuff quick, and you'll probably get a ton of newborn clothes during the shower or just as gifts. We were much more appreciative of the next size stuff. I think our son wore newborn size for maybe a month.
Don't have your heart set on only breastfeeding as it may not be a possibility. Nothing wrong with formula, if it comes to that, though breast milk is preferable.
*chimes in*
Check out cloth diapers rather then disposables, you'll save a ton using cloth over nothing but disposables.
http://www.bumgenius.com/
Bum genius makes some awesome ones, definitely not cloth diapers of the past.
Not to say disposables aren't useful sometimes. They can be.
Beyond that though good luck!
Save Money!
of course finances are different for everyone, but if you aren't loaded, then do a budget. Find things that aren't necessities and cut them out or cut back. The extra cash you start saving now will disappear quickly when the little one shows up, but those monthly expenses cut out (cable tv, WoW subscription, hot new game of the week purchase, etc....) will help in the long run.
congrats
Steam
XBOX
On another note - Congrats and best of luck.
Bottom line, be prepared for postpartum depression. It is extremely rough.
...our families live about 5 hours away. I think you'll be alright. We still see ours several times a year, but it would be really nice to have a baby sitter every now and then.
But, in the event that the little guy comes out with a clean bill of health, and given your current intentions, my recommendation is to save a nice chunk of change. Having a baby is not cheap, and the hospital bills are annoying.
Be a steady rock when it comes to her emotions, my wife was an emotional wreck during her pregnancies, the second more than the first because of what happened.
Also, look into a membership to warehouse shopping place, like Costco or Sam's Club. My wife and I save about 400-600 a month by shopping at Costco once a month and buying everything we need. Also the cheapest way to get the most diapers, and baby wipes.
And if you live near a Babies R' Us, sign up for their rewards thing, you get a series of coupons and such every week or so, one of which is a "20% off of whatever" coupon.
Also, when doing your baby registry, registry with a place that gives you a discount afterwards. Babies R' Us let us get 10% off of whatever was on list that was not bought by someone, which was nice.
Most of that is long term though. Short term, just be there for her, and be prepared for wacky cravings that will stop once the kid pops out.
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Holy shit! Sony's new techno toy!
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Let your wife eat whatever she appeals to her in the early stages. She may have stomach troubles, and it's better for her to eat something than worry about whether it's a balanced meal. I spent weeks 7-14 on grapes, dry cheerios, saltine crackers, and almonds. Encourage her to eat a little something though - many women have less stomach trouble if there's a little something in their stomachs than if they don't eat at all. Keep some crackers on the nightstand in the bedroom, and let her nibble at those. Do make sure she stays hydrated and drinks plenty of water.
Talk to your doctor about any concerns you might have, and talk to your doctor right away about his/her style and what you want for delivery. If your doctor only does C-sections and you want a vaginal birth (or vice versa) you need to find out right away. It's okay to change doctors! You don't have to go to one just because he/she was your wife's doctor before - take the time to talk to the doctor about what's important to you and make sure you're comfortable with him/her. Many doctors will schedule a pregnancy or pre-pregnancy consultation, where you can talk in an office instead of an exam room and discuss what you want. My husband and I did one of these when we decided to start trying, and I was glad we did. It let us feel like we got to know our OB and make sure we liked him and that there weren't any conflicts of interest. You are going to be seeing A LOT of this doctor (visits will be about every 4 weeks until the third trimester, then every 2, then every week after 36 weeks, usually), so it's really worth it to make sure this is someone you want to spend that much time with. Also look into your doctor's office hours and make sure they work for you and your wife. See if they have evening or weekend appointments if that's something you want, and ask if any of those appointments are reserved for pregnant women - there's no point in your doctor offering Saturday appointments if every single one of them is filled up six months in advance for regular gynecology exams.
Oh, and go with your wife to her appointments. She'll really appreciate that you're there.
Most of all, just try to be supportive, and good luck to both of you.
As for the early stages, close to 25% of developing embryos do not develop properly and self-terminate within the first trimester. This has NOTHING to do with you, your wife, your life history, what she eats, or anything. It's simply individual molecules moving around on a very small scale and they don't always get the chemical gradients as exactly perfect as they need to be. This is why most people elect to keep it a secret until after the first doctor's appointment of the second trimester. As illirica pointed out, you can start telling family a little sooner so you can get some extra support systems going.
Edit: I just realized the above could sound contradictory relative to other people's advice. There are a lot of things you and your wife need to do to make sure you have a nice happy baby. However, those things usually don't affect whether or not the embryo forms properly within the first 3 months.
Congratulations again, good luck with everything!
3clipse: The key to any successful marriage is a good mid-game transition.