Opinions on my first webcomic?

BorderlineJD

Hey guys this is actually my first post on the forums. I'm 15 and I really want to start a weekly web comic this year. Any pro tips, advice, ideas, or comments are welcome! Here's my first comic, drawn with pencil, scanned, and then enhanced using photoshop.

http://img84.imageshack.us/i/borderlinemiracle3welle.jpg/

Thanks guys! ~Jesse DeNo

DMAC

Something in the URL for your image isn't working.

BorderlineJD

ok i'll try to fix it

The deed is done.

Nappuccino

try out img tags so we can see your art in the thread too.

[*img]www.url goes here.com/.jpg[*/img]

Only with out the *.

BorderlineJD

It seems my image link fails at being recognizable.

EDIT: Got it.

Enc

Off the top of my head, reading that I notice a disproportionate amount of title, signature, and non-comic text to the size of the comic. Notice that most major comics keep the comic name subtle and minimal as an afterthought. Penny Arcade keeps the comic title not even on the page (it's not often essential). With the amount of clutter, I paid more attention to it my first read than I did the actual content.

I'm no master artist, so I'll leave that for more educated instruction. I will comment on the fact your text font is unreadable. Go with something smoother. I shouldn't notice your font unless that is needed for the humor/clarity.

For the comedy, you should study up on how comedic theory works. There is a reason why so many successful gag comics are three panel. Because each panel serves a specific purpose. Panel one is the situation, two is the action and our expectations, and panel three is the unexpected punchline or absurdity that plays with our expectations.

In this instance:
Situation: Guy finds an Ipod add, is excited.
Action/Expectations: We discover that its a scam.
Punchline: Characters do something that breaks our expectations in an absurd or amusing fashion.

I'd suggest trying to rework this one down to three panels and see if you can improve it. While the reaction in panel four is accurate, we expect people to present that sort of reaction. It happens at our dinner table daily. While amusing in conversation, it will read like Garfield (tried and dated).

What else can you do to break this down? Maybe have the characters think its a terrible deal, but it turns out to be an awesome deal where he gets 3k or something. Like this comic:

Oh man, that shit is real. You don't expect this to be anything but Gabe being an ass, but it's true. And it's hilarious because we don't expect it... and its relevant.

Final note, avoid the two guys talking comic. You'll see this discussion on every "look at my comic" thread, but it is overdone. Everyone who starts a webcomic seems to start here. As you are looking for readers for your comic, try and write and produce something people haven't seen. New situations, new expectations, and new ways to break them.

If you have the will to work hard and keep going, you do better than 99% of webcomic guys who quit in the first few weeks. Learn to draw, learn to write, learn comedy theory. All of it takes a ton of effort, but if you spend that effort you'll be successful.

earthwormadam

Yeah, most of that advice rings true but beware the would have been better if it were more like this PA strip advice. It probably would be better if it were its own thing, which it really isn't right now, nor will it be if it is modeled after somethin else.