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Posts

  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Organichu wrote: »
    again, i reject the premise that every difference is a 'lie'. that's harsh language. if i post a black and white head shot and you meet me but i have rosacea, did i lie to you?

    or, how about this one

    willohgod.jpg

    to a casual observer, it might just seem like i'm intentionally looking to my left at what's over there- but in fact, i have a lazy eye. do i have to post a candid shot of me trying to stare ahead to 'be honest with you' about my lazy eye?

    middlefingers.jpg

    or here

    by not accentuating my lazy eye am i being a deceitful trickster?

    what i'm saying is that there is a lot of variance- pictures can make you look good, pictures can make you look bad. there are favorable angles or perspectives or filters, or whatever. that doesn't mean anything 'nasty' right off the bat. there certainly are situations where it can't really be chalked up to a misunderstanding- like if it's a 5 year old picture and you've literally doubled your bodyweight- but even then leaving someone standing alone in a restaurant is a shitty thing to do, IMO.

    strokes, folks, etc

    ...I think more people would be worried about the gun than the lazy eye, but I agree with your point.

    Fencingsax on
  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited July 2010
    8-)

    Organichu on
  • HachfaceHachface Not the Minister Farrakhan you're thinking of Dammit, Shepard!Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Fencingsax wrote: »
    ...I think more people would be worried about the gun than the lazy eye, but I agree with your point.

    The gun picture indeed makes Organichu look like a lunatic. However I tend to think that even though putting your most-likely-to-be-offputting characteristic upfront will probably will lead to a lower volume of messages, the messages you do get will have a higher success ratio.

    Hachface on
  • JoolanderJoolander Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    yyyyyyeeaaahh, probably dont wanna put that gun pic up on a dating site

    Joolander on
  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited July 2010
    i've had a lot of success on OKCupid (and i'm not a great looking dude), versus what seems to be the trend in these threads, so i mean i guess enough people are ok with it. i might replace it with a more subdued pic and make it like, my secondary photo. but it's served me pretty well so far.

    Organichu on
  • GungHoGungHo Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    I can't tell if you guys are more upset by the fact that he has a gun (period) or that he's pointing it at his damn head.

    GungHo on
  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited July 2010
    it's not pointed at my head, it's a trick of perspective.

    Organichu on
  • Dark_SideDark_Side Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    GungHo wrote: »
    I can't tell if you guys are more upset by the fact that he has a gun (period) or that he's pointing it at his damn head.

    Hey, at least whomever is holding it has good trigger control.

    Dark_Side on
  • Armored GorillaArmored Gorilla Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    If you're gonna set up a date, make it something fun. Something you enjoy. Then if you get someone who's not what you thought they would be, you can still have a good time.

    Armored Gorilla on
    "I'm a mad god. The Mad God, actually. It's a family title. Gets passed down from me to myself every few thousand years."
  • SpacemilkSpacemilk Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Seriously, there are people bitching about girls misrepresenting their weight, when barely 10 pages ago we had guys talking about lying about (excuse me, "artificially inflating") their height and income? Seriously?

    Spacemilk on
  • JoolanderJoolander Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    GungHo wrote: »
    I can't tell if you guys are more upset by the fact that he has a gun (period) or that he's pointing it at his damn head.

    definitely the "looks pointed at his head" thing

    ive got plenty of guns

    Joolander on
  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited July 2010
    Dark_Side wrote: »
    GungHo wrote: »
    I can't tell if you guys are more upset by the fact that he has a gun (period) or that he's pointing it at his damn head.

    Hey, at least whomever is holding it has good trigger control.

    it's me!

    it was initially done as a joke, like

    "at PAX East, irond will held a gun to my head and raped me!"

    but then i thought the pic was funny and it was the most recent one i had so i used it on okcupid and i've gotten lots of messages and a few dates and a few girls even mentioned it as the reason they contacted me

    so that worked out pretty well for me, i think

    Organichu on
  • GungHoGungHo Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Spacemilk wrote: »
    Seriously, there are people bitching about girls misrepresenting their weight, when barely 10 pages ago we had guys talking about lying about (excuse me, "artificially inflating") their height and income? Seriously?

    How about penis size?

    GungHo on
  • FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Joolander wrote: »
    GungHo wrote: »
    I can't tell if you guys are more upset by the fact that he has a gun (period) or that he's pointing it at his damn head.

    definitely the "looks pointed at his head" thing

    ive got plenty of guns

    Well yeah. I don't care he has guns. I care if he's threatened himself with them. Tends not to make the most stable of relationships.

    Fencingsax on
  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited July 2010
    guys this dating site asked for my penis size and i don't know the unicode for the infinite symbol, help me

    Organichu on
  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited July 2010
    most people recognize it as a joke immediately, but i realize it's not for everyone

    Organichu on
  • SpacemilkSpacemilk Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    GungHo wrote: »
    Spacemilk wrote: »
    Seriously, there are people bitching about girls misrepresenting their weight, when barely 10 pages ago we had guys talking about lying about (excuse me, "artificially inflating") their height and income? Seriously?

    How about penis size?
    TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE AND NOT ONLY WILL I NOT EVER BE FRIENDS WITH YOU, I WILL NEVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU OR EVEN SPEND SOME TIME HANGING OUT WITH YOU

    actually if i know the alleged size of a guy's penis BEFORE i meet him, i'm probably not actually going to meet him because that's some creepy stuff right there

    Spacemilk on
  • retrovmretrovm Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Organichu wrote: »
    most people recognize it as a joke immediately, but i realize it's not for everyone

    haha yeah it's pretty out there, but i'd definitely message you out of sheer curiosity!

    retrovm on
  • retrovmretrovm Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Spacemilk wrote: »
    Seriously, there are people bitching about girls misrepresenting their weight, when barely 10 pages ago we had guys talking about lying about (excuse me, "artificially inflating") their height and income? Seriously?

    THIS

    retrovm on
  • EggyToastEggyToast Jersey CityRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    retrovm wrote: »
    Shrug, my time is worth more than spending it with someone who has lied to me before we've even met. You're not taking into account how they might've hurt his feelings by doing that.

    Before I hear you screech... For the record, I would've stayed, but probably left early unless they were a wonderful conversationalist. And that is a supreme minority.

    Lesson: Don't lie about what you look like or fundamental parts of your personality. There are people for everyone.

    edit: Self centered? It is a person you don't know who lied to you. We're not shoving a nun out of the way to get a good seat on the bus.

    it's totally self-centred because it's all WAHH THIS PERSON LIED TO ME, I'LL SHOW THEM. they didn't deliberately set out to LIE to anyone, they just chose photos they thought were flattering, which might have been older/whatever amount of pounds ago. this is absurd. i'm not condoning that crap, but he should've been a decent person and hung out for an hour or whatever. and the followup fat jokes are just childish. get over it.

    I agree with you, and have gone through with "dates" with people who lied egregiously about their size. But you've also stated many times that you're happy just meeting to be friends, and aren't interested in serious, involved relationships at this point in your life. You've said that you're not really into serious-relationship-intimacy, which also means you're likely to give someone a chance to be friends. That's cool, mind, I'm just pointing out why I think you seem more offended than other people who think it's a dick move.

    Now, someone who is very much interested in a relationship, and their idea of committed relationship is moving in together because they love the idea of living together and sharing stuff, well, they're going to be more judgmental about obvious "dealbreakers." I'm sure Kali was feeling very anxious because a) he saw someone he knew he wouldn't want to be in a relationship with and bailed and then b) realized that once you do that, you can't go back, even if you realize right away that you just pulled a dick move.

    But I admit that when I met people who were much larger than stated, or uggos, or were otherwise people I would not want to look at across the breakfast table in the morning, I immediately felt the "relationship" part of my brain close off. And since I was meeting these people with the pretense that we could be in a relationship, I kind of lost interest in them as friends at the same time. I don't judge friends that way but I don't meet my friends on online dating sites.

    EggyToast on
    || Flickr — || PSN: EggyToast
  • ChillyWillyChillyWilly Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    retrovm wrote: »
    Shrug, my time is worth more than spending it with someone who has lied to me before we've even met. You're not taking into account how they might've hurt his feelings by doing that.

    Before I hear you screech... For the record, I would've stayed, but probably left early unless they were a wonderful conversationalist. And that is a supreme minority.

    Lesson: Don't lie about what you look like or fundamental parts of your personality. There are people for everyone.

    edit: Self centered? It is a person you don't know who lied to you. We're not shoving a nun out of the way to get a good seat on the bus.

    it's totally self-centred because it's all WAHH THIS PERSON LIED TO ME, I'LL SHOW THEM. they didn't deliberately set out to LIE to anyone, they just chose photos they thought were flattering, which might have been older/whatever amount of pounds ago. this is absurd. i'm not condoning that crap, but he should've been a decent person and hung out for an hour or whatever. and the followup fat jokes are just childish. get over it.

    My question is this: Why should he have to? Not to say that I personally wouldn't have (I would have and it seems just about everyone else would have, too), but what rule of "decency" says he has to stay for the date? He agreed to date one person and, by his account, another one showed up. What makes him bound to stay when he's been lied to, especially if (as Eggy pointed out), he was there for relationship only purposes? Who says he should have to date people that he doesn't feel attracted to?

    And also, you mention decency...what's decent about lying to someone before you even meet them face to face?

    ChillyWilly on
    PAFC Top 10 Finisher in Seasons 1 and 3. 2nd in Seasons 4 and 5. Final 4 in Season 6.
  • InfidelInfidel Heretic Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    This is not the strawman of oh hey look at that, it was vague and she turned out to be overweight, how shallow of me to bail.

    It's she represented herself as thin when she's not, and that's a lie. It is not truthful for me to say I weight 10 lbs, even though in my infancy there was a point that this was true.

    There is a reason the policy on pictures for dating sites is use recent. We do not have time machines, we are dating the current you. If you are not comfortable with the current you, I am not either.

    I've dated big girls before, because they were not hiding it from me.

    Infidel on
    OrokosPA.png
  • Armored GorillaArmored Gorilla Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Unless she specifically said 'I'm totally not fat', she didn't lie. You have to approach these things with good faith and assume they did the same. Flattering pics isn't the same as lying and if you're going to do the online thing, you better prepare for surprises.

    The odds are good, but the goods are odd.

    Armored Gorilla on
    "I'm a mad god. The Mad God, actually. It's a family title. Gets passed down from me to myself every few thousand years."
  • InfidelInfidel Heretic Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Also, anyone that has been in a relationship should know how well "I didn't technically lie" would go over.

    Infidel on
    OrokosPA.png
  • Armored GorillaArmored Gorilla Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    The problem is with the assumption that they are intentionally misleading you.

    Armored Gorilla on
    "I'm a mad god. The Mad God, actually. It's a family title. Gets passed down from me to myself every few thousand years."
  • JustinSane07JustinSane07 Really, stupid? Brockton__BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2010
    Spacemilk wrote: »
    Seriously, there are people bitching about girls misrepresenting their weight, when barely 10 pages ago we had guys talking about lying about (excuse me, "artificially inflating") their height and income? Seriously?

    Excuse me.

    I pointed out that I don't lie about my height, weight or income.

    So I can be judgemental!

    JustinSane07 on
  • HachfaceHachface Not the Minister Farrakhan you're thinking of Dammit, Shepard!Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Spacemilk wrote: »
    Seriously, there are people bitching about girls misrepresenting their weight, when barely 10 pages ago we had guys talking about lying about (excuse me, "artificially inflating") their height and income? Seriously?

    Excuse me.

    I pointed out that I don't lie about my height, weight or income.

    So I can be judgemental!

    Technically Justin is right about this one.:lol:

    Hachface on
  • InfidelInfidel Heretic Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    The problem is with the assumption that they are intentionally misleading you.

    No, as I have been discussing the situation where you have been intentionally misled.
    Infidel wrote: »
    I think intentionally misrepresenting yourself is a worse sin than panicking and bailing.

    Two wrongs yadda yadda.

    I don't mind if a girl has some extra pounds so long as she doesn't try to lie about it.

    And the difference between an actual lie and misleading someone is what I am addressing with the last post. People are going to get upset when you mislead them.

    Infidel on
    OrokosPA.png
  • ChillyWillyChillyWilly Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Infidel wrote: »
    This is not the strawman of oh hey look at that, it was vague and she turned out to be overweight, how shallow of me to bail.

    It's she represented herself as thin when she's not, and that's a lie. It is not truthful for me to say I weight 10 lbs, even though in my infancy there was a point that this was true.

    There is a reason the policy on pictures for dating sites is use recent. We do not have time machines, we are dating the current you. If you are not comfortable with the current you, I am not either.

    I've dated big girls before, because they were not hiding it from me.

    This. The issue here isn't that a bunch of guys on a forum hate big girls. The issue is that the person is lying about something because they (likely) have some self-esteem issues about it. That's cool. People have self-esteem problems about a myriad of things. But at the same time, you shouldn't be forcing other people to deal with your self-esteem problems on a first date. Be comfortable enough with yourself to be upfront or don't date until you are.

    ChillyWilly on
    PAFC Top 10 Finisher in Seasons 1 and 3. 2nd in Seasons 4 and 5. Final 4 in Season 6.
  • Evil GummyEvil Gummy Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    So, the ex is apparently moving on easily enough to another girl, and it made me realize that I guess it's time for me to try as well.


    All bitterness aside, after a few days of deep thought, I figured there was no harm and testing the waters and seeing what is out there. Since I'm living in a whole new place and all, it might even be nice to just have people who know the area be able to show me around.


    I think I need to show myself I can have fun with other people, too, so...


    Yay dating? :p


    On the conversation about ducking out on people who lie about how they look; I'm on the fence.

    On one hand, hey, if you are sure you won't be into them, I guess it makes sense...still a bit insensitive, though, I HATE liars and if a guy told me he looked a certain way and showed me photos that suggested as such..and in real life he did NOT fit this image..well...

    I would possibly want to sneak away, too. :/ Just saying. Save us both some time and awkwardness, maybe.

    Evil Gummy on
    hatsig.jpg
  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Evil Gummy wrote: »
    So, the ex is apparently moving on easily enough to another girl, and it made me realize that I guess it's time for me to try as well.


    All bitterness aside, after a few days of deep thought, I figured there was no harm and testing the waters and seeing what is out there. Since I'm living in a whole new place and all, it might even be nice to just have people who know the area be able to show me around.


    I think I need to show myself I can have fun with other people, too, so...


    Yay dating? :p

    That's how I felt after my breakup as well. I needed to go out and meet someone new, not to start dating again but just to know that there are other people for me out there.

    Richy on
    sig.gif
  • MelksterMelkster Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    She felt the need the put up pictures from a time when she weighed significantly less than she does now. It has been suggested that maybe she was too insecure and too ashamed to put up a recent photo. That's probably true.

    But you know what? A guy agreed to go out with her. And when he saw her, and saw that she misrepresented herself online and was much heavier than real life, he felt embarrassed and upset, so he left. I totally understand that reaction. I would be embarrassed and disappointed too.

    If you feel the need to misrepresent yourself online for whatever reason -- loneliness, insecurity, whatever -- you're setting yourself up for disappointment. If you say you're way taller than you are, or you say you make more money than you do, or you post photos from when you were thirty pounds less, you better be ready for people to bail on you. You better be prepared for people to not know what to do when they feel embarrassed or disappointed.

    I think it's unreasonable to jump all over this guy and call him a douche or an asshole or a pussy (which have all been used so far). At the worst, he was being impolite and let his emotions direct his decisions. Yeah, he could have sat down and had a conversation, then told her that he wasn't interested. He could have done a dozen things that involved him talking to her. But she was the one who misrepresented herself.

    You reap what you sow. If you don't want that to happen to you, don't misrepresent yourself. Post accurate pictures. Post accurate details. It's simple.

    Melkster on
  • retrovmretrovm Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    EggyToast wrote: »
    retrovm wrote: »
    Shrug, my time is worth more than spending it with someone who has lied to me before we've even met. You're not taking into account how they might've hurt his feelings by doing that.

    Before I hear you screech... For the record, I would've stayed, but probably left early unless they were a wonderful conversationalist. And that is a supreme minority.

    Lesson: Don't lie about what you look like or fundamental parts of your personality. There are people for everyone.

    edit: Self centered? It is a person you don't know who lied to you. We're not shoving a nun out of the way to get a good seat on the bus.

    it's totally self-centred because it's all WAHH THIS PERSON LIED TO ME, I'LL SHOW THEM. they didn't deliberately set out to LIE to anyone, they just chose photos they thought were flattering, which might have been older/whatever amount of pounds ago. this is absurd. i'm not condoning that crap, but he should've been a decent person and hung out for an hour or whatever. and the followup fat jokes are just childish. get over it.

    I agree with you, and have gone through with "dates" with people who lied egregiously about their size. But you've also stated many times that you're happy just meeting to be friends, and aren't interested in serious, involved relationships at this point in your life. You've said that you're not really into serious-relationship-intimacy, which also means you're likely to give someone a chance to be friends. That's cool, mind, I'm just pointing out why I think you seem more offended than other people who think it's a dick move.

    Now, someone who is very much interested in a relationship, and their idea of committed relationship is moving in together because they love the idea of living together and sharing stuff, well, they're going to be more judgmental about obvious "dealbreakers." I'm sure Kali was feeling very anxious because a) he saw someone he knew he wouldn't want to be in a relationship with and bailed and then b) realized that once you do that, you can't go back, even if you realize right away that you just pulled a dick move.

    But I admit that when I met people who were much larger than stated, or uggos, or were otherwise people I would not want to look at across the breakfast table in the morning, I immediately felt the "relationship" part of my brain close off. And since I was meeting these people with the pretense that we could be in a relationship, I kind of lost interest in them as friends at the same time. I don't judge friends that way but I don't meet my friends on online dating sites.

    yeah, i gotcha. i'm very non-relationship minded and never really have been but i'm also not closed off to the idea of one sort of presenting itself, you know? like, i understand where the original poster was coming from in his panic moment; we're all human after all, but the point still stands it's sort of rude. his "deep fried marsbar" joke after it was just uncalled for; people put on weight for all kinds of reasons, medical shit, health problems, who the hell knows.
    my bottom line is that it's just rude to exchange messages with someone, set up a time to meet, and then ditch out at the last possible second. that's really all i was trying to say then it went into this whole "well they deliberately lied to me wah wah" nonsense.

    retrovm on
  • ArlingtonArlington Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Spacemilk wrote: »
    GungHo wrote: »
    Spacemilk wrote: »
    Seriously, there are people bitching about girls misrepresenting their weight, when barely 10 pages ago we had guys talking about lying about (excuse me, "artificially inflating") their height and income? Seriously?

    How about penis size?
    TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE AND NOT ONLY WILL I NOT EVER BE FRIENDS WITH YOU, I WILL NEVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU OR EVEN SPEND SOME TIME HANGING OUT WITH YOU

    actually if i know the alleged size of a guy's penis BEFORE i meet him, i'm probably not actually going to meet him because that's some creepy stuff right there

    Yeah I'm going to have to ask you to delete that PM from me before viewing any pictures it may or may not contain.
    __________

    A lot of people have ummm interesting internal concepts of their body image. A lot of other people take pictures that look nothing like them. Or look like different people in different pictures.

    Treating the first date as a blind date (purely for the physical side of things) is probably a pretty good attitude to have.

    ________________

    I'm also really starting to get concerned that this thread is heading towards a gender thread shit-storm ><.

    Arlington on
  • EggyToastEggyToast Jersey CityRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    I think weight gets a bad rap because it's the first thing you see about someone. I don't think it's that different from putting in your profile "I am a devout christian" and then when you meet someone (who likes you because you say you're devout) you're dressed in black and you say "Oh I became an atheist a year ago, just never updated my profile." They're going to wish they could have bailed before saying hello.

    The thing that makes bailing on someone so tough is that if you KNEW, you wouldn't have the date in the first place. Standing someone up is rude (cut out and send a text or make a phone call saying that something came up with your dog, or whatever -- is that less rude to lie?) but I'm not sure it's less rude than having a buddy play "backup emergency." I know a guy who has maintained an OKCupid and Match.com account for a couple years and has met a fair number of women, but for the first meeting he always has a buddy set up that he can text something like "bail" and the buddy will call him and ask if he can pick him up at the airport. Is that slimier, having an escape plan?

    EggyToast on
    || Flickr — || PSN: EggyToast
  • webguy20webguy20 I spend too much time on the Internet Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Its OK to not want to hang out with the person if they misrepresented themselves. Don't just disappear though, that's being a dick. Say hi, end the date early, whatever. Be the better person.

    webguy20 on
    Steam ID: Webguy20
    Origin ID: Discgolfer27
    Untappd ID: Discgolfer1981
  • retrovmretrovm Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Melkster wrote: »
    She felt the need the put up pictures from a time when she weighed significantly less than she does now. It has been suggested that maybe she was too insecure and too ashamed to put up a recent photo. That's probably true.

    But you know what? A guy agreed to go out with her. And when he saw her, and saw that she misrepresented herself online and was much heavier than real life, he felt embarrassed and upset, so he left. I totally understand that reaction. I would be embarrassed and disappointed too.

    If you feel the need to misrepresent yourself online for whatever reason -- loneliness, insecurity, whatever -- you're setting yourself up for disappointment. If you say you're way taller than you are, or you say you make more money than you do, or you post photos from when you were thirty pounds less, you better be ready for people to bail on you. You better be prepared for people to not know what to do when they feel embarrassed or disappointed.

    I think it's unreasonable to jump all over this guy and call him a douche or an asshole or a pussy (which have all been used so far). At the worst, he was being impolite and let his emotions direct his decisions. Yeah, he could have sat down and had a conversation, then told her that he wasn't interested. He could have done a dozen things that involved him talking to her. But she was the one who misrepresented herself.

    You reap what you sow. If you don't want that to happen to you, don't misrepresent yourself. Post accurate pictures. Post accurate details. It's simple.

    all totally fair, and apologies for jumping on him. i'm sensitive about that kind of stuff because, well, i've seen it happen to heavier girlfriends/guy friends of mine and it just sucks, online dating or not. i didn't directly call him a pussy, it's just a weak move; i don't know the guy!
    then again i also don't misrepresent myself online looks or personality-wise, so i haven't had this happen to me, but i can't imagine it being very pleasant. if anything i should upload some newer photos as i've dropped pounds since some of those photos were taken. aha.

    retrovm on
  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Spacemilk wrote: »
    Seriously, there are people bitching about girls misrepresenting their weight, when barely 10 pages ago we had guys talking about lying about (excuse me, "artificially inflating") their height and income? Seriously?
    [/QUOTE]

    I missed that, and I would agree that would be hypocritical if they were now portraying this woman in a poor light.

    However, there is a sliding scale of deception, or padding their resume, what have you. I think everyone expects that to happen in the text of the profile to some degree, mostly through omission.

    But even in the more concrete descriptions, increasing your height from 5'11'' to 6'0'' is very different from describing yourself(and using pictures) as average, and being significantly overweight. The same would be true if, for whatever reason, pictures showed a slim person, and what you saw was someone who was approaching Amy Winehouse-skinny, or the person suddenly had a ton of piercings when you met in real life.

    Septus on
    PSN: Kurahoshi1
  • retrovmretrovm Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    EggyToast wrote: »
    I think weight gets a bad rap because it's the first thing you see about someone. I don't think it's that different from putting in your profile "I am a devout christian" and then when you meet someone (who likes you because you say you're devout) you're dressed in black and you say "Oh I became an atheist a year ago, just never updated my profile." They're going to wish they could have bailed before saying hello.

    The thing that makes bailing on someone so tough is that if you KNEW, you wouldn't have the date in the first place. Standing someone up is rude (cut out and send a text or make a phone call saying that something came up with your dog, or whatever -- is that less rude to lie?) but I'm not sure it's less rude than having a buddy play "backup emergency." I know a guy who has maintained an OKCupid and Match.com account for a couple years and has met a fair number of women, but for the first meeting he always has a buddy set up that he can text something like "bail" and the buddy will call him and ask if he can pick him up at the airport. Is that slimier, having an escape plan?

    having an escape plan is something i do, but i feel a lot of girls do that simply because there's sort of a stigma about women meeting guys from the ~internet~ for dates; i only use it if the date is REALLY bad, not like.. if the guy is boring. i can generally get myself out of situations i don't want to be in pretty easily, but i at least try to give the dude the benefit of the doubt. who knows, maybe they're nervous! as women, we're sort of taught to assume every guy online is some kind of axe murderer rapist out to get us.

    retrovm on
  • LadyMLadyM Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    I dunno, if I were headed out on a date with a guy and he had grown a beard since he took his profile pictures (God I hate beards), I would probably sit through a quick date with him. As for the situation with this girl, surely he could've at least called or texted her and made up an excuse instead of just leaving her sitting there?

    On to other matters . . . I'm moving a couple hundred miles in a month, should I start an OKCupid profile now or wait until I've actually moved? You get more hits when your profile's new, right?

    Now begins the quest to think up a cool username . . .

    LadyM on
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