Its OK to not want to hang out with the person if they misrepresented themselves. Don't just disappear though, that's being a dick. Say hi, end the date early, whatever. Be the better person.
On to other matters . . . I'm moving a couple hundred miles in a month, should I start an OKCupid profile now or wait until I've actually moved? You get more hits when your profile's new, right?
Just set your location to where you'll be moving to. The site doesn't verify your locale by IP or anything. If you really want to, you can even mention in your profile that you're not in the area yet, but will be there in August (or whenever) and are looking for fun people/dating/whatever.
Forar on
First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
I dunno, if I were headed out on a date with a guy and he had grown a beard since he took his profile pictures (God I hate beards), I would probably sit through a quick date with him. As for the situation with this girl, surely he could've at least called or texted her and made up an excuse instead of just leaving her sitting there?
On to other matters . . . I'm moving a couple hundred miles in a month, should I start an OKCupid profile now or wait until I've actually moved? You get more hits when your profile's new, right?
Now begins the quest to think up a cool username . . .
i'd probably wait until you've moved to make an account, that way you can also use it and perhaps make new friends in the area too. welcome to the hilariously awful world of internet dating!
I don't care about the bachelorette, in fact, I thought the article was quite good but I felt annoyed they had to keep using examples from that stupid show.
Bored at work, eh? Well here you go. Just gonna leave that... right... there.
Nice guy persecution syndrome is a thing. It is the sad sacks that are affected and nothing will convince them they aren't perfect and it is the women & "jerks" that are the real problem. When really, they are just some creepy motherfuckers.
For latecomers, we had this argument last thread when a guy had done all these MIND NUMBINGLY NICE THINGS for a girl and she made out with a "douchebag in a bar". How horrible for her not to sex him up for his substitution of a personality with over the top gestures when they barely knew each other.
It's kind of like one sided prostitution only they hope that holding a pretty strangers hand when they are sick will replace money... when really most people find other people having wants, desires and dreams sexy.
edit: Jezebel nailed it completely w/ the part about finding out what a person really likes versus doing cliche romantic things without taking them into account.
If you are not comfortable with the current you, I am not either.
This.
Seconded. This is also why ended up taking previously mentioned recent date back to my place. She was extremely confident and comfortable with herself, and that's downright sexy.
Mercutio87 on
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OnTheLastCastlelet's keep it haimish for the peripateticRegistered Userregular
edited July 2010
Their philosophy is kind of funny (but mostly sad) until you realize they are really treating women like whores. They tot up all these things that they do like they are balancing the scale to get the girl while the "jerks" don't.
That is now how relationships work. I don't keep track of whether or not I give my partner (or friend) a hug, take them to a fancy spontaneous dinner or rent their favorite movie when they're sick. You just both do it.
Or, alternately, you get in a relationship when there is chemistry and mutual attraction. Not because you ran down a checklist of things to do for someone until they give in. In a way, these guys are really shortchanging themselves there too to feel like they have to do all this stuff before someone will genuinely like them.
OnTheLastCastle on
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OnTheLastCastlelet's keep it haimish for the peripateticRegistered Userregular
If you are not comfortable with the current you, I am not either.
This.
Seconded. This is also why ended up taking previously mentioned recent date back to my place. She was extremely confident and comfortable with herself, and that's downright sexy.
Seriously, there are people bitching about girls misrepresenting their weight, when barely 10 pages ago we had guys talking about lying about (excuse me, "artificially inflating") their height and income? Seriously?
How about penis size?
TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE AND NOT ONLY WILL I NOT EVER BE FRIENDS WITH YOU, I WILL NEVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU OR EVEN SPEND SOME TIME HANGING OUT WITH YOU
actually if i know the alleged size of a guy's penis BEFORE i meet him, i'm probably not actually going to meet him because that's some creepy stuff right there
Guess I'll have to change my OKC profile name from 12 Inch Joe.
If you are not comfortable with the current you, I am not either.
This.
Seconded. This is also why ended up taking previously mentioned recent date back to my place. She was extremely confident and comfortable with herself, and that's downright sexy.
Agree!
The big girls I know that get some, it's all about confidence. Confidence is entirely what I find sexy as well.
It almost made me cringe when I answered some questions publicly on OKC recently and it asked the one "are you looking for someone to complete you or not" type question. I'm totally not what you're looking for there, I like independence and an independent partner. If you're not functional on your own, the relationship will be disfunctional imo, and it's a big turnoff.
I cannot recall the exact wording of that question but it was not just the romantic notion but something that I found offensive really. :?
Seriously, there are people bitching about girls misrepresenting their weight, when barely 10 pages ago we had guys talking about lying about (excuse me, "artificially inflating") their height and income? Seriously?
How about penis size?
TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE AND NOT ONLY WILL I NOT EVER BE FRIENDS WITH YOU, I WILL NEVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU OR EVEN SPEND SOME TIME HANGING OUT WITH YOU
actually if i know the alleged size of a guy's penis BEFORE i meet him, i'm probably not actually going to meet him because that's some creepy stuff right there
Guess I'll have to change my OKC profile name from 12 Inch Joe.
If you are not comfortable with the current you, I am not either.
This.
Seconded. This is also why ended up taking previously mentioned recent date back to my place. She was extremely confident and comfortable with herself, and that's downright sexy.
Agree!
The big girls I know that get some, it's all about confidence. Confidence is entirely what I find sexy as well.
It almost made me cringe when I answered some questions publicly on OKC recently and it asked the one "are you looking for someone to complete you or not" type question. I'm totally not what you're looking for there, I like independence and an independent partner. If you're not functional on your own, the relationship will be disfunctional imo, and it's a big turnoff.
I cannot recall the exact wording of that question but it was not just the romantic notion but something that I found offensive really. :?
Heh. Two new messages today. One from a 95% match who asked me if I play StarCraft 2 (SCORE) ...
... And another from a 75% match who got the spelling question wrong and thinks the government should ban the burning of the flag -- and who is dating for someone to raise children. No thanks. He's really cute, though.
so did you guys have an experience that was really, i guess, front loaded?
i got 5 messages in the first few days of signing up, but haven't gotten any in weeks and have lost interest since.
Lucky- I've not gotten a single message from anyone other than the creator of the site. Now, I also acknowledge that this is partly my fault because I haven't messaged anyone either.
Guys can't really afford to wait to be messaged. I'm pretty sure girls that get a lot of messages tend to not bother looking, let alone sending first messages. You might luck out but it pays to at least find your top picks and message them before you sit back and wait.
Zek on
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NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited July 2010
Yep... and, while I intellectually understand that i've always been hesitant to ask- I was hoping the anonymity of the internet would help out with that but seems like its just a high wall for me to climb in general.
hah, only one person i've messaged has responded strangely. though I was messaging a lot of older women mostly.
one person kept creeping my profile, there were at least 3 separate times that I saw a visit. When I messaged her there was no response. this whole thing is really a silly game. well at least it makes more sense if you view it as such
hah, only one person i've messaged has responded strangely. though I was messaging a lot of older women mostly.
one person kept creeping my profile, there were at least 3 separate times that I saw a visit. When I messaged her there was no response. this whole thing is really a silly game. well at least it makes more sense if you view it as such
and that, right there, is why i always browse privately
i don't want to be stuck reading a lot into someone else's actions and i certainly don't want someone else to do that to me
i guess it's hard for me to imagine worrying what people on this site think about me. [edit: 'people on this site' sounds derogatory but obviously i am a person who uses this site so it ain't like that] I think the most reasonable response would be to assume that this person is shy if she's been looking at the page several times so I might as well just give it a shot.
remember; the worst thing that happens here is that you either don't get a response or, if youre the person, you get a message from the person youve crept and promptly delete it. have a nice life, folks
Bored at work, eh? Well here you go. Just gonna leave that... right... there.
Nice guy persecution syndrome is a thing. It is the sad sacks that are affected and nothing will convince them they aren't perfect and it is the women & "jerks" that are the real problem. When really, they are just some creepy motherfuckers.
For latecomers, we had this argument last thread when a guy had done all these MIND NUMBINGLY NICE THINGS for a girl and she made out with a "douchebag in a bar". How horrible for her not to sex him up for his substitution of a personality with over the top gestures when they barely knew each other.
It's kind of like one sided prostitution only they hope that holding a pretty strangers hand when they are sick will replace money... when really most people find other people having wants, desires and dreams sexy.
edit: Jezebel nailed it completely w/ the part about finding out what a person really likes versus doing cliche romantic things without taking them into account.
You really don't know when to give up, do you? I'm really sick and fucking tired of your constant bullshit about me. I walked away from the last argument and yet, here you are, still pushing. Fucking drop it and fuck off already.
I've always had a problem with the "You just need to have confidence in who you are" bit because it's not something you can just go and do.
Sure, this is true. But, if you work at self improvement, whether it is working out, learning new skills, going to school, getting a better job, whatever, it will help you out.
This may be going to extreme, but if you aren't feeling good about yourself, it may not even be wise for you to be attempting to date or be on a dating website. Lack of confidence, or even worse, desperation, is like romance kryptonite.
Bored at work, eh? Well here you go. Just gonna leave that... right... there.
Nice guy persecution syndrome is a thing. It is the sad sacks that are affected and nothing will convince them they aren't perfect and it is the women & "jerks" that are the real problem. When really, they are just some creepy motherfuckers.
For latecomers, we had this argument last thread when a guy had done all these MIND NUMBINGLY NICE THINGS for a girl and she made out with a "douchebag in a bar". How horrible for her not to sex him up for his substitution of a personality with over the top gestures when they barely knew each other.
It's kind of like one sided prostitution only they hope that holding a pretty strangers hand when they are sick will replace money... when really most people find other people having wants, desires and dreams sexy.
edit: Jezebel nailed it completely w/ the part about finding out what a person really likes versus doing cliche romantic things without taking them into account.
You really don't know when to give up, do you? I'm really sick and fucking tired of your constant bullshit about me. I walked away from the last argument and yet, here you are, still pushing. Fucking drop it and fuck off already.
oh my god what the hell are you on about? he didn't say ANYTHING about you there. chill the fuck out.
I've always had a problem with the "You just need to have confidence in who you are" bit because it's not something you can just go and do.
Sure, this is true. But, if you work at self improvement, whether it is working out, learning new skills, going to school, getting a better job, whatever, it will help you out.
This may be going to extreme, but if you aren't feeling good about yourself, it may not even be wise for you to be attempting to date or be on a dating website. Lack of confidence, or even worse, desperation, is like romance kryptonite.
people can smell desperation from a mile away, and it is a baaaaad cologne. but generally if you're feeling shitty about yourself, trying to fix it by being in a relationship or dating someone won't help at all, it will just prolong the inevitable and unload a ton of baggage onto that other person.
Posts
:^: Seriously, I don't think is that complicated.
Just set your location to where you'll be moving to. The site doesn't verify your locale by IP or anything. If you really want to, you can even mention in your profile that you're not in the area yet, but will be there in August (or whenever) and are looking for fun people/dating/whatever.
i'd probably wait until you've moved to make an account, that way you can also use it and perhaps make new friends in the area too. welcome to the hilariously awful world of internet dating!
Oh... wait... carry on.
ITT: Forar is bored at work.
Like I need more reasons to ignore The Bachelor / Bachelorette?
seriously, the eye-syphilis was enough
Yeah Iwaitwhat?
Yeah uh eye syphilis whaaaaa?
Nice guy persecution syndrome is a thing. It is the sad sacks that are affected and nothing will convince them they aren't perfect and it is the women & "jerks" that are the real problem. When really, they are just some creepy motherfuckers.
For latecomers, we had this argument last thread when a guy had done all these MIND NUMBINGLY NICE THINGS for a girl and she made out with a "douchebag in a bar". How horrible for her not to sex him up for his substitution of a personality with over the top gestures when they barely knew each other.
It's kind of like one sided prostitution only they hope that holding a pretty strangers hand when they are sick will replace money... when really most people find other people having wants, desires and dreams sexy.
edit: Jezebel nailed it completely w/ the part about finding out what a person really likes versus doing cliche romantic things without taking them into account.
It was... interesting.
Seconded. This is also why ended up taking previously mentioned recent date back to my place. She was extremely confident and comfortable with herself, and that's downright sexy.
That is now how relationships work. I don't keep track of whether or not I give my partner (or friend) a hug, take them to a fancy spontaneous dinner or rent their favorite movie when they're sick. You just both do it.
Or, alternately, you get in a relationship when there is chemistry and mutual attraction. Not because you ran down a checklist of things to do for someone until they give in. In a way, these guys are really shortchanging themselves there too to feel like they have to do all this stuff before someone will genuinely like them.
Agree!
Guess I'll have to change my OKC profile name from 12 Inch Joe.
The big girls I know that get some, it's all about confidence. Confidence is entirely what I find sexy as well.
It almost made me cringe when I answered some questions publicly on OKC recently and it asked the one "are you looking for someone to complete you or not" type question.
I cannot recall the exact wording of that question but it was not just the romantic notion but something that I found offensive really. :?
Or swap the G and H :winky:
Yeah, I had the same reaction to that question.
i got 5 messages in the first few days of signing up, but haven't gotten any in weeks and have lost interest since.
The key is to make a new account every week so you look like you're new to this
You gotta get out there and hustle hustle hustle. Coffee is for closers only: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-AXTx4PcKI
As was said in the last page or so, keep making minor edits to your profile so you pop up in people's feeds.
... And another from a 75% match who got the spelling question wrong and thinks the government should ban the burning of the flag -- and who is dating for someone to raise children. No thanks. He's really cute, though.
She beat my estimated time by 4 hours.
Not getting back into things (too much of a roller coaster, etc, etc). But we both got a degree of closure.
And I got to experience what being on the opposite side of a "reading too much into nothing" freak-out like I used to have is like.
On the other hand, it's not something which anyone else can do for you.
It's something you have to work at. But like most things which require effort, it's worth it.
once again, this man has all the answers
how very zen of you, Dr. Campbell
Lucky- I've not gotten a single message from anyone other than the creator of the site. Now, I also acknowledge that this is partly my fault because I haven't messaged anyone either.
I'm bad at this whole dating thing
one person kept creeping my profile, there were at least 3 separate times that I saw a visit. When I messaged her there was no response. this whole thing is really a silly game. well at least it makes more sense if you view it as such
i don't want to be stuck reading a lot into someone else's actions and i certainly don't want someone else to do that to me
remember; the worst thing that happens here is that you either don't get a response or, if youre the person, you get a message from the person youve crept and promptly delete it. have a nice life, folks
You really don't know when to give up, do you? I'm really sick and fucking tired of your constant bullshit about me. I walked away from the last argument and yet, here you are, still pushing. Fucking drop it and fuck off already.
Sure, this is true. But, if you work at self improvement, whether it is working out, learning new skills, going to school, getting a better job, whatever, it will help you out.
This may be going to extreme, but if you aren't feeling good about yourself, it may not even be wise for you to be attempting to date or be on a dating website. Lack of confidence, or even worse, desperation, is like romance kryptonite.
oh my god what the hell are you on about? he didn't say ANYTHING about you there. chill the fuck out.
people can smell desperation from a mile away, and it is a baaaaad cologne. but generally if you're feeling shitty about yourself, trying to fix it by being in a relationship or dating someone won't help at all, it will just prolong the inevitable and unload a ton of baggage onto that other person.