Word of advice :
Do not tell a girl you poisoned her drink after she refuses to drink it, even if it is a joke, she will legitimately think she was correct by not drinking it, thus make you look like a douche.
Which i have done, during a movie.. Never seen her again.
So we get stiff once in a while. So we have a little fun. What’s wrong with that? This is a free country, isn’t it? I can take my panda any place I want to. And if I wanna buy it a drink, that’s my business.
It was during a movie, so perhaps she wasn't thirsty? Or didn't want cooties. But yeah, that's like saying "That's cool, I can still harvest your kidneys after the movie."
re: messaging someone after a short pause: You can totally do this, but just like normal dating you don't really bring up the other people. Not only is that tacky, but yeah, it says "you're the backup." Just say you got super busy with work and you're sorry you couldn't write back, but you were planning on asking her for a date and you figured it would be worse to flake if you had actual plans.
re: full inbox: Don't worry about it. Most likely this person is not actually using their account, or responding to people. If you can't message someone, just take it as a sign that the person's a lost cause.
NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited August 2010
I would only pull the "i poisoned your drink" on one of my best friends. And something like "yeah, thats probably for the best- I think I poisoned it on accident."
Here is a picture of me that I took this morning, fresh from the bathroom, clean shaven and all. It's pretty much "as good as it gets" from a look-point of view, angle and lightning are shit of course.
I'm afraid it shows off my bad attributes rather than my good ones - Eyes and nose that is.
You're so close to a smile...so close! haha. Actually, I like your eyes. Also, +1 on the glasses. Good style for you.
I tried smiling but it either looked fake or like a scowl. :?
Also I chose the glasses specifically because they make my eyes look a bit smaller. Usually they look HUGE and black. My Ex said she was afraid to look me in the eyes when we first met. But I'm glad it works, thank you.
Ferrus on
I would like to pause for a moment, to talk about my penis.
My penis is like a toddler. A toddler—who is a perfectly normal size for his age—on a long road trip to what he thinks is Disney World. My penis is excited because he hasn’t been to Disney World in a long, long time, but remembers a time when he used to go every day. So now the penis toddler is constantly fidgeting, whining “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now? Now? How about... now?”
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
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NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
Here is a picture of me that I took this morning, fresh from the bathroom, clean shaven and all. It's pretty much "as good as it gets" from a look-point of view, angle and lightning are shit of course.
I'm afraid it shows off my bad attributes rather than my good ones - Eyes and nose that is.
You're so close to a smile...so close! haha. Actually, I like your eyes. Also, +1 on the glasses. Good style for you.
I tried smiling but it either looked fake or like a scowl. :?
Watch your favorite comedian and either film yourself and take out a single frame or try to get a good picture of you smiling/ laughing.
Hmn, it's a very funny thing. I'm getting messaged by people who seem interesting, and a few of them are certainly cute, and yet while it is clear they want to meet... the idea frightens me.
This is new, I am not normally scared of meeting new people. I guess it's because I've never dated traditionally, so they idea of meeting someone face to face for the first time with the under current of 'will they like me, will I like them, what happens now?' is...
I would only pull the "i poisoned your drink" on one of my best friends. And something like "yeah, thats probably for the best- I think I poisoned it on accident."
A friend of mine went on a date with a girl once who put an empty plastic capsule in his drink when he wasn't looking.
Any girl who makes roofie jokes on a first date is a keeper I told him, but I don't think it ever went anywhere between them.
edit: Gummy, you gotta remember that you're using a dating website, the eventual goal is to meet someone in person, hopefully someone who will love you and let you rub your genitals together.
It can certainly be intimidating at first, but it helps if you make your first meeting a "casual" activity (like an easy lunch somewhere, or a museum or something) as opposed to a stereotypical "date" environment (dinner somewhere, a movie, drinks at a bar).
I would only pull the "i poisoned your drink" on one of my best friends. And something like "yeah, thats probably for the best- I think I poisoned it on accident."
A friend of mine went on a date with a girl once who put an empty plastic capsule in his drink when he wasn't looking.
Any girl who makes roofie jokes on a first date is a keeper I told him, but I don't think it ever went anywhere between them.
edit: Gummy, you gotta remember that you're using a dating website, the eventual goal is to meet someone in person, hopefully someone who will love you and let you rub your genitals together.
It can certainly be intimidating at first, but it helps if you make your first meeting a "casual" activity (like an easy lunch somewhere, or a museum or something) as opposed to a stereotypical "date" environment (dinner somewhere, a movie, drinks at a bar).
I would just like to say that a museum is a great idea for a meetup or first date. It's nice because you can wander together, you can wander separately and then draw the person's attention to something you find interesting, there's plenty of fodder for conversation, and usually there's a café or something if you want to sit and talk afterward. Now, if I could just get more museum dates. :-P
I would only pull the "i poisoned your drink" on one of my best friends. And something like "yeah, thats probably for the best- I think I poisoned it on accident."
A friend of mine went on a date with a girl once who put an empty plastic capsule in his drink when he wasn't looking.
Any girl who makes roofie jokes on a first date is a keeper I told him, but I don't think it ever went anywhere between them.
edit: Gummy, you gotta remember that you're using a dating website, the eventual goal is to meet someone in person, hopefully someone who will love you and let you rub your genitals together.
It can certainly be intimidating at first, but it helps if you make your first meeting a "casual" activity (like an easy lunch somewhere, or a museum or something) as opposed to a stereotypical "date" environment (dinner somewhere, a movie, drinks at a bar).
I would just like to say that a museum is a great idea for a meetup or first date. It's nice because you can wander together, you can wander separately and then draw the person's attention to something you find interesting, there's plenty of fodder for conversation, and usually there's a café or something if you want to sit and talk afterward. Now, if I could just get more museum dates. :-P
NappuccinoSurveyor of Things and StuffRegistered Userregular
edited August 2010
Some of my most fun memories are rooted in just browsing Walgreens and joking/laughing about certain products. Like AssKreme- because spelling it with the "Kreme" makes it classy.
Anything different is a good date, imo. You can even take a date to ikea, if you can have fun with it(which isn't hard).
That's a pretty great idea. That way you can see what kind of taste the other person has.
Not that Ikea stuff is specifically classy or anything but there is lots of things to talk about and disagree about that keeps the conversation going.
Ferrus on
I would like to pause for a moment, to talk about my penis.
My penis is like a toddler. A toddler—who is a perfectly normal size for his age—on a long road trip to what he thinks is Disney World. My penis is excited because he hasn’t been to Disney World in a long, long time, but remembers a time when he used to go every day. So now the penis toddler is constantly fidgeting, whining “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now? Now? How about... now?”
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
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OnTheLastCastlelet's keep it haimish for the peripateticRegistered Userregular
edited August 2010
I took a girl to a bird/mammal museum. It's at our local university. Midway through she asks me "So... you really like taxidermy, huh?" and I freeze. I can only imagine the horrible look on my face when she started laughing and damn, she got me good.
Getting messages from this girl I'm actually interested in. She lists my town but in reality lives an hour and 20 minutes away. It's a small town and she wants a bigger dating pool or something. Grumble. Mumble.
I would only pull the "i poisoned your drink" on one of my best friends. And something like "yeah, thats probably for the best- I think I poisoned it on accident."
A friend of mine went on a date with a girl once who put an empty plastic capsule in his drink when he wasn't looking.
Any girl who makes roofie jokes on a first date is a keeper I told him, but I don't think it ever went anywhere between them.
edit: Gummy, you gotta remember that you're using a dating website, the eventual goal is to meet someone in person, hopefully someone who will love you and let you rub your genitals together.
It can certainly be intimidating at first, but it helps if you make your first meeting a "casual" activity (like an easy lunch somewhere, or a museum or something) as opposed to a stereotypical "date" environment (dinner somewhere, a movie, drinks at a bar).
I would just like to say that a museum is a great idea for a meetup or first date. It's nice because you can wander together, you can wander separately and then draw the person's attention to something you find interesting, there's plenty of fodder for conversation, and usually there's a café or something if you want to sit and talk afterward. Now, if I could just get more museum dates. :-P
That is brilliant
I purchased a yearly membership to both the High Museum of Art and the Georgia Aquarium for myself. They both had add-ons for a Guest Pass and they both make for some stunning first dates. I'm aiming to take my latest girl to the High, she mentioned a interest in Art and they're about to open a massive Salvador Dali exhibit.
The whole art thing might backfire though. Imagine you date someone who studies art and is WAY more knowledgeable than you.
Ferrus on
I would like to pause for a moment, to talk about my penis.
My penis is like a toddler. A toddler—who is a perfectly normal size for his age—on a long road trip to what he thinks is Disney World. My penis is excited because he hasn’t been to Disney World in a long, long time, but remembers a time when he used to go every day. So now the penis toddler is constantly fidgeting, whining “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now? Now? How about... now?”
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
Welp, I added casual sex to my profile. I doubt its going to hurt my 0% meet rate with women on OKC.
I'm going to get yelled at for propagating gender stereotypes, but from what I've read this can only hurt your chances. You might seem to have a 0% chance these days, but that might well be a death knell for some people who would've thought of replying to you otherwise. It's not really a good idea (far as I know) unless you're some kind of Adonis whom the ladies throw themselves upon. Plus, for most (NOTE: NOT ALL) guys it generally goes without saying. You might as well add "I have a pulse".
To dig myself out of the hole I've begun digging; many women dig casual sex too. However, I doubt there are terribly many of them struggling to find partners, online or offline. Yes, yes, I'm sure they're out there, but statistically speaking, a thrilling vixen of a lass probably doesn't need to put too much effort into seeking out partners (though they may have to separate a great deal of wheat from the figurative chaff).
A better bet is just to leave your "searching for" as it was before, and seek out women who have listed themselves as being interested in casual sex.
Of course, dozens, hundreds or thousands of other guys in your area are likely doing the same thing as well, so good luck being heard amongst the clamor of the masses.
... in hind sight, I brought this upon myself, but it was with the best of intentions.
The whole art thing might backfire though. Imagine you date someone who studies art and is WAY more knowledgeable than you.
Unless the sole intention was to take them somewhere to show off, I don't see why this would be a problem. I'd love to date women that matched or surpassed my knowledge in a number of things, even things I consider myself good and/or knowledgeable at.
Forar on
First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
Well, I've had an amazing FWB that I met on POF, and I wasn't searching for intimate encounters. Figured I'd throw it out there, particularly because I'm really not looking for a LTR at the moment.
Hey Forar or gjaustin, eHarmony questions if you guys don't mind. I got a subscription mainly cause I was able to get it for the same deal you did, the 60 bucks for 3 months and thought why not, lets see how it goes.
I'm really confused about this communication thing, you know the 4 stages.
My first question is, do you guys feel this thing is a bit overboard? I agree with what you said gjaustin how it is very simple so you can get easy answers/replies from people. So for the first stage, it is fine. But I think the whole waiting back and forth for each step seems a bit...weird. Like I am left wondering ok she replied to my questions and then continued after I responded with mine...should I not just send an e-mail? I am hesitant since maybe it is more comfortable to them to not be forward...
My main problem is I am on the 3rd stage with one girl (the 3 long answer questions). As I was typing the answer to one of them I am like how detailed should I be? I was getting pretty detailed and then realized, I know little of this person and am telling them really personal stuff. Though it is a lot easier to tell them online, I'd rather simply just tell them in person...
So I guess my second question is how detailed/personal have you been in these questions? You write a paragraph or two but not too specific? Or have you gone into fair detail?
I've only emailed with 1 person so far on the site, and it wasn't terribly detailed or personal during the first four stages. Obviously some people put a little more emphasis on them, but I saw those initial questions as fairly simple, straightforward chances to wink and nod your way to emails, which are then a manner of expressing yourself a little more clearly towards meeting up and seeing if there's a spark.
But as noted, the eharmony using ladies of Toronto and I don't quite seem to be getting along, so do take that with a grain of salt.
It has, however, led me to think that my profile can probably use some updating, and that I should harass their staff soon (perhaps tomorrow) to get my questionnaire answers reset so that perhaps I can redirect their matching algorithms to, well, people who actually match with me.
I totally respect that my personal approach to online dating may or may not be part of the problem, but I'm still leaving the lion's share of the issues on the site's doorstep.
The really bad: Is that my former female roommate viewing my profile? Yes, yes it is.
Why is that "really bad"? Maybe they were just surprised to see a familiar face. Maybe they were curious to see how you presented yourself.
Or maybe they want to break you like a pony.
From your reaction I assume this isn't someone you find particularly attractive for one reason or another?
Personally, I've only found one person on here that I knew before I saw their profile, and checking it out while tossing them a message was my first response.
Forar on
First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
I've only emailed with 1 person so far on the site, and it wasn't terribly detailed or personal during the first four stages. Obviously some people put a little more emphasis on them, but I saw those initial questions as fairly simple, straightforward chances to wink and nod your way to emails, which are then a manner of expressing yourself a little more clearly towards meeting up and seeing if there's a spark.
But as noted, the eharmony using ladies of Toronto and I don't quite seem to be getting along, so do take that with a grain of salt.
It has, however, led me to think that my profile can probably use some updating, and that I should harass their staff soon (perhaps tomorrow) to get my questionnaire answers reset so that perhaps I can redirect their matching algorithms to, well, people who actually match with me.
I totally respect that my personal approach to online dating may or may not be part of the problem, but I'm still leaving the lion's share of the issues on the site's doorstep.
... it's the only way I can sleep at night. :?
I think I look at online dating differently than what eHarmony tries to do with the communications. They've done the part in introducing couples and the first stage is more than enough to say hey, I saw your profile and am interested and you answered questions in a way which I like. But for me, after that I'd almost rather meet up to see if there is anything, cause right away we would see if we had chemistry and if we were really interested in some of these answers, we could simply ask them during the date.
I guess it is the same with okcupid only you are doing more the searching. After a couple exchanges in messages I would rather meet up in person than to have that continue for a couple weeks.
Regarding resetting the questionnaire answers, I have been wondering the same thing. Not so much right now needing to get it reset, but more what if we wanted to. Especially since we are unable to search for people.
Tzyr on
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OnTheLastCastlelet's keep it haimish for the peripateticRegistered Userregular
edited August 2010
My being interested in dating and meeting cool girls means that tonight my ex-fiance was dumped by her limp wristed musician boyfriend. Probably in protest of his album getting a 6.6 on Pitchfork. She'll obviously want to get back together as soon as I meet someone super awesome.
My being interested in dating and meeting cool girls means that tonight my ex-fiance was dumped by her limp wristed musician boyfriend. Probably in protest of his album getting a 6.6 on Pitchfork. She'll obviously want to get back together as soon as I meet someone super awesome.
Well, I've never really had a girlfriend or thefuckever, and seeing as I just graduated from college and won't be having a go-to job for as long as I can manage, I realized I really won't be meeting people without some effort. Signed up on OKC, and am meeting a cool sounding girl next Friday. I think unless some attractive girl messages me with an interest in casual sex I'm gonna play it like having a conversation and just hanging and meeting one another rather than at all thinking of it as a 'date'. I don't think I'd ask a stranger to a date IRL and it's only a little better on something like OKC because even if you know something about them you have no idea how you'll get along.
Anyways, I never would have thought I'd react this way to an online dating site. I find it really easy to just 'look at the next one' hoping it will be someone who seems like someone I'd want to have a full adult relationship with. Unfortunately most are just intimidatingly attractive and only very few profiles really make me think that I'd be able to get along with someone as more than an acquaintance. It's a little bit bad because obviously I can't really know just from the profile.
It's weird, I'm totally confident and happy with my direction in life and I'm a pretty strikingly reasonable and kind person, but I have absolutely no idea how hideous or attractive I am because I've had virtually no feedback or rejections/acceptance. The few times I've asked I've gotten somewhat reassuring whatever that I'm not really ugly but I'd rather hear strangers tell me the truth than receive comfort. I can deal with any opinion or harsh reality, but having no idea is really vexing because I don't want to approach people and seem creepy or inappropriate. I'm the kind of guy who contemplates making a permanent mask for my face just because it'd be me defining myself. Rejection doesn't bother me, but being seen as something I'm not does. Ah well. I know I'm being overly self-conscious, but try being my age and having had only one instance of intimacy with a girl who didn't even speak the same language.
So yeah, I could use some profile advice I suppose.
Well, I've never really had a girlfriend or thefuckever, and seeing as I just graduated from college and won't be having a go-to job for as long as I can manage, I realized I really won't be meeting people without some effort. Signed up on OKC, and am meeting a cool sounding girl next Friday. I think unless some attractive girl messages me with an interest in casual sex I'm gonna play it like having a conversation and just hanging and meeting one another rather than at all thinking of it as a 'date'. I don't think I'd ask a stranger to a date IRL and it's only a little better on something like OKC because even if you know something about them you have no idea how you'll get along.
Anyways, I never would have thought I'd react this way to an online dating site. I find it really easy to just 'look at the next one' hoping it will be someone who seems like someone I'd want to have a full adult relationship with. Unfortunately most are just intimidatingly attractive and only very few profiles really make me think that I'd be able to get along with someone as more than an acquaintance. It's a little bit bad because obviously I can't really know just from the profile.
It's weird, I'm totally confident and happy with my direction in life and I'm a pretty strikingly reasonable and kind person, but I have absolutely no idea how hideous or attractive I am because I've had virtually no feedback or rejections/acceptance. The few times I've asked I've gotten somewhat reassuring whatever that I'm not really ugly but I'd rather hear strangers tell me the truth than receive comfort. I can deal with any opinion or harsh reality, but having no idea is really vexing because I don't want to approach people and seem creepy or inappropriate. Rejection doesn't bother me, but being seen as something I'm not does. Ah well. I know I'm being overly self-conscious, but try being my age and having had only one instance of intimacy with a girl who didn't even speak the same language.
So yeah, I could use some profile advice I suppose.
And yeah, re-reading my post it definitely comes off as douchey. Sorry about that, I think I just get a little defensive when I talk about that stuff because it's my biggest failing.
I've only taken a quick look at your pictures (Can't say much about what to write on a profile anyway) but damn I think you did about everything right you CAN do right.
You're handsome, you have interesting hobbies and your an artist for christs sake! Girls should be all over you.
Ferrus on
I would like to pause for a moment, to talk about my penis.
My penis is like a toddler. A toddler—who is a perfectly normal size for his age—on a long road trip to what he thinks is Disney World. My penis is excited because he hasn’t been to Disney World in a long, long time, but remembers a time when he used to go every day. So now the penis toddler is constantly fidgeting, whining “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now? Now? How about... now?”
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
The rest of you, I fucking hate you for the fact that I now have a blue dot on this god awful thread.
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kaliyamaLeft to find less-moderated foraRegistered Userregular
edited August 2010
I asked my ex-gf out to go to tropical vacation with me, as we are on good terms and it would be fun. She interpreted as a renewal of the relationship. eeep. i still might go with her because i don't want to be on a beach alone. but probably not.
And yeah, re-reading my post it definitely comes off as douchey. Sorry about that, I think I just get a little defensive when I talk about that stuff because it's my biggest failing.
Since you've just graduated from college, I wouldn't be so dramatic as to call it "a failing." I mean, really. You've been in school. It's quite all right to have not pursued to romantic side of life all that much, no matter what popular college comedies say. haha. Your profile looks fine to me. Just keep a relaxed attitude and see where things go.
Posts
o_O
Did you not have your brain plugged in?
re: messaging someone after a short pause: You can totally do this, but just like normal dating you don't really bring up the other people. Not only is that tacky, but yeah, it says "you're the backup." Just say you got super busy with work and you're sorry you couldn't write back, but you were planning on asking her for a date and you figured it would be worse to flake if you had actual plans.
re: full inbox: Don't worry about it. Most likely this person is not actually using their account, or responding to people. If you can't message someone, just take it as a sign that the person's a lost cause.
I tried smiling but it either looked fake or like a scowl. :?
Also I chose the glasses specifically because they make my eyes look a bit smaller. Usually they look HUGE and black. My Ex said she was afraid to look me in the eyes when we first met. But I'm glad it works, thank you.
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
Watch your favorite comedian and either film yourself and take out a single frame or try to get a good picture of you smiling/ laughing.
This is new, I am not normally scared of meeting new people. I guess it's because I've never dated traditionally, so they idea of meeting someone face to face for the first time with the under current of 'will they like me, will I like them, what happens now?' is...
Intimidating.
A friend of mine went on a date with a girl once who put an empty plastic capsule in his drink when he wasn't looking.
Any girl who makes roofie jokes on a first date is a keeper I told him, but I don't think it ever went anywhere between them.
edit: Gummy, you gotta remember that you're using a dating website, the eventual goal is to meet someone in person, hopefully someone who will love you and let you rub your genitals together.
It can certainly be intimidating at first, but it helps if you make your first meeting a "casual" activity (like an easy lunch somewhere, or a museum or something) as opposed to a stereotypical "date" environment (dinner somewhere, a movie, drinks at a bar).
I would just like to say that a museum is a great idea for a meetup or first date. It's nice because you can wander together, you can wander separately and then draw the person's attention to something you find interesting, there's plenty of fodder for conversation, and usually there's a café or something if you want to sit and talk afterward. Now, if I could just get more museum dates. :-P
wish list
Steam wishlist
Etsy wishlist
That is brilliant
3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
That's a pretty great idea. That way you can see what kind of taste the other person has.
Not that Ikea stuff is specifically classy or anything but there is lots of things to talk about and disagree about that keeps the conversation going.
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
Getting messages from this girl I'm actually interested in. She lists my town but in reality lives an hour and 20 minutes away. It's a small town and she wants a bigger dating pool or something. Grumble. Mumble.
I purchased a yearly membership to both the High Museum of Art and the Georgia Aquarium for myself. They both had add-ons for a Guest Pass and they both make for some stunning first dates. I'm aiming to take my latest girl to the High, she mentioned a interest in Art and they're about to open a massive Salvador Dali exhibit.
STEAM | XBL | PSN
3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
I'm going to get yelled at for propagating gender stereotypes, but from what I've read this can only hurt your chances. You might seem to have a 0% chance these days, but that might well be a death knell for some people who would've thought of replying to you otherwise. It's not really a good idea (far as I know) unless you're some kind of Adonis whom the ladies throw themselves upon. Plus, for most (NOTE: NOT ALL) guys it generally goes without saying. You might as well add "I have a pulse".
To dig myself out of the hole I've begun digging; many women dig casual sex too. However, I doubt there are terribly many of them struggling to find partners, online or offline. Yes, yes, I'm sure they're out there, but statistically speaking, a thrilling vixen of a lass probably doesn't need to put too much effort into seeking out partners (though they may have to separate a great deal of wheat from the figurative chaff).
A better bet is just to leave your "searching for" as it was before, and seek out women who have listed themselves as being interested in casual sex.
Of course, dozens, hundreds or thousands of other guys in your area are likely doing the same thing as well, so good luck being heard amongst the clamor of the masses.
... in hind sight, I brought this upon myself, but it was with the best of intentions.
Unless the sole intention was to take them somewhere to show off, I don't see why this would be a problem. I'd love to date women that matched or surpassed my knowledge in a number of things, even things I consider myself good and/or knowledgeable at.
3ds friend code: 2981-6032-4118
The bad: she is not ready for a relationship with anyone yet. So just friends.
The really bad: Is that my former female roommate viewing my profile? Yes, yes it is.
I'm really confused about this communication thing, you know the 4 stages.
My first question is, do you guys feel this thing is a bit overboard? I agree with what you said gjaustin how it is very simple so you can get easy answers/replies from people. So for the first stage, it is fine. But I think the whole waiting back and forth for each step seems a bit...weird. Like I am left wondering ok she replied to my questions and then continued after I responded with mine...should I not just send an e-mail? I am hesitant since maybe it is more comfortable to them to not be forward...
My main problem is I am on the 3rd stage with one girl (the 3 long answer questions). As I was typing the answer to one of them I am like how detailed should I be? I was getting pretty detailed and then realized, I know little of this person and am telling them really personal stuff. Though it is a lot easier to tell them online, I'd rather simply just tell them in person...
So I guess my second question is how detailed/personal have you been in these questions? You write a paragraph or two but not too specific? Or have you gone into fair detail?
friends can develop into more down the line, see what happens! some of my most productive relationships have grown from friendships.
But as noted, the eharmony using ladies of Toronto and I don't quite seem to be getting along, so do take that with a grain of salt.
It has, however, led me to think that my profile can probably use some updating, and that I should harass their staff soon (perhaps tomorrow) to get my questionnaire answers reset so that perhaps I can redirect their matching algorithms to, well, people who actually match with me.
I totally respect that my personal approach to online dating may or may not be part of the problem, but I'm still leaving the lion's share of the issues on the site's doorstep.
... it's the only way I can sleep at night. :?
Why is that "really bad"? Maybe they were just surprised to see a familiar face. Maybe they were curious to see how you presented yourself.
Or maybe they want to break you like a pony.
From your reaction I assume this isn't someone you find particularly attractive for one reason or another?
Personally, I've only found one person on here that I knew before I saw their profile, and checking it out while tossing them a message was my first response.
I think I look at online dating differently than what eHarmony tries to do with the communications. They've done the part in introducing couples and the first stage is more than enough to say hey, I saw your profile and am interested and you answered questions in a way which I like. But for me, after that I'd almost rather meet up to see if there is anything, cause right away we would see if we had chemistry and if we were really interested in some of these answers, we could simply ask them during the date.
I guess it is the same with okcupid only you are doing more the searching. After a couple exchanges in messages I would rather meet up in person than to have that continue for a couple weeks.
Regarding resetting the questionnaire answers, I have been wondering the same thing. Not so much right now needing to get it reset, but more what if we wanted to. Especially since we are unable to search for people.
Sorry my life is a movie. It just happens.
I hear ya, Castle.
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Anyways, I never would have thought I'd react this way to an online dating site. I find it really easy to just 'look at the next one' hoping it will be someone who seems like someone I'd want to have a full adult relationship with. Unfortunately most are just intimidatingly attractive and only very few profiles really make me think that I'd be able to get along with someone as more than an acquaintance. It's a little bit bad because obviously I can't really know just from the profile.
It's weird, I'm totally confident and happy with my direction in life and I'm a pretty strikingly reasonable and kind person, but I have absolutely no idea how hideous or attractive I am because I've had virtually no feedback or rejections/acceptance. The few times I've asked I've gotten somewhat reassuring whatever that I'm not really ugly but I'd rather hear strangers tell me the truth than receive comfort. I can deal with any opinion or harsh reality, but having no idea is really vexing because I don't want to approach people and seem creepy or inappropriate. I'm the kind of guy who contemplates making a permanent mask for my face just because it'd be me defining myself. Rejection doesn't bother me, but being seen as something I'm not does. Ah well. I know I'm being overly self-conscious, but try being my age and having had only one instance of intimacy with a girl who didn't even speak the same language.
So yeah, I could use some profile advice I suppose.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Seglaf/
You're pretty cute. Get the hell over yourself.
And yeah, re-reading my post it definitely comes off as douchey. Sorry about that, I think I just get a little defensive when I talk about that stuff because it's my biggest failing.
You're handsome, you have interesting hobbies and your an artist for christs sake! Girls should be all over you.
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
Interesting...
My girlfriend?
woah
Then you go to the MOBA.
Since you've just graduated from college, I wouldn't be so dramatic as to call it "a failing." I mean, really. You've been in school. It's quite all right to have not pursued to romantic side of life all that much, no matter what popular college comedies say. haha. Your profile looks fine to me. Just keep a relaxed attitude and see where things go.
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