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Bitching Thread IV: I Must Break You (of bad comics)

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    TomantaTomanta Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    What's the utility of a cape? Protecting yourself from the rain?

    If so, would a modern Thor have an umbrella?

    Why would Thor need to protect himself from the rain? Plus it's hard to swing a hammer and hold an umbrella over your head at the same time.

    I'm pretty sure Thor just wears a cape because he can pull it off and he is used to it.

    Tomanta on
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    SolarSolar Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    I'm pretty sure Thor wears a cape because it looks cool, which is the same reason why everyone else does.

    Solar on
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    WildcatWildcat Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    And because with control of the winds he can always, always get the cape to flutter just so.

    Wildcat on
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    cshadow42cshadow42 Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Well, I imagine when you're fighting Frost Giants in arctic conditions, it gets pretty cold. If he were totally immune to cold and wet weather, then he'd just go around in the buff, don't you think?

    Now I have this image of a naked Thor shouting "Have at thee!".

    cshadow42 on
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    SolarSolar Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    cshadow42 wrote: »
    Well, I imagine when you're fighting Frost Giants in arctic conditions, it gets pretty cold. If he were totally immune to cold and wet weather, then he'd just go around in the buff, don't you think?

    Now I have this image of a naked Thor shouting "Have at thee!".

    Well, I think we were more suggesting that Thor doesn't need to worry about his cloak when he nips out to the shops in the rain because he can, you know, stop the rain. And stop imagining naked Thor. That's just wierd.
    Wildcat wrote: »
    And because with control of the winds he can always, always get the cape to flutter just so.

    I think anybody with weather powers who isn't doing this is an idiot.

    Solar on
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    WildcatWildcat Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    cshadow42 wrote: »
    Well, I imagine when you're fighting Frost Giants in arctic conditions, it gets pretty cold. If he were totally immune to cold and wet weather, then he'd just go around in the buff, don't you think?

    Now I have this image of a naked Thor shouting "Have at thee!".

    I suspect that buff fighting would be infringing on Herc's shtick. Unless of course, it is Herc posing as Thor doing naked fighty things to people.

    Wildcat on
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    SolarSolar Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Isn't naked fighting basically...

    never mind.

    Solar on
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    WildcatWildcat Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    :winky:

    X-Men emergency indeed, Charles.

    Wildcat on
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    cshadow42cshadow42 Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    I don't know...a God of Thunder and Storms wouldn't want to stop the rain. He just doesn't want to get soaked to the bone, hence the cape. I mean, c'mon... fighting in drenched clothing is just begging for some funky fungus growth.

    I'm surprised more gods don't go around in the buff, since in theory regular weather doesn't bother them, and they are supposedly evolved beyond man's sensibilities.

    And wouldn't a nude Thor running at you, backed up my the nude Three, give you pause? The absence of clothing would cause you to believe its not just a beating you're about to receive...

    cshadow42 on
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    SolarSolar Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Generally in a lot of classic artwork Gods do tend to wander around in the buff. Can't really put that in a mainstream comic book though.

    Solar on
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    WildcatWildcat Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    But Volstagg knows that the ladies of the world are not ready for such concentrated awesome.

    Wildcat on
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    cshadow42cshadow42 Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    I can just imagine Hercules lounging around Avengers Mansion in the buff. And no one wanting to sit on the vinyl couches afterwards.

    cshadow42 on
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    DarkWarriorDarkWarrior __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2010
    Volstagg wears clothes because of his third leg being somewhat distracting. It was on Siege or a Frontline.

    DarkWarrior on
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    CountBlackulaCountBlackula MarylandRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Reed Richards has the biggest wang in the Marvel universe.

    I'm just saying!!!

    CountBlackula on
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    DarkWarriorDarkWarrior __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2010
    There had to be a reason Sue stays with such an abusive husband.

    DarkWarrior on
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    CountBlackulaCountBlackula MarylandRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    There had to be a reason Sue stays with such an abusive husband.

    Because he's LOADED.

    Seriously, though, how much do you think Reed is worth? I'm guessing 100 mil?

    CountBlackula on
    8JHfoFW.png Dom's Sketch Cast
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    DarkWarriorDarkWarrior __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2010
    Doubt it, he might have patented a range of life improving technologies BUT NOONE USES THEM. Ever.

    Theyre still using bullets in regular guns.

    DarkWarrior on
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    LanglyLangly Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    man if you think richards is worth 100 mil you are crazy. They are basically infinitely wealthy.

    Langly on
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    TexiKenTexiKen Dammit! That fish really got me!Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    This might be stating the obvious or having to shoot the broad side of a barn, but the CBR reviews are worthless.

    And it really wouldn't be that much of a problem if they didn't put the reviews on their front page like it's a news item.

    And it's not just someone with a different opinion talking about the comic, a review can still be good if you disagree with the final verdict. Let's take this Cap #607 review. It was given 4 stars, but the review itself is very lacking in specifics beyond the 5 page preview we see every week for new comics. And the comment about the Nomad back up reads like nothing more than a generic comment about how there's no need for Rikki's backup since she has a team ongoing now.

    But for instance, these paragraphs about Zemo:
    And that was thankfully what I got. With Steve Rogers now back in the universe, Brubaker is free to start deconstructing Bucky’s position as the new Captain America, and who better to be his in-universe proxy than Baron Helmut Zemo, the son of the man who originally “killed” Bucky? Casting Zemo as a skilled manipulator keen to turn the heat on Bucky, Brubaker has given him the threatening, psychological air that a true arch-villain should have.

    Indeed, with the Red Skull off the table, Zemo seems particularly well-poised to step into the breach as one of Captain America’s more formidable threats, and it makes for a fantastic reintroduction of the character. Specifically, Brubaker has emphasized the threat Zemo poses to Bucky, re-casting him as a villain for this Captain America, rather than the general “Captain America.” It makes sense and, in particular, it does a good service to Zemo, a character who deserves a strong reintroduction.

    Thing is, Zemo has been shown in the two issues of Cap for a max of 7 pages, and the threat he poses is nothing specific to Zemo, but rather any generic bad guy. Two issues in and there's no catch. And I can understand people not liking Zemo as a hero, it's their choice, but by falling into the fallacy that villains of __x__ should always be villains of __x__ you limit new story choices. In fact, Bucky and Zemo being bad guys forces you to stay in that bubble, when you have a new Cap who could really branch out of the normal Cap villains and stories.

    It's just, I don't know. I expect CBR and Newsarama to play soft with creators and company bigwigs in their articles and their coverage, because comics news is a joke. But in reviews I expect something more filling, more meaningful than someone trying to get their name on the back of the inevitable TPB (this could also probably be used for any other review, be it music or movies or games).

    These or These or this is a lot more informative and worthwhile than someone trying to pad one comic review to be 7 or 8 paragraphs or some word minimum. Even our conversations here give more insight to books than those reviews, in between the pregnant pictures and talks about how awesome USAgent is.

    TexiKen on
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    cshadow42cshadow42 Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Mmm...I read Weekly Crisis, though I do have a beef that the writer of it only pops up in these forums once in a while, long enough for his banner ad for his site to appear. But Weekly Crisis is small time, so he can say whatever he wants and not have to worry about DC/Marvel shutting him out, because he was never "in" in the first place.

    I get my news from CBR, and my reviews from both Weekly Crisis and CBR. And CBR isn't totally slavish; there are some titles which they absolutely hammer (e.g. Teen Titans).

    What I hope from the current Zemo/Cap arc is some sort of thing where Zemo is trying to prove himself the better hero, sort of like he did in the Avengers/Thunderbolts crossover. I like this dynamic where he can appear villainous in his attempts to make the world better.

    cshadow42 on
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    TexiKenTexiKen Dammit! That fish really got me!Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    One thing I notice with big news site reviews is that they only hammer the titles that everyone knows is bad, so they're not really adding anything new. You aren't going out on a limb by saying Ultimatum or Teen Titans sucks.

    And I'm not looking for all negative all the time, but a sense of not following a herd mentality. Instead of another review of X-Men #1 this week, check out Darkstar and the Winter Guard #2 instead.

    TexiKen on
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    FuruFuru Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    The CBR reviewer hates the Nomad back-up for some reason.

    and the reason is they're an idiot.

    Furu on
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    TexiKenTexiKen Dammit! That fish really got me!Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    prepárese para el nuevo Spider-Girl!

    This could go either way, depending mainly on if McKeever is writing the book or not.

    TexiKen on
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    FuruFuru Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    I am happy about an Arana ongoing but not so much calling her Spider-Girl.

    Furu on
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    spookymuffinspookymuffin ( ° ʖ ° ) Puyallup WA Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Arana already has her own identity established. Why take that away and give her a name that would only confuse people into thinking that she's in some way related to Spider-Man? This is the kind of stuff that DC does, taking an established character and changing the gender/age of it until you have a dozen copycats running around.

    Hey, it's Superman! No wait, it's Superboy! Blonde hair? It's Supergirl! Think again, it's Superwoman!

    Don't even get me started on the Flash. Ugh.

    spookymuffin on
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    MastaPMastaP Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Arana already has her own identity established. Why take that away and give her a name that would only confuse people into thinking that she's in some way related to Spider-Man?

    To actually sell the book

    MastaP on
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    Robos A Go GoRobos A Go Go Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Should've called her Spider-Bitch instead, since nobody's using that name right now.

    Robos A Go Go on
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    DarkWarriorDarkWarrior __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2010
    If theres one way to make noone care about a character and ultimately get her killed its to give them teh Spider-Girl title.

    DarkWarrior on
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    KVWKVW Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    cshadow42 wrote: »
    Mmm...I read Weekly Crisis, though I do have a beef that the writer of it only pops up in these forums once in a while, long enough for his banner ad for his site to appear. But Weekly Crisis is small time, so he can say whatever he wants and not have to worry about DC/Marvel shutting him out, because he was never "in" in the first place.

    What? Ive been posting here since 2006, long before I started blogging, and lurking since shortly after it opened. I havent posted in the last month or two due to other things taking up my time in real life, but still stopped in once in a while and I don't just post here randomly for banner links.

    KVW on
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    The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    kvw don't get so mad

    it is only cshadow

    however I can be mad at you because I never win any of your contests, and clearly I am the most handsome entrant

    The Lovely Bastard on
    7656367.jpg
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    KVWKVW Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Ok, you sign up for the walking dead omnibus on august 1st and ill conveniently pick the sexiest man alive to win it. but that excludes you from a sexy ben reilly hoody. WHAT DO YOU DO TLB?

    KVW on
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    FuruFuru Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Arana already has her own identity established. Why take that away and give her a name that would only confuse people into thinking that she's in some way related to Spider-Man? This is the kind of stuff that DC does, taking an established character and changing the gender/age of it until you have a dozen copycats running around.

    Hey, it's Superman! No wait, it's Superboy! Blonde hair? It's Supergirl! Think again, it's Superwoman!

    Don't even get me started on the Flash. Ugh.

    To be fair she is sort of related to spider-man

    they've even teamed up multiple times (something that writers like to conveniently forget)

    Furu on
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    FuruFuru Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    welp
    You’ve seen her in Young Allies, what’s the story behind the new Spider-Girl? Find out in Amazing Spider-Man #637, the next chapter of the sold-out, critically-acclaimed “Grim Hunt”! The red-hot team of Joe Kelly and Michael Lark has brought Spider-Man and his allies to their knees—but the birth of the Marvel Universe’s new Spider-Girl—in an all-new costume—may be what the heroes need to win! And once the dust settles, Spider-Girl will change Spider-Man’s world forever, in ways no fan can afford to miss!

    THAT PRETTY MUCH SETTLES IT

    (fun fact: Arana was supposed to be Spider-Girl before Defalco threw a major shit fit)

    Furu on
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    TexiKenTexiKen Dammit! That fish really got me!Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Defalco did kind of get an "I told you so" when Arana first appeared though, since her two minis (count the anthology) sold below Spider-Girl back then.

    Granted, Spider-Girl now deserves to be cancelled since it's around 14-15k, but 5 years ago she was getting 20k consistently, and Arana, after a big push with bigger creative names and that terrible marketing strategy, went down to 10k in her final series.

    Just really, the key to making Arana more successful is just no use of the word "gringo" or any other randomly placed spanish lingo to show she's a hip (relatively) new minority character. That's all Marvel has to do and she should do well.

    TexiKen on
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    The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    KVW wrote: »
    Ok, you sign up for the walking dead omnibus on august 1st and ill conveniently pick the sexiest man alive to win it. but that excludes you from a sexy ben reilly hoody. WHAT DO YOU DO TLB?

    GIMME THAT HOODIE

    The Lovely Bastard on
    7656367.jpg
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    spookymuffinspookymuffin ( ° ʖ ° ) Puyallup WA Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Furu wrote: »
    welp
    You’ve seen her in Young Allies, what’s the story behind the new Spider-Girl? Find out in Amazing Spider-Man #637, the next chapter of the sold-out, critically-acclaimed “Grim Hunt”! The red-hot team of Joe Kelly and Michael Lark has brought Spider-Man and his allies to their knees—but the birth of the Marvel Universe’s new Spider-Girl—in an all-new costume—may be what the heroes need to win! And once the dust settles, Spider-Girl will change Spider-Man’s world forever, in ways no fan can afford to miss!

    THAT PRETTY MUCH SETTLES IT

    (fun fact: Arana was supposed to be Spider-Girl before Defalco threw a major shit fit)

    Well, that sucks.

    spookymuffin on
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    Robos A Go GoRobos A Go Go Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Oh man, I can't believe that Gauntlet is going to come down to Arana, of all people.

    Robos A Go Go on
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    DarkWarriorDarkWarrior __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2010
    Oh man, I can't believe that Gauntlet is going to come down to Arana, of all people.

    I guess one way to put someone over is to crush completely the entire Spider cast. Problem is, can Spidey sell it?

    DarkWarrior on
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    TexiKenTexiKen Dammit! That fish really got me!Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    hahaahahahahaahahahahahhahahahahaa:

    1278450670.jpg


    He poorly traced a vampire!

    TexiKen on
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    kdrudykdrudy Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    what the fuck

    kdrudy on
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