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Dungeons and Dragons and [Mini-Phallas] (Mafia Wins!)

CapfalconCapfalcon Tunnel Snakes RuleCapital WastelandRegistered User regular
edited August 2010 in Critical Failures
ITT people try to tell you the way you like to make an OP for a game based on a game where you play as a fantasy elf or dwarf is wrong. Plus you're probably a jerk. Why are you such a jerk? Also that you are not making OPs the one true way and that you're a horrible monster. Why do you hate fun?


DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS AND PHALLAS


This is a Dungeon.
jct_dungeon1.jpg

This is a Dragon.
dragon.gif

And this is a Phalla. Well, a Mini-Phalla. It made for up to 28 people. The goal of the game is to prove your alignment is the best by beating the crap out of all the others. Other than that, the standard rules apply. Red vote in Red, and please retract your vote in Lime Green. Clarifications in Orange. Also, I need to be invited to all proboards for the game.

Other rules:
You may Attack OR Defend each night. Attacking deals your attack - their defense to the target in damage. Defending means that you take all damage done to the person you are guarding as if you were being attacked and counter attack each person who attacked your target.
You may perform one action each night. These include your abilities from your class and items.
Each night, your party will find an item. Since this is D&D, I have a percentile chart for it. You may freely trade items each night.

Our story begins, as many fascinating stories do, in a convention hall...

DM: I'm sure your wondering why I called you all here today.

Player #14:...Not really. This is a convention, and we signed up for this event...

DM: Hush you. I always wanted to say that.

Player #6: Look, just let him start.

Player #14: Ok, ok...

DM: Each of you was bedded down for the night with your party. However, you wake up in an underground cave. Oddly enough, you are surround by a large number of people you don't recognize who also seem to be waking up. Even more oddly, there seems to be a clear dragon standing over you. Wait... Not quite clear... Just colorless.

The Dragon speaks, and you can hear the room shake with his voice...

"Greetings, mortals. I, the mighty Dragon Smurg, have decided to choose to ally myself with the most powerful alignment. You peons will show me which is the strongest by fighting each other to the death. The group that defeats its direct opposite and half of the other alignments will be th-"

Player #29: Wait a second. You mean PvP? With Pregens? This is a terrible idea!

DM: If you don't like it, then go and host your own event.

Player #29: Fine! I will!

DM: Anyone else? Good. Now where was I? Oh right. The dragon wants to see which alignment is truly the strongest. To do this, you must band together with your friends and eliminate those of an opposing alignment. As all of you leave, the Dragon offers one last word of advice, "And watch out for those crazy True Neutrals. I didn't summon them, but they came anyway. They probably want me to be unable to make a decision by killing all of you. So... get rid of them for me, will you?"


Players
1. ronrab
2. Phyphor - Lawful Good Paladin
3. Ringo - Chaotic Evil Barbarian
4. TheLawinator
5. Alegis - ROLEplayer - Victorious on Night 4.
6. JaysonFour - Neutral Knight
7. The Ender - Neutral Wu Gen
8. jdarksun
9. Dunadan019 - BALANCE Psion
10. Teucrian
11. Daniant - BALANCE Spelltheif
12. romanqwerty - Lawful Good Cleric
13. samurai6966
14. Lucedes - Lawful Good Wizard
15. Ebfan - Chaotic Evil Assassin
16. NotoriousBEN
17. [strike]Arivia[/strike] Shushnik
18. Celebrim
19. SkyCaptain
20. Zandragon
21. Kias
22. Red Shirt 101 - Neutral Factorum
23. abotkin
24. Megatin - Chaotic Good Bard
25. Zaximus - Chaotic Evil Warmage
26. Orange Soda - Lawful Good Rogue
27. ShadowThomas
28. The Anonymous - Neutral Spirit Shaman

Reserves:
lonelyahava


Night 1
Night 2
Night 3
Night 4

Clarifications
Megatin wrote:
Are the alignments masoned in the mini you're starting up?

Yes.

VOTE CLOSE IS AT 10 CST.

Capfalcon on
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Posts

  • ronrabronrab Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    !I win initiative

    ronrab on
  • PhyphorPhyphor Building Planet Busters Tasting FruitRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    But I roll twenties

    Phyphor on
    Magic Box
    Academician Prokhor "Phyphor" Zakharov, Chief Scientist of China, Provost of the University of Planet - SE++ Megagame
  • delrolanddelroland Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    This isn't a true D&D thread without a picture of Bane. :P

    delroland on
    EVE: Online - the most fun you will ever have not playing a game.
    "Go up, thou bald head." -2 Kings 2:23
  • CapfalconCapfalcon Tunnel Snakes Rule Capital WastelandRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    delroland wrote: »
    This isn't a true D&D thread without a picture of Bane. :P

    But this is a 3.5 game.

    And all the craziness that entails...

    Capfalcon on
  • RingoRingo Out of things to say Heartbreak HillRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    What makes a man go neutral?

    Ringo on
    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • TheLawinatorTheLawinator Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    !Signup

    TheLawinator on
    My SteamID Gamertag and PSN: TheLawinator
  • RingoRingo Out of things to say Heartbreak HillRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Also, link in the signup thread, yadda yadda yadda

    Ringo on
    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • AlegisAlegis Impeckable Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    cast Scroll of Sign Up

    Alegis on
  • 3clipse3clipse I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Roll for initiative

    3clipse on
    YaYa wrote: »
    FUCK YEAH LET'S FIGHT THE MOON
  • The EnderThe Ender Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    MAGIC MISSILE!

    The Ender on
    With Love and Courage
  • Dunadan019Dunadan019 Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    I have to be in every phalla or the universe will stop.

    Dunadan019 on
  • TeucrianTeucrian Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    !sign up

    Teucrian on
  • daniantdaniant Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    ohmygodohmygodohmygod.

    Hello, Phalla of my Dreams, where have you been all my life?

    I want to be a Chaotic Good Mystic Theurge!

    daniant on
  • romanqwertyromanqwerty Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Save vs Phalla failed

    I guess i'll have to play then.

    romanqwerty on
  • daniantdaniant Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    jdarksun wrote: »
    Multiclass Barbarian/Bard is where it's at.

    Actually, one of my best friends always played Bardarian. He even wrote his own songs (which were awful and hilarious) and sang them off-key when he was using a perform skill.

    Good times.

    daniant on
  • samurai6966samurai6966 Registered User
    edited July 2010
    Aegeri wrote: »
    ...Hence the name. Also, as a bonus picture here is Bane.

    372_bane.jpg

    He's so dreamy <3.

    And no, he's not going anywhere from the OP. He wants you to love his manly pectoral muscles, his huge thigh muscles and bulging tip of the long hard shaft of his spear. The artist who drew this spectacular visage of our general thread mascot and local god even has a wallpaper of him. All hail Bane!!!!

    IF YOU ARE GOING TO RIP OFF AN OP, DO IT RIGHT!!!!

    samurai6966 on
    Echo wrote: »
    Yeah, some times I just want to get my farm in shape without being bothered by green explosive dildos.
  • CapfalconCapfalcon Tunnel Snakes Rule Capital WastelandRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Fine, fine. Fixed the OP.

    Capfalcon on
  • samurai6966samurai6966 Registered User
    edited July 2010
    You are a horrible monster!

    samurai6966 on
    Echo wrote: »
    Yeah, some times I just want to get my farm in shape without being bothered by green explosive dildos.
  • CapfalconCapfalcon Tunnel Snakes Rule Capital WastelandRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Megatin wrote:
    Are the alignments masoned in the mini you're starting up?

    Yes.

    Capfalcon on
  • LucedesLucedes never stops, never started Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    !natural signup

    Lucedes on
  • LucedesLucedes never stops, never started Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    I also just realized - thou shalt not suffer the neutral to live.

    Lucedes on
  • EgosEgos Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Aegeri wrote: »
    ...Hence the name. Also, as a bonus picture here is Bane.

    372_bane.jpg

    He's so dreamy <3.

    And no, he's not going anywhere from the OP. He wants you to love his manly pectoral muscles, his huge thigh muscles and bulging tip of the long hard shaft of his spear. The artist who drew this spectacular visage of our general thread mascot and local god even has a wallpaper of him. All hail Bane!!!!

    IF YOU ARE GOING TO RIP OFF AN OP, DO IT RIGHT!!!!

    I now know how women feel when they look at most fantasy art.

    Egos on
  • LucedesLucedes never stops, never started Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    You know, I didn't think I liked bulging muscles, but Bane is so... <3

    Lucedes on
  • EbfanEbfan Wimmy Wam Wam Wozzle! Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    !I hereby sign up for this Phalla

    Ebfan on
  • The AnonymousThe Anonymous Uh, uh, uhhhhhh... Uh, uh.Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    There better be dungeons AND dragons...

    The Anonymous on
  • NotoriusBENNotoriusBEN Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    !SIGN UP
    With outlandish keyboard striking, you sign up for a Phalla
    At-Will *Martial, Implement
    Standard Action
    Target: One PHALLA thread
    Effect: Sign up for one PHALLA and do 2[w] + str mod damage to target

    NotoriusBEN on
    notoriusben_zpsa205e831.png
    Steam - NotoriusBEN | Uplay - notoriusben | Xbox,Windows Live - ThatBEN
  • daniantdaniant Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    !SIGN UP
    With outlandish keyboard striking, you sign up for a Phalla
    At-Will *Martial, Implement
    Standard Action
    Target: One PHALLA thread
    Effect: Sign up for one PHALLA and do 2[w] + str mod damage to target

    That's not very 3.5. You've got to have, like, 3 attacks. What is this standard action you're speaking of?

    daniant on
  • CapfalconCapfalcon Tunnel Snakes Rule Capital WastelandRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    daniant wrote: »
    !SIGN UP
    With outlandish keyboard striking, you sign up for a Phalla
    At-Will *Martial, Implement
    Standard Action
    Target: One PHALLA thread
    Effect: Sign up for one PHALLA and do 2[w] + str mod damage to target

    That's not very 3.5. You've got to have, like, 3 attacks. What is this standard action you're speaking of?

    daniant, while you are technically correct, the man has created a work of beauty.

    And its close enough to Bo9S that its 3.5-ish.

    Capfalcon on
  • NotoriusBENNotoriusBEN Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Capfalcon didnt specify it was 3.5 even *if* there are true neutrals running around...
    besides, I get way more health at level one as a wizard in 4e than a barbarian in 3.5e

    NotoriusBEN on
    notoriusben_zpsa205e831.png
    Steam - NotoriusBEN | Uplay - notoriusben | Xbox,Windows Live - ThatBEN
  • PhyphorPhyphor Building Planet Busters Tasting FruitRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    That's the best kind of correct though!

    Phyphor on
    Magic Box
    Academician Prokhor "Phyphor" Zakharov, Chief Scientist of China, Provost of the University of Planet - SE++ Megagame
  • CapfalconCapfalcon Tunnel Snakes Rule Capital WastelandRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Capfalcon wrote: »
    delroland wrote: »
    This isn't a true D&D thread without a picture of Bane. :P

    But this is a 3.5 game.

    And all the craziness that entails...

    Erm...

    Capfalcon on
  • NotoriusBENNotoriusBEN Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    dammit...

    i reject your reality and substitute my own

    NotoriusBEN on
    notoriusben_zpsa205e831.png
    Steam - NotoriusBEN | Uplay - notoriusben | Xbox,Windows Live - ThatBEN
  • CapfalconCapfalcon Tunnel Snakes Rule Capital WastelandRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Phyphor wrote: »
    That's the best kind of correct though!

    We are just a pop culture reference Tag Team tonight, aren't we?

    Capfalcon on
  • daniantdaniant Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    Ben, I still approve. Nowadays, Standard Move Minor is where it's at for me.

    But I still miss the morality system that no one agrees with.

    "Man, that's not very chaotic evil. Back when I was playing, my chaotic evil character would slaughter every goat he saw. True story."

    daniant on
  • NotoriusBENNotoriusBEN Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    what's more creative than a barrel of fire?!
    everything/anything you apply it to has to include the phrase "and a barrel of fire"

    NotoriusBEN on
    notoriusben_zpsa205e831.png
    Steam - NotoriusBEN | Uplay - notoriusben | Xbox,Windows Live - ThatBEN
  • Rawkking GoodguyRawkking Goodguy Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    jdarksun wrote: »
    daniant wrote: »
    jdarksun wrote: »
    Multiclass Barbarian/Bard is where it's at.
    Actually, one of my best friends always played Bardarian. He even wrote his own songs (which were awful and hilarious) and sang them off-key when he was using a perform skill.

    Good times.
    Gotta be one in every group! A buddy of mine wrote a song (IRL) about a barrel of fire they put to... ah... creative purposes in game.

    Oh man I played a halfling bardbarian in a dark sun stealth game.

    so much fun

    (and let me clarify to the GM that I'm not signing up for this game. I'd love to but I've got way too much on my plate, probably shouldn't have signed up for ender's mini even)

    Rawkking Goodguy on
  • AriviaArivia Registered User
    edited July 2010
    rivsdice

    Arivia on
    huntresssig.jpg
  • samurai6966samurai6966 Registered User
    edited July 2010
    Arivia wrote: »
    rivsdiceofdeathanddestrutionwhichbringsadnesstotheillfatedplayerswhomustsufferit'swrath

    fix'd!

    samurai6966 on
    Echo wrote: »
    Yeah, some times I just want to get my farm in shape without being bothered by green explosive dildos.
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Mortius is correct Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited July 2010
    yeah, was gonna sign up... but then realized i'd prolly be drowned under D&D rules and things. And yeah, no thanks.....

    !reserve if you need players, and only then


    Also

    !when's vote close

    lonelyahava on
  • CelebrimCelebrim Registered User regular
    edited July 2010
    !Sign up

    Celebrim on
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